I don't think the world should stop because I'm pregnant. Like, why would I cancel Christmas for everyone else just because I'm having a baby? I get scaling back at your own house, and limiting travel/visits, but yeah..life goes on.
I don't think the world should stop because I'm pregnant. Like, why would I cancel Christmas for everyone else just because I'm having a baby? I get scaling back at your own house, and limiting travel/visits, but yeah..life goes on.
TRUTH. yea having a baby is a huge thing and I think it gets people super stressed out and wanting to plan for every contingency. But... if you think you can map out how everyone around you should behave and exactly how you will want things to go... you're in for a rude awakening. Children are, themselves, a Force Majeure. Newborns aren't the end of it. Children love ruining the best laid plans. Guess what, next year your family may be doing Christmas and you're planning to go and then baby gets a stomach bug and is barfing everywhere. Or you are simply trying to make it to a birthday party but after a blowout in the car, you realize that by the time you leave, there'll be like 20 minutes left. Yea you have to cancel. Maybe you're too wrecked for something this year after birth. So cancel! It's not ideal but that's life. That's having kids. Put down the pen. Pick up a pencil. If there's something going on you may want to be a part of say "we're gonna try to make it!" If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. This UO does not include circumstances where there are complicated family relationships and emotions wrapped into those. That's totally different.
Argh!!! I've had a cold for about a week, but dealing with it, I've been functioning just like I always do and getting sh*t done. I tried so hard to prevent DH from getting the cold in our house, but it happened. He is sick. WHY? Why is it that men cannot handle having a cold without acting like their world is ending??? We ran out of good decongestant 2 days ago, and this morning he has a fit about why I didn't go get some yesterday. Even though I was babysitting 2 kids, plus taking care of our kids, and house, and making meals for everyone, oh and I'm 31 weeks pregnant and have the SAME cold that he does but not taking any medication and I'm not turning into a whiny baby. But when I got sick, did he do anything for me? No! I took care of myself, I made my own soup and tea.
Men just need to get over it. Especially mine. It's a cold, you aren't barfing, you don't have a fever, you aren't even coughing. A little congestion no reason to freak out. Get. Over. It.
Tell me that I'm not the only one with a DH who turns into a 2 year old when he has a cold...
My UO is I hate how people with kids, love to tell people who are about to have kids, just how awful it is. I'm sure they're trying to "help", or just be "truthful". But I'm not really sure how telling someone who's already a bit freaked out about becoming a parent how they "will never sleep again", or that their "life is pretty much over....oh but it's so worth it!" helps at all. I'm aware that parenting isn't exactly glamorous...I just don't see how telling soon to be parents every negative thing helps anyone. I mean, how do you know that that particular kid is going to be a shitty sleeper? Because yours was? Or your sister's was? Maybe my children will be awesome sleepers, you don't know. Or how do you know that being parents means that couple will fight all the time, and that the kid will be the only thing that matters, and their marriage will suffer because of it? Maybe we'll be rock star parents, and figure out a way to make it work. Just because something happened to you, or your sister, or your friend, doesn't mean it'll automatically happen to every single parent.
Can you tell I'm tired of hearing how awful my life is going to be now that I'm having babies? Ugh.
@brittnic86 I have gotten that from people with kids AND from people who don't have kids, and don't even plan on having them. I get the "this is what you're in for" advice from friends with kids, but luckily some of mine are also like, "Just cos I have a spawn doesn't mean that your kid won't be great at sleeping through the night, eating well, not being fussy, etc."
So, I mainly get annoyed from those WITHOUT kids who think having kids just ruins your life. This was mainly from some coworkers, who are much younger than me. I would always say, "I'm in my mid-30's... I've been there and done that for A LOT of things in life. Having a kid is not going to ruin me, nor will it stop me from doing stuff. Yes, I won't be able to just do whatever I want... but that is OK. Again, I've been there and done that. Now, I will just have to plan and that is totally OK."
Me: 37 years old
DH: 39 years old
Married: October 17, 2014 TTC Since: November 2015 BFP: March 31, 2016 DS: November 21, 2016
December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**
@Kacie209 oh and you think it's bad when you're having one kid? Try having twins. I'm already freaked out enough, thanks. Or how people assume because you don't have kids yet, that you're absolutely clueless about babies? I may just now be having my first children, but that doesn't mean I've never been around them, or that I'm so clueless that I don't know how a diaper works.
