How did your SO/husband act about the delivery of your first baby...did they try and choose a delivery method they think was best or have alot of fears or opinions, etc?
@BlondePeanut I think my husband has more fears/feelings about it the second time around because he really didn't give much thought to the role he had before my labor the first time. He had no idea what he should be doing and said he felt so uncomfortable just watching me in pain and didn't want to do or say the wrong thing. Is your husband being apathetic about it or too involved?
Also something kind of random about husbands during labor. Make sure you bring legit food and snacks for them or have a way to get them food and snacks. I warned my husband about this before and he didn't really heed my warning. Well he ended up having to leave me alone to get food while I was having major contractions because he was starving. I'm pretty sure he sprinted through the hospital because he wasn't gone for long but I know he still feels terrible about it. He warns all future dads about this.
Thank you @homemake He doesn't know what to expect, and he has fears of me getting injured or permanent issues from vaginal birth and never wanting to be intimate with him again, or issues healing from c-section. And now that my fears have dulled and I just want to meet the baby and I know either way I will be just fine.....he is almost traumatized with fear. I don't know if I should ask my Dr to talk with him or how to calm his worries. I think him being out of control of the situation is the biggest problem, and he is worried about keeping me and the baby safe. Oh great tip on the snacks! Our hospital has a great cafeteria, but I know he won't want to leave at any point because he has to be the protector.
@BlondePeanut I think my husband has more fears/feelings about it the second time around because he really didn't give much thought to the role he had before my labor the first time. He had no idea what he should be doing and said he felt so uncomfortable just watching me in pain and didn't want to do or say the wrong thing. Is your husband being apathetic about it or too involved?
Also something kind of random about husbands during labor. Make sure you bring legit food and snacks for them or have a way to get them food and snacks. I warned my husband about this before and he didn't really heed my warning. Well he ended up having to leave me alone to get food while I was having major contractions because he was starving. I'm pretty sure he sprinted through the hospital because he wasn't gone for long but I know he still feels terrible about it. He warns all future dads about this.
Re:snacks H left me to go get lunch shortly after I got my epidural. Before my epidural I was stalled at 2 cm and just wanted a nap. He was gone maybe 30 minutes, when he came back I was at 8/9 cms and a nurse passed him in the hall and said "your wife has a surprise for you" meaning I had progressed a lot finally! But he thought I had the baby while he was at lunch and came flying into the room out of breath. We will definitely be packing snacks this time.
@BlondePeanut I really recommend this book for dad's to be. When I first looked at it for DH I wasn't sure if it was legit or a joke and honestly it's a little bit of both which is why I think he liked it so much. To be completely honest, I referred back to it a few times after having DD because it gets to the point and has some more practical tips than a lot of the mommy books. It's also a whole lot smaller than most mommy books at only 240 pages with a lot of illustrations.
I think it does a good job for prepping dad's for a general what to expect while keeping it in perspective and not scaring the piss out of them with too many details and what could go wrongs.
Specifically for RH neg moms: What did your docs do for mild spotting in regards to Rhogam shots? I had some super mild spotting at 6 weeks, got the shot. Since then, I've had two mild episodes of post-sex mild brown cm (11 weeks and about 14 weeks), and the first time, the nurse on call at the office said not to worry about it, it's not coming from my ute. Then the next time, the doctor said that from this point on, I'll probably need to get the shot after any signs of bleeding, just to be safe. I know I'll need one at 28 weeks for sure.
I believe he said if it's red or pink spotting, to come in to get one (just to be on the safe side). I haven't had any so it hasn't been an issue thus far, but it's something I just try to keep in mind. I think they mentioned I'll have to get one later on. Boo for a shot in my ass!
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
@BumpasaurusRex how old is your LO? My DD is almost 4 and I haven't needed a diaper bag for her in a while. I'm sure when I'm carrying one again she'll throw some junk in there but since she's been potty trained I leave an extra outfit in the car for her and that's about it.
