Hello friends! I am new here, but have lurked for a bit. I wanted to throw my hat into the ring to perhaps find a bit of support, draw on other people's experiences, etc. Here it goes!
The good: My husband and I have been married (happily) for 4 years, together for 6. We bought a house recently, we are both well employed (he is a physician, I am a tech worker), and we have a very giant, fluffy dog and a less giant but also fluffy cat who we adore. We both want kids, though I feel like my husband doesn't have the anxiety I have over it.
***Triggers below*** There is that, the anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety and depression, and been on medication for my entire adult life. I went, with the help of my doctor, off my meds a year ago, to see what my baseline, non-med self looked like in preparation for a medication free pregnancy. And I look ok. Not great, but ok. I also suffered from a very serious eating disorder, and though it has been some years since things were bad, I worry constantly about my weight and am hugely triggered when people talk about my weight and body. This makes me super anxious about pregnancy. Your body seems to becomes everyone's business. I also was sexually assaulted in college, which I've worked through for the most part, but having strangers touch me can be very upsetting to me. All of this anxiety has caused me to delay our time to to start TTC. I have been meeting with a therapist who specializes in prenatal and postnatal therapy, but I feel like she doesn't take my anxiety seriously. I'm coming to the point where I am realizing I may never lose this anxiety about pregnancy, and just need to accept it and jump in.
I spent a lot of time babysitting, night nannying, and au pairing in college and grad school. I love kids and though I've never been a parent, I have spent a lot of time caring for them.
How have people overcome their anxiety to move to TTC? How have they dealt with their past struggles with their body during pregnancy? I'm in a stable place now, with a loving husband and good financial security, but my core feels so unstable.