UO 10/13

emy730 · October 2016

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/zr/i53dtz3o9fhh.jpg

Sorry, this meme just makes me laugh out loud and I had to share it!

cjs260 · October 2016

I hate Walmart with every ounce of my being and will only go in there if I have been to several other stores and no one has what I need.

therealfrizzle · October 2016

I hate flaunting my baby bump. DH and I went to the first show of the season at the performance arts center and asked a stranger to get some pics since we were all gussied, which rarely happens. I posed how I usually do and she made me repose to "emphasize" my bump. I love that I finally have one, but please don't make me purposely pose to show it off. I don't like showing off my body. I have certain poses I know I look good doing and arms under or all over my bump just is not me and I look visibly uncomfortable. Plus, my bump isn't very noticeable unless it's from a certain angle and the poses she insisted on doing hid my bump. DH took a much better one accidentally LOL.

nolemama24 · October 2016

@cjs260 meeee too!!!!!! The Walmarts in FL are SKETCH central. I have had some really inappropriate things happen to me there. (As in men following me around and saying gross things) I rather just avoid.

sagoon · October 2016

I don't think parenting is as hard as a lot of people online make it out to be. There is this self-imposed stereotype that being a mom is this exhausting, never ending grind that is only made tolerable by copious amounts of coffee and wine. My UO is that I think parenting is only as difficult as you make it. I mean, sure there are days when it is really hard, but I think people make things difficult for themselves for no real reason. I read mommy articles where moms bemoan the 45 minutes it took them to pick out just the right organic, non-GMO vitamins for their kid and how expensive they are and I', like, just go buy Flintstones. Or, moms who are all 'oh, I haven't even showered in days it's so crazy around here!' and I'm like, surely there was ten minutes somewhere in the last 72 hours when you could have showered. I feel like it is part of the culture of business we, as a society, impose upon ourselves. Everyone makes this show of being so so so busy all the time, thank god for coffee and wine, amiright?

Also, I , too, hate Walmart and will only go there as a last resort.

nolemomma14 · October 2016

I don't understand people who decide not to evacuate during hurricanes when they are under mandatory evacuations. Living in FL it's not something I want to mess with. I've been through tropical storms that have caused quite a bit of damage, I can't imagine the people who are dealing with the aftermath of hurricane Matthew.

Its very hard to leave your home not knowing what you will come back to, but better safe than sorry! People who have to live through tornados would love to have the amount of warning time we get for hurricanes, so why not listen when they tell you to get out!

azwildcat62 · October 2016

@cjs260 I don't think this is unpopular. I'm on the same page. I had to go there a couple weeks ago & was ALMOST hit by an idiot backing out of his spot in the parking lot. It's always an "interesting" experience there...

ThePax89 · October 2016

@cjs260 Walmart makes me hate my life when I'm there. There was a shooting at our local Walmart...it was a subway sandwich dispute.

ThePax89 · October 2016

I practically have to choke back vomit when people call their BF/fiancé/husband "my man"

therealfrizzle · October 2016

I'll jump on the Wal-Mart hating band wagon, but I gotta give my Neighborhood Wal-Mart props. I practically live there; it's less than a mile from home, open 24 hours (yay for cravings!), and since it's only a year old, still nice. But you won't catch me dead in a regular Wal-Mart unless it's absolutely, positively my last source.

christac1010 · October 2016

I worked for Target for almost 7 years so I think I'm obligated to hate Walmart.

There's one in my town and they had to cut the hours, because honestly, I think the police were sick of being there. And I don't live in a bad town at all! I only had the cops at my store maybe twice a month for shoplifters. For me, it's not a matter of being gross or sad or weird. It's actually dangerous.

ThePax89 · October 2016

@sagoon oh man. I think parenting is soooooo much harder than anything I ever imagined it would be. The memes do it justice, but holy shit. It is rough. Not because it's a choice, because sleep deprivation is actual torture.

katesmama0706 · October 2016

@sagoon I totally agree. Some days I'm like "omg save me" but for the most part it's not anywhere near as hard as people act like it is! We sleep, eat food when it's hot, shower regularly. Idk. Laundry piles up but am I literally dying every single day? Nope.

Idk what's up with your guy's Wal-Marts though. As far as I know nobody has ever been shot at ours, nobody ever follows me or hits on me, and it's clean and well-lit. I'd rather go to Target but I don't avoid our Wal-Mart by any means.

canavara · October 2016

@sagoon I really appreciate that opinion (yours, not the "it's impossibly hard")! I know it's hard but I get really tired when I hear people whining about it in a very public venue. There's some buzzfeed-sponsored series on Youtube of some lady that calls herself the "wine mom" or something like that and she kind of drives me insane and other people love her because she's so bitchy and snarky and negative. I'm sure there are going to be days where my kid drives me insane and I want to pack my bags and catch the next flight to Spain, but that's a private conversation between me and my best friend, not something I'm airing on Youtube or wherever.

