Scared to death

Praying41 · October 2016

I need to tell someone and can't tell anyone I know just yet... I just found out I'm pregnant with #2... My baby girl is just under 10 months... I'm scared out of my mind. And I'm afraid to tell DH! The thing is, when I got my first postpartum period last month, DH and I discussed the possibility of me getting pregnant and if that's something we were ok with. We both agreed then that we were ok with it. Except I didn't expect it to happen right away. It took us 3 years to conceive our girl because of endometriosis and I never would have expected that it could or would happen this fast. And although a part of me is very excited, the rest of me is scared to death. It didn't seem like a big deal when we talked about it but now that it's happened I'm panicking. I'm afraid to tell him how quickly it did happen. And to think that in June I will have a newborn and an 18 month old is beyond scary. What the hell were we thinking when we agreed it would be ok... I guess we weren't thinking... And at the same time I'm very excited about this because I was so afraid we wouldn't be able to have another baby because of the endometriosis. Who would have thought.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for with this post but I actually feel better now that I have typed it out. My mind was starting to feel like it would burst! Am I the only one feeling this way? I mean I'm 31 and we both have very stable jobs so it isn't like it's bad it's just so quick and I don't think I'm even used to the idea that I'm a mother and now I have to get used to the idea of #2. AHHHHHHH!!!!! I have to tell DH soon but not sure when or how. Goodness I never knew myself to be so anxious about anything.

Jendink · October 2016

Take a deep breathe or five! You can handle it.

Assiram42 · October 2016

Reading that gave me anxiety. Babies are a big deal even when you're settled and stable in life. 2u2 is hard, I'm sure, but do able. You've got this.

We're expecting #4 and while it was planned, we both very much had an 'oh crap!' moment.

Congrats!

Praying41 · October 2016

ok deep breath... I can do this... I'm ok.. just breathe...

Mrs.DeRuysscher · October 2016

Take lots of deep breaths maybe think of a fun/cute way to tell your dh will get you more excited less scared it will be OK! You will work out your game plan.

mirdamae03 · October 2016

You got this, mama! It will be hard, but totally doable.

Praying41 · October 2016

@assiram42 Sorry "oh crap moment" is a pretty perfect way of describing it.

a2003tiger · October 2016

When we had our son, I had a Mirena placed. After months of issues, I had it removed. DH and I knew we wanted more kids and agreed that we'd be okay with it happening any time. But I didn't even have a period. I was pregnant instantly. My son wasn't 18 months and 4 days old when our daughter was born. It was hectic for awhile. They're now 3 and 4.5 and I love it! They play non stop together. They're into the same thing s. Really, their close gap makes life easier.

Its natural to be scared. 2 under 2 is tough. But you'll figure it out and I be the you'll love it!

Elyse1384 · October 2016

So a few things

1. As a mom who survived a similar age gap between my first two, I can tell you it seems overwhelming, but once the baby gets here you will be amazed how quickly you snap into gear. This is my third and my youngest is 10 months so they will be 19 mo apart (my first two were 20 months apart). Similarly, we spent 3 years trying for number one and had to go the IVF route so I admit we were shocked with big DD and this pregnancy, but trust me it all ends so well!

2. What you are feeling is natural and probably much more common than your realize (regardless of it being a planned or unplanned pregnancy - the feelings are normal and common). I recommend posting this in the pregnancy chatter thread since this not only fits, but you might get a lot of other moms in a similar spot or who have been there that can share thoughts, tips, etc.

3. I imagine at some point, there will be a thread for "ask a STM". I've seen them on many BMBs and that will also be a great resource to share your fears and ask questions.

edit: the grammar struggle is real today

mamaelle27 · October 2016

My daughter is 13 months and we also got pregnant surprisingly quick this time. I'm nervous for sure, but I think after the initial hump of figuring out how to deal with a newborn and a toddler, them being close in age will be a blessing as they can play together and grow up super close. It's also a bonus for us as parents because while it'll be hard in the beginning, we will also get out of the baby stage quicker which could mean a little more freedom, date nights, etc. I'm sure this will be a common issue we can all discuss over the next 9 months and I'm sure we'll all go back and forth between anxious and excited. No worries, mama, you got this.

swanbrooner · October 2016

Hi! I am sorry you are feeling scared and overwhelmed.