@yellingbanana preach! My DH is the same way. It is beyond annoying
@slartybartfast DH and I actually got into an argument about this last night. We were discussing holiday plans and I said hopefully we will be able to make everything as usual but we will just see how it goes when the time comes. He doesn't see a reason to miss the 5-10 parties we usually go to around the holidays even if we have a brand new baby or I don't feel up to it.
@brittnic86 those people suck, it should be nothing but congrats and happiness. Yes, your life will change, but I'm sure you expect that. It will change in so many beautiful ways, there is no describing it. Just try to roll with it, and enjoy even the poopy moments.
And no, you're not the only one with a husband who turns into a 2 year old when they get sick. I think that's a given lol. Mine acts like he's dying...and when I'm sick he'll ask me what's for dinner lol.
@brittnic86 the people who have shitty things to say have a shitty outlook on life. Sure, you'll get less sleep - I don't think that's a big surprise. Sure, you have less time for you - that's pretty much the building block of good parenting, being selfless. I can tell you that the time spent with my son, and the time we all spend as a family are the absolute best moments of my life... without question. It will not be butterflies and rainbows all of the time - I've yet to find anything that is. Those who feel compelled to warn you probably have some bigger deamons. It's a hard job, but it's the best job in the whole world. Don't sweat it. I've responded to assanine comments with things like 'well, thanks for being so positive!' And 'That's super helpful!' With a big grin on my face.
Also, the DirecTV guy asked about my pregnancy yesterday. I was at first somewhat impressed because usually men don't engage (y'all I am no longer 'maybe' pregnant offendable zone). I told him I was having twins and he said 'TWINS...WHY?' As if I ordered them from the f-ing a la carte menu. People are something else.
UO: I don't think there is anything wrong with us sending my 2YO to my parents for a week the first week in January so I can have a break and some bonding time with baby. No, he's not going to feel like he's being replaced; he LOVES going to his grandparents. Maybe it will be good for him to be dotting on? No, I don't need to "get used to" have 2 kids alone, I have 12 whole weeks for that. Also, if you disagree with something I'm doing as a parent, STFU.
@brittnic86 - and it doesn't end there. Then you have your baby and anyone with an older child is like... "Oh just you wait!" when you respond that things are going great when they ask. Then you have another child on the way and people with more than one are like "Oh you're about to be wrecked for a few years!"
Yes being a parent can be tiring and priorities change but if it's any comfort to combat those bitter, sad people, I would say that since my son has been born, my life has been filled with more joy and warmth than I knew possible. I feel far less needy for myself, far more connected and invested in my community, and an excitement for the future as I get to share in DS's experiences and development.
ETA - AND I've fallen far more in love with my husband watching him be such a wonderful father than I knew I had room to!
My DH turns into a 2yo when he has a cold. He thinks 99.0 is a fever. I have a cold now (either from the hospital or dd) and the show goes on. I didn't even know I had a high fever last week or a kidney infection until being admitted to the hospital. My Dr asked me/DH how long I had the fever and I said I had no clue I had one...DH said "she never checks her temp, I would have known right away". He said it like he was proud he takes his temp 2ce a day!
Also in the camp of the world keeps spinning even though I'm pregnant/will have a newborn for the holidays. I asked my mom the other day if we could do thanksgiving at her place (usually at mine) but said I'd still cook my usual dishes and she just stared at me and said that I'm only allowed to cook 1 dish this year to avoid too much work.
My UO: I like when people make comments about pregnancy, even if they are rude ones. The nice ones cheer me up and the rude ones provide me entertainment by responding. The comments have gotten much worse this week at work (since I left abruptly from here last week for the hospital) and it kind of fun to see people's reaction to some of my replies.
Ditto on not canceling Christmas. My siblings are all under the age of 16, we can't just not do Christmas for them. It may be a bit of a cheaper Christmas all things considered, but the holidays don't get cancelled just because you're having a baby.