@thepax89 Ahaha "my man" reminds me of some woman that was trying to get me to sublet her apartment in Texas and kept referring to my then-boyfriend as "your hunnybuns" in a very serious manner, like, "And this closet would be perfect for when your hunnybuns comes over and needs a place to put his things." I think she said it like 15 times before I left and even though I wasn't even interested in the apartment after being in there for 2 minutes, I stuck around for an additional 20 just to see how high the "hunnybuns" count would go.

emy730 · October 2016

ThePax89 said:

@cjs260 Walmart makes me hate my life when I'm there. There was a shooting at our local Walmart...it was a subway sandwich dispute.

I'm an asshole for laughing out loud at this...

emy730 · October 2016

@sagoon I somewhat agree and somewhat disagree. There are days where I'm totally like, "I have this whole Mom thing down!" but those are usually followed by several days where I want to wave my white flag and admit defeat. I also realize that I have a pretty easy kid who is luckily a great sleeper. When she went through regressions, yeah, those were the times that I was ready to give up and run away.

emy730 · October 2016

I hate when women who've had easy pregnancies make comments like, "You're pregnant, not dead!" or some other nonsense. I just want to respond, "Bitch, when you're puking daily for months on end, trust me, you feel like you just might be dying!"

Or when I tell someone that we are done having kids after this little guy arrives, and they respond with, "Oh okay, that's what everyone says..." and give a snide little look. Ummm... nope. Pretty sure that H will be scheduling his vasectomy soon after the birth of this one. And I might just get a tubal ligation to fully seal the deal.

LoneStar21416 · October 2016

cjs260 said:

I hate Walmart with every ounce of my being and will only go in there if I have been to several other stores and no one has what I need.

Couldn't agree more. I've literally never made a purchase there.

ThePax89 · October 2016

I can't stand when people try to make toddler's art "mean something" or represent an object. FFS just let the kid experiment with materials and enjoy the process without objectifying her/his abstract marks as hearts or flowers.

Oh. And stop assuming my daughter only likes to color with pink and purple markers.

stumptownmama · October 2016

@ThePax89 My DD is entering the stage where she will tell me what she has made and it's so adorable. The other day she made playdough elephant and pig. they were just round blobs but the cutest things I had ever seen. I love letting her experiment and do her thing.

And agree with pink and purple. And stop offering my daughter princess stickers!

ThePax89 · October 2016

@underthesea omg yes! At gymnastics, the teachers were giving kids either cars or princess stamps based on their sex. I was so proud of my daughter who said "no princess, car!"

stumptownmama · October 2016

@ThePax89 eww. That's awful!! My daughter does not know the Disney princesses at all. She would be thrilled with a fire engine or frog.

mommy2ane · October 2016

@underthesea & @ThePax89 I let my 2yo son help pick out clothes for the baby. At first, he was super insistent that she wear pink and purple. I told him that she can wear whatever colors she wants, including blue and orange (I was looking at a cute blue and orange dress). Now, he's all about having her wear pink, purple, blue and orange... it's progress?

It's been interesting delving into the world of little girls! It feels like there isn't a whole lot that isn't pink or floral and it drives me a little bonkers.

ThePax89 · October 2016

@vgempis I buy a lot from the boys section. My daughter is fortunate to get a lot of very girly hand me downs and gifts. When I need to fill in the gaps, I go for clothing which will work for all future kids.

ThePax89 · October 2016

whoops. Double post

stumptownmama · October 2016

@vgempis I hear ya. I'm totally not a pink and purple, princess and cutesy sayings girl. That eliminates a lot. I do find lots of cute things at old navy, target and H&M. And I'm not afraid to buy boy's clothes. They have way better flannel shirts than the girl's section.

ThePax89 · October 2016

^ yes to flannels. And I only buy "boy" pajamas.

Its starting to get weird because my daughter LOVES purple, dolls, dress up, and all that jazz. I packed up her train set which she never (not once) played with. I'm at least feeling confident that she likes "girly" crap because she chose it. I definitely didn't.

mjschenk · October 2016

Although they always have better holiday options for the girls I went to get a Halloween shirt for LO from target they had one option for boys I was kinda annoyed ended up buying a pj set instead.

karaelaine1991 · October 2016

Lol, guess I'm the odd one out here - I love dressing DD in girly clothes, I love that she loves princesses and tutus, and I have zero problem with pink or purple. I also love that she's just as happy to play with cars, trucks, and trains as she is to play with her dolly. Nothing wrong with gender neutral - but I also don't think there's anything wrong with encouraging her to embrace her feminine side.

