Just venting.

misha0130 · August 2016

I did my first dose of cytotec and didn't really have much happen besides cramps and a lot of bleeding. I passed some fetal tissue but the doctor wasn't too convince that it was everything. I have another dose tonight and ultrasound in the morning. Today is is day 5 of this long process and I'm so ready to be done. I feel like I can't start to heal until it's done. I been hanging with my parents since it started, my EX left me when I got pregnant so not much support there. I read where many were going to start trying once they get the ok and I realize that I have no one to TTCAL. Makes me hurt even more and I just want my baby back. I know I should be happy because I have a DD and I love her with all my heart and I know that having a baby cannot replace the one I loss but in the back of my mind I feel like I will never have another chance to have another baby. I never knew I wanted another kid until I got pregnant and I felt my little family would be complete. Now I just feel empty.

Hopefulmommy1980 · August 2016

I am sorry. It sounds like things have been rough. That feeling of hopelessness sucks

misha0130 · August 2016

Thank you @Hopefulmommy1980. It has been. I think once this is over I can move on but I feel trapped in limbo.

Sugargirl1019 · August 2016

Omgsh lady, I'm so sorry for how this journey has been from the start. Hugs to you. Peace and comfort you and prayers for a rainbow baby with someone special!

misha0130 · August 2016

Thank you ladies! And you're both right. I know I'm not ready to put myself out there any time soon. But I know my special someone is out there and I will be patient. I finished my 3rd dose of cytotec and now that I'm done with the actual miscarriage I think I can work on getting myself right emotionally and mentally. I have a pass with depression and anxiety and I'm scared of getting back to that dark place. I went back to work today and I actually felt a little normal being there. Just going to take it day by day. I'm sending you both hugs and positive vibes. I know we will have our good and bad days. I'm glad we have a place to talk about them.

fiorip · August 2016

I'm so sorry, hope you can find peace. Hugs.

misha0130 · August 2016

Thank you @fiorip

smallanimal · September 2016

Please take care of yourself. I am so sorry for your loss. You know what they say - if you are going through hell (which you most certainly are) - keep going. Praying for you!

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