Moms with Toddlers - 10.17.16

jennbaylor12 · October 2016

How've you been doing balancing a toddler(s) and your pregnancy this past week?

"They" say second babies often arrive earlier and faster than the first - do you think you'll make it to your due date this go-around?:

Rants/Raves/Questions:

Anything you want to add/share?:

Bonus question: If you go to a coffee shop, what's your drink of choice (doesn't necessarily have to be coffee)?

slartybartfast · October 2016

1- I think I'm doing ok with my toddler. He's feelin all the mama love and learning so many new things. We've also had some successful behavioral lessons like sharing that went well. There are more toddler fits being thrown into the mix but dh and I I think are fielding those effectively too. They generally happen at home and we don't give them the time of day. We let the fit pass (usually a minute or two) and then try to get at the real issue (tired or hungry or over stimulated has been the answer 100% of the time so far)

2- nope - DS came a week early and I'm actually mentally counting down to 39

3- of course I'm counting down to birth... trying to hang on til then - but then I have to recover form that and I'm starting to feel like shit. I need a break. I need to feel good and able. That's not gonna come any time soon. And what's more, while I feel like I need some space, rest, and my body to be mine and healed... I love DS too much and having any sort of personal get away or something doesn't actually sound like what I want . Pppttththhthhrt

coffee shop- decaf coffee 99% of the time. Sometimes I'll put in a little regular. The other times it's skim decaf spicy chai

Christinaruth74 · October 2016

How've you been doing balancing a toddler(s) and your pregnancy this past week?

Ive been nursing a pretty ugly cold this week, so parenting has been sub-par at best

"They" say second babies often arrive earlier and faster than the first - do you think you'll make it to your due date this go-around?:

I was 10 days late with DD1 and even then my body didn't labor on its own. This time I will be having a RCS, so by that theory I think I should be in the clear! It's super relieving to know there's a definitive end in sight.

Rants/Raves/Questions:

toddler tantrums have been rearing their head here,as well. I tend to be a little more patient with them because I am with her all day... I know what prolongs them, what causes them, what stops them, etc. DH is a little less patient and tends to add fuel to the fire, so we've been working on that. She's just super emotional and dramatic lately and half the time has no clue why she's crying.
my rave is that she has been doing so well with her manners and Ive been soooo proud of her especially this week! I told her she looked beautiful the other day and she said, "thank youuuu!" Then, after crossing in front of a car in a parking lot, we waved to say thank you and she enthusiastically was yelling, "thanks guys!" (Everyone is "guys"). The woman wound up getting out of the car to tell us that she had had an awful day but that one small gesture totally turned her attitude around. I wanted to cry. Ok, maybe I did a little.

Anything you want to add/share?:

um, apart from buying this new kid loads of clothes, I've done literally nothing to prepare. Nothing.

Bonus question: If you go to a coffee shop, what's your drink of choice (doesn't necessarily have to be coffee)?

if I'm swinging through Starbucks I get a Grande Iced Coffee in a Venti cup with 4 pumps Pumpkin and extra Whole Milk. Yummm

happygirl1013 · October 2016

How've you been doing balancing a toddler(s) and your pregnancy this past week? We have finally been asking for more help-- babysitters and family. It's been a huge relief. I just can't lift and do as much as I did before, so it's awesome to have some extra hands. I'm nervous that between working, managing my toddler alone while my husband is on work travel, and keeping up with the house, that if I didn't ask for help I'd go into premature labor, which I really don't want!

"They" say second babies often arrive earlier and faster than the first - do you think you'll make it to your due date this go-around?: I really hope so- I want this baby to bake as long as possible!

Rants/Raves/Questions: Gestational diabetes is the pits!

Anything you want to add/share?: Why is it that people act like they have a PhD in gender studies? So many people around me keep telling me how different boys are than girls (our toddler is a girl, the new arrival is a boy). Isn't every child just unique and different in their own way?

Bonus question: If you go to a coffee shop, what's your drink of choice (doesn't necessarily have to be coffee)? Hot chocolate (if I didn't have GD!)

jennbaylor12 · October 2016

How've you been doing balancing a toddler(s) and your pregnancy this past week?
This was my first week back to work, plus my FIL was in town for the entire week, so it was an unusual week. DH has DS by himself all week and I have him by myself all weekend, so we're all adjusting. Overall it was good :-)

"They" say second babies often arrive earlier and faster than the first - do you think you'll make it to your due date this go-around?:
I'm scheduled for a RCS at 39wks, DH doesn't think I'll make it past 36-37wks.... we shall see!

