SAHM Morning Routine? (Dad who works)

TheHauntedHauswife · August 2016

I am curious what other SAHMs with working spouses do in the mornings and what each of your routines are, as i am not sure ours is working great.

My husband leaves quite early, his alarm goes off right around the time the baby is waking up for her 2nd or 3rd time time feeding. Since im so used his alarm waking me up for years, I tend to just stay awake at that time. If the baby goes back down, I get a few things done and set myself up for the day, but more often than not she stays awake for a little bit and then wants to feed again before she goes back down. So her awake time is also his getting ready for work time. In those cases I also just really need a little bit of his help in the morning to help set me up for the day, and to keep an ear out for her for 5 minutes so I can use the bathroom.

The issue i am currently encountering is that on those days he isnt thrilled with this help I ask for and often that ends up leaving me with no food or water or anything for a few hours in the morning while the babe is feeding and napping on my lap, and also just a lot of huffing and puffing on his end when he needs to stay upstairs for a few minutes so i can rush through using the bathroom. For whatever reason during this morning nap period she really doesnt like to be moved off me, and i find if i dont give her that morning nap on my lap it effects the rest of the day. So for everyone's sake it just make the most sense to have that morning cuddly nap on me. I realize that i COULD move her, but for the sake of my sanity later on, she need this nap in the morning. I would also like to note, (not complaining) that DH doesnt wake up at all at night with us.

All I would really want would be for DH to make me something tiny to snack on while hes making his own breakfast (often just the difference between throwing 2 English muffins in the toaster, instead of just one) and having him fill up my water bottle for me and that would really be enough for the most part (and of course let me use the damn bathroom without an issue).

So i am really curious how other mothers in similar situations work out periods like this with their spouses. How do you split up responsibilities (feel free to add what you do after work too!). What do you expect from them, what do you not expect from them, what compromises do you make, etc?

AmberLiz99 · August 2016

Sounds like you know what you need his help with and just need to ask him in specific terms. That's the only way he's going to start doing it.

We have 3 kids, so a little different. The older two are up between 5:30-6:30, so dh usually gets up to shower when they wake, and I get up to take care of them and fix breakfast for everyone. After that I try to squeez my shower in before the baby wakes up. The baby usually eats around 4:30 or 5 and isn't up for the day till after 7:30, so my husband is gone by that time. If I didn't get my shower in before, I either put lo in a bouncy seat in the bathroom or wait till her first nap to shower. With two older kids holding her for naps isn't really an option, so she naps in her crib.

adiaz132003 · August 2016

DH wakes up at 5 for work and DS sleeps till 8-9 so this isn't much of an issue but as far as morning routine I try and get things done after he eats and is content just sitting in his rock n play for 15 min. Before he slept in his crib I actually wore him during his first nap of the day and that freed my hands so I could use the bathroom, have breakfast, ect. On weekends when DH is home he will help by burping after his feed and changing the first diaper which gives me a few minutes to myself.

vintagevix2016 · August 2016

I'm usually in the middle of nursing when my husband gets up to get ready for work, so around 7am. My son typically goes back down right after he nurses (I put him in his rock-n-play instead of his crib at that point). He'll sleep for another hour to 2hrs at that point. Lately he's been sleeping for 3hrs though, no idea why. I take advantage of this and head back to bed for another hour or two since I'm definitely NOT a morning person. The fact that he's sleeping an extra hour does allow me to do some stuff around the house, which is nice. I'm not much of breakfast person so I usually prep my breakfast the night before (1/2 cup of steel cut oats, 1/2 cup of almond milk/regular milk if you aren't dairy-free, couple dashes of cinnamon, a little bit of sugar, 1/2 scoop of vanilla protein powder; mix all together and put in the fridge overnight...I'll top it with already cut-up berries or fruit in the morning). It's good cold for a hot day or can be zapped in the microwave. When I'm not dairy-free, I just do a Carnations Breakfast Drink with some fruit on the side more often than not.

Basically my husband lends a hand when he gets home from work in the evenings, any other time it's just me.

rlbrooks84 · August 2016

My LO usually gets up around 5:30/6:30 my 6 yr old will get up at 6:30 and i change my LO we all go downstairs. I make the 6yr old breakfast and put LO in her swing which is in the kitchen. I usually give her a binky to keep her busy and talk to her. I make myself a cup of coffee and her bottle. Then we all move to the family room she eats I try to drink my coffee. Then the 4 yr old usually gets up I feed him and Charlotte is usually back in the swing. Make my oldest lunch, it has to be heated otherwise I would do it the night before. Make sure we are ready for school pack everyone up and head to school. Then Charlotte and I get home I eat, she has a hard time doing morning naps but I'll wear her when I need to do stuff around the house. Also I put her in the bouncer when she's awake and I need to use the bathroom or take a shower.
It takes time to find your routine but if your H is there just be straight with him and say I need some help! Also you could fill your water bottle in the morning so all you have to do is grab it out the fridge in the morning. I make a pitcher of lemon water the night before so I have it ready first thing. I have a hard time not getting enough water if I don't do that. You'll find your groove!

