Introducing newborn to toddler?

ammetko04 · August 2016

DH brought this question up to me... I was searching online, but I'd like to hear from mamas who have had experience with this. How did you go about introducing your newborn to your toddler or other children? Our DS is 2 and I just want to try to make this transition a little easier for him if I can.

I figured I can't be alone in wondering this, so I thought I'd ask!

ignoscemihi · August 2016

I wonder about the same thing. My son will be 2.5 when the second is born. He seems like he might understand that he's going to have a little brother (this morning, he pointed to my belly and said "that big guy is going to come out and go in that seat" (pointing to the second seat in the stroller), but I don't think he knows that it will entail. I wonder how we're going to make sure he doesn't feel like he's being replaced.

I'm also thinking about logistics. My mother-in-law is going to be in town two weeks before my due date and she'll stay until we're settled after baby is born. I assumed she would bring our son to the hospital to meet the new baby, but my husband assumed the opposite - that we'd wait until we brought the baby home to introduce the two. Not sure which would be better.

cy&damonsmommy · August 2016

Lurking from June. There are a lot of children's books about being a big brother or sister. I don't know if that would be something that would help. I also saw a mom that got her daughter a baby doll to take care of. Hope this helps a bit.

ammetko04 · August 2016

@ignoscemihi My son is the same way! I feel like he knows what a baby is because he can point one out in public and he is always pointing to my belly and saying baby. We have read a few baby books and books about becoming a brother. I do know that my MIL will be bringing him to the hospital to meet the baby and for me I think that is best. I also feel like I want to come home all together...I'm not sure how he would feel if he showed up at home and we were already there with the baby or vise versa.

blessyourheartmama · August 2016

I've bought a few books for DS about becoming a big brother. He likes for us to read them together at night, and he asks questions. I also talk to him every time I bring something new in the house for the babies about it being for the twins. I ask him is he going to be my big helper, and he likes that I've included him. He wants to help with diapers, bottles, baths, and shopping for the babies.

I'm sure we'll have obstacles to overcome when they get here, but he seems to be adjusting to the idea of having two new babies in our home. He didn't want them at first, so we're headed in the right direction.

As far as logistics during delivery, we're still not sure. I'm hoping my SIL will keep him either at their house near the hospital (but he's never stayed with them) as it's sort of on the way there, or if it's my sister in the waiting room in the hospital (she's on the opposite side of the hospital) or MIL will bring him later. We're having a C-section, so it shouldn't be too long, but that all depends on it being scheduled as opposed to me going into labor. I'm sure both my parents and inlaws want to be at the hospital if at all possible, but I'd rather the inlaws just bring DS up later. The inlaws are often out of town, and so they might not be here if I go into labor before a scheduled C-section, at which point, then my parents get the honors of keeping DS since they live near us. So, I'm probably not much help, as it all depends on who is where when the time comes.

But, I know I do want him to come to the hospital to see them.

NoraAurora · August 2016

DS is so little himself still that I worry about this. He doesn't really understand the English language well enough yet to get much from a book about a new baby. I've tried having him around friends' babies, which may or may not help - he loses interest pretty fast. I think my only idea is to give him a new truck toy or something when he meets the baby the first time to either give a positive association or at least distract him a few minutes.

mrskratt · August 2016

We are going to have my mom bring DD to the hospital to meet her new baby brother. She's 2.5 right now. She kind of understands what's going on, but not too much. We've been transitioning a lot of things with her recently (big girl room, took away pacifiers and trying to potty train), and we keep telling her that she's a big girl now and her baby brother will be here soon. I'm never for the first few weeks home, because she loves attention.
I was thinking about getting her a gift from her baby brother that she will get when she comes and meets him. And I also thought about taking her to pick out something for him. So they do a little gift exchange at the hospital.

ignoscemihi · August 2016

We bought our son some Daniel Tiger figurines that he's been pining after and he'll get those from the baby. @mrskratt, I didn't even think of having him give a gift to the baby. That's a good idea.

lilbabybrown · August 2016

Love that idea @mrskratt!

kmvisioli · August 2016

My little guy is only 17mos so I don't know that he really understands the implications yet, although he likes reading his "big brother" book and will hug my belly and say "babies!". We bought him a baby doll to practice with, and he recognizes the twin nursery as "the baby room" or "baby brothers room".

One tip I got from a btdt friend was to make sure you don't look like a total wreck when big bro/sis sees you at the hospital for the first time. She said her toddler got a bit freaked out by mommy looking so sick, and it made her a little wary of the new baby.

klv · August 2016

My DD is a bit older.....she is 5 but we have been talking a lot about what will happen when the baby gets here. How being a big sister is an important job and we will need her help. We talk about some things she can do as our helper ( throw diapers away, pick out his clothes, put his laundry away, refill mommys water while I am feeding the baby).

I think talking up all the things your kid will be able to do as a big brother/sister will get them excited. We have also gotten DD involved by letting her pick out stuff to hang on the walls and what sheets to put in the crib. That way she has some say and some ownership over what is happening and will (hopefully) be less jealous.

blessyourheartmama · August 2016

One of the books I got for DS is about being the first baby. He likes to hear that. FIL told him he wouldn't be mommy's baby anymore, and I'm so proud he spoke up and said, "Mommy said I'll always be her baby. I'm the first baby." Or something similar to that. I'm glad he is confident he isn't getting replaced and secure in that his mommy loves him.

serenaxo84 · August 2016

I'm loving all this input! As I'm am gonna kinda wing it! We talk about the baby and he has name already- so we refer to the baby as a person and ds1 gives my belly kisses and hugs and he says he wants his baby now! I am just trying to be as open as possible. Im going to try and have it just be us (DH me and DS1) in the room when they meet so people aren't making a big fuss.