You're a smarter lady than I. I haven't carried around extra outfits since DD has been potty trained. A couple of weeks back, we left the mall at closing and while the kids played in said friend's car, we were just chatting some more. DD ended up pooping her pants for the first time in forever. I nearly panicked because I had literally nothing. Thankfully, my friend has a two year old & she just gave us some diapers and wipes to clean DD up with before we headed home.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
Specifically for RH neg moms: What did your docs do for mild spotting in regards to Rhogam shots? I had some super mild spotting at 6 weeks, got the shot. Since then, I've had two mild episodes of post-sex mild brown cm (11 weeks and about 14 weeks), and the first time, the nurse on call at the office said not to worry about it, it's not coming from my ute. Then the next time, the doctor said that from this point on, I'll probably need to get the shot after any signs of bleeding, just to be safe. I know I'll need one at 28 weeks for sure.
They have always been cautious with me and I've gotten it quite a few times for bleeding. But sometimes they will examine me and if they can tell the bleeding isn't coming from baby (i.e. Maybe from sensitive cervix) then they wouldn't give it to me.
That seems to be the approach they've taken so far. DH and I have had to get,um, creative* to avoid post-sex bleeding, mostly because I go into tailspins of anxiety every time I bleed, even though they've always been able to confirm that it's cervical. I plan to do it like bunnies after I get the 28-week jab.
*not THAT creative.
Married: 2011 TTC #1: 3/2016 Me 39 - DH 44 BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17 DD born 2/3/17
We were gifted a Kate Spade diaper bag when I had DS and I loved it. I'll be using it again and I found the inside was pretty roomy and the side pockets were sufficient enough to hold bottles, random things.
Question for moms with two or more: did you find that you needed a bigger bag to hold things for the older kiddos? When we go out now, we don't have to bring a bunch of stuff with us for him, just a few pull-ups, wipes, and his sippy cup. Maybe a book or toy if I know we're going someplace where we might have to wait and he'll get bored. But I'm not sure if that is enough to possibly need a bigger bag eventually.
I know this is probably old news now, but I just got caught up... our son was almost exactly 2 1/2 when DD was born. He was NOT potty trained. We had plenty of room in our diaper bag that I kept a stack of diapers/training pants for our son and plenty of diapers for DD. we also had a change of clothes for each kid DD had multiple changes of clothes. We had room for sippy cups, wipes, powders, Vaseline, snacks, toys and more... we had plenty of room for both kids to have plenty of stuff. This is the exact bag we had, I thought you might want to see it, in case your current bag is smaller. Again my husband was for some reason obsessed with eddie bauer, and we bought a neutral looking bag since both of us would carry it around.
Lily Jade is having an unheard of 20% off sale (join the lily jade bst and chat group on Facebook and the code is already posted otherwise join their mailing list. I don't think they've mailed out the code yet). I totally bought the bag I wanted for about $10 more than they're going for used. I can not wait to get it!!!!
Oh my gosh, I love seeing other peoples diaper bags! No idea why haha This is mine, it's the Storksak Elizabeth in what they call tan. I had to buy mine on eBay to get the color I wanted. I LOVE it! It doesn't look like a diaper bag and I've got so many compliments on it. Have used it for 15mo now with DD and my only complaint, which you'd get with any large purse or diaper bag, is that it can get heavy when it's super full.
@kswiger06 I know! I bought it for myself when I was pregnant with DD because I didn't want anyone else spending that much on a diaper bag for me. I will say it's held up really well and still looks great. Definitely won't be needing to buy a new bag for baby on board.
After a few of you talking about your Vera Bradley diaper bags and after reading a few other reviews, I ended up picking one up for 50% off at the outlet mall today. So excited!!
Question for all of you discussing diaper bags, where do you even start looking? Back in my day, lol, I didn't really consider anywhere but Babies R Us for anything.
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
Question for all of you discussing diaper bags, where do you even start looking? Back in my day, lol, I didn't really consider anywhere but Babies R Us for anything.
You gotta go rogue. I personally am not a fan of the typical bags you find at BRU or BBB but you might be able to find something you like depending on your tastes. I came across the one I like on instagram because that's where I find all the stuff I'm into. But yah some of the bags discussed have a pretty hefty price tag. I think it depends how much you want to spend and what you're looking for. You can always find a decent selection at standalone baby stores if you have one. Check out Target also!
Has anyone used anything from the brand ju-ju-be? I know they have a standard bag, a convertible bag (both standard and backpack) and then just a backpack. I found them on Amazon but I havent seen one in person
@Partyof6? I pretty much look for stuff on Amazon first. I don't really like shopping so not leaving my house is a huge plus. Plus you can see all the reviews.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@Partyof6? I started with lucieslist.com which is where I found out about my first one. I didn't feel like trying to research on my own so basically used her list for everything and really wasn't disappointed by anything even if I didn't love everything.
