Need Reassurance

tlq0726 · August 2016

My 22 month old is, I hope, going through a phase right now where she only wants her daddy. This has been going on for about 3 months now. During the summer I was off and with her all day, so I understood her wanting daddy all night. But now I'm back at work, and don't see her all day, and she still only wants daddy. Like, it's starting to hurt my feelings and I feel totally left out. Which I know is ridiculous, because she doesn't know what she's doing. I try to brush it off in front of my husband, but it's to the point now that after dinner I just kind of leave them to their own little world. He gets her bathed, diapered, pajamas on, stories, and put to bed all without any inclusion from me. I get a kiss right before bed and that's about it. I know there's no point in trying to get him to understand these feelings, but surely someone here has gone through this. I just need to know that she will, in fact, like me again some day. Thank God for fur babies, am I right???

SmrBrd2012 · August 2016

I'm sorry.

my 15 month old son totally prefers my husband. If sucks but he's just more fun than I am. However it doesn't sound as severe as your situation although I have heard of this happening. Don't leave them to do their own thing! Keep trying and be present for evening activities. Take her to the park or something else she likes. I'm sure it's just a phase like you say.

KaLikeAWind · August 2016

^^ my 14m old seems to prefer my hubs, too. I realize that part of it is that he (ds) sees me all day every day, and sees his dad only every few days (active duty military with a schedule like a fireman, he will be gone 3 days and nights at a time). So we do a lot of 'fun' things with dad and just do 'day to day' stuff with me.

I'm sure this is just a phase as you believe, but maybe try to find something fun that only you and your daughter do together. You've probably thought of that already, sorry. I guess my only real advice is to try and not emote it too much, since kids can pick up on a vibe like that and reflect it back. Maybe try and enjoy your quiet time while they are doing the bath.

Toddlers are so weird. Sometime soon I'm sure she will be clinging to your legs.

tlq0726 · August 2016

Thanks guys, that's what I needed. Last night was actually much better. I think my husband could tell I was starting to feel left out. He told me he was ordering pizza so I wouldn't have to worry about dinner and I just got to play when we got home. We ate on the floor in the living room, and she actually sat with me! I even got some snuggles in

I still didn't get to do bath or bed time, but it was a nice little respite. I'm feeling way better today. Thanks again.

KaLikeAWind · August 2016

^^ maybe you and your husband could switch off dinner prep, so the other has a chance to play. And then whoever made dinner can do the bath while the non dinner maker does post meal cleanup. That way the responsibility and fun are split semi equally.

virginiaunicorn11 · September 2016

It was the opposite in our house, and my husband was hurt. He started joining us for everything he could - baths, bedtime, whatever. And they started having some alone time without me each day. Now our son regularly wants Dada, and is much more willing to be with dada vs only being a complete mama's boy.

Another thing that helped was only having DH do certain special activities - namely, reading a few of our son's favorite books. I won't read them, only dada does, so they can have that together.

Glad you got snuggles and are feeling better! Toddlers, man....!

tlq0726 · September 2016

We actually just found out my husband has been accepted into the trooper academy, so I'm about to get all the toddler bonding time I can handle!!! Six whole months of daddy only being home on the weekends...

KaLikeAWind · September 2016

Congrats to your dh! My husband has a very weird schedule and is gone 2-3 days at a time, all the time. This week he was only home for 2 days (Wednesday and Thursday). It can be a little tough sometimes, not having that extra set of hands, but at least it's only for a finite amount of time. Good luck!

growingournest · November 2016

We held this kind of schedule for a year while my hubby was gone finishing his college degree- my little guy was so happy when daddy was home, but he definitely became a mama's boy!

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