Dealing with people that don't respect our rules as Moms

ccarrozza1 · September 2016

So my husband and I work full-time and we both have long commutes. Our nanny has started school and is also working a second job active duty for the army. She told us she would be able to do pick ups from daycare for us when she went back to school but to accomodate her schedule we changed it to drop offs. The deal was that she would pick up my daughter in the morning, my 15 month old, in her Mom's car since her car is a Smart car and not safe for car seat. The daycare started yesterday and already she is having issues getting to pick up the baby.Yesterday she said she couldn't do it because of army. Today she sent her Mom over to pick up the baby in a cab instead...and her Mom ran out the door without a car seat and hopped in a cab with the baby. I told her I didn't feel comfortable with it and she said there was in traffic and was running late and if she was to get there in time, she had to take her in the cab. She told me I was overreacting and too nervous and shouldn't worry because it's bad for my and my baby. Really? I don't have the right to decide how my child is taken care of? Instead I get, You worry too much.

Thoughts on this?

emy730 · September 2016

Fire the nanny and find a new one.

Sorry, but she sounds awful and that's the only way to get something better.

ElleMF728 · September 2016

Yea. I would never be okay with any of my kids not being in a car seat.

ETA: Isn't this illegal? Don't they have to be in car seats?

karaelaine1991 · September 2016

Yeah definitely fire the nanny. This goes beyond not listening to your rules; her and her mom's lack of good judgement is actually endangering your child's life. And, TBH, if she took off in the cab with the baby, I would've taken down the license plate and called the cops. @ElleMF728 is right that no car seats is illegal, (unless cabs have different rules? I've never used one) as is taking your child without your permission to do so (which I'd say taking her in a car without a car seat is, since you told her not to do it).

lydia-deetz · September 2016

Nope. This is not okay and a good indicator that this person is not an appropriate caretaker for your child.

sagoon · September 2016

Fire her for sure. This isn't like she gave your child junk food or let them watch an extra hour of TV - car seat safety is nothing to mess around with. I would also contact the day care and make sure they know that they are not to allow anyone but you/your husband/your (new) nanny pick up your child. Certainly not your nanny's mother.

Also, she should be apologizing to you and promising never to do it again, not telling you you're overreacting and worry too much.

Wholesome · September 2016

Thats much more than not respecting your rules, that's them trying to justify endangering your child for irrelevant reasons... that should scare you. Any nanny needs to have proper reasoning skills and take your kids safety as a priority over anything else.

you clearly had an outlined plan for proper action. If they couldn't follow the plan, they should have communicated it with you so that a suitable alternative could have been arranged. Them justifying irresponsible behavior should make you hear emergency alarm bells - who knows what else is happening that you aren't aware of. Get someone with common sense as soon as possible.

Wholesome · September 2016

Breaking rules is like giving ice cream when it's not allowed, allowing more screen time then allotted, not keeping up with outlined daily routine (like teeth brushing), posting pictures of your kid on their social media, allowing them to watch shows that are not age appropriate or the nanny having unapproved guests over -- those are not following the rules... what this person did is beyond that kind of thing.

ashanne88 · September 2016

WTAF. I agree with PP. Fire the nanny and look for new child care options. This is poor judgement that is actually endangering your child and is illegal. You are absolutely not overreacting.

AlabamaRedhead · September 2016

This is just one's inability to do their job. If she cannot get you kids to school in a safe manner determined by you (and her, not her mother, she is your employee, not her mom) then she can't fulfill the job duties and should be replaced.

katesmama0706 · September 2016

I just wanted to add that if you found this nanny via a service you need to report her

spano41 · September 2016

Ummm...you are your boss. This isn't about respecting your rules as a mom, it's about doing her job correctly. Find a new nanny....no brainer. If she's making decisions like that, who knows what kind of little things she's doing you don't know about. I thought this post was going to be about a MIL giving the kids high fructose corn syrup or something lol!

ThePax89 · September 2016

That's not even a negotiable. She put your child in harms way.
Bye.

scgirl6113 · September 2016

Yeah... You need to fire her. That's is unacceptable. End of story. And her response of you worry too much should be another red flag...No employee should talk to an employer like that.

adorebella · September 2016

I'll echo what everyone else has said. If anyone puts my child in the car without proper restraints they will never care for my child again. I don't care who it is.

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