@camichael84 & @KimmySchmidt think about it with the pictures though, you already know how your body will change. Last pregnancy, it was all new and you had no idea what you would look like with a pregnant belly. Now you do. I too have STM guilt though. I keep thinking of the things that I usually handle for DD1 that H will probably need to take over, like baths. I do our bedtime routine, because I enjoy it, but when it's bath night, the routine takes a long time, because I still rock her and will rock her until the day she won't let me anymore. I also feel really guilty about wanting to keep her going to daycare while I'm on maternity leave.
All this his to say, welcome to the rest of your life. Haha I think we will always feel guilty about something, because we love them so much and never want them to feel sad or hurt because of something we did.
@camichael84 & @KimmySchmidt think about it with the pictures though, you already know how your body will change. Last pregnancy, it was all new and you had no idea what you would look like with a pregnant belly. Now you do. I too have STM guilt though. I keep thinking of the things that I usually handle for DD1 that H will probably need to take over, like baths. I do our bedtime routine, because I enjoy it, but when it's bath night, the routine takes a long time, because I still rock her and will rock her until the day she won't let me anymore. I also feel really guilty about wanting to keep her going to daycare while I'm on maternity leave.
All this his to say, welcome to the rest of your life. Haha I think we will always feel guilty about something, because we love them so much and never want them to feel sad or hurt because of something we did.
This is my biggest mental struggle... thinking of dropping off E at daycare then going back home with baby brother.. like I feel like I'll be sneaking off and spending time at home behind his back. My husband drops him off at daycare and goes home at least 1 day per week, and is totally fine with that - I've never had him at daycare while I've been at home and I just don't know how to feel about that - add on top of it that I'll be at home with another baby. Wahhh.
Guys.. I moved Emmett's carseat to the passenger side, and installed the base and mirror on the other side yesterday. Don't even have the infant seat in, just the base for it and had a "Sh*t just got real!!" moment of us being a family of 4.
@AnnaS930 that's exactly how I feel, like im dropping her off because I don't want to deal with her. When in reality, I sort of am, but I don't want her to feel that way. And I know she won't because she will have no idea what I'm doing while she's at daycare. Uuuuugh the guilt. I've had a lot of moms tell me their oldest went to daycare too while they stayed home. And I definitely plan to do special things with her while I'm on leave...I think the guilt is just going to be there forever.
Guys.. I moved Emmett's carseat to the passenger side, and installed the base and mirror on the other side yesterday. Don't even have the infant seat in, just the base for it and had a "Sh*t just got real!!" moment of us being a family of 4.
Hearing this phrase is always a "shit got real" moment for me! DH was looking at some coupons for Steak n Shake, and found a family of 4 coupon. He said that'd be great for when the girls are bigger. All I could focus on was that we are soon going to be a family of four. Somehow going from 3 to 4 sounds like a huge difference in my mind!
@MrsVoorhees - Yes absolutely. I think that our older kiddos would rather be at daycare playing with buddies, getting energy out, etc. a lot of the days versus hanging out at home with an exhausted mama and a screaming little sibling. Also, I keep telling myself that I do owe it to baby #2 to give some undivided attention during those early days/weeks. It's so funny because I don't feel guilty about him going to daycare while I'm at work, I actually love the thought of him there (sure I miss him from time to time) but he's so happy there. Blah.
I have a sister 2 years older than me and it was the absolute best growing up with someone so close and she has become my best friend as we've grown older. Mommy guilt is natural and normal, but let's not let it consume us!
@MrsVoorhees@AnnaS930 my thoughts regarding continuing to send Reese to school while I'm on maternity leave - she loves it, she has friends, a routine and she's learning a lot there. Also, baby number 2 deserves to have some of my undivided attention the way Reese did. I think the alone time is really important when it comes to forming a bond with your newborn and getting a routine down. I'm still debating on cutting back Reese's hours, whether it's still five days a week but shorter days or full days and three days a week. No guilt, ladies!
@PSUBecky23 - Thanks mama! Emmett currently goes 7:30-4, four days a week.. I plan to keep him at that, but also intend to pull him out some days and/or pick him up early if we have little outings planned. The toddler room that he's in encourages kids to go the majority of the week to keep routines, which makes sense to me.
Also.. my husband said when he goes back to work he's going to request to have Sundays and Wednesdays off! He sometimes has a Wednesday or weekend day off, but we also go weeks where he has none of those days off and it's just me and the kiddo. It would be amazing to actually get 2 days a week where our whole family is off together... I'm nearly jumping for joy at the thought of it.
And trust me, I'm no fool - the prospect of having Sundays off during football season I'm SURE weighed in on his idea...