I'm also definitely not anti walmart. I'm not a huge fan of the atmosphere - we have our fair share of uneducated rednecks at the one near our house, but after living 30 minutes from one for two years, I am SO happy to have my one-stop affordable store only 10-15 minutes away. I'm all about convenience, and while walmart is certainly flawed, in my experience it's usually super convenient.

AshleySparkle720 · October 2016

We have one nice Walmart in my area. Most other ones I've been in are suuuuuuuper sketchy!

mommy2ane · October 2016

We're definintely using a bunch of my son's old clothes for her, especially the jeans, shirts and pjs. I'm not against pink or purple by any means. I just get overwhelmed by the amount of it in the girls' section. I think it's just the shift! I'm sure she'll be happy just playing with her brother's toys and I'm just going to encourage them to play with what they like.

Btw, I love Target!!!! I'm not a huge fan of Walmart. The atmosphere isn't the best and it tends to be sketchy. I'll go if I need to, but it's rarely my first choice. I can spend hours at Target though!

ElleMF728 · October 2016

mjschenk said:

Although they always have better holiday options for the girls I went to get a Halloween shirt for LO from target they had one option for boys I was kinda annoyed ended up buying a pj set instead.

I went to buy fourth of July shirts for my boys and while there was an entire section of dresses, leggings and shirts for girls there was literally 3 T-shirts to choose from for my little guys. Three. I've started doing most of my shopping for them online because I get so annoyed at actual stores.

emy730 · October 2016

I don't mind Wal-Mart most of the time (ours is pretty low key and is always clean and orderly), but why is Target so much more relaxing? Seriously. I feel great after leaving Target, but after I leave Wal-Mart, I usually feel kind of stressed out.

ashanne88 · October 2016

ElleMF728 said:

mjschenk said:

Although they always have better holiday options for the girls I went to get a Halloween shirt for LO from target they had one option for boys I was kinda annoyed ended up buying a pj set instead.

I went to buy fourth of July shirts for my boys and while there was an entire section of dresses, leggings and shirts for girls there was literally 3 T-shirts to choose from for my little guys. Three. I've started doing most of my shopping for them online because I get so annoyed at actual stores.

Yep, I always run into this problem too it's extrememly annoying. I buy a lot of DS's clothes from Carters online now.

Teach123 · October 2016

I was just looking for some footed sleepers for the baby, and there were 2 to choose from at my local Walmart, and they were on the ONLY rack of boy baby clothes in the store. There were racks and racks of clothes for baby girls.

canavara · October 2016

I didn't want to dump this into the symptoms thread earlier because it's super opinionated and obviously based on my experience an "unpopular opinion." I was in L&D triage this morning and during that time, 2 different doctors come in. Each one rolls through a list of basic questions and they get to the section about "Do you smoke, drink alcohol, or do drugs?" I respond truthfully, "Yes, I occasionally do drink a glass of wine, never more than a glass a week, however."

The first doctor, it was like a switch flipped and she went from treating me like a normal human being to treating me like I was an idiot.

"No I mean during pregnancy"
"Yes, during my pregnancy."
"You do know that wine has alcohol in it right?"
"Yes, that's why I mentioned it in response to your question about alcohol."
"You do know that alcohol causes fetal alcohol syndrome, right?"
"I understand that it is a very divisive issue and have discussed this with my regular OB who is seemingly okay with my infrequent consumption of 1 glass of wine."
At this point, my fiancee is stepping in, "Also, she did not have any alcohol whatsoever in the first trimester or well into the second trimester."
And I back that up with, "Right, I completely abstained from alcohol during the major neurological development of this child. I know some people still drink infrequently in the first trimester but I wasn't confident enough to risk it that much."
"No, ANY alcohol causes fetal alcohol syndrome. All it takes is 1 drink."
"If you can show me any research whatsoever that backs up that claim, I'll happily discuss this with you further, but everything I have read says that there is no research correlating small amounts with FAS and any positive correlation was with drinking more than moderate amounts..."
"You do know that you are harming your baby, right?"

It's a super divisive issue, I get it. But you don't lay into someone in L&D triage and if it's obvious they disagree with you and even if you feel like the patient is wrong, laying into them with fallacious fear-mongering blanket statements is so insulting to a patient's intelligence, especially if you're going to claim that anyone who has ever had any alcohol during their pregnancy went on to have a child with FAS. That just reeks of being 13 years old and having your parents tell you that some distant relative of yours smoked pot one time and became paralyzed from the neck down or something clearly made up.

The second doctor that came in did the exact same thing.

