Any values your family/friends hold that you do not?

BrooklynBroussard · July 2016

Let's face it: Everyone who has raised a child has a few values that they like to push on new mothers. Are there any values that friends or family members are pushing on you that you strongly disagree with?

KristynLee15 · July 2016

I have been fortunate that no one is really pressing anything on me. Fingers crossed that keeps up.

DH and i have a few different opinions on things but nothing major.

Ex. I wanted to get LO ears pierced young, he wasnt thrilled but agreed when i gave my reasons.

He was away a lot during out sleep training, so anytime she fusses he says "should i go rock her?" And hes trying to help but i try to explain that it only stimulates her more and gets her more worked up.

So far no real conflicts though.

midge519 · July 2016

Damien is mine 3rd biological but 5th with bonus kids so for the most part we've already overcome those hurdles. But some times there are things. It was mainly with my first that I had to fight more.

My ex-inlaws hated that I told my baby no. At one point he was about a year old and he did something and I stopped him and told him no and it wasn't ok. I also insisted he "tried" to say please, thank you, and you're welcome. Of course it was babble more than words but that insistence that he tried taught him he had to do it. They used to talk behind my back to other family that I was too hard on him and he is "just a baby" so it doesn't matter. Fast forward to him being three and having excellent manners far outweighing other kids in the family and they were complimenting how well his manners were.

Not forcing the kids to give kisses is hard for a lot of my family to get used to. We're an incredibly affectionate family so a child not giving kisses isn't the norm. But my oldest stepson doesn't like kisses in anyway so we give hugs and that's it. I have a rule that we "give love" before leaving. But that love is whatever the kids deem it to be. My bio two will give hugs and kisses till sun don't shine but the other two not so much. My niece doesn't usually give hugs but my brother tries to make her. I just tell her she doesn't have to but ask for a high five and that is usually what I get.

Sorry this Turned into a book but we have some weird ones that our family has had to learn to deal with it.

BrooklynBroussard · July 2016

midge519 said:

Damien is mine 3rd biological but 5th with bonus kids so for the most part we've already overcome those hurdles. But some times there are things. It was mainly with my first that I had to fight more.

My ex-inlaws hated that I told my baby no. At one point he was about a year old and he did something and I stopped him and told him no and it wasn't ok. I also insisted he "tried" to say please, thank you, and you're welcome. Of course it was babble more than words but that insistence that he tried taught him he had to do it. They used to talk behind my back to other family that I was too hard on him and he is "just a baby" so it doesn't matter. Fast forward to him being three and having excellent manners far outweighing other kids in the family and they were complimenting how well his manners were.

Not forcing the kids to give kisses is hard for a lot of my family to get used to. We're an incredibly affectionate family so a child not giving kisses isn't the norm. But my oldest stepson doesn't like kisses in anyway so we give hugs and that's it. I have a rule that we "give love" before leaving. But that love is whatever the kids deem it to be. My bio two will give hugs and kisses till sun don't shine but the other two not so much. My niece doesn't usually give hugs but my brother tries to make her. I just tell her she doesn't have to but ask for a high five and that is usually what I get.

Sorry this Turned into a book but we have some weird ones that our family has had to learn to deal with it.

I think it's so great that you don't force your kids to give any affection they are uncomfortable with!

FatPony · July 2016

I hear through the grapevine that DH's grandma isn't impressed that LO isn't getting baptized. I just had to laugh at that one. We got married in a hay field with a beer tub present - did she really think I'd baptize my kid??

I got a little lecture about breastfeeding and circumcision when I was pregnant. Uh huh, whatever. I'm an educated woman and can make my own choices when it comes to my child. That's the beauty of being a mom, ppl can flap all they want but can't do shit unless you let them.

midge519 · July 2016

I think it's so great that you don't force your kids to give any affection they are uncomfortable with!

Thank you! It's taken a lot to figure out what was best for us and to stand up for it

J1D · July 2016

No one has tried to push anything on me. The occasional suggestion, sure, put no real pushing.
Hubby says I'm scary and everyone is too intimidated, lol!

chein1 · July 2016

Baptisms. My parents baptized my brother and I when we were newborns. DD1 was 9 months old when we baptized her, and I still haven't scheduled this LO's which means it'll be beyond 9 months. My mom thinks it should be done immediately and keeps making remarks about my daughters being able to talk back to the minister. Whatevs.

BrooklynBroussard · July 2016

@chein1 the app deleted my response.

Baptism is one of those things that is important to my family, but they wait until the children are older. I'll probably just do it to please them, since I don't think it's worth making waves over.

teesmee · August 2016

I love the idea of "give love!" Also, please and thank you is big concept that you can never start too early on...which just reminded me I should do I better job working on that with my 9 mo

WeddingNotes13 · August 2016

I think that we will encounter differences with affection as DS gets a little older.

For now, it is just the rigid gender roles and stereotyping. I do not support it, esp at this age, but both of our families do.

anorthro · August 2016

My parents were big into the whole "you're gonna spoil her" thing at first. Like, when she was 3 months old. I would go to her every time she cried and they'd be like "she's manipulating you!" It was annoying. I figured out when I felt comfortable letting her cry and it wasn't until months later. Also, my dad is weirdly obsessed with the exact date I plan to stop breastfeeding. He seems to think there's no longer a benefit to it. -_-

Any values your family/friends hold that you do not?

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