im kinda banking on DS1's very sweet personality and love of babies and love of helping to help smooth the transition.

fallbabyround3 · August 2016

I just told DS1 about his little brother the whole pregnancy and let him pick out some baby stuff and a toy at the same time. He was only 13 months old when DS2 was born and we just had him(DS1) sit on my lap in the hospital and I held him and DS2 on his lap while DH stood next to the bed in case. He took to him extremely quick hugs and kisses and they've been best friends ever since. With this one we plan to do something similar at the hospital with each one. They cant wait to get a little sister, they've been picking out everythong for her.

aesthyerin · August 2016

We've been reading new baby books with my 3 yo. She will be staying with my parents while we're in the hospital so they will bring her to meet her new sister. We have gifts we will give her then.

ibabyloveb87 · August 2016

I've never done this since I'm a FTM, but I actually remember getting a gift "from the baby" when each of my brothers were born!

Mintz1982 · August 2016

I bring a small gift to hospital for my kids when they meet the baby they get the gif with my son it was action figures from my daughter. This time my daughter is getting a baby doll I'm hoping to find one she can pretend to dress and change and my son will probably get something pokemon related lol. I write a note from the baby basically saying I came just to meet you, please be gentle with me mommy loves us all forever and always love your new baby brother or sister and then the name.

Schell2013 · August 2016

My oldest was only 17.5 months when I had her sister. She hated it when she cried, if the baby cried she would cry. I don't think there is any trick to making the transition "easier" necessarily but I talked positive about her sister and how much fun they will have when she grows up. I would try to have her as involved as possible (things then can do will depend on age) but in my case I got her to get me wipes or a diaper, a toy, a blanket etc. I also make a HUGE effort to spend nap times with my oldest. It was a very hard thing to do sometimes cause really I wanted to shower, eat, clean up, or do stuff that I really really needed to do but knew I needed to spend time with her. I would have my husband keep the baby at home and we would go get Starbucks and go get groceries together most of the time. It's tricky at first but it's really amazing how kids just seem to know that it's a new family member and for the most part adapt quickly and easily. That part was the easiest for me in having 2 kids.

Schell2013 · August 2016

Oh to add. We did the whole big sister present thing, but it didn't work great for us. She didn't seem to know enough yet and was mostly concerned about her screaming sister and why mom has so much tubes on her and couldn't lift her up (CS) so that part for me was hard. We had her grandma bring her a few hours after I had gotten back into my room.

mothernorth · August 2016

LO is still just a wee babe himself, and a mama's boy to the extreme so I don't know... DS is almost 9 and DD is almost 5 and are BTDT big brothers and sisters, ready to rock and roll with another baby brother. LO however, we'll just see. Hopefully it won't be too hard since he's already used to sharing mama time to some degree with DS and DD. He's just so little himself I know he won't "understand", but hopefully he won't have a meltdown. I would consider starting to distance myself, but eff that. HE is my baby right now.
I guess whatever is to come, will come and pass. We can do this!

allison_smith_6212 · August 2016

I've been wondering this same thing, our son will be almost 3.5 when we have baby.

We signed him up for "Super siblings class" that talked to the kids about adding a baby to your family and they had a breakout session for the parents while the kids had their smaller sessions and watched a movie. Their recommendation was if you're bringing your child to the floor to meet baby, to have baby in the bassinet when they enter the room, it helps to have your child feel more comfortable since no one is cooing and holding baby while they enter. It then allows them to go up and meet baby on their own. Their recommendation was also to have just the parents and the sibling in the room, so not to have a bunch of people there when they're meeting.

So that's what I planned to do is have baby in the bassinet and have big brother come into the room. I think he'd feel a bit territorial if I was holding baby right when he entered. This will also allow us to get some cute pictures of big brother at the side of the bassinet with only my husband and I in the room.

ammetko04 · August 2016

@allison.smith.612 I think this is also what we are going to do!

vcabbyw · August 2016

I have a 3 yo daughter. We bought her some cute books off amazon about being a big sister. She now tells everyone her name and "I'm a big sister!" She's been obsessed with it. I like that the book covers what babies do (cry, sleep, etc), how she gets to play with toys, eat fun food, etc. and what she can do for baby.

I also asked her to pick out a gift for baby brother, and she told everyone she met how she bought him a toy monkey. Very proud. I plan to buy a realistic baby boy doll for her as a gift at the hospital when she comes to meet him. She loves dolls and babies.

We also sit and look at the ultrasound pictures together. I think it all just depends on the age for comprehension. The real test is when the baby comes and she realizes mommas attention will be shared, she does get jealous. It'll be a transition for everyone.

cbamama641 · August 2016

My oldest was almost two when my middle one was born, and I wanted to be sure to be sensitive to him when he came to visit. I kept number two in the bassinet when he got there so that I could greet him and talk to him before getting the baby out to ooh and aah over. Then I let him do as much exploring (as was safe) of the baby so that he could really check him out and see what was up.. when number three was born, the big Bros got to the hospital really soon after she was born, we weren't even in a post partum room yet, the goal is not to do that again. My youngest is almost two and she is obsessed with babies, but I'm not sure how she'll feel about one that eats up mommy's time, so I'm sure it'll be an interesting transition. I've never done a gift from the new baby.. the older sibs have brought stuffed animals for the baby though.. maybe this time the baby will bring them a movie and treats for a movie night while I'm in the hospital or something..

mommabear444 · August 2016

Definitely going to have all 3 littles come to the hospital to meet their new sister, they have all been good about meeting the new baby and being gentle. I have my mom and SIL to help me watch them while daddy and I are away. We talk about her to them a lot and they see the nursery set up, my 3 year old girl is excited to have a little sister and hopefully things are as smooth as they have been previously.

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Introducing newborn to toddler?

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