Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
PoeMasque
member
Re: September check in!
Jeni, from Oregon
TTC#1
12 cycles/11mos
CD 12 today and just got a positive OPK!
We go in for our first IUI tomorrow morning. My SO is loathing the whole sperm gathering process (he's not good at going into a cup at the lab....can't blame him). I'm pretty excited, only because we are finally doing something other than BD this cycle. I was super worried the timing wouldn't work out and I wouldn't get a positive OPK till Saturday, but it all worked out great!
On the rant side (and not TTC related), our house, which is on a hill, seems to be sliding down the hill. We have a bunch of new cracks in walls and foundation. We just bought it in April and it looks like the previous owners covered up the foundation cracks, so we may be looking at a lawsuit against them or just a huge bill for foundation work
Fall is my favorite time of year! I can't wait to relax on the couch with my coffee, knitting, and a scary movie while it rains outside!
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
TTC# 2 (first conceived at 38, birth @ 39-1/2)
how many months/cycles you've been TTC: since Nov 1015 but 6 cycles
where you are at in your cycle: 15 or 16DPO according to digital OPK, CD27
I am beyond over the wait this cycle. I told myself I wasn't going to get BSC but seriously, look at me!!! Kinda laughing at myself, will pass the time this weekend trying to keep distracted. Plan is to test after the weekend. If AF comes this weekend, will get RE referral as I'm feeling real age pressure with my new number!
My fave thing about fall is the fun foods that come with it, an excuse to make soups and things with pumpkin. Also great fall hiking and sound of crunching leaves.
TTC #2 - DD was born March 2011 - conceived at 30
Been TTC since end of May 2016 but really this is our 4th cycle
I'm at Cycle 4 CD 14 - been doing digital OPKs since CD 11 and no smile face yet. The sucky thing is DH leaves for an out of town wedding he is working this morning and comes back Sunday so I have a feeling my smile face will be either tomorrow or Sunday but I still have hope because we've been BD about every other day or so and we are going to today before he leaves and then Monday after he gets back so hopefully the swimmers will be waiting.
For me I'm kinda freaked out that its taking longer than it did for me to conceive DD (1 month) and I"m worried its because of my age (36), but then I remind myself what I have to be grateful for right now and that it's all in Gods time. I"m pretty sure though if I'm not pregnant by cycle 6 I'll be really bummed and worried.
This month I'm not going to worry about pregnancy signs and freak myself out over something that may not even be happening. If my pregnancy symptoms are anything like they were with DD - it will be pretty obvious when it happens. I'm hoping to get into a yoga workshop next weekend. I started the Maca Root last week.
I made the mistake of telling our neighbor that we were trying and instantly brought up infertility and asking if my OB knows about it and maybe I'm low in progesterone. Really? All the negative thoughts came rushing back in my head but I was able to get them out of my mind the next day.
I LOVE fall - the colors, the weather, pumpkin everything. It goes way too fast. I just put up our decor on Monday. I got mums for the front porch and we need to get pumpkins soon. Our wedding anniversary is October 3rd - 7 years.
Laura from Boston
TTC #1 since May 2016. We've been trying for 5 cycles. I am at CD 43 (that is not a typo) and approximately 12 DPO.
I took clomid this cycle days 5-9 and it caused me to O very late and over a stretch that H was traveling. I was so disappointed. This cycle we also completed our RE testing and just about everything looks good with the exception of my 'very low' AMH level. Tubes are clear, estrogen and FSH looks good and H's SA looked good too.
I am expecting AF any day and then will look forward to another round of clomid CD 3-7 and then IUI the day after a positive OPK.
I love fall in New England! Its beautiful and perfect running weather!
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
that makes sense - I was just curious
I did have some pretty bad cramping during the procedure, but it was maybe 30-45 seconds long. I also have a pretty narrow and stenotic (hard, non-flexible) cervix, so maybe my experience is not typical.
Fx that you get AF soon and can start your IUI soon!
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
@PoeMasque That's great! I love that they were so positive. FX for you!!!!
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
TTC# 1 consistently since February, inconsistently since September 2014.
I'm at CD8.
I'm somewhat taking a break from all things TTC except prenatals, but I am laid up in bed right now so I'm bored and decided to pop in. We did the clomid for 3 months, and I'm pretty much over that, I think it was possibly affecting my moods. I feel much more relaxed now that I've taken my mind off of TTC, it's not always easy to do so. I am not going to tell H when it's my FW as i usually do and just plan on seducing him a few times if I happen to feel like it. If he turns me down then no biggie. I'm avoiding using FF, too.
I love getting out all of my cooler weather clothes and buying new ones, I'm a sweater addict. I love decorating for fall, too. There are too many things to love about fall...a nice drive on a Saturday to look at leaves, the smells, the food. Plus we got married in the fall because we love it so much....Oct. 11th.
Husband: 40
TTC#1 since 9/2014
Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
Husband: 40
TTC#1 since 9/2014
Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
Am I making any sense to you? It's a lot of information.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
TTC #1 since July 2015
CD # 4 just started seeing a RE last week. Going thru testing now. Started me on Clomid which I finish tomorrow. Friday I go in for bloodwork and HSG test. Monday I go in for ultrasound and if all is good a trigger shot to bring on ovulation then timed intercourse.
Trying this way for now until we can come up with the money for IUI our insurance pays nothing.
I love everything about fall!!! The changing of the leaves, the crisp air, the smell of pumpkin candles. I just don't like raking the leaves!!