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January 2017 Moms
laujam31
member
Sprinkle question
laujam31
member
SO my mom wants to throw me one bc this is my first girl after 2 boys. (I've posted about this before) MIL is having some serious medical issues...pnemonia then a shadow on the follow up chest x ray, cat scan- showed something, pet scan that showed a baseball sized mass and now a biopsy. All signs are pointing to lung cancer but we're trying not to jump to the worst case scenario. We should be getting results this week. I told dh that if this is as bad as we are all not saying out loud then I'm going to tell my mom no sprinkle. He said it wasn't neccesary. Opinions are welcome. I think it might be insensitive.
Re: Sprinkle question
Really? I'm afraid it will percieved as selfish
I think a lot of it depends on your families and also the size/scale of the sprinkle. If it's fairly low key and your ILs won't be upset about it then I think it's totally fine to go ahead. And not that it's necessarily ok for anyone to be upset with you for celebrating your new baby, but if your ILs are under a lot of stress, emotions are running high, etc, there's also nothing wrong with being extra sensitive to that and forgoing the sprinkle. On the other hand, your families might appreciate the opportunity to celebrate your new baby and view it as a welcome distraction from the medical concerns.
Fwiw, my FIL was undergoing cancer treatment the year my DH and I got married, and he absolutely would not have wanted to detract from our celebrations in any way. No one was offended that we had bachelor/bachelorette parties, or that I had a shower, and luckily he was doing pretty well by the time the wedding rolled around (and has a clean bill of health as of now). And my MIL is currently facing some serious medical issues, but every time we see or talk to my ILs they ask how I'm doing, and they are genuinely excited about the baby.
My grandmother was dying of lung cancer the year leading up to when I married but we still had an engagement party and a shower. She passed the week of my bachelorette party and we canceled it because of her funeral, but we didn't cancel everything while she was sick. For her, she didn't want to spend her last years on earth around a bunch of sullen people who were already in mourning.
Beta 5/9/2016 BFP!!
Embryo transfer scheduled for April 28, 2016 and beta test May 9, 2016 (day after Mother's Day!)
Transfer Meds include: Lupron Depot (4/1), Minivelle Patch (every 3rd day), Estradiol (3x daily), Amoxicillin, Progesterone in Oil, Methylprednisonlone. Lovenox and baby asprin added after transfer.
3/22/16 - Sono Saline ultrasound cyst to be aspirated on 4/1/16 if not cleared up by 3/29 US - It cleared on its own
Retrieval 3/4/16 - 26 eggs retrieved, 23 mature, 20 fertilized, 14 embryos currently frozen
Starting IVF Stims on +/- Feb 22, 2016
HSG scheduled for 1-26-16 - All clear "beautiful uterus" (though inverted)
Switched clinics and now prepping for IVF in February / March
Trying to conceive since November 2012
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
if they were attending my shower, I'd go out of my way to show them how much I appreciate them spending their time with the family for the event and show them how much it means to me and shower them with little gestures of love when I could.
Due 1/21/17
Beta 5/9/2016 BFP!!
Embryo transfer scheduled for April 28, 2016 and beta test May 9, 2016 (day after Mother's Day!)
Transfer Meds include: Lupron Depot (4/1), Minivelle Patch (every 3rd day), Estradiol (3x daily), Amoxicillin, Progesterone in Oil, Methylprednisonlone. Lovenox and baby asprin added after transfer.
3/22/16 - Sono Saline ultrasound cyst to be aspirated on 4/1/16 if not cleared up by 3/29 US - It cleared on its own
Retrieval 3/4/16 - 26 eggs retrieved, 23 mature, 20 fertilized, 14 embryos currently frozen
Starting IVF Stims on +/- Feb 22, 2016
HSG scheduled for 1-26-16 - All clear "beautiful uterus" (though inverted)
Switched clinics and now prepping for IVF in February / March
Trying to conceive since November 2012
when the news has settled a little more, could you maybe ask her what her feelings are? It doesn't have to even be a question about your sprinkle specifically, just maybe the family could talk about what she prefers in terms of being included in things but not being pushed to overdo it either?
It sounds like you don't know the prognosis yet but if her expected time left is fairly short, I wonder if both you all and she would regret not getting to have memories of her in preparation for this baby if she may not be around for long after the baby is born
and im so sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine.
Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the info. I think that is the same road we are headed down. Hopefully she responds well to treatments.