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January 2017 Moms
mudderbear
member
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Death in the family
mudderbear
member
Im wondering if any of you mamas have any tips on how to help a toddler deal with the death of someone they love?
My father in law just passed away last night and he was literally my daughters whole world. He's been sick for a while so the rest of us kind of expected it to happen eventually, but she's almost 3 and doesn't understand. Unfortunately we've been away for the last couple days but we are cutting our trip short to get home for the funeral and I'm not sure how she is going to handle it. I know it is going to break her heart (and mine to see her that way) when she figures out he won't be waking up and won't be at his house anymore. Ahhh can't write anymore, tearing up...
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
My father in law just passed away last night and he was literally my daughters whole world. He's been sick for a while so the rest of us kind of expected it to happen eventually, but she's almost 3 and doesn't understand. Unfortunately we've been away for the last couple days but we are cutting our trip short to get home for the funeral and I'm not sure how she is going to handle it. I know it is going to break her heart (and mine to see her that way) when she figures out he won't be waking up and won't be at his house anymore. Ahhh can't write anymore, tearing up...
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Re: Death in the family
https://imaginationsoup.net/2016/05/06/picture-books-about-death/
https://binkiesandbriefcases.com/books-to-help-young-kids-with-grief/?utm_campaign=books-to-help-young-kids-with-grief&utm_medium=rss&utm_source=rss
https://www.icanteachmychild.com/5-childrens-books-that-deal-with-death-loss-and-grief/
Some of these may not be relevant to your situation (I definitely saw some that are specifically about pets) and some might reflect certain religious beliefs that I don't know if you hold. I'd definitely recommend pre-reading any that you pick out before reading them to your daughter, because it is a very sensitive subject and you won't want to confuse her. But some of these could be very helpful to you. Your local librarian should be able to recommend some good titles to you. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Again thanks a bunch
My friend also suggested a bear or pillow made from one of his shirts or getting a little angel figure and telling her he's with her all the time just in a different way or something like that. I have a few days before we get back so I'll be scouring the Internet for more ideas as well.
Me: 33 DH: 38 Married: 1/10/15
1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!
2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18 Born 11/09/18 Baby Boy!
3rd Pregnancy EDD: 12/?/21
Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.
I don't have a toddler but my great grandfather, who I looovveddd, passed away when I was four and I know my mom always made a huge effort to talk about him and share memories to make it feel like he was still part of the family. I don't have many memories of him left, but I remember my moms stories about him. I also plan on doing this with my baby, who will never have had the pleasure of meeting my mom.
Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
We didn't say anything to him in the first few days as the adults were still dealing with the loss and all the emotions that came with it.
He he is a very active little boy, so in the hustle with all the new people around he really didn't ask about him. It was kind of out sight out of mind for him. If he said anything, it was just where's grandpa, or he'd say grandpa will be here in a minute. We would just say grandpa isn't here. Then, he would be off playing again.
After things started to settle down about a week after his death, he started asking a little more about calling him on the phone or going to see him. When his grandmother showed up without him, he'd ask where grandpa was.
At that point my husband sat down to talk to him in very simple terms about it, but he just wanted down to play and really didn't seem to grasp anything he said. Our son was really just to young to understand any of it.
My mother was nice enough to make a scrap book for us of pictures of my son and his grandpa. We sit down and look at it together. We'll continue to do so and talk more about it as he's ready in the future.