June 2016 Moms

Not doing enough?

I constantly struggle with the feeling I'm not interacting enough with Levi.  I feel like every minute he is awake I need to be doing something constructive.  Be it neck stretches, tummy time, shaking toys that rattle, play music or light up where he can see them and follow them, just whatever is colorful and has texture that will help him learn something.  But then I think, this kid can't even hold his own head up good yet (just 10 weeks today).  I will just put him in the bouncer while I'm washing dishes or something like that where carrying him in the Boba would just kill my back, but bc of the start of a flat spot I almost hate to put him on his back at all unless I'm actively doing stretches.  As I'm typing this I know I sound crazy but...is it ok to just hold him and let him "just sit there" while we are on the couch watching a show sometimes.  I try not to bc he already watches the TV when he's facing it (not often).  I just feel like if I'm not constantly engaging him he's going to miss a milestone or something, but, I'm tired!  I know, welcome to motherhood. 
Thanks,
Crazy first timer

Re: Not doing enough?

  • You're doing an awesome job and keep reminding yourself of that fact! I feel that way sometimes too though. It's okay to set him down for a few minutes as long as he is safe and happy! I put Damien in the boppy lounger periodically throughout the day to do minor tasks or a quick chore that I don't want to do while he is napping. He has a very noticeable flat spot and while I do try to keep him off of it, sometimes I need a moment to do something and since he haaaates being in a baby carrier I have to put him in the boppy. You aren't causing any harm or hindering his development. 

    When my husband comes home in the evening, he likes to just sit with Damien on his lap and talk/play with him while we watch tv. For a little bit Damien might be facing the tv (he does seem to enjoy it haha) vut since they are playing and shifting positions a lot, he isn't glued to it. Still, it's relaxing for everyone and we still interact with him.
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  • lm45678lm45678 member
    edited September 2016
    I have all the same fears and whenever I say it to DH or my mom they look at me like I'm crazy. I try to keep in mind that everything is stimulating to them and even talking to them or smiling at them is engaging and teaching them something.

    You're doing a great job (someone who wasn't stimulating their baby enough wouldn't give it a second thought to leave them in a chair all day.) Give yourself a pat on the back and have a glass of wine! :)
    Me (31) & DH (32)
    Married 9/27/2014
    DD Born 6/23/16
    Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
  • edited September 2016
    I started back to work this week so he's in daycare from about 6:30am-2:30pm...so when I pick him up I feel like I have to make up for lost time since I'm sure he spends most of the day just in a swing.  

    Edited to add that I tend to fret a little that he isn't doing the things some of the other babies on here are doing, but I have to remind myself that he was born late (July 1st) and he will get there!
  • He will turn out just fine don't worry so much but definitely talk to his daycare about his flat spot. Catching it early is key ask them to do tummy time as much as possible. I'm a STM and although I don't worry about the constant enteraction as much I still worry about flat spots since my son had a really bad one. I let her nap on her belly during the day. I don't think I would feel comfortable letting that happen at daycare but maybe for weekend naps when your home just a thought. 
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  • I will remind them Monday.  At home we try to do tummy or at least side every nap.  Plus him napping on my chest is a good excuse for me to get a couple Z's in or at least take a breather.  
  • I think it's totally ok to give yourself and your LO a break. I was feeling this way for awhile, like I had to constantly be stimulating her but then I realized when I had her laying on the couch that she was
    perfectly happy just looking at the ceiling and wall.
    i think they're can be such a thing as over stimulating and it can very tiring for our LOs so giving them a break can be necessary throughout the day. Plus us mommas need it too!
  • Don't stress too much. This is my third, and half the time I'm just talking to her while I'm occupied with other kids, house stuff, work stuff, etc.

    my truck is to occasionally have one headphone in with a podcast or something while I'm playing with baby. Engages my mind without over stimulating baby, and I can still talk to her etc. 
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  • I think it will be easier when he has better head control and can enjoy his sit me up more. At least I'll feel like he has "something to do" without me being right there constantly.  
  • I think it will be easier when he has better head control and can enjoy his sit me up more. At least I'll feel like he has "something to do" without me being right there constantly.  
    You will my favorite age ever is when they can sit up but not crawl yet it's only a couple months but it's awesome!! 
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  • Lurking from April

    I felt the same way when my LO was a newborn. I felt like I needed to be constantly entertaining him in some way. My DH would lay him in the rnp and I would worry that LO would feel neglected. I think that is partly due to being a new mama and hhormones. LO had a flat spot too that I noticed when he was 3 weeks old. I put him on his tummy for naps and tried to keep him off his back as much as possible, but thats hard with a newborn. He is 5 months old now, rolling everywhere and army crawling (I call it inchworming because he looks like a worm the way he pulls his legs up then reaches out to pull himself forward,  lol) and in the past month his head has rounded out. 

    I also agree it is possible to overstimulate a baby, once I realized that I was able to relax some with trying to keep him entertained 24/7. Also, hold your LO now while you watch tv....while you still can! My LO doesnt like to sit still, he wants to play so the only time I can sit and relax/watch a show is when he is napping. 
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