New here. after post IVF failure (Child mentioned)

Hi everyone. I am relatively new here and did not know how to start my own Discussion. I had started my IVF journey last year. I had past history of two ectopic pregnancies and had lost one tube with the remainin tube blocked. So after going down the checklists of tests at the Clinic where i wasbapplying for a State Grant my doctor said i couldnt start until i removed the tube. So i felt hirrible but went through with it. Then when i thought all hope was gone i heard that i was able to start reapply for the grant this year. It was once again like an emotional ride in a roller coaster first they find a cyst then its gone then another e comes my cycle cancelled and im on bcp which made me feel horrible. RE said my bloodwork show high Fsh levels so he made me increase dosage of BC pills finally i get a cyst Aspiration and stop the pills hoping to get AF before the grants deadline. I started spotting and was able to start. Everything seemed to go fine after the Egg retrieval I started feeling major pain. So results were. Out of 14 eggs 12 retrieved 9 fertilized with Icsi and 5 make it. Then inget a call that they werent ready for my 5 dt so i had to wait one more day if not they were gonna get discarded! I cried my heart out n on day 6 i get the call. When i got to the clinic the  news was that 4 made it but 2 look good and theol other two didnt so i had no Frozen embies.The DH and i were so happy he was convinced i would be preggo. He has a daughter my step daughter but we looked forward to having baby or babies of my own... but 8 dpt i got my period 4 days before beta test. I went to the clinic nd they did an early beta test only to confirm it was negative. I was so depressed and partly happy as my nephew was born the day before my period came down i felt joy and devastation fro my own experience. But right after my poor baby nephew started to suffer complications and needed surgery so my own pain got diminished (hes better now thanks God!) I recently went to the RE and he recommended doing cycle two with higher dosage of Fdrugs. He says the embryologist and him discussed that with higher number of eggs the possibilities of developing more embryos would improfe the chances. The question now is money my insurance wont cover and i have to reapply for the grant. Im hopeful but scared to try the second time around. Anyhow i hope that wherever you are in your journeys you can find success and not feelbas stressed as i have been. I pray for all of you out there TTC. Sorry for the long intro...lol