My fiancee goes to the doctor with me all the time (like even routine boring appointments that aren't for the OB because I just like having someone with me when I go to the doctor) and he's commented so many times how doctors talk down so much to women and he can't get over how different it is from how doctors talk to him. I don't get why they can't just give real, factual information to support claims.

karaelaine1991 · October 2016

canavara said:

I didn't want to dump this into the symptoms thread earlier because it's super opinionated and obviously based on my experience an "unpopular opinion." I was in L&D triage this morning and during that time, 2 different doctors come in. Each one rolls through a list of basic questions and they get to the section about "Do you smoke, drink alcohol, or do drugs?" I respond truthfully, "Yes, I occasionally do drink a glass of wine, never more than a glass a week, however."

The first doctor, it was like a switch flipped and she went from treating me like a normal human being to treating me like I was an idiot.

"No I mean during pregnancy"
"Yes, during my pregnancy."
"You do know that wine has alcohol in it right?"
"Yes, that's why I mentioned it in response to your question about alcohol."
"You do know that alcohol causes fetal alcohol syndrome, right?"
"I understand that it is a very divisive issue and have discussed this with my regular OB who is seemingly okay with my infrequent consumption of 1 glass of wine."
At this point, my fiancee is stepping in, "Also, she did not have any alcohol whatsoever in the first trimester or well into the second trimester."
And I back that up with, "Right, I completely abstained from alcohol during the major neurological development of this child. I know some people still drink infrequently in the first trimester but I wasn't confident enough to risk it that much."
"No, ANY alcohol causes fetal alcohol syndrome. All it takes is 1 drink."
"If you can show me any research whatsoever that backs up that claim, I'll happily discuss this with you further, but everything I have read says that there is no research correlating small amounts with FAS and any positive correlation was with drinking more than moderate amounts..."
"You do know that you are harming your baby, right?"

It's a super divisive issue, I get it. But you don't lay into someone in L&D triage and if it's obvious they disagree with you and even if you feel like the patient is wrong, laying into them with fallacious fear-mongering blanket statements is so insulting to a patient's intelligence, especially if you're going to claim that anyone who has ever had any alcohol during their pregnancy went on to have a child with FAS. That just reeks of being 13 years old and having your parents tell you that some distant relative of yours smoked pot one time and became paralyzed from the neck down or something clearly made up.

The second doctor that came in did the exact same thing.

My fiancee goes to the doctor with me all the time (like even routine boring appointments that aren't for the OB because I just like having someone with me when I go to the doctor) and he's commented so many times how doctors talk down so much to women and he can't get over how different it is from how doctors talk to him. I don't get why they can't just give real, factual information to support claims.

Ugh, sorry this happened

I haven't had any alcohol since becoming pregnant just because I don't drink it much anyway, but it sounds like you've done a lot of research and if you have your OB's blessing, why not? Those doctors you saw today sound obnoxious.

canavara · October 2016

@karaelaine1991 Right? I know it's something not everyone agrees on and not everyone feels comfortable with, and that's cool, but these doctors just seemed excessively belaboring. It's fine that they expressed their initial opinion--I would expect that from a doctor if they felt strongly about anything--but that shouldn't interfere how they continue to conduct their treatment of a patient unrelated to that opinion.

rdh33 · October 2016

@canavara Whoa. Talk about overkill. I had a good chat about this a while ago with one of my best friends, who's a physican. She said (and I know you know this) that basically because they don't have research on what the limit is, doctors "have" to say to avoid all alcohol. But... she also told me that a glass here and there is fine. I've attempted to have a glass of wine twice but it made me throw up so I gave up and decided to just wait until he's out.

I'm sorry that happened to you. How frustrating! There are few things more annoying than dealing with a condescending person trying to make you feel small or like an idiot.

Also, I hope everything is okay, given the fact that you had to go to L&D today!

kashock-2 · October 2016

@canavara that's insane.

newyearsbaby5 · October 2016

@canavara so sorry you had to deal with that. I think it's horribly uncool when doctors give their opinion when it's not asked for. I understand some people go into pregnancy knowing nothing (like the girl on this thread scared of the clowns), but for people who know the research and have done their due dilligence, what's an opinion when you know the data?

My OBs made me feel like the worst person in the entire world for traveling to Costa Rica when TTC (even though we weren't exactly trying then cause we wanted to enjoy vacay... go figure that's when I got knocked up). It was added to the Zika list the week we went on our trip. Kind of like what they're doing to you--fear of the unknown. I had to wait over a month for my blood test results when they lectured me. I didn't even see a mosquito in Costa Rica, but they messed with my mind and made me feel like bad person.

Glad everything checked out okay at L&D!

UO 10/13

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