Stupid questions people ask moms of multiples! — The Bump
Multiples

Stupid questions people ask moms of multiples!

Ok, so I'm super annoyed with all of the stupid questions people ask me about my twins. What do people ask you? If you're still pregnant, what stupid questions are you asked? Bonus points for a gif.

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nanamp

Re: Stupid questions people ask moms of multiples!

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  • @MrsBwIVF omg, I LOVE that picture. I have been asked every last one of those questions. People ask all the time if they're identical. Yes, you can tell they're twins, but they also have very distinctive features. No, they're not identical. I hope you ladies keep your stupid questions to a minimum from others. It's really hard to stay nice after a while.

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    mariposaa47
  • MrsBwIVFMrsBwIVF
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers Name Dropper
    member
    edited September 2015
    @blsav23, that's a ridiculous question!
    If it makes you feel better, I've been asked if mine are identical.... Ummm no. One is a boy and the other a girl. Clearly, some people missed those days of sex ed!
    ***Trying to conceive since 9/12- m/c 2/13 from natural conception.
    IVF success 10/14 with m/c 11/14. FET success 4/15***

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    SisterMaryNapalmSummerFall03calico34beeholly
  • @MrsBwIVF it was ridiculous. I almost had no words--I mean, what does that even mean?
    I can only imagine how frustrating it may be when people ask if yours are identical. You should just start saying yes then they'll look like the idiot when they start saying to people, "I met a woman today who is pregnant with identical boy/girl twins".
    DH & I married 12/17/2012
    Me (31)-dx w/PCOS 2007, when married to ex-husband after MC
    DH (41)-no MFI
    07/2014-Femara 5mg + trigger + IUI= chem preg ;(
    08/2014-Femara 5mg + trigger + IUI + 2nd trigger= BFN
    09/2014-Clomid 100mg + trigger + IUI + 2nd trigger= BFN
    10/2014-benched due to RE out of town, tying naturally!
    11/2014-benched due to cyst
    12/2014-Femara 5mg + stair step with additional 5 days Femara 5mg + trigger + IUI=BFN
    01/2015-Femara 5mg + Gonal F 25 units + trigger (plus additional Gonal F 100 units on trigger night) + IUI= BFP!!! Twins due 10/2015
    09/28/2015- Surprise!  Conrad and Hudson born at 35w6d!  
    MrsBwIVFnanampcalico34
  • Haha that's a good idea. Before we found out the sexes, I overhead my mom telling people they were identical. I sat and explained to her that we were not certain but the doctors did not believe they were identical. She said they were and then I asked if she was so sure, why would she be hoping one was a girl and the other a boy?
    I had to explain how babies are made to my 62 year old mother, haha. It was interesting to say the least.
    ***Trying to conceive since 9/12- m/c 2/13 from natural conception.
    IVF success 10/14 with m/c 11/14. FET success 4/15***

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    SisterMaryNapalmnanampkittyberetRanasol
  • I'm 25 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins and I get asked if they are identical... it never ceases to amaze me how people of all ages just don't get it! The one thing that really upsets me is people asking if they are natural, I don't really feel like discussing my fertility issues with complete strangers, so I usually reply "well they aren't aliens". 
    nanampSisterMaryNapalmmrswhitehead84Ranasol
  • I have fraternal fourth month old girls and I hate when people ask me if they are identical! They don't look alike at all! Also when they say I have my hands full ( I have a four year old and a two year old also). Do u think I don't know that? Should I send one back to make it easier? Lol.
    vibarra27Ranasol
  • emmalc16 said:

    I'm 25 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins and I get asked if they are identical... it never ceases to amaze me how people of all ages just don't get it! The one thing that really upsets me is people asking if they are natural, I don't really feel like discussing my fertility issues with complete strangers, so I usually reply "well they aren't aliens". 