BakerBird525 · August 2016

If he's complaining about doing as little as you're describing, you need to have a talk with him. I'm a SAHM and my husband works from home but he's in his office most of the day except during lunch. I don't need him to do much but when I ask, I expect him to do it so long as it doesn't interfere with his work. He's your partner in this, he should be there to help you without huffing and puffing.

jmohio · August 2016

I just started this stay at home thing when she was born since our LO is having a few issues she throws up and stops breathing so daycare isn't an option at this point.

Anyways my husband and I have it down for now. I take the whole night incase she wakes up but usually she goes down between 10-11 and sleeps till around 4-5. Because of her issue I am on high alert all night so i dont get mich sleep my husband takes her for the morning feeding then I get up around 6 and he gets ready for work. LO will usually go back to sleep after her bottle until about 7-8. So I use that time to get set up or take another quick nap. Some mornings she wakes up around 6 so I just get up with her. My husband will start the bottle while I go to the bathroom and get downstairs i usually eat a granola bar then I take over. If she doesn't go down again I but her in a wrap (she likes the morning cuddle time too). While she is in the sling I wash bottles and get set up. She usually falls asleep and I can put her down again. She will then sleep from around 8 until around 11 so I use that time for me, coffee and breakfast.

I have to say if you have a moby wrap those things are great for SAHMs.

lilp2015 · August 2016

If our daughter wakes up while husband is still in bed I just put her next to him while I use the bathroom, make bottle or whatever else I need to do. He enjoys the morning cuddles. If he's already left for work I just make sure she knows I hear her and just talk to her while I'm getting her stuff ready. Fussing for a few min won't hurt anything. Have you tried wearing her so you can get yourself breakfast but she's still with you? My daughter prefers napping in the auto rock n play so I haven't worn her expect out while shopping.

rmmorris · August 2016

I was definitely in the same boat for a while. My husband gets to work around 7 and only has time to shower, get dressed, and take the dog out (so he's not much help in the morning unless I really need it). My LO hates our momaroo, so I was having trouble putting her down long enough to eat/drink/pee. I ended up buying a baby ktan and a bouncer and my life has gotten so much easier! I can buy myself a lot more time now while she bounces happily--and my husband and I don't have to eat dinner in shifts anymore!

lilp2015 · August 2016

rmmorris said:

I was definitely in the same boat for a while. My husband gets to work around 7 and only has time to shower, get dressed, and take the dog out (so he's not much help in the morning unless I really need it). My LO hates our momaroo, so I was having trouble putting her down long enough to eat/drink/pee. I ended up buying a baby ktan and a bouncer and my life has gotten so much easier! I can buy myself a lot more time now while she bounces happily--and my husband and I don't have to eat dinner in shifts anymore!

My daughter didn't really care for her momaroo either (unless it was turned off lol) we ended up selling it and buying a auto rock n play and she loves it!!

ecolton01 · August 2016

My DH naturally wakes up between 4-5 every day . So depending on how the night went , I typically feed my LO between 4 and 6. As soon as I feed her for the last time he comes in and takes her and I go back to bed

when it's time for him to go to work ( typically between 7 and 7:30) he brings her back to bed with me or I get up depending on how I feel. Most of the times it works out that idly is time to feed her again anyway . He is pretty good most days to have coffee ready for me . Neither of us typically eat breakfast so that is not an issue for us . I have to admit he is wonderful in the mornings and super helpful. I think he enjoys his alone time with her in the am and she is almost always really happy and smiley. As for the evening totally different story

he owns his own business so getting home "on time" doesn't exist . He always gets sucked into something so he gets home around 6:30-8 most night which leaves me to figure out how to get dinner ready with no help. Then I feel bad handing her off as soon as he walks in th door so he typically eats first then gets out of his work clothes etc before he takes her again . The bad part about this is I end up eating really late and I get hangry and grumpy . So we need to work on that more . Our LO doesn't like to be put down much so in order to get anything accomplished I have to wear her or get it done in under 10 minutes

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