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January 2016 Moms
maureenmce
member
Day care change - what would you do?
maureenmce
member
Hi ladies - I have a major conundrum I can't figure out. Today we were just offered a spot in an awesome day care program we applied to way back when I was 5 months pregnant or so. But now that we've been sending our LO to a lovely home day care for almost 3 months, I'm finding the change difficult to deal with.
I'd love some objective people to weigh in because it's triggering my lingering anxiety issues a bit and I'm having a hard time thinking clearly.
Pros of the new day care:
-it's a wonderful, developmentally focused program that transitions into preschool and then pre k. We could literally keep her in this program until she starts kindergarten and their preschool and pre k programs are amazing.
-it's also a fun day care - they have a lot of dress up days, etc.
-our friends have sent their daughter there since she was 3 months old (she's now three) and they love it. Their daughter begs to go even when she's sick and has made a lot of friends.
- our LO would be around other babies her age. At our current day care she is the only baby.
-it would make my husband's job and life MUCH easier. This day care is literally down the street from where he works. As of now he's had to switch his hours from 11-7 to 730-330 to be able to leave early enough to pick her up from our current day care. (1.5 hour commute.). He would be able to switch to a 9-6 schedule which would help him a lot w work.
-hours are better 6-630, vs 8-5.
-being in a developmental program with other kids her age (including cute little report cards and milestones they let you know about, like when kids should be engaging in imaginative play, etc) is probably better than just hanging out at our current home day care.
-we plan to have another baby in a couple years and that baby would automatically get a spot at this day care, which is huge becayse it's nearly impossible to find care for babies under 1 year or 18 months in LA. Even at our current day care it wouldn't be a guarantee because she only takes one baby under a year old at a time, and I know some of the 7 other couples who send their kids there will be trying for siblings too and the timing may not work out.
Cons:
-This is the biggest one - right now I spend an hour with LO in the morning (play, snuggles, walk the dog together, etc.) then I drive her to day care, which is 15 min away. I would still get the hour of play and getting ready, but I would never be the one to drop her off or pick her up from day care because it's an hour commute from where we live and from where I work. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time dealing with not being the one to drop her off in the mornings, even if I still get my hour with her to have fun, but I am.
-the day care is again, an hour away from me. This freaks me out in case of an emergency, but my husband would actually be closer (less than 5min) than any of us would be at the current day care.
-new day care is $90 per week more expensive, ($390 vs $300) though they do provide all diapers and wipes. It's not a deal breaker for us financially, because since this is the day care we always wanted to go with, it's what we planned for, bit obviously we would miss the savings.
-our home daycare provider is such a lovely woman and my daughter loves her. She is excited and happy to go to day care every day, and I worrying she won't like it as well or will have a rough adjustment.
-also, our current day care provider picked us over several other families for her only slot for a child under 1, so I would feel terrible for only using her services for 3 months, and then only giving 2 weeks notice. I know that's not at all more important than what's best for our family, but it would just suck.
-I am a creature of habit and I have really gotten used to our routine and changing her care really triggers my anxiety. (Again, not a good enough reason not to do it, just how I feel at the moment.
-this working out would be very tied to my husband's job. If he ever wanted to leave or lost his job, it would be a needlessly long commute and we'd probably have to find somewhere else. Though he has no plans to leave and his work just renewed his yearly contract, as they have every year for the last 4, so it's not a huge concern.
Overall, I think it would be better for LO developmentally, it would definitely be better for my husband's schedule and work performance, but she'd be far away from me and therefore I'd never be able to pick her up or drop her off, which I'm having a hard time with emotionally.
I would SO appreciate any thoughts!!
I'd love some objective people to weigh in because it's triggering my lingering anxiety issues a bit and I'm having a hard time thinking clearly.
Pros of the new day care:
-it's a wonderful, developmentally focused program that transitions into preschool and then pre k. We could literally keep her in this program until she starts kindergarten and their preschool and pre k programs are amazing.
-it's also a fun day care - they have a lot of dress up days, etc.
-our friends have sent their daughter there since she was 3 months old (she's now three) and they love it. Their daughter begs to go even when she's sick and has made a lot of friends.
- our LO would be around other babies her age. At our current day care she is the only baby.
-it would make my husband's job and life MUCH easier. This day care is literally down the street from where he works. As of now he's had to switch his hours from 11-7 to 730-330 to be able to leave early enough to pick her up from our current day care. (1.5 hour commute.). He would be able to switch to a 9-6 schedule which would help him a lot w work.
-hours are better 6-630, vs 8-5.
-being in a developmental program with other kids her age (including cute little report cards and milestones they let you know about, like when kids should be engaging in imaginative play, etc) is probably better than just hanging out at our current home day care.