    I know! I've only just told my parents and IL and they've all asked the same thing. Same with doctors. It's almost as if those who had help are explainable but those who conceived them without help (me) are somehow strange. I don't understand - twins are a blessing no matter what.
    image
    Expecting Double Trouble, April 2016
    image

    emmalc16MrsKubleyRanasol
  • I hate when people ask if they were "natural". Yes we did fertility treatments, but that's personal info, I'm not telling the cashier at TJ Maxx! Also we really only wanted to transfer one embryo, so that opens up a whole 'nother can of worms.
    MrsBwIVFemmalc16vstrasserRanasol
  • @Dolphinlover2002 They are hilarious!! I should print them out on cards and hand them out to the strangers who ask these dumb and personal questions! 
    DolphinLover2002
  • I have gotten some comments like "My baby was really big, so it's like I essentially carried twins." Um, I don't care that you gave birth to a 10 pound baby, it's still not the same thing as growing TWO babies at once!!! 
    camusoh2011vibarra27mariposaa47
  • I haven't gotten any stupid questions...yet anyway. But while going around to visit daycares and get on waiting list, one of the admin staff was going through their normal list of questions, and my response was I'll actually need to reserve two spots, Im having twins. I got an extremely weird look and the oh I had my kids 11 months apart so I kind of know what having twins is like, Bless your heart (I live in the south). thanks for the encouragement...jerk :( Some people just do not have a filter, if it comes to mind, it comes out of their mouth.
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  • Congratulations! I'm 24 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins as well and this is my first pregnancy. I get asked if they were conceived naturally all the time. When did it become socially acceptable to ask a complete stranger about their sex life or their fertility? Or comment and advise that since we were blessed with one of each gender we shouldn't have anymore children. Whether or not we decide to continue to expand our family is non of your business! 
    vibarra27mrswhitehead84apbauer0615
  • I get "better you than me" and "if anyone could do it you can"
    Thanks for the vote of confidence I guess.
  • I ran into a man at the store who claimed he was a twin also. Then after confirming mine were boy/girl, he asked if they were identical. How can twins themselves not know this?!?!?
    vibarra27
  • I get "better you than me" and "if anyone could do it you can"
    Thanks for the vote of confidence I guess.
    calico34
  • I had someone ask me if they're fraternal or maternal. They're identical.

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    My favorite activities and tips for surviving different phases with our twins!




    DolphinLover2002MrsKubleyvibarra27
  • I used clomid, metformin, and progesterone to get pregnant...I think I get asked at least once a week if I made twins on purpose. 
  • A few months ago i got asked if i have ever fed the same baby twice. It took someone 5 months to ask me that stupid question!
     I actually thought it was so stupid i laughed.

    Oh & the question i get the most is how i tell them apart(theyre identical)- i tell them they are my kids & a mother knows her children.

    Also they ask if i got pregnant with twins on my own or with "help".
    i never realized how personal that question is & i said they were concieved "naturally" so they jump into the next question- so twins run in your family right?

    I like when people want to take a look @ my kids because i love showing off my kids but the moment they start asking stupid question im like okay i have to go bye haha!
    DolphinLover2002mrswhitehead84
  • Are they twins?
    (They're the same size in a double stroller...)

    Were they a surprise?/Are they natural?/Do twins run in your family?
    (I HATE these the most! When asked this, I wish I could just say "Are you asking if I had sex? lol None of their business! )

    You have your hands full!
    (Don't really mind that one, but everyone says it. lol)

    The worst one was when a woman saw me coming with my babies, but took the bathroom stall with the changing table. I wasn't about to wait for her to text while on the toilet, so I layed down my changing pad and changed their diapers by the sink.

    She came out just as I was finishing and said "They need changing tables here." 

    Really? Like she didn't realize she was in the giant stall with the changing table... Just a snooty comment because she didn't like me changing my girls' diapers there.  :/ 
    tmk0325calico34vibarra27
  • Mine aren't born yet, but someone asked me "Do you know if they are maternal
    or paternal twins yet?" And I get lots of weird comments like "you are so brave!" (We also have a 14-month old) like we chose specifically to have all these babies so close in age?
    vibarra27
  • this is such a great board! i am only 10 weeks pregnant with identical twins and of the few people we have told ive already got some dumb questions and responses. We did fertility treatment and i am not shy about sharing that with the people in my life but i also was up front about we would only be transfering 1 embryo as it was our first go around with IVF and the Dr. was confident it would be successful. well it sure was and at our 7 week US we found out our little peanut had split! but in just a 2-3 week period of people finding out ive been asked if we planned it for the embryo to split, if there is a chance they could be boy/girl and even after explaining how Identical twins are spontaneous i still get asked if twins run in my family. I can only imagine whats to come when we actual announce publicly that we are expecting. I tend to only bite my tongue for so many dumb comments before i will come unglued so i feel sorry for whoever tips the scale!.
    Me (28) DH (32)
    Married: Dec 2011
    TTC#1 May 2014
    Dx: MFI (low count)
    FET#1 May 2016  BFP 
    EDD 2/4/17 - TWINS- MC July  o:) o:)
    FET#2- 11/9/16 BFP- MC o:)
    FET#3- 2/8/17 BFP- MC o:)

