Rant...My BF is complaining about her pregnancy knowing I just lost mine. — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Rant...My BF is complaining about her pregnancy knowing I just lost mine.

I lost my baby 9/22 due to an epiotic pregnancy.  Meanwhile my best friend had been trying to get pregnant for the past 7 months even though she didn't really want to.  Her husband has been pushing her.  Well, last week she told me she was pregnant and kept saying, "My life is over." or "FML" when referring to her pregnancy.  She knows everything I have been going through...6 shots of methotrexate, leucovorin pills, every other day blood tests, thousands of dollars in medical costs, the pain of loss, getting amazon packages post loss with baby books....I could go on.  She has known everything.  I just can't believe how selfish she is being by talking about how much she hates being pregnant and how her life is now over.  I honestly can't even be around her right now because it makes me so sad. And now her husband is fishing for a "congratulations" from me over their pregnancy. But, I am not ready to talk with them about their pregnancy yet.  Sorry for the rant, just feeling very frustrated. 

Re: Rant...My BF is complaining about her pregnancy knowing I just lost mine.

  • That's so tough. Sorry about your loss and your shitty friend. 
    Maybe just tell her that you need a break from her friendship while you grieve your loss. 
  • I am sorry. she doesn't sound like a true friend. :-( 

     Anniversary
    When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013 

    Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
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  • Totally agree with the other comments. I was going to suggest that she might be so excited it is hard for her to keep her mouth shut...but if she only opens it to complain it shouldn't be that hard for her to shut up! 

    Distance yourself until when/if you are ready to return. If they can't understand that then they aren't worth it.
  • So sorry to hear about your BF.  People are so incredibly insensitive and selfish at times.  It never ceases to blow my mind.  Her husband fishing for a congrats?  I can't even.....    We have so many triggers as is just from the regular environment  

    Right now, you are the most important person to consider.  Please take care of yourself.  Even if it means taking distance from your friend.  If you are up to it, I do not think it would be out of line for you to briefly tell your BF why you need some space and a break from her complaining about her pregnancy.  

    Hope that pho and popcorn was delicious : )
    ***TW***
    Me: 36  DH:35
    Married: 7/10/2016
    TTC#1 - May 2016
    BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016  
    BFP 5/5/2017  - CP
    IVF #1 - June 2017  - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo.  7/9 Beta #1 - 161 
    <3 Adam <3 Born on 3/18/18




     
  • I think she has finally gotten the hint or someone has clued her in because we haven't hung out in 3 weeks because I have bailed on all of our plans.  She has been much more sensitive and hasn't said much about her pregnancy.  I finally told one of my other friends that I've only known about a year and she has been the greatest support.  Not even knowing the details of my situation yet, she said, "You've been through a traumatic experience and had a huge upheaval in your life.  It's going to take time to process this......

    So much more of what I need right now. Very thankful for her!

    And thanks for the thoughts and well wishes  @Rk4047 and @SP128

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