Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
Last night at dinner he told me he asked his mom when she thinks would be a good time to start trying for a baby to gauge her reaction. (We haven't told ANYONE we are NTNP). Apparently she said something along the lines of "well if she isn't wanting to go back to school right now then it doesn't matter. Watch you and your sister will get pregnant at the same time."
The next thing my husband says is "we need to have a baby before her." My response was "well we are NT right now" he said "Yeah, but we kind of are". He really doesn't get how much work goes into actually trying. I have tried to explain it, but it goes in one ear and right out the other.
I have contemplated buying OPK without telling him, but feel like that would be a betrayal of our agreed NTNP for now.
*edit to add gif expressing my "thought" feelings last night.
I was driving to work this morning listening to my usual morning show. The DJ goes "Hey ladies, how many of you have had itchy boobs in the past week?" I'm like, WTF? He said he had overheard many women in the past week complaining of itchy boobs. The first thing I thought of was the BSC randos posting "My left boob is itchy, could I be pregnant?!?!"
So of course what does the first caller say when he asks if she knows why her boobs are itchy? "I'm pregnant."
I'm still trying to figure out why this was a segment on the show in the first place.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@EEL0824 Watch out for the "We need to get pregnant before so-and-so" stuff! An acquaintance (used to be a friend, long story), before she was actively trying, told everyone she HAD to get pregnant before her sister-in-law so HER child would be her in-laws' favorite grandchild (because that's a thing?). But then her best-laid TTC plans went all to hell and this idea of "we HAVE to have the first grandchild" became a giant burden and added to her disappointment each cycle and of course it didn't actually happen. You do you
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@eggplantface He is more on the "I want to before" train. I have wanted to actually try for a baby for a while, it was only recently that he was OK with me getting my IUD removed to NTNP. It's just frustrating because he just doesn't get it and I don't know that he will. I told him he needed to watch The Great Sperm Race on youtube to educate himself.
I don't feel the need to get pregnant before anyone. I am happy to be pregnant whenever it is intended to happen.
@eggplantface I like selfish reasons! Sounds like the radio station was desperate for content this morning.
I have to preface this by saying that my DH and BIL have been busting their asses to finish DH and my's house. Their work schedule is 8 days on, 6 days off, so they work on the house on their off days.
Anywho, I’m irrationally annoyed at DH and BIL this
morning. They were talking about how they were going to pick up the siding for
the house first thing this morning and get cracking. Well, of course they were
still up drinking at 3 am last night/morning, and who knows how long after that.
So, we’ll see if anything actually gets done today. It wouldn’t bother me so
much, but it happens ALL THE TIME (Ok, maybe only like twice a month). Still, plenty of productive days missed because
they couldn’t be bothered to stop drinking before 4am. Every night that they
talk about ambitious plans for the next day I wanna be like “yeah, that’s not
gonna happen.” Of course I can’t really say anything because BIL is
free labor, and both he and DH do lots of work on the house on their days
off. Not to mention they've been working on this house for over a year on their days off…… so, I’m irrationally annoyed.
@EEL0824 lolwut. Your husband is an idiot. But maybe he'll get into full-swing TTC now?
@eggplantface What a story! BSC takes over the radio...
This competitive "must have grandkids first" thing weirds me out. I thought only my husband's family had weird competitiveness around dumb stuff like that, but from belonging to these boards, I learned it is frighteningly common. His stepsister, the only one with kids so far, actively doesn't want her brother to have kids because she thinks she'll get no attention anymore. I'm always like whaaaaat you thought you were going to be the family's special unicorn forever?
@EEL0824 I want to do a screening of The Great Sperm Race for H but I can't convince him to watch it. I mean, even without needing the information, it's just a great movie. I love how they did it. Like when the sperm are screaming before they get ejaculated? I lost it. It would help him temper his expectations a bit. I'm in the "keep expectations low so I'm not disappointed" camp, and he's just the opposite.
@LuND I'm with you! The frustration of seeing a problem but not feeling it's appropriate to say something is terrible.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
My WTF also goes out to DH- he is 100% on board to TTC. He actually initiated it & got me out of my shell with being "open" in front of family about it (to an extent) well, whenever my MIL and his Grammy make comments about "waiting" or "taking our time and enjoying our marriage" he clams TF up. LIKE NO YOU NEED TO TELL THEM YOU ARE TOTES ON BOARD. Hold your squad down. they probably think I'm some crazy baby lady who is forcing him to TTC.