@camichael84 - I think growing up in a family of 4, and with a lot of my friends being of the same it just feels like a "normal family unit" to me. My husband was an only child.. I can't wait to see how he reacts and fits into the 4 person family club. Having Emmett certainly made us feel complete as a couple, us and our baby... something about Emmett becoming a sibling and having another feels like my definition of "family".. hard to explain, but I'm SO EXCITED.
Jumping on the mom guilt train. Sending dd to daycare while I stay home is neccesary for my sanity, but does make me feel guilty. I also feel bad bc while I'm trying to soak up the last few days with her being a family of 3, she's been extra crazy lately/I have no energy, so I end up getting frustrated.
thanks for all the solidarity about the rls, that shiz blows! I really do think the unisom is making it worse. after a hot bath I was able to go to bed... Only like 4 hours after the first try!
allll the mom guilt over here. So much. All the time. About everything.
@seitzy3 good luck today! Can't wait to see that beautiful baby girl!
After like 4 nights in a row of sleeping about 3 hours, last night I slept like 11 hours in a row (not counting trips to the whiz palace). I feel awesome.
re: nitrous, I don't think they offer it here either but on "Call the Midwife" which I think is set in the 50s? 60s? in England, they use it all the time and it looks like it works really well. Obviously it's just a TV show, but I still wish it were an option here.
Going to scanning all day for news from @kosmo86 and @seitzy3 ! So happy for your both that you get to meet your little babies today!!!
To all the mamas struggling with STM guilt: it never really goes away, but it does get more manageable. Keeping your older kids in daycare and their routine is actually for their benefit. Like @PSUBecky23 said - having friends and a routine is so important for them. Even good stress is still stress, so if you can keep a constant for them, their little lives are a little less chaotic with the newness of everything.
Im feeling ultra productive at work today, so I'm off to keep that momentum!
Wife to A; Mama to C (2009), N (2011), H (2014) & baby F due 09/16/16
@seitzy3 - Good luck today!! Very excited for you!
@kosmo86 - I hope Alice has made her debut or does very soon!
@camichael84 - I appreciate the thoughts. It's been easier to control but now it's finding what my new normal was. My body has been through so many changes recently which means that there have been a ton of adjustments to my pump. Just gotta keep at it.
@camichael84 - I think growing up in a family of 4, and with a lot of my friends being of the same it just feels like a "normal family unit" to me. My husband was an only child.. I can't wait to see how he reacts and fits into the 4 person family club. Having Emmett certainly made us feel complete as a couple, us and our baby... something about Emmett becoming a sibling and having another feels like my definition of "family".. hard to explain, but I'm SO EXCITED.
Having grown up in a family as four as well, it also fits my definition of "family", and I think that's actually what is freaking me out about it. Of course we we a family when it was just DH and I. Then still a family once we had McKenna. But having four of us has this complete feeling to it (again, likely because my family was 4). To be fair, I was probably having a similar freak out going from the 2 of us to a family of 3, and just don't remember it well!
@camichael84 & @KimmySchmidt think about it with the pictures though, you already know how your body will change. Last pregnancy, it was all new and you had no idea what you would look like with a pregnant belly. Now you do. I too have STM guilt though. I keep thinking of the things that I usually handle for DD1 that H will probably need to take over, like baths. I do our bedtime routine, because I enjoy it, but when it's bath night, the routine takes a long time, because I still rock her and will rock her until the day she won't let me anymore. I also feel really guilty about wanting to keep her going to daycare while I'm on maternity leave.
All this his to say, welcome to the rest of your life. Haha I think we will always feel guilty about something, because we love them so much and never want them to feel sad or hurt because of something we did.
This is my biggest mental struggle... thinking of dropping off E at daycare then going back home with baby brother.. like I feel like I'll be sneaking off and spending time at home behind his back. My husband drops him off at daycare and goes home at least 1 day per week, and is totally fine with that - I've never had him at daycare while I've been at home and I just don't know how to feel about that - add on top of it that I'll be at home with another baby. Wahhh.
@AnnaS930 My mom put it another way - that's always made sense to me. Your first born got solo time when they first arrived home, why can't your second (and subsequent born children) get that same same special bonding time with you? Besides, it helps your eldest to keep a schedule, knowing that although they have a new sibling and some things are going to change, their specific routine you've set for them won't. Look at it this way: If you kept him home, it'd be more change for him to handle, something else the new sibling is disrupting. By keeping him at daycare you're keeping his routine familiar to him AND allowing yourself and your new son that bonding time you were able to enjoy with E.
