Miscarriage Fears

Kairenee · October 2016

So I'm brand new to this place.. But I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant. I had an ultrasound a few days ago, heartbeat is good and all healthy signs. I'm very bonded to my baby already! Which only elevates my fears of losing him or her.

This is my third pregnancy, my other two both ended in miscarriage. My mom and close friends tell me the same thing - not to worry because worrying won't change a thing.

Not helpful!! I know this is all better signs of a healthy pregnancy. I'm nauseous as ever and I'm experiencing strong symptoms (unlike my last two miscarriages).

I guess I'm just interested in REAL stories and experiences. I know I'm never "in the clear" but I'm looking for some reassuring stories that begin like mine, and end well.

andrea0418 · October 2016

Congrats! I had 3 losses last year and I'm now 13+4 weeks pregnant. So far all my scans and tests have been great. Fx you have an healthy uneventful pregnancy.

splsmama2016 · October 2016

Unfortunately, being nauseous isn't necessarily a sign of a healthy pregnancy. I had zero symptoms and had a healthy and uneventful pregnancy.

That being said, trying to remain calm and NOT worry is easier said than done. Take a deep breath and live each day to its fullest, while not stressing yourself out. FX'd for a happy healthy 9 months.

joyful08 · October 2016

I wish I could say you will eventually stop worrying once you reach a certain point but for me that is not the case. I am 25 weeks pregnant after having two miscarriages. I kept thinking that after the "next appointment" or "after the anatomy scan" I will stop worrying so much about losing this baby. The worry and fear is still here and I know it will stay. You just have to go one day at a time and remind yourself that "today I am pregnant and my baby is fine". Each day is a milestone.

SnarkasaurusRex · October 2016

sdLindenberg said:

Unfortunately, being nauseous isn't necessarily a sign of a healthy pregnancy. I had zero symptoms and had a healthy and uneventful pregnancy.

That being said, trying to remain calm and NOT worry is easier said than done. Take a deep breath and live each day to its fullest, while not stressing yourself out. FX'd for a happy healthy 9 months.

Ditto the bolded. Symptoms are not indicative of the health of your pregnancy! I'm only pointing this out because a lot of women experience a lessening in the severity/presence of symptoms as they approach the second trimester, and i don't want you to stress about that. With DS I was sick as all get out the entire time, and with this one my symptoms are so mild that I barely notice them, and everything appears to be going well.

I know that you say people advising you to try not to worry is "not helpful," but it really is the best thing to do. Worrying = stress = not great for you or baby (and I say this as a self-proclaimed worry-wort who obsesses over everything). Find something that helps you destress and takes your mind off of things. I do yoga and knit.

Wishilivedinflorida · October 2016

OP, the PGAL board is very helpful if you're looking for success stories, plus you'll find great support. There is likely also a PGAL check in if you want to join your BMB.

I've had two previous losses around 6-7 weeks and am now 18 weeks with #3. It's natural to worry, especially after having more than one loss. FWIW, my early pregnancy symptoms have been nearly identical all three times. Fx this is your rainbow!

Linsbins · October 2016

Many bmbs have a post pinned to the top that details your chance of having a healthy pregnancy (your chance at 4 weeks, chance at 6 weeks, etc). I have not experienced loss but it was very reassuring to see my chances go up every single day. If I recall correctly, in the ninth week your chance of loss goes down to 2 percent and remains the same for the rest of your pregnancy. You're almost there!

joyful08 · October 2016

I love giving support on something so personal as a miscarriage just to have the op never return. It's the best feeling.

SKZW · October 2016

@joyful08 : I want to reassure you that you really did give some kind and nice advice. We can HOPE that the OP did find encouragement in your words... and if not, then I'm betting others' fears are being helped in reading this page (both now and in the future). You def did the right thing by reaching out and offering support and advice.

I do commiserate with you, though, on not getting a response back: that totally stinks, you're totally right!

AngelleDG · October 2016

I've had 1 (mostly) healthy pregnancy, 4 miscarriages, and I am currently pregnant. I've been where you are and here I am again. Only time will tell but I definitely felt more secure in this one and for my son than all my lost pregnancies. I felt symptoms for all but there's something I can't explain that I felt when I had my successful pregnancy. Keep your head up, it is definitely possible to have a baby after multiple miscarriages.

smallanimal · October 2016

Congratulations!!! Please stop worrying. You have a heartbeat - most mcs happen before heartbeat is detected, and some people even do not count them as Mcs because that pregnancy wasnt even viable for a second if there is no HB. I was like you because I had mcs too, and spent the first trimester as a nervous wreck, now I wish I had worried less - seriously, a heartbeat is a very very very good sign!!!! And do not worry about symptoms or the lack of - everyone is different. I had my boobs deflated and all symptoms gone at 13 weeks, I freaked out - guess what, unnecessarily. Your body is a miraculous thing and now you have a baby in there, with a heartbeat, it's not that easy to miscarry from here!!! Keep positive

momof2buggs · October 2016

joyful08 said:

I wish I could say you will eventually stop worrying once you reach a certain point but for me that is not the case. I am 25 weeks pregnant after having two miscarriages. I kept thinking that after the "next appointment" or "after the anatomy scan" I will stop worrying so much about losing this baby. The worry and fear is still here and I know it will stay. You just have to go one day at a time and remind yourself that "today I am pregnant and my baby is fine". Each day is a milestone.

Exactly. I lost twin boys at 20 weeks, and my next pregnancy was full of fear and anxiety. I kept thinking that once I reached 20 weeks, I'd feel better. When 20 weeks came and went, my fear stayed. It didn't leave at 30 weeks, either. It persisted my entire pregnancy, and even after my baby was born healthy and happy, I checked on him like a mad woman. Once your eyes are opened to the realities of tragedy, I don't think you ever go back to being innocent. You do heal though, and you learn to take each day as it comes, and be thankful for the precious time that you do have with your children. Sometimes there are no answers, and you just have to come to a place of acceptance, and for everyone that looks different, I imagine.

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