Baby shower for second baby

Caressa1 · October 2016

Hi ladies! Sorry for the long post!
Two days ago SO and I finally told our families that we're expecting again.
One of the first things SO's mom said to me was "I hope I can do the baby shower again!" I explained to her that I thought it would be weird if I had a baby shower again, especially since DD is only 9 months old (DD and LO will be 15 months apart). She said I should have another one because I'm having a boy this time but I still told her I wasn't sure. She seemed really let down and told me to just think about it.
I know that if I let her do a baby shower, she'll go all out and I really don't want that (She invited about 100 people to my first baby shower and spent thousands of dollars). I was thinking about talking to her about doing a "baby sprinkle" and just inviting our 10-15 closest family members but I'm still worried she'll go overboard.
I know she's going to bring it up again soon so I wanted to get other moms opinions on baby showers for baby #2. Should I let her throw a "sprinkle" or should I turn it down completely?

sdevinci · October 2016

Hi! I was having mixed feelings about having another shower also. Our DD is only 16 months and our one on the way is also a girl so I felt even more guilty asking fam n friends to come to another shower again. BUT, my mom talked me into it. She said that there are going to be ppl that want to get LO something. We do have pretty much everything we need but there are little things we could always use ex. Diapers!! So I say go for it! But maybe let ur MIL know ur concerns and to try not to over do it : ) plus what if ur DS grows up and asks how his baby shower was?

ladameperdue · October 2016

Personally, parties thrown for the purpose of receiving gifts make me feel uncomfortable, and I felt that way even with our first shower. Definitely saying no to any offers for number 2. If people want to give a gift, they are welcome to do so without a party.

twistsandturnsto2 · October 2016

If you are uncomfortable with a shower or sprinkle(personally I think both when you have babies that close in age are a bit much) why not try to sway her to a diaper party with a raffle or sip and see? That way it doesn't appear gift grabby and more relaxed. If folks want to give you a gift, they don't necessarily need a party to do that, IMO

catem07 · October 2016

Maybe be explicit about the invite with "Please, no gifts. Your presence as we celebrate our family's new arrival is enough." People who want to give gifts still will, but people who don't will recognize that it's not a gift-grabby occasion. And definitely don't open any gifts you do get at the party.

BeachMommy2B · October 2016

I think it's perfectly fine to have a party to celebrate a new baby. But Like @catem07 said, put "please, no gifts" this takes the expectation away and allowes you to enjoy celebrating with your family.

allybadry · October 2016

DS will be 20 months when LO is born. I am going to be quite adamant about no showers. Obviously you are going to need things but I personally don't hink its my family and friend's responsibility to provide them for us. If we do anything t would be a super laid-back sip and see, but more than likely I'll just make plans to do lunch or something more personal with each unit within my inner-circle. I'd rather spend time 1:1 anyway. I hardly had time to talk to everyone that was at my first shower.

andrea0418 · October 2016

I'm ok with showers as long as the pregnant lady isn't throwing it for herself.

jennielynn+ · October 2016

What @catem07 said is pretty great. I have already had two shower offers for our second and felt comfortable enough turning them down. I know I will not be able to escape my mom, especially if this one is a boy (we have a daughter). I plan on telling her diapers and books are fine but, we really have everything we need.

moore4al · October 2016

My babies will also be 15 months apart! My oldest is a boy. If this baby was a girl I was planning on having a sprinkle but probably not making a registry or anything- just let people bring pink stuff and bows! Baby is a boy so I am going to do a Sip and See after he is born. Not to get gifts, but because I want each child to have their own little celebration. I was a middle child (second girl) and didn't get a baby book, or my own room.. or anything of my own. I am determined to keep things more fair with my own! I am doing a belly book again for this babe, he'll have a baby book, and he'll have his own baby celebration!

Dannylion24 · October 2016

Hmmmm, had a shower for my first, nada for my second, small sprinkle (no registry, etc) for my surprise 3rd around 4.5 years later, nothing for 4th (other than a fun mommy day out at a spa with a couple close friends), and I'd decline anything for 5th as well. I'm pretty much on the side of you only get one 'shower,' but I think sip n sees are a fun idea and we always do fairly big baptisms so I've never felt like any of my kiddos were missing out by not getting a party they won't remember.

I guess second or third showers are ok if that's socially acceptable in your friend/family circle, but only if you don't mention a registry or gifts on the invite. If you do it's kinda gift grabby no matter what the sex (opposite or same), but I'd probably still attend. I don't worry too much about these things.

Just my 2 cents.

SnarkasaurusRex · October 2016

I find second showers to be extremely tacky from an etiquette standpoint. The purpose of a shower is to "shower" a first time mother with gifts to prepare for the task of motherhood. Given that this is your second baby, and that your kids will only be 15 months apart, I would see your shower as pretty gift-grabby, even if you say "no gifts" on the invite. (Admittedly, I am a big stickler on etiquette, and while this would personally rub me the wrong way and I would not attend your shower, this may or may not be the case in your social circle.)