Rants/Raves/Questions:

Anything you want to add/share?:

Bonus question: If you go to a coffee shop, what's your drink of choice (doesn't necessarily have to be coffee)?
It really depends.... at home/work I drink my coffee black. If I'm getting it out I'll get a mocha poor or I really love salted caramel mochas, yum!

sourlemon · October 2016

How've you been doing balancing a toddler(s) and your pregnancy this past week?
I still need improvement. DD is really smart...but she uses the smartness to push every single button. But we did manage to keep her alive and taught her to count to 10 in spanish and 5 in German. So yay we did something. She spends far too much time on the iPad though...so much that she knows how to do everything. Better than I do. Except put in the pass code. She has only learned 3 of the 4 numbers so far.

"They" say second babies often arrive earlier and faster than the first - do you think you'll make it to your due date this go-around?:
I'm hoping to make it to November 1 without anymore complications or hospital visits. I have my RCS planned for Dec 5 but I'm not sure, given current circumstances, I'll make it. Come thanksgiving I plan to start scrubbing baseboards, doing squats, anything to get this kid out so I stop stressing so much.

Rants/Raves/Questions:
How much iPad time is too much? She's 27 months. Any advice on cutting her back? I think we are past reasonable.

Anything you want to add/share?:
she's now daytime potty trained aside from the occasional accident. Thank goodness. We also installed battery powered lights and a switch in the hall by her room to start encouraging night time potty trips. She's afraid to get out of bed though. But she stays dry about half the time so I can't complain (she wears a pull up). I just hope she doesn't regress when the baby is born.

Bonus question: If you go to a coffee shop, what's your drink of choice (doesn't necessarily have to be coffee)?
coffee. With cream and sugar. But not too much. It's a delicate balance. Also in the last 3 weeks I've had 2 caramel machiato something something (DH's drink) and I don't hate it. I used to so I'm thinking maybe the sugar is appealing this pregnancy when usually it makes me sick.

slartybartfast · October 2016

@sourlemon - I don't know how much iPad is too much iPad but in our home, I'm currently feeling like screens are in our faces too much. We keep it minimal around DS but I asked dh if we could do a screen free weekend - no tv phone computer iPad - and he agreed.

something that extreme may not fit the bill for you but one suggestion for backing off the iPad with your daughter is maybe just get the iPad out of the picture for a while. Stick it up in a closet. I'm sure you may still have to weather a fit or two but maybe out of sight out of mind will eventually happen... and if "not now" is too tedious, invites too much push and pull when she asks for it, you can just shrug? It's just gone for now I guess?

jennbaylor12 · October 2016

@sourlemon - I totally get it, screen time is everywhere! We felt like it was getting to be too much so we committed that whether week day or weekend, no screen time at all before 5p at the earliest - on good days we push past that as long as possible, on difficult days we give ourselves that break starting then (DS is 30mths and either DH or I are home with him every day). When we first cut back, I told him the t.v. was broken (bc technically it was, we were cutting off cable and changing services and had none for a couple days) and he Loved Daniel Tiger and that's right when Netflix took it off so I told him Daniel went bye bye. I made a point to have extra distracting activities available at peek t.v. times and after only 2 or 3 days, he quit asking. Now if he asks in the morning we tell him he knows there's no tv or movies until after nap and suggest something else to do and he pretty much just moves on. It really helped having a schedule - he knows when he's allowed and when not, just like he knows when is nap, dinner, bath and bed. You could try the setting windows of time that work for your family with the tablet. We don't let DS use phones or tablets yet, except for Skyping with whichever parent is at work and the parent that is at home sets that up.

SmashJam · October 2016

@sourlemon we don't do iPad yet as my lil nugget is too young. HOWEVER I definitely share a screen time concern but with the TV. @jennbaylor12 your suggestions might really work for us...DS is a little too young to flip out if we don't turn on the TV, but if we don't start setting boundaries for ourselves now about when to turn the TV on we might really be in trouble later!

How've you been doing balancing a toddler(s) and your pregnancy this past week? pretty ok...DS had pink eye last week and was out one day which resulted in me having a pregnancy related fight with DH about how we will handle sick days with DS leading up to my last days in June. I have 1.5 sick days left for the ENTIRE YEAR and after Nov. 8 I wont have any personal days...which means any time i take off is unpaid leave. He said he was ok with me taking unpaid leave over him taking off work because I wouldn't be working after this year. The feminist in me was like, no that's not ok. But I was just being irrational..I don't even like my job and monetarily, if we can do it, then it does make more sense for me. End rant!

