I know many have judged me here but I am asking for support.. I got pregnant back in june. It was a girl. I did the horrid progesterone shots. I was soo sick. vomiting from the beginning. even on Zofran. My husband was a complete jerk to me the entire time. I had just gotten off work since I work in a school and that just seems to make him so jealous since he has to go to work.. I wasn't cleaning much since I just had the transfer and honestly was scared to do too much. I was also so very sick with morning sickness day and night. I would go to my moms house ( a few min away) and just chill there for a few hours and talk to my grandma and nieces. He would say I was ignoring him and not texting him fast enough. He complained that I text them when I am with him and he deserves that same treatment. He also was super crabby that My ten year old was having her cousins at the house.. he said it was too loud, the house is too small... He wanted only one of her friends at a time since it was too loud. All of these things kept happening. I had a hard time kissing him since I was feeling like throwing up.. I told him this.. Apparently he was crabby about this. He was also crabby because I said no to a jeep wrangler convertible and a baby ,, I guess when I got pregnant he realized that he couldn't get it.. He said he was crabby I wouldn't even consider the Jeep. He was being competitive with my daughter and upset one night that I sat next to her when we went out to eat. Said he wasn't gonna go eat anymore. All of these things happened,, and meanwhile I was trying to stay sane on hormones. So long story short- I stopped the progesterone. I was scared to death to have a baby w this man. I lost my baby girl.. This was 7 weeks ago now. I was 9 weeks. I feel like a pos person and I am crying daily. My husband got his Jeep after all.
Now he says he is upset I stopped the shots and he needs to figure out what our plans for future are. He always saw a baby in it... Why was he so miserable the whole time I was pregnant then? Why was he upset over a Jeep then??? Im so sad .. I feel like a horrible person. I can just use some support. I am in counseling and in marriage counseling. His counselor said he has issues with self gratification, WE have barely any money yet he got a car that has a 550$ montly payment and bought 1200$ wheels for it on his cc.. this was his thoughts when I was trying to keep a baby alive. I don't know how to get over this . or how to save my marriage. feeling hopeless.
Re: Lost baby.. could really use support
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)
Listen I'm sorry you're hurting, but I just can't with this. I never EVER like to tell anyone what to do with their relationship, but I can guarantee you that if I was afraid to have a baby with my husband and I became pregnant I would leave him (or take a break/stay with loved ones) rather than intentionally miscarry (if in fact you knew that is what you were doing). I'm sorry if this is harsh and you came here for support, but you intentionally MCed and the women on this board would give anything for a baby. ANYTHING. Take care of yourself (continue to seek professional support), but please be considerate of the women here who are desperately trying for a baby. Again, I'm not trying to kick anyone when they're down, but this really isn't a forum equipped to help this situation and I think there are many other outlets that can give you the support you need.
Me: 28 DH: 33, Married May 2014
3 failed IUIs Dec '15 - Feb '16
IVF April/May 2016 - 1 failed fresh transfer. 11 snow angels.
Lawson arrived on 4/24/2017 at 7lbs 15oz, 21 1/2 inches long!
Surprise pregnancy!! Baby #2 due 10/11/18
**BFP and loss warning**
This is not the place to come for what you need. I have no living children. I have suffered the loss of five babies who I will never know and in the past 10 months haven't been able to get pregnant at all..... and you come in and imply that you voluntarily chose to stop taking meds that sustain your pregnancy because your husband wanted a jeep?
I will hope for all of us who struggle with infertility and/or pregnancy loss that you are not being completely honest about parts of your story. I would rather you be a troll or a liar than what I read above to be true.
You definitely need professional help. For what, I am not so sure, but for whatever it is, I would suggest that you stick to professionals, because I am not sure that anyone here can offer the empathy, advice, or support that you would require.
Please do what you can to get to a better place in your life. No matter what the situation is with your husband, it doesn't sounds like you are ready for the chaos children can bring, so I wish you good luck on working on yourself and your relationship.
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017
May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714
EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL! E. L. A. born 12/7/2017
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