Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Knottie1448065635
member
Options
coping with the day to day
Knottie1448065635
member
I experienced and early stage miscarriage last week while I was in a week long class for work. I finished the class and decided to take the exam portion online at my office on Monday so I could have the weekend to digest what had happened. Otherwise I would have had to stay on Saturday to take the final exam and be away from my family for an additional day. So when I got to work I asked my supervisor to proctor me which entailed her sitting in her office working while I took the exam. Little to no effort on her part. I found out today that she complained to my co-workers because I didn't stay on Saturday to take the exam and I was presumptive to to assume she would proctor me. I see this as such a small issue that it's not even worth bringing up with her but I also just want to scream in her face and tell her what happened to me. And that while I was in class, the class that she forced me to go to, I was miscarrying my child for two straight days. And not only did I finish the class but I aced the exam. I want to take all the pain that I'm feeling over the loss of my unborn child and put it on to her. I want to yell at the top of my lungs what a selfish nasty person she is. But the reality is...it's none of her F-ing business what happened to me. And I don't want her to know that I'm trying to conceive. So I'm stuck being so incredibly mad and not able to tell her the real reason why I decided to take the test on Monday. And I'm just so angry. I'm so angry about everything.
Re: coping with the day to day
The biggest thing is to remember that losing a child isn't shameful or something that needs to be secretive, unless you want it to be of course. The way I processed it was by thinking and accepting it's a part of me now, it's who I am. I am someone who lost a child before I could ever hold them. Talking about it to others helped in my grieving process. Telling my boss helped them to understand I needed to be brainless for awhile and unable to focus on the day to day. Slowly I built my self back to being a "functional" person. It's been 4 weeks since my loss and I am starting to accept my situation. Make sure to give yourself time and focus on you. The anger will pass.