-we plan to have another baby in a couple years and that baby would automatically get a spot at this day care, which is huge becayse it's nearly impossible to find care for babies under 1 year or 18 months in LA. Even at our current day care it wouldn't be a guarantee because she only takes one baby under a year old at a time, and I know some of the 7 other couples who send their kids there will be trying for siblings too and the timing may not work out.
Cons:
-This is the biggest one - right now I spend an hour with LO in the morning (play, snuggles, walk the dog together, etc.) then I drive her to day care, which is 15 min away. I would still get the hour of play and getting ready, but I would never be the one to drop her off or pick her up from day care because it's an hour commute from where we live and from where I work. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time dealing with not being the one to drop her off in the mornings, even if I still get my hour with her to have fun, but I am.
-the day care is again, an hour away from me. This freaks me out in case of an emergency, but my husband would actually be closer (less than 5min) than any of us would be at the current day care.
-new day care is $90 per week more expensive, ($390 vs $300) though they do provide all diapers and wipes. It's not a deal breaker for us financially, because since this is the day care we always wanted to go with, it's what we planned for, bit obviously we would miss the savings.
-our home daycare provider is such a lovely woman and my daughter loves her. She is excited and happy to go to day care every day, and I worrying she won't like it as well or will have a rough adjustment.
-also, our current day care provider picked us over several other families for her only slot for a child under 1, so I would feel terrible for only using her services for 3 months, and then only giving 2 weeks notice. I know that's not at all more important than what's best for our family, but it would just suck.
-I am a creature of habit and I have really gotten used to our routine and changing her care really triggers my anxiety. (Again, not a good enough reason not to do it, just how I feel at the moment.
-this working out would be very tied to my husband's job. If he ever wanted to leave or lost his job, it would be a needlessly long commute and we'd probably have to find somewhere else. Though he has no plans to leave and his work just renewed his yearly contract, as they have every year for the last 4, so it's not a huge concern.
Overall, I think it would be better for LO developmentally, it would definitely be better for my husband's schedule and work performance, but she'd be far away from me and therefore I'd never be able to pick her up or drop her off, which I'm having a hard time with emotionally.
I would SO appreciate any thoughts!!
Re: Day care change - what would you do?
My oldest is 7.5, middle one is 4 and I've seen the difference daycares make in what they are taught vs home daycares of friends.
Good luck!!!
It sounds a lot like your center, it has a curriculum and goes through pre-k. They send little notes home everyday and email us pictures and we even have patent teacher conferences every 6 months. It's a lot more expensive than the home daycare would have been, but I'm so glad that's where DS is. When he started, he was the youngest of six babies, but the oldest was only 4-5 months older than him. He's learned so much from watching and imitating the bigger babies and he loves playing and wrestling with them.
Since it's sponsored by DH's company, if he were to leave or lose his job, we'd need to find new care immediately which is a little stressful sometimes. DH also obviously does the drop offs and pick ups which mostly works out fine, but sometimes he doesn't always pass along my messages to the teachers. That's a problem with him rather than the daycare though.
I do know how you're feeling. We love our daycare--even with a few roadbumps along the way, but finances are tight. We've qualified for vouchers, but our current daycare does not accept them. Our home church is opening an infant room in their daycare within the next few weeks, and we will likely move her there, since they do accept vouchers. It also will give us an extra hour with her, since it's just down the street from us.
Even with all the added benefits, I break down into tears every time I think of moving her from "Miss Annette," who will stop what she's doing and cuddle if I say she's had a hard night, and thinking about the other teachers' faces light up when Birdie does something new. I also worry because Birdie has some serious separation anxiety right now, and I know she is comfortable where she is. She hasn't even started going to the nursery during church service at our church.
We develop a loyalty to the people we trust to take care of our precious babies, and that's hard to break sometime. Just remember that whatever decision you make, you'll likely to be more bothered by it than baby.
I'm still adjusting to the idea that I won't be doing drop offs or pick ups most times, but they send home daily report cards, artwork (as they get older) and starting in about a month, all of the teachers will be given ipads so they can take/send pictures a couple of times during the day.
Also, I usually work from home for a week or so every few months (and I know I will be at the end of December) so I'll be able to just give her half days or full days with me driving her back and forth those days.
It's going to be really hard to say goodbye to our current provider (LO gets SO happy to see her each morning) but it's better to switch now at 8 months and have an easier transition than if she were older, I think.
Anyway, sorry for the long winded ramble, but I really appreciated all the feedback. She'll be starting on Halloween, which will be kind of fun. They have a little Halloween parade, which she'll get to participate in.