Transitioning LO to New Room with new bed

cluckymama · August 2016

I looked to see if this was posted anywhere yet but didn't see it so sorry if it is out there already! So my daughter is going to be 2 in October and me EDD is March 1. We have started the habit of having her sleep with us every single night. She used to sleep in her own room and sleep through the night but she got diagnosed with cancer at 6 months so we just ended up having her sleep with us at night so we could watch over her. She is doing great now and has been cancer free for a year! YAY! but we would really like to get her sleeping back in her own room. She pretty much refuses to sleep in her crib so we are thinking about transitioning her to a twin bed in a new room as the new babe will be in the nursery when he/she comes along. Anyone else have experience with transitioning a not even 2 year old into a new room/new bed? Advice?

Thanks!

Finallyhismrs07 · August 2016

I have no advice because I am a FTM - But I just wanted to say I am so sorry you guys had to go through that but how wonderful that she is now Cancer Free!!!

Bok Bagok · August 2016

The only tips I have are pretty generic, get her a cute/fun bed or if it's just a regular twin bed frame you could fancy it up with one of those mosquito net hoops. You could let her pick out her sheets too. You could ask her what color she wants her new room and paint it for her. Anything to make it her own and exciting. On Etsy there's tons of cool wall decals to pick from, really anything you can think of they have. Our daughter is 2.5 we moved her into a twin bed at around 20ish months. Sleep with her is constantly changing, she use to fall asleep on her own but now we sit at the edge of her bed until she falls asleep, normally within 15-30 mins. Maybe something gradual like that would work with your daughter?

So great that your daughter has recovered!

MrsNap_515 · August 2016

I'm so happy to hear she's well!! We lived with ILs the first 3 years when DD was born since we were house hunting etc, so when we moved, all she knew was sharing a bedroom with us, so we transitioned her to her new house/new room/new bed, kind of all at once, but I would just sit in her bed with her, snuggle her, until she fell asleep, if she woke in the middle of the night, we just redirected her back, now she's great, I just had to pat her back a little, and she stays in her bed, and knows she can only come in our bed once Mr Sun is out...it wasn't easy, but we did what worked for us, I know some people who just do cold turkey, but I still enjoy sitting with her and snuggling her until she's asleep...shes 4...I will only get these nights for a short while before she starts kicking me out, so I will take advantage as long as I can!

vino831 · August 2016

Wow I can't imagine going through that with your little one. So wonderful she's been cancer free!!!

So a few weeks ago I had two sessions with a sleep consultant. One was for my son's ahe range at the time (10 mo) the other was specifically geared towards the transition from bed sharing to crib/floor bed.

Here are some of the notes I have (some might not apply to you but I'll include them all jic it might for another mama. I'm sure there are different considerations for your lo sonce she is older but we've already started some of thsee practices with ours and the floor bed and so far so good. We'll start the formal -no ending up in our bed rotine- after he's a year.

- don't do it until after 12 mo (it will be most difficult to change babies sleep habits between 9 and 12 mo.)

- set a day to do it - typically a Friday is best. (Her point was not to do it when your fed up and tired. Set a schedule and know what your plan is)

- make babies bed as comfortable as yours. Matterss pad for example. (Black out curtains, absolutely zero lights, sound machine)

- weeks ahead of your planned date start putting toys in babies bed space so crib is a fun happy place for lp.

- plan to sleep on the floor to be there at quickly least for about 3 nights.

- it takes 3-5 nights for this new sleep habit to form.

- there will be a regression between 9-11 days. Don't give up. Keep with the same thing you were doing.

- don't cave or you will have to start over.

- after lo is sick or has been traveling you might need to start over.

- the time they go to sleep isnt as important as having a rock solid routine.

-each adult can have a slightly different routine (mom, dad, grandma) but that adult must stick to that routine.

-start this process at least 3 mo before #2 arrives.

Hope some of this helps!

wintersong · August 2016

Wow, what a crazy journey for first time parrents! I'm so glad your little is doing well now.

Don't feel like you have to explain her "habit:" lots of parents bedshare for a variety of reasons, and it sounds like this was the best way to keep your family safe and sane.

I'm not an expert by any means, but here are some thoughts. Take em or leave em.

1. Start the transition sooner rather than later. You definitely want to be done a couple of months before the baby arrives.

2. Floor beds make for easy transitions because you can climb in and out as needed.

3. Let your daughter help you pick out sheets and a special pillow!

4. Baby hate indoorway can keep her from wandering but also let you hear her. (some kids get freaked out when the door is closed...mine doesnt, so I just shut him in)

5. Explain everything in simple words. Talk about it a week ahead of time. "Soon you will sleep in a special bed that is just for you." etc etc. You could even make a "book" in Microsoft word with pictures of bedsharinh and sleeping alone and use her name. You could even get really fancy and do a photo shoot to make pictures.