With that being said, I'm seconding what @elyse1384 said. In the Please Read First thread it notes that "the community of this board encourages giving support as well as receiving it and prefers threads that benefit the whole rather than the individual."

Praying41 · October 2016

Elyse1384 said:

So a few things

1. As a mom who survived a similar age gap between my first two, I can tell you it seems overwhelming, but once the baby gets here you will be amazed how quickly you snap into gear. This is my third and my youngest is 10 months so they will be 19 mo apart (my first two were 20 months apart). Similarly, we spent 3 years trying for number one and had to go the IVF route so I admit we were shocked with big DD and this pregnancy, but trust me it all ends so well!

2. What you are feeling is natural and probably much more common than your realize (regardless of it being a planned or unplanned pregnancy - the feelings are normal and common). I recommend posting this in the pregnancy chatter thread since this not only fits, but you might get a lot of other moms in a similar spot or who have been there that can share thoughts, tips, etc.

3. I imagine at some point, there will be a thread for "ask a STM". I've seen them on many BMBs and that will also be a great resource to share your fears and ask questions.

edit: the grammar struggle is real today

Thanks for your response. And I'll definitely check out that other board.

LeggoxMyxPreggo · October 2016

I'm on number 2 and my son is 10months; I'm excited. You can do it mama

be strong - it's not a bad thing!

HookEmNelson · October 2016

Congratulations and you got this! I bet the shock is real right now, but y'all will be set and ready for this next babe when the time comes.

helloaustin123 · October 2016

I'm in the 2u2 club with you. My daughter just turned 11 months today!

Praying41 · October 2016

Well telling DH went about as horribly as it could have. Part of me understands this is quite a shock and he needs time to process but he didn't have to be a jerk about like it's somehow my fault. We talked about this possibility as soon as I got my first PP period and he said he was ok with it happening but obviously neither of us expected it so soon based on our past issues and now he's saying he knew it would happen and we should have protected. Seriously?!?!? Now he tells me? Um too late! Did not expect such a bad reaction

Assiram42 · October 2016

Sorry you didn't get the reaction you wanted, or he wasn't as excited as you would've hoped.

Elyse1384 · October 2016

He will come around. Maybe he is just completely shocked and he is dealing with it in a rather unfortunate way for you? Sometimes men can be asshats (albeit unintentional) and I don't think they communicate emotions all the eloquently. Either way - sorry you got that reaction, but I say give him some time and he will change his tune.

lukafoo74 · October 2016

Yeah, it will be a little rough, but so worth it. The hardest part for me was the pregnancy and having another baby to care for. It is actually kind of awesome when they are a bit older. Mine are 18 months apart!

Praying41 · October 2016

Thanks ladies for your kind words. They've really made me feel better and DH is doing better this morning. It was definitely a shock to him just as much to me and I know I'm more emotional than normal. We will get through this and I'm sure once the shock factor passes we will both be able to be as excited as with the first.

HollyGolightly09 · October 2016

First of all, it's completely understandable that you are freaking out a little... it is overwhelming for sure!

That being said..You will be fine.. you can do this! I know several people who LOVE their kids being close in age. They will have a great relationship!

I'm so sorry your husband wasn't particularly supportive. Men are so weird about stuff like that... and as a group, can be pretty insensitive. When we first found out I was pregnant my husband didn't act like he cared one way or another... when just the day before he had been saying how jealous he was of pregnancy announcements on Facebook.
Like you said, you discussed it... this is in no way someone's fault. Hopefully he will come around!

williamsmm2 · October 2016

My baby will be 22 months when the next one comes. We actually had mirena removed to start trying. My friends all told me it took them several months after mirena, so we figured we had a little bit of time. I actually got pregnant that same month. Even though this was totally planned I am so freaked out. My daughter is 14 months old and some days, I feel like I'm struggling just caring for one baby! I know this is what I want and I'm excited, but I'm so nervous. I completely underhand where you're coming from. I think everyone is right, it will be tough at first but worth it when they are best friends!! I'm sure it's your husband will come around... he's probably shocked just like You! Good luck!!!

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