I mean, MAYBE I could be overthinking that.. But probably not.
@MommytoM13 I totally agree with @adirat that he needs to own it. Especially if he initiated and wants to be open about it with family. That would drive me batty.... and I'd probably end up doing something super mature like calling him out in front of them. Cuz I'm not passive aggressive or anything
@adirat@LuND I totally call him out. And then go BSC every time we leave the house. He apologized and said he would be better about it. Guess that's what happens when you're raised by all women.. You learn to just keep your mouth closed to avoid confrontation *eye roll*
I have a very similar WTF Wednesday to @EEL0824... Also, HI ALL! I took a bit of a bump hiatus!
2 things - 1. We did not have much sex at all this cycle. We tried, and we planned but EVERY day/night something happened... up until the last night of my fertile window, he had too much to drink and couldn't preform. I was BEYOND pissed. 2. Last night I went to bed early because I was just upset about what I feel was a wasted cycle/opportunity, and he says to me... "Just stop tracking your cycle, and let's just do it like we always have... it will just happen."
This has come up a few times since I've been on this site. (Almost 7 months....woof). And as someone whose husband often put his foot in his mouth regarding TTC, I got some really good advice around here. It's easy for guy's to get frustrated easily with trying. So many man (and women for that matter) don't understand that it actually takes TIME and WORK to make a baby. I don't think the majority of people realize a couple sans any IF issues only has a 15-20% chance per cycle of conceiving. We are so used to being told in HS health class that you can get pregnant at any time that it's ingrained in our brains! When MH kept insisting we "just relax" and "it'll happen" I had to put him in his place. I doesn't help to get defensive, because they just don't know, their usually completely ignorant to what goes on with the body. MH was mature enough to listen to me when I explained how the female reproductive system works. And how using OPK's/temping/etc may seem, on the outside, nutty, but that in actuality it's truly the only steadfast way to make sure things are working properly, because science!! When I explained there are only 5 days per month where it could happen for us (that didn't turn out to by the case for us, as you can see in my siggy, but for most women it is!) he really started to understand. It's the men who are immature enough to be grossed out by the female reproductive system that are going to be the ones who have issues. The Amazing Sperm Race is such an incredible TOOL to use with husbands! I highly suggest it if you have a stubborn hubby. Mainly, I suggest patience! It's not stupidity or them being jack-asses, it's ignorance. And dealing with it calmly and controlled will work wonders!! Just my two cents
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
WTF to my next door neighbors who have been doing the loudest construction, Monday-Saturday, for TWO MONTHS. Some days it's so loud that I have to wear ear plugs and put the closed captions on the T.V. Has me sitting here like
DH and I decided we're going to start house hunting after the first of the year. We've started looking online at some listings on Zillow and Realtor.com. We have a very healthy budget and we were expecting to find most of the homes in this price range to be updated and move-in ready. I am shocked at some of these homes. They're ugly and outdated. This is going to be a LONG process.....WTF!
@MrsFL2015 I was also always amazed at the state in which some people allow their home to be photographed! Why would you let someone take pictures of your house with laundry on the floor, or groceries on the counter, etc.? Seems so weird to me!
@MrsFL2015 We just bought and moved into our house after several months of an exhausting house search. Some people are just gross and don't give crap. Good luck!
@eggplantface my great sperm race story is that I started watching it on my phone one night.. a few minutes in he turned the TV down.. am few more minutes he asked if I could tip the phone a little so he could see... and a few more minutes the TV was muted & he was full on watching...
@MrsFL2015 my Dad is a Realtor & I used to help him in the office. You would not believe the types of listing appointments he went on. Or the condition of some of the homes he showed. Sometimes pictures were great & then you got there and BAM. Also, when the market was poor and people had their homes foreclosed on, they got angry. When they get angry they take all the copper piping out of their homes and sell it. It was wild.
Another WTF Wednesday to myself. Totally caved on testing today. 11 DPO. Used a cheap dollar store test and it was *instantly* a BFN.. Came back an hour later and there is a faint faint faint line.. My inner self wants it to be positive but my realistic self knows it's probably an Evap Line.
@EEL0824 DH thought that getting KU would be easy and we wouldn't need to try, basically NTNP. I had him watch The Great Sperm Race and he finally got it.