"They" say second babies often arrive earlier and faster than the first - do you think you'll make it to your due date this go-around?: Before the weekend I would have said no, but this weekend I had to cover for DH doing some final yard work on teh old house-I was hauling and cleaning and lifting for the entire day-and I didn't even get so much as extra BH! It reminded me that I used to take two mile walks when I was 40 weeks to try and get labor started and I still had to get induced. So long story short...I will probably go over. Yay.

Bonus question: If you go to a coffee shop, what's your drink of choice (doesn't necessarily have to be coffee)? Usually just straight up coffee, but I do love these maple espressos (decaf nowadays) they serve at the local place. Not a starbucks around so I can''t enjoy that really, but when we went to OH a few weeks back I got a salted caramel mocha, and it was GLORIOUS.

sourlemon · October 2016

We probably screwed the pooch since birth with DD...there is always a TV on in the house. Usually its on the news. So DD is super used to always having something on. Now its to the point that when she wakes up, she knows DH and I are getting ready for work and getting her stuff ready, that she asks to watch TV. We have been giving in because she's waking up earlier than we used to wake her up, so we arent ready for her. It sounds bad. But she will sit on the couch and drink her milk and DH and I can finish getting ready.

Then she's in daycare all day and we noticed when we get home she is kind of...overwhelmed/overstimulated. If we try to do an activity with her, no matter what it is, she gets frustrated almost immediately and throws a fit. The rest of the evening is usually a disaster. So we started letting her "chill out" with one episode of something before the activity and that helped a lot. But by dinner time, she is just done. So the TV is back out (or iPad).

Its a problem in our whole family. DH and I both want to chill out after work too, so the screens come out. Then usually I cook dinner and DH is on his phone or doing homework while "watching" DD. Ive tried to implement black out times and DH usually breaks it "for homework". But once DD sees him on the phone or computer, she wants the iPad. Hiding it hasnt worked, she will search the house for hours looking for it. We have told her its sleeping and she goes to get the charging cable! Im really hoping to change our whole family's behavior in this regard because its horrible. Its just hard to get DH on board while he's still in school. Luckily he's done in December and has already ruled out going for his PhD because his masters has been ridiculous! So maybe we can do it.

washyourhandsplease · October 2016

How've you been doing balancing a toddler(s) and your pregnancy this past week? - I'm supposed to be on bed rest so I'm trying to take it slow and do less. My OB said that if my cervix shortens any more she is going to put me in the hospital. I want to stay home as long as possible, so I given up on doing a lot of things that I would do even while I was on bedrest. My husband has picked up the slack along with my mom and sisters. My sisters or mom will do the grocery shopping. My husband takes and picks up the kids from daycare.

"They" say second babies often arrive earlier and faster than the first - do you think you'll make it to your due date this go-around?: My first baby, I was induced at 38 weeks at around 9 am. I had him at 2:21 pm. I pushed for 1 1/2 hours and had an epidural. My second baby, I was induced (35 weeks) the night before (10 pm) with pitocin due to HELLP syndrome. However, I never felt any contractions with the pitocin until they broke my water the next morning around 7 am. After that I dilated from 2 cm to 10 cm pretty quickly and had baby number two at 7:58 am with maybe 5 minutes of pushing. No epidural. I'm hoping to make it to 38 weeks. Ideally I want to have this baby the week after Thanksgiving if I have to be induced.

Rants/Raves/Questions: My 2 year old is very clingy to me all of a sudden. He has been a daddy's boy since about 6 months. Now he wants to be near me all the time. If I go to the restroom, he wants to follow me in there and if I lock him out he screams at the door until I come out. My one year old has always been a mama's boy, so I can never really get away from him. Lol

Anything you want to add/share?:

Bonus question: If you go to a coffee shop, what's your drink of choice (doesn't necessarily have to be coffee)? I will get a vanilla blonde roast coffee or just a black coffee no cream or sugar. I also love their fall/winter flavors. Such as the Salted Caramel Mocha in either a frap or a latte.

washyourhandsplease · October 2016

@happygirl1013 - GD does suck! I had GD last year with my son. I didn't get it until 30 weeks though and him at 35 weeks. Luckily, I don't have it this time around. Trying to remember to eat every 2 -3 hours and then poking myself four times a day just felt it was so time consuming. Every time I had to take my blood sugar, it would take me at least 30 minutes to muster of the courage to poke myself. But it was all worth it in the end.

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