I would turn it down completely. My shower with DS was cancelled and never rescheduled due to a family emergency, and I have still turned down a shower for this baby. The people who want to get your gifts will do so, regardless of whether or not you have a shower/sprinkle/etc. If you're really wanting to do something to celebrate the baby, perhaps consider having a "meet the baby" party once your LO is here.

Also, as a sidebar, I would still make a registry...you can set them so that they are not searchable and load that bad boy up with diapers/wipes/etc. so you can get the completion coupon, girl.

Cook3133 · October 2016

As long as moms isn't throwing it I could care less! I love going to showers or any get together and I like getting gifts. No one forces people to go, it's their own choice. I'm on baby #5 and after 4 boys if this is a girl I would gladly except a shower to get girly things (my kids are 6,4,2,1). But I would never ask someone to throw me one. I was given a few for my first and then I got 2 for my 2nd. The 2 for my 2nd was because I had changed jobs and my new employment threw me one and my 2nd shower was thrown from my church because they forgot to throw one for my first. All small get together a though. I still got gifts with all and honestly anything helps and I don't mind new clothes for the babies. The shower isn't for me it's for the baby, just like their birthday party every year.

But bottom line is you have to go with what you feel comfortable with.

Mama5181 · October 2016

Our DD and this LO will be 4 years apart and I don't foresee a shower. I know my church girls will do dinner or something but there's only 6 of them.

I may do a sip and see though for my in laws in Georgia eventually since we don't see them often.

KirstinH88 · October 2016

I agree with @Cook3133. I don't see a problem with showers for every baby. It's for the baby after all. And as long as the mom isn't throwing it herself, then there is obviously someone else out there that feels like this baby should be celebrated.

MWoodside · October 2016

Honestly I think it's super tacky. I had a shower for the first baby only.

Cook3133 · October 2016

I have registered for every baby! But that's because I like to get the packets with samples and coupons the stores give out

mylittleirvz · October 2016

That's exactly why I started one for this one @Cook3133! I made it private so only I can see but I'm putting diapers, wipes, some clothes, and then stuff that I wish I had the first time or replacements of things we loved. It's also acting as my memory so I don't forget things that I need later on!

Gotta get those discounts and freebies where you can!

Cook3133 · November 2016

Oh and don't forget anything left on your target registers you can get I think 15% off after the baby is born! You have a certain amount of time to get it

pammasu0909 · November 2016

I would side eye a friend for having two showers with kids 15 months apart, regardless of the baby's sex. My kids are 15 months apart. I created new registries for #2 so I could get the discount. Some family members found them and purchased off them, which was great but a shower is a gift giving party and to expect gifts again so soon is a bit much.

Maybe a sip and see after the baby is born, or a diaper party, or something like that would be less weird to me.

dam0ne4 · November 2016

Meh - I might side eye a full blown shower for a second kid, but I don't see anything wrong with a sprinkle. I will be excited if someone wants to throw me one (but I don't expect it)

I love any excuse to get together with friends and eat delicious food.

ashleym112 · November 2016

I don't think sprinkles are a bad idea if that's what someone wants. I personally wouldn't make a registry specifically for that, but on my own to get the discounts myself. If someone wants to celebrate every baby, then they should do it whatever way they feel like. I wouldn't mind a sprinkle for this one if someone asked me about it, but I wouldn't expect gifts even if it's a girl this time around. I just think it would be fun to eat and have fun and celebrate another baby.

Knottie1472824625 · November 2016

I like the "sprInkle" idea.

i wasn't wanting a shower for 2nd baby if it was a boy. There were only a few things we would replace since we kept everything. However, now that we know we are having a girl we are having a second shower. I think if hey are different genders then it is okay.

Do what will make you happy and it is a time to celebrate

shaunessa · November 2016

pammasu0909 said:

I would side eye a friend for having two showers with kids 15 months apart, regardless of the baby's sex. My kids are 15 months apart. I created new registries for #2 so I could get the discount. Some family members found them and purchased off them, which was great but a shower is a gift giving party and to expect gifts again so soon is a bit much.

Maybe a sip and see after the baby is born, or a diaper party, or something like that would be less weird to me.

My mom recently went to her best friends daughter's baby shower. I asked her "didn't she just have one and a baby a year ago?". She said "yes, but you know...she's having a girl this time so I guess I'm going to go". I could tell she didn't feel like spending any money, especially because my mom can be quite generous with gifts (she bought her a $100 swing the first time).

So yea, I don't think I agree with having a second baby shower. However, I am going to throw my own Sip N' See to treat my family and friends. I plan to serve mimosas and lots of food. I love hosting and feeding people!

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