@PSUBecky23 - Thanks mama! Emmett currently goes 7:30-4, four days a week.. I plan to keep him at that, but also intend to pull him out some days and/or pick him up early if we have little outings planned. The toddler room that he's in encourages kids to go the majority of the week to keep routines, which makes sense to me.
Also.. my husband said when he goes back to work he's going to request to have Sundays and Wednesdays off! He sometimes has a Wednesday or weekend day off, but we also go weeks where he has none of those days off and it's just me and the kiddo. It would be amazing to actually get 2 days a week where our whole family is off together... I'm nearly jumping for joy at the thought of it.
And trust me, I'm no fool - the prospect of having Sundays off during football season I'm SURE weighed in on his idea...
Hahaha! This would totally be my husbands actual reasoning too, but he'd spin it as a 'family day off' as well.
I want to nap all day *sigh*. Couldn't fall asleep until after 3am only to wake up at 7 after having gotten up twice to pee anyway. This happens pretty much every day but ugh. I just hate feeling like I'm dragging. But what else is new?
I don't have a lot of guilt over sending DS to daycare while on my maternity leave. He thrives in his routine and I don't want to upset that. Plus I want to bond with the baby uninterrupted. It would be so exhausting to try have both kids home with me all day. And my husband and I decided a long time ago that we were going to have 2 kids, so after DS came along, I still felt like our family was incomplete. Now that we are so close to being a family of 4, it feels satisfying more than scary.
@marajay6 I feel similar to you in terms of sending DD to daycare. It'll be good for her and good for baby and I. I worry a tiny, tiny bit that she might "figure out" that while she's in daycare all day, I'm home alone with baby and feel left out. But I hope to do other things and carve special one on one time with her as much as possible while I'm on leave so hopefully it will be a fine balance.
@jas1982 regarding sleep- I've gotten 4 hours the last 3 nights according to my Fitbit and I was a raging hormonal B. Last night I only got up once at 1 to pee, but slept 10 HOURS!!!! Ridiculous. What a difference it can make, eh?!
there was more, but I don't remember. Morning y'all!
edit: it was @ashley(bunch of numbers). I'm on mobile and can't find the tag but Congrats! Sounds like it was an eventful delivery. She's so sweet and happy you can hold her now
@marajay6 - I think this is a lot of me too.. I've always wanted 2 kids (or possibly 3), so having 1 was amazing and filled my heart, but still knew/hoped that we weren't done yet. Now I am looking forward to having 2 boys less than 2 years apart for the rest of our lives.. makes a huge difference to know it's happening.
@JennM205 - I worry about the same thing, but 12 weeks down the road, little bro will be getting dropped off in the room next door to him, so that's probably all he'll remember as he gets older - the 2 of them going together.
Currently enjoying a Dannon Light&Fit greek Pumpkin Pie yogurt. It's not as good as the real thing.. but it's filling a little piece of Fall craving for me. 9 grams of carbs.. might fill a sweet craving for those of you watching your intake...
I'm on my way to get my tooth pulled that was supposed to come out a month ago. I don't wanna....
I genuinely feel sad and anxious for you. I've had way more than my fair share of dental work since I was missing a tooth. Getting work done at the dentist really is the worst! I hope it goes smoothly and you have no discomfort!
I am so excited that we are going to be a family of 4! I grew up as an only child with a single mom. Granted my dad had two other kids 6 and 8 years younger than me, but I only saw them 2 days per month at best and we aren't close at all now. In a selfish way I am looking forward to having the family unit I didn't have growing up, and being able to give my kids that experience as well. Don't get me wrong, my mom did a great job but I know it was hard on her to raise me all by herself, and as an adult I wish I had a sibling (or more) closer in age who I had grown up side-by-side with. So much respect for single parents.
ETA my mom has told me she still has major mom guilt that she didn't have more kids. I don't think mom guilt ever goes away.
This probably should go in a Monday bitch fest or something but I need to vent y'all. My mom and brother got into town yesterday afternoon, they live 4 hours away but both came up to spend a week here and stay at my house to keep my 3 year old while I'm in the hospital having baby #2. My brother immediately took over DD and my mom started cooking and cleaning and sent DH and I out on a last date night before the baby, I was so thankful! Fast forward to me in the middle of a pedicure DH decided I deserved before dinner and my dad calls me. He's super pissed that "his son" has been in town for hours and he had to find out through Facebook not a phone call, they had only been here like 4 hours at this point, then he proceeds to go off about since he never gets to see my brother so it's only fair that while he's in town he should come spend tomorrow night at his house and all of Friday with him! First of all my brother is 23 freaking years old and a grown man, this isn't some custody battle where you can demand he come stay. Second of all I leave at 3:30 in the morning Friday to have my c section. The whole point of my brother coming was to help my mom take care of my daughter. My mom is fully capable of her basic needs but she can't lift her and she gets tired easily so he's here to do all of the running around & playing with the 3 year old full of energy. My dad and stepmother have known for a month now that they were coming up for specifically this reason so I'm just completely upset that they would kick up this kind of drama TWO days before I give birth. It also bothers me that they are so concerned with forcing my brother to spend time with them but have no regard for the fact that I'm fixing to give birth to their second grandchild! I'm at the point I'm so emotional about this birth that I don't even know how to feel about it all. For anyone who got through that wall of text I applaud you. Like I said before I just needed to rant for a minute.
@VeraMali - Absolutely not. Brother is here to help you and mom out, not to go entertain your dad. The first problem is that your father is being selfish and needs to arrange his own time to see your brother, and the second problem is that you should not be brought into the middle of it. I hope you were able to tell dad why brother is here and that the conversation ended with a "call your son and work it out with him, but I'm about to have a baby and I need the peace of mind that he's helping out tonight and the coming days/nights while I'm in the hospital"
Boo, dad. Something else going on here that he's bitter about? Would dad/stepmom have wanted to be asked to take care of your daughter?
@VeraMali All I can offer in some internet hugs and support. It's amazing what a blessing and a frustration family can be! Rant away...this is why we are here And besides, you have a big day coming up tomorrow. Hope your brother sticks up for himself and gives your mom a hand like intended.
Thanks @geminigirl16 and @AnnaS930 the conversation did end with a "call your son" but I was too upset at the time to put any sarcasm in it that it deserved. I don't know what is going on with my dad and stepmother, we lived near my brother and mom until January when we inherited a house up here near my dad. We were hesitant to move but thought it was a great opportunity at the time and my dad & stepmother seemed so eager to get to be grandparents for real. We've been here almost 9 months now and they haven't offered to even take her out to lunch. They rarely come by to visit and if they do my dad never gets out of the car and makes me bring DD out to him. It totally breaks my heart the way they are behaving because they didn't used to be this way. My dad won a very large settlement last year and since they came into money they have become very different people.
@VeraMali So sorry your dad is stirring things up the day you before you're going in to have a baby. I hope your brother put his foot down about the fact that he is there right now to help you because you are about to give birth to a child.
@VeraMali yuck. I'm sorry your dad is acting so selfish and inconsiderate. You have enough to worry about right now! Hopefully your brother will deal with him and let him know he is there to help you (which is more than your dad is doing!).
Hello. Didn't realized I didn't log in for a couple days, skimming mostly sorry, but sooo cute three new babies and from what I've read two more today. I blame the new bump homepage and being able to click directly to our page from some randoms. I'm so impressed on how you ladies are holding up, I feel like a lazy wimp with 4.5 weeks left. To make it worse I'm pretty sure I have PUPPP, the last week has been a miserable itch fest which has left me fully drained and caring only about my self, sorry friends. I cannot wait to feel like myself again. Ok, getting up from my pitty pot and going to move on.
@Steephers123 - I'm a fan of any and all things Teen Mom. Actually expected your post to be about OG since I was digging the 2 hours this week.. was fantastic evening spent with a container of gelato, toddler asleep, husband at work and my feet up.
As for Janelle.. I did see that! I try, for the most part, not to follow them in real time because I like seeing it on the show, but details like this are good regardless of the timing. She's about to have 3 kiddos by 3 different fathers, which.. Sorry but I am judging a bit given how close in age they are. I wouldn't be terrible surprised to see Leah and/or Kailyn in the same situation.. that whole season is one big hot mess.
Re: August Randoms!!!
change. Last pregnancy, it was all new and you had no idea what you would look like with a pregnant belly. Now you do. I too have STM guilt though. I keep thinking of the things that I usually handle for DD1 that H will probably need to take over, like baths. I do
our bedtime routine, because I enjoy it, but when it's bath night, the routine takes a long time, because I still rock her and will rock her until the day she won't let me anymore. I also feel really guilty about wanting to keep her going to daycare while I'm on maternity leave.
All this his to say, welcome to the rest of your life. Haha I think we will always feel guilty about something, because we love them so much and never want them to feel sad or hurt because of something we did.
@AshleyB09042015 Congrats, Mama! She's beautiful!
I have a sister 2 years older than me and it was the absolute best growing up with someone so close and she has become my best friend as we've grown older. Mommy guilt is natural and normal, but let's not let it consume us!
Also.. my husband said when he goes back to work he's going to request to have Sundays and Wednesdays off! He sometimes has a Wednesday or weekend day off, but we also go weeks where he has none of those days off and it's just me and the kiddo. It would be amazing to actually get 2 days a week where our whole family is off together... I'm nearly jumping for joy at the thought of it.
And trust me, I'm no fool - the prospect of having Sundays off during football season I'm SURE weighed in on his idea...
I'm on my way to get my tooth pulled that was supposed to come out a month ago. I don't wanna....
Having Emmett certainly made us feel complete as a couple, us and our baby... something about Emmett becoming a sibling and having another feels like my definition of "family".. hard to explain, but I'm SO EXCITED.
July: Patriotic Fails
thanks for all the solidarity about the rls, that shiz blows! I really do think the unisom is making it worse. after a hot bath I was able to go to bed... Only like 4 hours after the first try!
allll the mom guilt over here. So much. All the time. About everything.
@seitzy3 good luck today! Can't wait to see that beautiful baby girl!
re: nitrous, I don't think they offer it here either but on "Call the Midwife" which I think is set in the 50s? 60s? in England, they use it all the time and it looks like it works really well. Obviously it's just a TV show, but I still wish it were an option here.
Going to scanning all day for news from @kosmo86 and @seitzy3 ! So happy for your both that you get to meet your little babies today!!!
@fireflygirl12 where are you? I know you were having contractions and such a little bit ago. Hope everything is all good!
@AshleyB09042015 congrats! She's beautiful
To all the mamas struggling with STM guilt: it never really goes away, but it does get more manageable. Keeping your older kids in daycare and their routine is actually for their benefit. Like @PSUBecky23 said - having friends and a routine is so important for them. Even good stress is still stress, so if you can keep a constant for them, their little lives are a little less chaotic with the newness of everything.
Im feeling ultra productive at work today, so I'm off to keep that momentum!
@kosmo86 - I hope Alice has made her debut or does very soon!
@camichael84 - I appreciate the thoughts. It's been easier to control but now it's finding what my new normal was. My body has been through so many changes recently which means that there have been a ton of adjustments to my pump. Just gotta keep at it.
@UnwritteN12 thinking of you. I absolutely dread dental work (aside from cleanings) so I feel for you today. Hoping it goes smoothly.
@AshleyB09042015 what a beautiful baby girl! Congratulations!
@kosmo86 Hope you're holding Alice right now
@seitzy3 Good luck mama! Woot!
@jas1982 regarding sleep- I've gotten 4 hours the last 3 nights according to my Fitbit and I was a raging hormonal B. Last night I only got up once at 1 to pee, but slept 10 HOURS!!!! Ridiculous. What a difference it can make, eh?!
there was more, but I don't remember. Morning y'all!
edit: it was @ashley(bunch of numbers). I'm on mobile and can't find the tag but Congrats! Sounds like it was an eventful delivery. She's so sweet and happy you can hold her now
@JennM205 - I worry about the same thing, but 12 weeks down the road, little bro will be getting dropped off in the room next door to him, so that's probably all he'll remember as he gets older - the 2 of them going together.
ETA my mom has told me she still has major mom guilt that she didn't have more kids. I don't think mom guilt ever goes away.
@AshleyB09042015 congrats! Hope you're feeling ok!
First of all my brother is 23 freaking years old and a grown man, this isn't some custody battle where you can demand he come stay. Second of all I leave at 3:30 in the morning Friday to have my c section. The whole point of my brother coming was to help my mom take care of my daughter. My mom is fully capable of her basic needs but she can't lift her and she gets tired easily so he's here to do all of the running around & playing with the 3 year old full of energy. My dad and stepmother have known for a month now that they were coming up for specifically this reason so I'm just completely upset that they would kick up this kind of drama TWO days before I give birth. It also bothers me that they are so concerned with forcing my brother to spend time with them but have no regard for the fact that I'm fixing to give birth to their second grandchild! I'm at the point I'm so emotional about this birth that I don't even know how to feel about it all.
For anyone who got through that wall of text I applaud you. Like I said before I just needed to rant for a minute.
Boo, dad. Something else going on here that he's bitter about? Would dad/stepmom have wanted to be asked to take care of your daughter?
Random: I know there are some other Teen Mom (2) guilty pleasure watchers on here. Did anyone see that Jenelle is pregnant again with baby #3??
July: Patriotic Fails
As for Janelle.. I did see that! I try, for the most part, not to follow them in real time because I like seeing it on the show, but details like this are good regardless of the timing. She's about to have 3 kiddos by 3 different fathers, which.. Sorry but I am judging a bit given how close in age they are. I wouldn't be terrible surprised to see Leah and/or Kailyn in the same situation.. that whole season is one big hot mess.