My UO: Don't take someone on a limited/restricted diet or who has GI problems out to eat just to complain about their illness! All of last weekend was essentially us eating out with my parents and my dad complaining about the cost of eating out for me to just get sick. I didn't get sick the whole weekend and he still complained. And I offered multiple times to pay for my food but he wouldn't let me because it was my birthday and it's a pride thing for him. Even if I had gotten sick I would've felt shamed into not saying anything about it. Being sick all the time is physically draining enough without someone else complaining about it.
@ashleaf2018 - WHAT THE HECK?!?! Oh you are going through absolute hell but think about me for a second here - I paid for that meal you're ralphing because I insisted. Whhhhaaaaaat!?!!? Your dad just made my brain implode.
UO - I hate that there's now people (most people I work with) that the only thing they want to talk to me about (non work related) is about pregnancy or babies. I am still my own person with hobbies and interests. While yes, I am going to become a mother that is not my sole identity, I'm still me. Sadly, I know this won't change. After the baby, it will solely be questions about the child.
Me: 26 & DH: 25
Married: August 2014 TTC since November 2015 BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16 BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
Argh!!! I've had a cold for about a week, but dealing with it, I've been functioning just like I always do and getting sh*t done. I tried so hard to prevent DH from getting the cold in our house, but it happened. He is sick. WHY? Why is it that men cannot handle having a cold without acting like their world is ending??? We ran out of good decongestant 2 days ago, and this morning he has a fit about why I didn't go get some yesterday. Even though I was babysitting 2 kids, plus taking care of our kids, and house, and making meals for everyone, oh and I'm 31 weeks pregnant and have the SAME cold that he does but not taking any medication and I'm not turning into a whiny baby. But when I got sick, did he do anything for me? No! I took care of myself, I made my own soup and tea.
Men just need to get over it. Especially mine. It's a cold, you aren't barfing, you don't have a fever, you aren't even coughing. A little congestion no reason to freak out. Get. Over. It.
Tell me that I'm not the only one with a DH who turns into a 2 year old when he has a cold...
The man cold: it's real and makes me want to move out of my own house.
@l9i In addition to yours, I can't stand it that people that have not spoken to me the entire time I've worked at my job (>4 years) now feel the need to comment on my pregnancy every day.
My husband never gets sick, but when he does you better believe I'm going to get it next and twice as bad. He refuses to take meds, but he has gotten better about it. He complains when he takes Musenex because he'll be talking and stuff will come up, like it's supposed to. I tell him this but he's always hesitant to take it. Ugh, stubborn man! When I'm sick he'll take care of me, but in his time. If he's playing a video game he'll wait till he's at a point he can stop then get me what I need. Sometimes that's 20 minutes. So I end up getting it myself.
My UO - a lot of women hate that their belly button pops during pregnancy. I'm almost 32 weeks and I'm bummed mine hasn't!
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
@cgss11, while I don't necessarily think having a baby near Xmas means that family plans need to be altered/changed over much, I am also not immune to saying celebrate without us this year unless you'd prefer to come here. I'm not saying that I will actually do that (I'd be too guilty), but the desire is actually pretty strong...my holiday joy is easily overcome by holiday stress, and celebrating a low key Xmas with just my DSs and DH sounds like heaven.
@SarahF8611, no judgement here. My parents will likely take both DS1 and DS2 for several days right after DS3 birth. It'll be nice to have a chance for DH and I to bond with DS3 without juggling the needs of a 4 and 2 year old.
My UO is that the hospital nursery (if available) is there for a reason, and that medals aren't handed out if you don't use their services. Implying that mom's who do use the nursery are taking advantage and/or taking the easy way out is both rude and judgemental. It's my opinion that new moms shouldn't be shamed for using a service that they may need for whatever reason (emotional/mental or physical). Not everyone reacts to giving birth the same way. Stepping down from my soapbox now...sorry some comments on a FB group I belong to still have me a bit annoyed.
I'll join. @cgss11 I agree that cancelling Christmas is not necessary because I am having a newborn. But I think that just because DH and I decide not to attend a regular gathering we normally would because we may be in the hospital or home with a 1 day old and we just personally decide not to attend cancels any normal event for anyone else.