From there, I've heard about different ones from various bloggers and through posts like this one where people discuss various ones. I didn't want to spend a ton on my first one because I didn't really know what I needed and would use in one.
@BlondePeanut with #1 I avoided thinking about because thinking about it made me sick! Most of the time I'm a more knowledge is better person and research everything, but for some reason I just could not handle that and avoidance worked the best. With #2 and with this one, I didn't/don't feel like it's a big deal.
How to ease birth/delivery anxieties.....is there even a way until you see that little baby? lol
I was terrified leading up to giving birth. Then my water broke and I was just excited. I don't know how to describe my mindset the day my daughter was born. But I was in like a fog, I was there and feeling all the pain and worrying about silly stuff (like pooping while giving birth) but the birth itself never scared me that day. I think the pain until my epidural, then the exhaustion once I had it and could calm down, and then the overwhelming pressure just kept my mind busy. I don't want to scare anyone more but I spent so much time worrying about the birth I never knew what to expect post partum in the hospital and that part was way harder on me then the actual birth.
Has anyone used anything from the brand ju-ju-be? I know they have a standard bag, a convertible bag (both standard and backpack) and then just a backpack. I found them on Amazon but I havent seen one in person
I love my jujube be ready. And I have a friend who also uses jujube and loves it as well. Its spacious, cute, and cleans up well. I bought it second hand for $50. And am still using it 18 months later on a daily basis.
@BlondePeanut with #1 I avoided thinking about because thinking about it made me sick! Most of the time I'm a more knowledge is better person and research everything, but for some reason I just could not handle that and avoidance worked the best. With #2 and with this one, I didn't/don't feel like it's a big deal.
This is pretty much exactly my approach last time. I love to know/plan everything but when it came to baby having I went with - I'm sure someone will just tell me what to do when I need to know.
I avoided thinking about labour for the most part.
I did skim a few books on positive birth and visualization... Mostly just that our bodies were designed to do this kind of thing. From there I wrote out a few positive phrases to keep with me.
Re: Ask a STM 8/17
Also something kind of random about husbands during labor. Make sure you bring legit food and snacks for them or have a way to get them food and snacks. I warned my husband about this before and he didn't really heed my warning. Well he ended up having to leave me alone to get food while I was having major contractions because he was starving. I'm pretty sure he sprinted through the hospital because he wasn't gone for long but I know he still feels terrible about it. He warns all future dads about this.
He doesn't know what to expect, and he has fears of me getting injured or permanent issues from vaginal birth and never wanting to be intimate with him again, or issues healing from c-section. And now that my fears have dulled and I just want to meet the baby and I know either way I will be just fine.....he is almost traumatized with fear. I don't know if I should ask my Dr to talk with him or how to calm his worries. I think him being out of control of the situation is the biggest problem, and he is worried about keeping me and the baby safe.
Oh great tip on the snacks! Our hospital has a great cafeteria, but I know he won't want to leave at any point because he has to be the protector.
H left me to go get lunch shortly after I got my epidural. Before my epidural I was stalled at 2 cm and just wanted a nap. He was gone maybe 30 minutes, when he came back I was at 8/9 cms and a nurse passed him in the hall and said "your wife has a surprise for you" meaning I had progressed a lot finally! But he thought I had the baby while he was at lunch and came flying into the room out of breath.
We will definitely be packing snacks this time.
I think it does a good job for prepping dad's for a general what to expect while keeping it in perspective and not scaring the piss out of them with too many details and what could go wrongs.
Appreciate the stories and input very much!
*not THAT creative.
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
From there, I've heard about different ones from various bloggers and through posts like this one where people discuss various ones. I didn't want to spend a ton on my first one because I didn't really know what I needed and would use in one.
I think the pain until my epidural, then the exhaustion once I had it and could calm down, and then the overwhelming pressure just kept my mind busy.
I don't want to scare anyone more but I spent so much time worrying about the birth I never knew what to expect post partum in the hospital and that part was way harder on me then the actual birth.
I avoided thinking about labour for the most part.
I did skim a few books on positive birth and visualization... Mostly just that our bodies were designed to do this kind of thing. From there I wrote out a few positive phrases to keep with me.