@MommytoM13 That's annoying that he pushed you to be open about TTC but won't be open himself. I'd be like @LuND too and call him out on it because I don't take shit like that
@EmeraldNC DH was on the "it'll happen on it's own" train until he watched The Great Sperm Race. Now he asks when we have to start BD ED. He's now on board with OPKs and such because I thought I O'd on CD 14 and definitely O'd later because I had a 31 day cycle. If I had used OPKs we possibly could have known and he gets that know. Basically what @mrsdaddario said lol
My WTF Wednesday is CD1 because I feel like absolute shit and I have stuff to do but really don't want to. Also, last night I was planning on having a burger kind oreo shake for dinner (don't judge me) because I asked DH to bring one home. I had his dinner ready for him and he came home without it but I had only made dinner for him so I got stuck eating boring food from the fridge.
@slavenski I've been known to eat a carvel ice cream log for dinner from time to time. Ain't no shame in that game.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@mommytom13 if it makes you feel better, and this is probably a FFC, I got a positive OPK last night way earlier than usual and without any of my normal fertile CM so the BSC took over and even though I know I had my period I started thinking maybe it was just bleeding and since OPK can be used as a pregnancy test in a pinch... I caved to the crazy and tested. BFN, face palm! Rational me knows it's just a false surge but BSC wanting baby me won out briefly.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@wabash15 I did the exact same thing last cycle. I had a triphasic chart, light bleeding - like 2 days instead of 5, crazy sore nipples like I've never had before, and I seriously bloated so badly I looked 5 months pregnant. I even took a pic and showed a bunch of friends who know how bad my reflux can get and they did a double take. BFN of course! I won't let the BSC get to me next time.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
eggplantface
member
Re: WTF Wednesday
My WTF today is my husband. Long story, sorry!
Last night at dinner he told me he asked his mom when she thinks would be a good time to start trying for a baby to gauge her reaction. (We haven't told ANYONE we are NTNP). Apparently she said something along the lines of "well if she isn't wanting to go back to school right now then it doesn't matter. Watch you and your sister will get pregnant at the same time."
The next thing my husband says is "we need to have a baby before her." My response was "well we are NT right now" he said "Yeah, but we kind of are". He really doesn't get how much work goes into actually trying. I have tried to explain it, but it goes in one ear and right out the other.
I have contemplated buying OPK without telling him, but feel like that would be a betrayal of our agreed NTNP for now.
*edit to add gif expressing my "thought" feelings last night.
I was driving to work this morning listening to my usual morning show. The DJ goes "Hey ladies, how many of you have had itchy boobs in the past week?" I'm like, WTF? He said he had overheard many women in the past week complaining of itchy boobs. The first thing I thought of was the BSC randos posting "My left boob is itchy, could I be pregnant?!?!"
So of course what does the first caller say when he asks if she knows why her boobs are itchy? "I'm pregnant."
I'm still trying to figure out why this was a segment on the show in the first place.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
@eggplantface He is more on the "I want to before" train. I have wanted to actually try for a baby for a while, it was only recently that he was OK with me getting my IUD removed to NTNP. It's just frustrating because he just doesn't get it and I don't know that he will. I told him he needed to watch The Great Sperm Race on youtube to educate himself.
I don't feel the need to get pregnant before anyone. I am happy to be pregnant whenever it is intended to happen.
@eggplantface I like selfish reasons! Sounds like the radio station was desperate for content this morning.
I have to preface this by saying that my DH and BIL have been busting their asses to finish DH and my's house. Their work schedule is 8 days on, 6 days off, so they work on the house on their off days.
Anywho, I’m irrationally annoyed at DH and BIL this morning. They were talking about how they were going to pick up the siding for the house first thing this morning and get cracking. Well, of course they were still up drinking at 3 am last night/morning, and who knows how long after that. So, we’ll see if anything actually gets done today. It wouldn’t bother me so much, but it happens ALL THE TIME (Ok, maybe only like twice a month). Still, plenty of productive days missed because they couldn’t be bothered to stop drinking before 4am. Every night that they talk about ambitious plans for the next day I wanna be like “yeah, that’s not gonna happen.” Of course I can’t really say anything because BIL is free labor, and both he and DH do lots of work on the house on their days off. Not to mention they've been working on this house for over a year on their days off…… so, I’m irrationally annoyed.