I think my related UO is that I don't think that Christmas (or other holiday) gifts are the most important thing. Not purchasing any gifts does not in any way mean we are cancelling anything nor should they be mandatory. I will add that we do not have any other children, nieces or nephews, or children siblings, who that may have more difficulty understanding. All adults here. And the holidays are not about gifts to me, so if we don't buy gifts, and don't expect gifts in return, doesn't mean that we are skipping Christmas. We will definitely still attend whatever we can with the obvious limitations of labor, hospital, illness, etc.
@phoenix870509 My DH never gets sick, or it's very rare. However, I feel that he's in the minority of being a baby when he is sick. And, I do belive he has a good immune system. I had Influenza B a couple years ago, and he never got it at all. I was surprised as we kept our distance, but I still slept in the same bed, etc.
Also, my belly button hasn't popped either. But, I did notice last night that it's sticking out a little bit more than what it has. When I rub my hand over the area, I can feel it whereas before I still couldn't. I have no round belly, it's round and then goes flat. I am indifferent if I want it too or not, but maybe would round out my belly more if it did.
Me: 37 years old
DH: 39 years old
Married: October 17, 2014 TTC Since: November 2015 BFP: March 31, 2016 DS: November 21, 2016
December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**
@H4aPartyof5 yes! Ugh I hate the hospital I'm delivering at! I was 21 with my first baby and they told me I wasn't allowed to sleep if he was in the room. Which I was like alright whatever... but a few years later when I had my second they didn't say a word about it and I realized I was probably being judged as young ftm. Third time around? They were transitioning to "baby friendly" and shutting the nursery down completely. My baby was in the NICU so I didn't have the option to have her in the room, but then they made us stay together for one night before I could go home with her. This time around I know there will be no nursery and I'm dreading it! Rest after delivery is so important especially if you've gone 24 hours without sleep or food like I have EVERY TIME. I'm contemplating signing myself out as soon as I'm ready. If they aren't going to help me I don't need them coming in and waking me and my baby every two hours.
@i9i the work thing....if I could have hidden my pregnancy physically this entire time, I so would have!! My coworker, who does the same thing as me (and is socially awkward in general) can't talk to me without her eyes bouncing from my face to my stomach every 3 seconds ( she's in her 50s with kids, so it's not a jealousy thing)!! Eyes up here!!!
@H4aPartyof5 I'm totally with you on that! My hospital doesn't have a nursery, and as much as I want to hold, stare at, and feed my baby, I also need to get some sleep. With my first, I hadn't slept in two whole nights and was a mess after he was born. I really could have used a few hours of sleep, but little man was in the room with me. One nurse took pity and walked him up and down the halls for a little while, but having a nursery would have been much easier. With my second and third, I checked out asap so that I could go home and be comfortable and get some sleep when possible. Needing sleep after your body suffers trauma doesn't make anyone weak!
Completely agree with everyone about wishing they could hide the pregnancy in a professional setting. Some things I'd just rather keep private and the fact that people are commenting on or peering at my "development" over time creeps me out.
My PPO (probably popular opinion) is that these ads on desktop Bump are DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!! Whyyyyy...??? They can't possibly be effective for anything besides annoying users.
@jessCL- My hospital doesn't have a nursery either, which is one of the things making me nervous! The nurses have told us that they will take the baby to the nurses' station if I need some rest, but I still wish the birthing wing had a real nursery.
@H4aPartyof5 - I agree. I don't see anything wrong with letting mom get some rest without baby. In fact, I imagine that most mothers throughout history were able to hand their baby off to female family members or midwives so they could catch a few hours of sleep after the birth!
@ashleaf2018- Ugh! Super rude! I hate it when people "do something nice" for you and then make you feel guilty the entire time. His problem, not yours!
My UO: I have unfollowed every friend on Facebook who posts even ONE political post. Republican, Democrat, Independent, it doesn't matter! I would say close to TWO-THIRDS of my friends are currently unfollowed, including some of my very best friends! It makes me a little sad, but I joined Facebook so I could look at pictures of people's children, pets, and dream vacations. I didn't join to watch my college friends play the political Hunger Games in my newsfeed.
My UO is that the hospital nursery (if available) is there for a reason, and that medals aren't handed out if you don't use their services. Implying that mom's who do use the nursery are taking advantage and/or taking the easy way out is both rude and judgemental. It's my opinion that new moms shouldn't be shamed for using a service that they may need for whatever reason (emotional/mental or physical). Not everyone reacts to giving birth the same way. Stepping down from my soapbox now...sorry some comments on a FB group I belong to still have me a bit annoyed.
I am totally with you on this. I am a FTM so I don't have experience with it but in my mind it makes sense to take advantage of the option of getting a little rest the first two nights before you take the baby home. Also most of my friends who have had babies recently have said they felt it was helpful or wish they had done it. We did our childbirth classes at the hospital we are delivering at and when we did the tour she mentioned the baby stays in your room at all times. I asked what if you want to have the baby taken to the nursery at night and I might as well have asked if it was ok to let wild coyotes take the baby overnight. I got the total stink eye and was told they will take them if I insist but that they would bring her back for feedings etc because "they are not taking care of my baby for me". I took it with a grain of salt because the lady doing the class and tour doesn't actually work as a nurse for the hospital anymore - she is a private Douala who clearly had some pretty strong opinions on what she thought was the "right" way to approach labor/delivery/pp care.
My PPO (probably popular opinion) is that these ads on desktop Bump are DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!! Whyyyyy...??? They can't possibly be effective for anything besides annoying users.
OMG!!! I can't even USE bump on my desktop at home because they are so bad!! I emailed thebump to complain...
this isn't really an opinion, just my experience but I had zero need or desire for baby to go to the nursery. I feel I slept better with him next to me in the bassinet. Our birthing center had a nice one but they said they mostly use it for storage now because no one chooses to use it
@KatieJo1205- "I might as well have asked if it was okay to let wild coyotes take the baby overnight." Haha I love it! I actually had a somewhat similar experience during our hospital class! Our hospital's L&D class was taught by a nurse who had given birth med-free four times and who was also a Lamaze instructor, the president of the local La Leche League AND was the resident doula for our hospital (women who are delivering med-free are given into her care when they are admitted). At the beginning of class, she asked who was pretty sure they wanted an epidural, and I was the only person who raised my hand. For the rest of class, any time she talked about med-free childbirth, she would talk DIRECTLY TO ME. At first I thought she just had awkward eye-contact skills, but by the end of hour two, it was clear that she was trying to sell me on going med-free, which is not my Plan A. Like you, I didn't take it personally. The instructor was still very knowledgeable and had TONS of great information about med-free pain relief techniques and breathing exercises, which I absolutely intend to use if I can't get an epidural. And the fact that she was so passionate about going med-free makes me feel like I can trust her information and hopefully rely on her skills and support if I have to go the med-free route! But again, med-free is not my Plan A no matter how long the L&D nurse intended to stare me down
+1 to @slartybartfast. You are going to need to learn LOs cues, and be woken for feedings and changes anyways. So why not do it supervised and learn to sleep with their noise as soon as possible.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Nursery- I agree with @slartybartfast My hospital did away with the nursery, but I wouldn't have been able to use it anyway. The only way I can let my baby out of my sight is if it's with DH, my mom, or my sister. Paranoid? Yes. It's like an anxiety attack if my baby is not with me in the hospital.
Facebook- I have also unfollowed a lot of friends. In fact, I've started avoiding facebook altogether because if it's not political, it's a food post, both are torture!
@allicat89 I tried med free and made it 7 hrs into labor before giving in to the epidural. I wish I had gotten it earlier! We have modern medicine for a reason, everyone gets to make their own choice and shouldn't be judged for it, regardless.
Our hospital has a nursery but they are very "Room In" with everything. However, did say that if you wanted your baby in the nursery for whatever reason, they were totally OK with that. At the time of our tour, no baby was in there and this was about 8:15ish at night. I had been in that area 4 years ago when my youngest nephew was born and don't recall any babies in the nursery then either, and that was in the afternoon.
As a FTM, I am playing everything by ear and just seeing how it goes. If we want LO in my room the whole time, great. If either of us need a break from him... then off to the nursery he goes. I know if we decide to circumcise, they take him to the nursery to perform that there and he would remain until it was done... so there is some rest time.
