Intimacy..

jessicarae614 · September 2016

DH is constantly trying to be intimate, but i just dont have the drive anymore.... I dont feel attractive and even though he thinks I am I just cant get into it.... I feel terrible but ugh!!! just get off me lol.

kristah2 · September 2016

I'm in the same boat. I feel so bloated and large ALL the time that it's hard for me to get into the mood. Poor DH. Anyone have any tricks for getting over this?

RhodaMorgenstern · September 2016

I'm having the opposite problem. When I lost my mucus plug at 29 weeks, sex was ruled out for the remainder of the pregnancy. I feel like we've both had a lot of cold showers since then.

rspalding001 · September 2016

I haven't felt like getting it on much but I will try at least once a week for DH sake. I just know that after the baby is born there will be no sex as per Dr orders for at least 6 weeks and even then my sex drive didnt come back for a long time after that with DD. I guess for the sake of the relationship I continue to try even though Im not in the mood just so DH doesn't get so frustrated.

MollySm · September 2016

I also think it's good to just make yourself one a week or so. After birth there will be a big break (at least 6 weeks), and on top of that you will be so wrapped up in baby it will be hard to keep your relationship a priority. It's good to go into that phase in a good spot. I know that intimacy really impacts my closeness with H, even when I think I'm not in the mood.

jessicarae614 · September 2016

Im with you, i was seriously considering talking with my doctor aboput solutions

lajoliedreamer · September 2016

I've also been struggling to be in the mood, but agree with others that it's important to try to keep up the intimacy at least once a week. I've found I can get turned on if we do things different. If he just goes for my goods, it's a total turn off, but if we send some naughty texts at work, or flip through a sex book, or watch a little porn, I can often get excited enough to participate more fully. Another thing I do sometimes is just get him off - he appreciates the intimacy and I don't have to deal with my body.

(On the porn note, I found one that is a pregnant woman getting a sensual massage. There is no sex in it, but it really helped me feel more beautiful/sexual about my big pregnant self. Here's the link if you're interested: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph56e5604c4a1cf)

mamahazey · September 2016

We shoot for about once a week... although the last 2 times certain angles hurt. I read that it could be just that my cervix is softening...

Muscatmommyof4 · September 2016

My poor DH hasn't gotten any in a long time he's scared to put me in labor so we do other things because intimacy is very important... The only thing I can say is try making your self feel pretty like make up, hair, and find some Jammie's that don't make you feel huge like a nice nightgown/baby doll. That helps me get more in the mood when I'm feeling unattractive.

tigerfish227 · September 2016

I'm normally the one in our relationship that has a higher drive but lately I just haven't been in the mood much. DH needs some serious work in the "seduction" department cause he's very point blank when he wants it. I had to tell him today that him practically demanding sex wasn't helping and that I just wasn't there. (he did end up getting me in the mood but it wasn't easy) I think the problem is more that he's so used to me being the one to initiate and he just didn't really need know what to say/do before so he ends up just being blunt about it.

I'm really trying to stay intimate in other ways as much I can instead. It's just hard to be in the mood when I don't feel sexy and the positions we usually like aren't comfortable for me right now.

hollowway · September 2016

I want to be intimate, but it just doesn't feel good right now. So frustrating because with DD we were intimate up until the day before she was born! Now, I WANT it, but its not good right now.

ANZ116 · September 2016

I'm with you. Not in the mood. Ever. Also when I do it for DH's sake, it hurts. I'm just faking it the whole time and it has to be painfully obvious to him. We just keep an open line of communication about it thankfully. I will sometimes give him what we call HHHJ's (half-hearted....) hahaha! that seems to tide him over every now and then

jessicarae614 · September 2016

@ANZ116 I totally feel you there, i am so uncomfortable and I am horrible about hiding facial expressions so im sure he knows the whole time how uncomfortable I am...

PrettyPalomino · September 2016

I'm glad others are averaging once a week too, although that might drop off starting soon. It's just not the same anymore (obviously) for all the same reasons mentioned above. Low drive, feeling like a beached whale, old positions would throw out my back... poor DH has to put up with crabby me full of complaints and now he's getting the cold shoulder... Maybe I'll try to be nicer lol

lenacoilbov · September 2016

I don't think it's exactly intimate to "make yourself" do anything for anyone's sake. My DH and I both have times when we're not in the mood, either me feeling physically uncomfortable or him worrying about hurting the baby even though it's irrational. We kiss, snuggle and do other stuff. If it leads to more, great, if not then not.

whaat · September 2016

We average once a week. The things that really do it for me are not really possible at this point, so it's not great. I am the one in the relationship with the higher sex drive usually, and I do need frequent physical touch in order to feel connected, so this is a little annoying.
He, on the other hand, knows I'm uncomfortable and it makes him uncomfortable so... ugh.

hellopartyof5 · September 2016

My trouble lately has been umm gas lol. I'll be in the mood, but I'll be so gassy that I can't feel sexy or deal. Luckily last night I was feeling ok so we got some sexy time in, but I want to say that was the first time in 3 weeks. Before that, we were going at it at least 3 times a week. Another thing is I've been getting extra attention from the Dr because of baby girls small abdomen and that made me nervous to do things.

hollowway · September 2016

@nauticalife how are you fluid levels? Are they higher than normal?

TeamJyler · September 2016

I have the opposite problem. He's the one never in the mood. When going over our birth plan and backup, we got to the part about no sex for 6 weeks post partum...I shit you not he said good thing we've been practicing.

My self esteem is in the toilet, my confidence is non existent and I'm just ready to be done. Maybe it will come back when I don't waddle like a penguin and look like a beached whale. For now, this sucks.

hellopartyof5 · September 2016

@MaMaBear1323 no, they were actually on the lower end. However, as of this past tuesday theyre looking much better.

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