Desperate mama - help! — The Bump
May 2016 Moms

Desperate mama - help!

LO will be 16 weeks on Thursday.  This all started at about 11.5 weeks.  Prior to that, he slept a 4 hour stretch, a 3 hr stretch and a 2 hour stretch at night and about 1 hr naps during the day.

Now, naps are 20 to 30 min tops no matter what we do (white noise, swaddle, swing, merlin sleep suit, paci, no paci, held in rocker, on chest, etc etc etc ad nauseum.)  at night, he sleeps a 2 hour stretch then is up every 30 minutes to an hour.  Exclusively breast fed but isnt even hungry for most of those wake ups - just awake and crabby.  Sleeps in a pack n play in our room.  Is definitely overtired.

I asked the pediatrician today who said, "yup, 4 month sleep regression, good luck."  NOT helpful. Im exhausted, crabby and worried Im going to screw up at work from sleep deprivation (Im a Veterinarian).

Ive been reading online like crazy and theres so much mixed stuff out there - cry it out, too young for CIO, sleep associations, etc.  Has anyone found anything that worked?  Has anyone actually paid one of the online experts for a consult???  

Im dying over here. 4 weeks into this with no end in sight. And some of the sites said that babies "hit hard" with the regression, like mine is, can do this well into toddlerhood!

Re: Desperate mama - help!

  • NewbySweetNewbySweet member
    250 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2016
    Sorry your going through this but it does sound like sleep regression, sounds like it's hitting you pretty hard. As from my understanding there isn't a great lot you can do, just roll with it until it passes. Is your partner helping with any night feeds or just to entertain him while he wakes in the night? I'm guessing you both work but it shouldn't be your job alone to wake up to him every night. Hope it passes soon. 
    Edit to add I originally missed that your EBF so ignore the part about partner doing night feeds. Still sticking to him waking up and entertaining him and letting you get more sleep. 
  • I just want to fall apart. Its not just that Im working. im also on call so even if I do get some sleep, inevitably the phone rings with someone having an emergency
  • That happened with my first daughter. If she is waking up that frequently, I would let her cry for 5 minutes and see if she can put herself back to sleep. Especially, when you just fed her within the last 3 hrs during overnight hrs (so you know she isn't hungry). I personally, wouldn't do a real CIO sleep training at this age.  Maybe she is waking so frequently, because she doesn't know how to put herself to sleep. Also, have you tried putting LO down drowsy, but awake- so they learn the skill of putting themselves to sleep? That may help as well. That's what I eventually had to do to with my first LO. 

  • If LO was waking up that often but not hungry, I would try doing more tummy time or play gym before bedtime to see if that helps at all. I find that LO sleeps best when he gets all of his energy out before going to sleep.

    Does LO go to daycare? Perhaps his provider can help with the day naps.

    You might also consider moving LO to his own room. My baby started sleeping through the night within a week of being in his room by himself over night. MIL said the smell of my milk had been waking up at night.

    Hopefully this situation will resolve itself soon!
  • My baby outgrew the pack and play right around 4 months. I feared it was sleep regression, but DH suggested her crib. We put her crib in our room, and she's been sleeping 8-9 hrs straight every night since then. I know the pnp has weight limits; she hasn't reached it. I think it just became uncomfortable. She would thrash and it just sounded uncomfortable. Either way, good luck!
  • Our 16 wk LO is in the middle of it too. I agree, you can't stop the waking right now, but you need to work on helping him put himself to sleep. We'd been working on helping him learn to fall asleep on his own for a while (8wks old? Can't remember) by basically not responding to every cry immediately when he'd wake up, and doing Baby whisperer Shush Pat strategy. That took time, but worked for us. Now he's in the middle of the regression waking up every 30-40 mins during day naps and sometimes that often at night, but 80% of the time he falls back asleep on his own without needing us. During the day when he wakes up after 30 mins and is still tired, I often see him just playing in his crib, grabbing his feet, rolling around, playing with his hands, then he'll usually eventually fall asleep again with some vocalizations/whimpers and thumbsucking. (That takes 45 mins tho sometimes!)

    I don't believe in letting him sob alone when he's totally inconsolable, so part of the process for us has been learning to identify the difference between "I'm frustrated bc I'm not asleep and I'm tired but I'm ok" and "I'm totally incapable of soothing myself right now and desperately legit need a parent" and "these are the noises I make as I'm putting myself to sleep" kinds of cries, and not automatically running into his room when he's crying. 

    Baby Whisperer book has been HUGELY helpful for me.
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