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March 2017 Moms
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Sad & in need of advice

trambo78trambo78 member
in March 2017 Moms
 My husband and I found out we will be having our second son in March. We were thrilled to hear 3 weeks ago that his sister is also pregnant. (This will be her first.) She and I have had several conversations about pregnancy symptoms and books. Today we called her and she told us she lost the baby. I'm planning on sending her flowers, but don't want to say the wrong thing on the card. Any advice is appreciated. 
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Re: Sad & in need of advice

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  • vino831vino831 member
    @MrsBinPA hit the nail on the head. My SIL actually ended up saying "maybe it just wasn't meant to be...." I was visiting her in Germany. I swear I almost flew home right then.
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  • ngcsugirl1112ngcsugirl1112 member
    The other ladies have given great advice....a simple "I'm so sorry" and letting her know you're there for her will go a long way.  
    Me (37) Hubby (39) Married since 4.2009
    EP:  2.17.2016
    DS:  3.4.2017
    Pregnancy TickerDD: due 7.16.2019


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  • jmacd22jmacd22 member
    Agree with @vino831 my skin would crawl when people would say "maybe it wasn't meant to be" or "everything happens for a reason" so saying sorry for your loss or I'm here if you need me is just about all you can really say. 
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  • onefootinthebayouonefootinthebayou member
    I'm sorry to hear about your SIL.  It's really kind of you to reach out to her and I agree with the others who suggest keeping it simple:  "I'm very sorry for your loss, I'm here for you."  Agree with PPs who said it's easy to fumble saying much else than the most simple, loving sentiment.  I'm in another FB group where a woman who recently suffered a loss said people actually tried to comfort her by saying, "well at least you know you can get pregnant so that's good, right?"  Not that you would say that but just a point to show that even well meaning comments trying to show a "silver lining", if you will, can land with a thud.  

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d2ae4[/img][/url]

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  • liepertsmliepertsm member
    I agree with those who said a simple "I'm so sorry" and letting her know you're there for her. Also remember that it may be hard for her to reach out; it was for me. It really meant a lot to me when my friends would text or call just to ask how I'm doing. From there let her lead the conversation. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Baby Boy: coming March 2017


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  • betsy538betsy538 member
    TW

    I have a friend who recently suffered her second loss. I ordered a keychain from this amazing etsy store of a wing and a pearl (or birthstone) it was beautiful.  I ordered the stone in October's birthstone, which would have been her angel babies birthstone, and is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. She has it on her keys, and was so appreciative of the gesture. 

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    Pregnancy Ticker
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