6. Some parents choose to keep bedsharinh because they figure if it ain't broke don't fix it. You can take the front off of many cribs and wedge it against the adult mattress (sidecar the crib). Your want to make sure there is no gap for baby to fall in, so you have to somehow wedge your mattress against it. They also make cosleepers like the arms reach cosleeper that do the same thing. Toddler sleeps between parents, baby in sidecar. (youd never want to let the toddler and baby sleep together in the bed alone.)

7. If your moving your daughter to her own room, and your husband isn't very involved at bed time, this would be a good opportunity to change that.

8. Your daughter will probably be super upset, which is understandable and hard. However you plan to help her with these feelings, be consistent. You will probably miss out on sleep for a couple of weeks!

ETA
9. Maybe you could start out with naps in the new bed, then try nighttime.

wintersong · August 2016

Last post was getting too long so I thought I'd start over. Here is my anecdotal experience so far:

My son moved into our bed at about 2.5 m9nths because I was nursing and too tired to stumble the literally 4 feet to his crib in our room. After I woke up having accidentally fallen asleep nursing him, once in a rocking chair, I was really scared, so I just set up a safe Cosleeping environment so that couldn't happen again. We coslept until 9ish months and loved it. BUT at around that time it started to be very difficult for us all to sleep together because my son wears a heavy metal and hard plastic brace for his clubfoot, and he was walloping us every night with it.

We moved him to a double mattress on the floor. Because I was still nursing several times at night, usually I would stay out the night with my husband and on the first wakeup move to his room for the night. Now I still nurse at night but am able to quickly return to bed with my H. As My milk is drying up he is finding nursing less and less rewarding, and accepting dad to help fall back asleep more.

He is not always okay with this change. Sometimes he screams and cries when I say that "I can't nurse because my nursies have owies right now." H and I just empathize with his feelings until he gets his anger out then he is ready to accept cuddles and water. Sometimes if it's really bad we have to turn on a soft light and cuddle in another room before he is ready to return. We are still in the middle of this gradual night weaning transition ourselves, so I definitely anticipate more big feelings from my 18 month old before its all said and done. I have been relying a lot if advice and mantras from Janet Lansbury's blog and Facebook page.

jem89 · August 2016

First of all, I should say that I feel for you in trying to wean her from sleeping in your bed. It has been a challenge for me since my 3 yr old moved into my bed at the beginning of the summer and I let it happen due to my MS (aka too sick and pooped to fight it).
However, we had issues with DD1 in her crib by the time she was 1 yr old and DD2 was born shortly after so we needed the crib anyway. We got her a new car bed in a new bedroom and made it super exciting!! She was so thrilled and it worked until this summer lol.
Best of luck!!!

Lexxilou1986 · August 2016

I'm in a similar situation. My son will be 2 in October and I'm due March 20th. He has been in his own room/crib since 1 month and does great but has never (at least since he turned a year) slept anywhere other than a crib, packnplay or car seat (while riding). His crib converts to a toddler bed but eventually we will need it (and the nursery) for the new baby. So I guess my question is, should we convert to toddler bed in nursery for awhile and then to floor bed in new room, or just go directly to new room/floor bed?

To help with the original question, a good friend just moved her 20 month old to new room and he's done very well. They bought a Thomas train bed and installed a video monitor to help keep an eye on hi in the new room. They said sometimes he ends up getting up and playing for awhile or sleeping on the floor, but the key was super baby proofing so you don't have to worry too much.

wintersong · August 2016

@Lexxilou1986 I'd just go straight to a bed. Fewer transitions would be easier I think.

cluckymama · August 2016

Thanks for the advice ladies! We will for sure being trying some of this out! My husband was just saying that our next project was going to be getting her room ready so we can start trying to transition her. Good luck to all the other mommas that are going through this too! This was really helpful!

hippiemama-2 · August 2016

I feel you on this topic. We've gone back and forth between co-sleeping and semi-sleep training our DD. The sleep training all happened before 16 months and ever since, she has been sleeping in our bed. Its not ideal space-wise and I'd love to get back to a routine where she is comfortable in her own bed, but for the time being - I don't mind cuddling her. Its definitely something we'll need to work on before the baby is born because I can't imagine waking her up all night long with the infant nighttime feedings. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but all I have is wishes of luck for the both of us!

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