Me: 37 years old
DH: 39 years old
Married: October 17, 2014 TTC Since: November 2015 BFP: March 31, 2016 DS: November 21, 2016
December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**
Re: UO Thursday 10/13
Children are, themselves, a Force Majeure. Newborns aren't the end of it. Children love ruining the best laid plans. Guess what, next year your family may be doing Christmas and you're planning to go and then baby gets a stomach bug and is barfing everywhere. Or you are simply trying to make it to a birthday party but after a blowout in the car, you realize that by the time you leave, there'll be like 20 minutes left. Yea you have to cancel. Maybe you're too wrecked for something this year after birth. So cancel! It's not ideal but that's life. That's having kids. Put down the pen. Pick up a pencil. If there's something going on you may want to be a part of say "we're gonna try to make it!" If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
This UO does not include circumstances where there are complicated family relationships and emotions wrapped into those. That's totally different.
I can't think of my UO right now, darn pregnancy brain.
Men just need to get over it. Especially mine. It's a cold, you aren't barfing, you don't have a fever, you aren't even coughing. A little congestion no reason to freak out. Get. Over. It.
Tell me that I'm not the only one with a DH who turns into a 2 year old when he has a cold...
Can you tell I'm tired of hearing how awful my life is going to be now that I'm having babies? Ugh.
@brittnic86 I have gotten that from people with kids AND from people who don't have kids, and don't even plan on having them. I get the "this is what you're in for" advice from friends with kids, but luckily some of mine are also like, "Just cos I have a spawn doesn't mean that your kid won't be great at sleeping through the night, eating well, not being fussy, etc."
So, I mainly get annoyed from those WITHOUT kids who think having kids just ruins your life. This was mainly from some coworkers, who are much younger than me. I would always say, "I'm in my mid-30's... I've been there and done that for A LOT of things in life. Having a kid is not going to ruin me, nor will it stop me from doing stuff. Yes, I won't be able to just do whatever I want... but that is OK. Again, I've been there and done that. Now, I will just have to plan and that is totally OK."
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016
@slartybartfast DH and I actually got into an argument about this last night. We were discussing holiday plans and I said hopefully we will be able to make everything as usual but we will just see how it goes when the time comes. He doesn't see a reason to miss the 5-10 parties we usually go to around the holidays even if we have a brand new baby or I don't feel up to it.
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
And no, you're not the only one with a husband who turns into a 2 year old when they get sick. I think that's a given lol. Mine acts like he's dying...and when I'm sick he'll ask me what's for dinner lol.
Also, the DirecTV guy asked about my pregnancy yesterday. I was at first somewhat impressed because usually men don't engage (y'all I am no longer 'maybe' pregnant offendable zone). I told him I was having twins and he said 'TWINS...WHY?' As if I ordered them from the f-ing a la carte menu. People are something else.
Might be back later with my own UO.
Yes being a parent can be tiring and priorities change but if it's any comfort to combat those bitter, sad people, I would say that since my son has been born, my life has been filled with more joy and warmth than I knew possible. I feel far less needy for myself, far more connected and invested in my community, and an excitement for the future as I get to share in DS's experiences and development.
ETA - AND I've fallen far more in love with my husband watching him be such a wonderful father than I knew I had room to!
Also in the camp of the world keeps spinning even though I'm pregnant/will have a newborn for the holidays. I asked my mom the other day if we could do thanksgiving at her place (usually at mine) but said I'd still cook my usual dishes and she just stared at me and said that I'm only allowed to cook 1 dish this year to avoid too much work.
My UO: I like when people make comments about pregnancy, even if they are rude ones. The nice ones cheer me up and the rude ones provide me entertainment by responding. The comments have gotten much worse this week at work (since I left abruptly from here last week for the hospital) and it kind of fun to see people's reaction to some of my replies.
My UO: Don't take someone on a limited/restricted diet or who has GI problems out to eat just to complain about their illness! All of last weekend was essentially us eating out with my parents and my dad complaining about the cost of eating out for me to just get sick. I didn't get sick the whole weekend and he still complained. And I offered multiple times to pay for my food but he wouldn't let me because it was my birthday and it's a pride thing for him. Even if I had gotten sick I would've felt shamed into not saying anything about it. Being sick all the time is physically draining enough without someone else complaining about it.
@acreight13 I'm sure being a step parent is really hard =/
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
My UO - a lot of women hate that their belly button pops during pregnancy. I'm almost 32 weeks and I'm bummed mine hasn't!