    vibarra27DolphinLover2002
  • I get asked at least twice a day if twins run in my family or my husband's family. Then when I explain that my girls are identical and that identical is a split egg, not a hereditary thing, eyes gloss over. Don't ask if you didn't want to know.
    My husband was upset last week. His coworkers keep asking if he is scared of our impending twins being the end of his freedom. Our marriage and children are all that we ever wanted and questions like that don't feel great. Like why are we not supposed to love having having babies? 
    vibarra27
  • Lol our twins are ID from a round of IVF with donor sperm. We're super open about it. People ask if they run in my family or H's and I'm like..... Ummm did you not just hear me say donor?? Do you understand the words I'm speaking?? ::eyeroll::
    vibarra27
  • Well I'm still pregnant with my twin girls I'm 24 weeks tomorrow and people ask are they identical I keep telling them that we won't know until they are born and a DNA test is done. At least I have been getting compliments on how well I'm carrying most women say when I was at 24 weeks I looked like I was having twins but you look great. I do fear the questions and how I'm going to react to them cause I do have a short temper which I have been working on. Have you ladies had anyone try to touch or hold your babies? If so what did you do?
  • 17 weeks with di/di twins.  Most likely fraternal but we don't know for sure.  People keep congratulating my husband on his "super sperm".  Let's remember who's growing TWO BABIES AT THE SAME TIME. What about my super uterus???  :smile:
    vibarra27wabash15kristinwyatt
  • Kirchetta said:
    17 weeks with di/di twins.  Most likely fraternal but we don't know for sure.  People keep congratulating my husband on his "super sperm".  Let's remember who's growing TWO BABIES AT THE SAME TIME. What about my super uterus???  :smile:
    Ive come across alot of ppl who think the dad has something to do with it but they dont. Us mommas have everything to do with it twin pregnancy they determine the sex so i guess They help a little i guess :wink:
  • I'm just over getting stopped by random people when I take them out.  They'll come up to the stroller and go "Oh my gosh twins!" (yessssssssssssssssssssssss they are thanks for reminding me) and then proceed to tell me about the twins they know, or the friend who had twins, or the great aunt once removed who wanted twins so much.  All I want to do is run my errand and go home, please leave me alone.
    DolphinLover2002wabash15
  • suchaglencocosuchaglencoco
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited September 2016
    wmam35 said:
    I'm just over getting stopped by random people when I take them out.  They'll come up to the stroller and go "Oh my gosh twins!" (yessssssssssssssssssssssss they are thanks for reminding me) and then proceed to tell me about the twins they know, or the friend who had twins, or the great aunt once removed who wanted twins so much.  All I want to do is run my errand and go home, please leave me alone.
    All of this. And the stares. I've told people "we're not a circus act, just a family with 2 babies".
    And when they say "looks like ya have your hands full!" "Yes, I do. Makes it so much easier when a stranger stops me from doing my errands while having my hands full just to tell me that it looks like I have my hands full."
    vibarra27tmk0325wabash15
  • My dh and I agreed that the next time we are stopped and asked if they are twins,  this will be our response: nope, one is mine and the other is his from another woman. 

    @ultratomato yes! I've had multiple women try to touch and even take my girls out of their stroller/carts. I pull them away and say, "excuse me, don't touch my children". I had one that was persistently trying to take one of my twins out of my double stroller. I told her several times to back off, but she refused. I finally had to slap her hand to get her away. Another one tried taking my girls out of their stroller too, after being told no many times, so I rammed her with the shopping cart I was pulling behind me. I'll do anything to protect my kids. 

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    vibarra27wabash15ultratomato
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