Hi y'all! I've been around since my first BFP but haven't been super vocal on this thread so I hope I'm okay to start now!
To be blunt, I have crazy baby fever!!! When we got pregnant, we were super vague on when we would have #2. Then, my husband became convinced that we should try for a 2 year gap, which means we would start trying this December. I thought about it for awhile (since I originally thought 3 years apart would be ideal) and decided I was on board for 2 years. Now, I feel like I'm ready any minute.
Our first was and has been a really great baby. Don't hurt me, but we never really understood what sleep deprivation was since #1 didn't give us too much trouble. I don't want to count on our future babies being so easy but at the moment I can only expect what I already know. However, I have heard and feel this overwhelming feeling that going from 1 to 2 will be harder than going from 0 to 1. Am I wrong? Right? If we got pregnant this month, they would be 22 months apart.
Also, we got pregnant during our first month of trying last time. I wonder whether it will be as easy the next time, and wonder what I can expect.
I think I just would like insight from those of you that have more than 1. What's the age difference and are you happy with it? And did you find the ease of getting pregnant easier, the same, or harder than before?
Re: Moms of 2 or more
I found it was the same getting pregnant the 2nd time. With DD i was off the pill about 2-3 weeks before getting pregnant. With the boys, got off the mirena, next day started my period, 2.5 weeks later pregnant with my boys. Surprised i got pregnant so fast because i had been on the mirena since DD was born so for about 4 yrs and 4 months and only had a period 8-10 times 2 days tops each and it was mostly spotting.
Also, it does get harder & its a big change. You go from caring for 1 to 2 or in my case 3. Your time is divided even more. You have to do more. The biggest challenge for me was leaving the house. I was used to DD getting ready herself, that time management took me a while because i had to get the boys and my self ready, get the diaper bags ready get all 3 of them in the car etc. (Which in your case if tou get pregnant soon shouldnt be a huge difference since you'll still be getting LO ready.)My number 1 reason for not having more kids is giving them each time. Theres times DD wants me to herself which obviously isnt possible if i have 2 babies crawling around seeking my attention as well. It gets harder to give them each individual mommy time and attention. Pregnancy is a little harder too becuase with baby #1 we dont have anyone to be running around after or doig for. With the 2nd+ pregnancy you cant stop caring for your other child even with morning sickness and fatigue you have to keep going.
Not trying to bumb you out but it is a noticeable change. Is it worth it? Of course! Will you get the hang of things? Of course! Will it take time and work! Hell yeah!
Just remember everyone and every baby is different. Somethings might be easier or harder for you than for others. So good luck! And let us know when you have the next bun in the oven.
It was very hard being pregnant with a two year old though. Being sick was not fun but I don't thing at any age it will be easy. Sick is sick.
I loved the 2 year age gap. By the time I was big enough to find carrying DS1 uncomfortable he was much more independent. By the time I had DS2 he could crawl into his car seat by himself and was more easily distracted which was helpful in the early days for nursing/pumping etc. Maybe it isn't the greatest but I could occasionally let him watch a movie or play on my phone and catch up on some sleep since I wasn't getting a ton overnight.
Logistically there are things to figure out but once you get a routine down it really isn't too much more difficult than just caring for one. DH travels for work and I have absolutely no problem doing caring for both on my own while he is gone. There will be some difficult moments with your toddler that are made more so by having a baby to care for like the transition to the big kid bed, dropping naps etc. Schedules can be sometimes tough to figure out but you can make it happen. We have been easily able to get out of the house and do things almost from the start.
My second son is really independent, I think because his brother entertains him a lot. They are really starting to play together now which is amazing to watch
My advice is to get some help set up. I have a sitter come once a week for 2 or 3 hours which is a huge help, DH typically does the majority of our toddlers bedtime routine and then Mommy comes in for hugs and kisses before bed. My mom and Dad spend time with us in some form or another usually once a week just to give me a little extra help or someone to hang out with during the day. I've been able to form some good relationships with other moms for play dates etc.
As far as getting pregnant everyone is different. With DS1 and DS2 we got pregnant on our first cycle of trying. With DS3...well he is our happiest surprise
I agree that whatever works for each family. I had mine 5 years apart and even though it doesnt compare to the extra work you lovely mommas who had them so close in age, it was a challenege. Sometimes still is. So in reality no matter the age differece theirs changes and struggles and benefits..
I potty trained DD1 before DD2 was born. That helped tremendously. DD2 slept through the night since the day she was born and never cried (unlike DD1 who at 7 still doesn't sttn). I love that they're so close now and wouldn't change it for the world!
Good luck!!
After having a 13.5 month gap between my first two and a 17 month gap before #3, I thought the 2-year age gap between #4 and #5 would turn out to be ideal. But in reality, there's quite a bit of #4 trying to physically harm #5.
As far as 2 years apart versus 3, I can't comment because I haven't done a three year gap. #3 and #4 are 6.5 years apart and that's actually pretty cool. But based on my experience I'd tend toward "less of a gap is more".
George (3)
Our first was a very easy baby, good sleeper, good eater, so I keep reminding myself that our next could be the complete opposite! (But crossing my fingers we luck out again!)
Honestly, I am so in love with my little man that I can't imagine having another little one to love - my heart is going to burst!