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
@SarahF8611, no judgement here. My parents will likely take both DS1 and DS2 for several days right after DS3 birth. It'll be nice to have a chance for DH and I to bond with DS3 without juggling the needs of a 4 and 2 year old.
My UO is that the hospital nursery (if available) is there for a reason, and that medals aren't handed out if you don't use their services. Implying that mom's who do use the nursery are taking advantage and/or taking the easy way out is both rude and judgemental. It's my opinion that new moms shouldn't be shamed for using a service that they may need for whatever reason (emotional/mental or physical). Not everyone reacts to giving birth the same way. Stepping down from my soapbox now...sorry some comments on a FB group I belong to still have me a bit annoyed.
DH: 36⎹ Me: 36
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
I'll join. @cgss11 I agree that cancelling Christmas is not necessary because I am having a newborn. But I think that just because DH and I decide not to attend a regular gathering we normally would because we may be in the hospital or home with a 1 day old and we just personally decide not to attend cancels any normal event for anyone else.
I think my related UO is that I don't think that Christmas (or other holiday) gifts are the most important thing. Not purchasing any gifts does not in any way mean we are cancelling anything nor should they be mandatory. I will add that we do not have any other children, nieces or nephews, or children siblings, who that may have more difficulty understanding. All adults here. And the holidays are not about gifts to me, so if we don't buy gifts, and don't expect gifts in return, doesn't mean that we are skipping Christmas. We will definitely still attend whatever we can with the obvious limitations of labor, hospital, illness, etc.
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
@phoenix870509 My DH never gets sick, or it's very rare. However, I feel that he's in the minority of being a baby when he is sick. And, I do belive he has a good immune system. I had Influenza B a couple years ago, and he never got it at all. I was surprised as we kept our distance, but I still slept in the same bed, etc.
Also, my belly button hasn't popped either. But, I did notice last night that it's sticking out a little bit more than what it has. When I rub my hand over the area, I can feel it whereas before I still couldn't. I have no round belly, it's round and then goes flat. I am indifferent if I want it too or not, but maybe would round out my belly more if it did.
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016
My PPO (probably popular opinion) is that these ads on desktop Bump are DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!! Whyyyyy...??? They can't possibly be effective for anything besides annoying users.
@H4aPartyof5 - I agree. I don't see anything wrong with letting mom get some rest without baby. In fact, I imagine that most mothers throughout history were able to hand their baby off to female family members or midwives so they could catch a few hours of sleep after the birth!
@ashleaf2018- Ugh! Super rude! I hate it when people "do something nice" for you and then make you feel guilty the entire time. His problem, not yours!
My UO: I have unfollowed every friend on Facebook who posts even ONE political post. Republican, Democrat, Independent, it doesn't matter! I would say close to TWO-THIRDS of my friends are currently unfollowed, including some of my very best friends! It makes me a little sad, but I joined Facebook so I could look at pictures of people's children, pets, and dream vacations. I didn't join to watch my college friends play the political Hunger Games in my newsfeed.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I agree with @slartybartfast
My hospital did away with the nursery, but I wouldn't have been able to use it anyway. The only way I can let my baby out of my sight is if it's with DH, my mom, or my sister. Paranoid? Yes. It's like an anxiety attack if my baby is not with me in the hospital.
Facebook-
I have also unfollowed a lot of friends. In fact, I've started avoiding facebook altogether because if it's not political, it's a food post, both are torture!
@allicat89 I tried med free and made it 7 hrs into labor before giving in to the epidural. I wish I had gotten it earlier! We have modern medicine for a reason, everyone gets to make their own choice and shouldn't be judged for it, regardless.
Preach it, sisters!
Our hospital has a nursery but they are very "Room In" with everything. However, did say that if you wanted your baby in the nursery for whatever reason, they were totally OK with that. At the time of our tour, no baby was in there and this was about 8:15ish at night. I had been in that area 4 years ago when my youngest nephew was born and don't recall any babies in the nursery then either, and that was in the afternoon.
As a FTM, I am playing everything by ear and just seeing how it goes. If we want LO in my room the whole time, great. If either of us need a break from him... then off to the nursery he goes. I know if we decide to circumcise, they take him to the nursery to perform that there and he would remain until it was done... so there is some rest time.
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016