@Lund the temptation to kick him was real. Also sorry to hear about your DH and BIL, I would be super annoyed too.
@EEL0824 lolwut. Your husband is an idiot. But maybe he'll get into full-swing TTC now?
@eggplantface What a story! BSC takes over the radio...
This competitive "must have grandkids first" thing weirds me out. I thought only my husband's family had weird competitiveness around dumb stuff like that, but from belonging to these boards, I learned it is frighteningly common. His stepsister, the only one with kids so far, actively doesn't want her brother to have kids because she thinks she'll get no attention anymore. I'm always like whaaaaat you thought you were going to be the family's special unicorn forever?
@LuND I'm with you! The frustration of seeing a problem but not feeling it's appropriate to say something is terrible.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
I mean, MAYBE I could be overthinking that.. But probably not.
2 things -
1. We did not have much sex at all this cycle. We tried, and we planned but EVERY day/night something happened... up until the last night of my fertile window, he had too much to drink and couldn't preform. I was BEYOND pissed.
2. Last night I went to bed early because I was just upset about what I feel was a wasted cycle/opportunity, and he says to me... "Just stop tracking your cycle, and let's just do it like we always have... it will just happen."
NO DUDE. That is not how it works.
This has come up a few times since I've been on this site. (Almost 7 months....woof). And as someone whose husband often put his foot in his mouth regarding TTC, I got some really good advice around here. It's easy for guy's to get frustrated easily with trying. So many man (and women for that matter) don't understand that it actually takes TIME and WORK to make a baby. I don't think the majority of people realize a couple sans any IF issues only has a 15-20% chance per cycle of conceiving. We are so used to being told in HS health class that you can get pregnant at any time that it's ingrained in our brains! When MH kept insisting we "just relax" and "it'll happen" I had to put him in his place. I doesn't help to get defensive, because they just don't know, their usually completely ignorant to what goes on with the body. MH was mature enough to listen to me when I explained how the female reproductive system works. And how using OPK's/temping/etc may seem, on the outside, nutty, but that in actuality it's truly the only steadfast way to make sure things are working properly, because science!! When I explained there are only 5 days per month where it could happen for us (that didn't turn out to by the case for us, as you can see in my siggy, but for most women it is!) he really started to understand. It's the men who are immature enough to be grossed out by the female reproductive system that are going to be the ones who have issues. The Amazing Sperm Race is such an incredible TOOL to use with husbands! I highly suggest it if you have a stubborn hubby. Mainly, I suggest patience! It's not stupidity or them being jack-asses, it's ignorance. And dealing with it calmly and controlled will work wonders!! Just my two cents
@mrsdaddario 6th grade health class LIED!
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
@mrsdaddario
WTF are they doing, exactly? Building a rhino cage or something?
DH and I decided we're going to start house hunting after the first of the year. We've started looking online at some listings on Zillow and Realtor.com. We have a very healthy budget and we were expecting to find most of the homes in this price range to be updated and move-in ready. I am shocked at some of these homes. They're ugly and outdated. This is going to be a LONG process.....WTF!
don't give crap. Good luck!
Totally caved on testing today. 11 DPO. Used a cheap dollar store test and it was *instantly* a BFN.. Came back an hour later and there is a faint faint faint line.. My inner self wants it to be positive but my realistic self knows it's probably an Evap Line.
@EEL0824 DH thought that getting KU would be easy and we wouldn't need to try, basically NTNP. I had him watch The Great Sperm Race and he finally got it.
@MommytoM13 That's annoying that he pushed you to be open about TTC but won't be open himself. I'd be like @LuND too and call him out on it because I don't take shit like that
@EmeraldNC DH was on the "it'll happen on it's own" train until he watched The Great Sperm Race. Now he asks when we have to start BD ED. He's now on board with OPKs and such because I thought I O'd on CD 14 and definitely O'd later because I had a 31 day cycle. If I had used OPKs we possibly could have known and he gets that know. Basically what @mrsdaddario said lol
My WTF Wednesday is CD1 because I feel like absolute shit and I have stuff to do but really don't want to. Also, last night I was planning on having a burger kind oreo shake for dinner (don't judge me) because I asked DH to bring one home. I had his dinner ready for him and he came home without it but I had only made dinner for him so I got stuck eating boring food from the fridge.
TTC since August 2018
If I get this error message one more time...
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility