I just devoured "Everything We Keep" by Kerry Lonsdale. Clearly we're not very good at Book Club, but I recommend it!! I think I even got it free as an Amazon Prime thing...
OH and that reminds me! Remember my smushed Kindle? I found one at work to borrow indefinitely
NiceyMeany, that's pretty much literally exactly how I put it to her and she freaked the F out. Doesn't help that her mom is the queen of drama in the family. She's the type where she tells everyone to jump and they're asking "how high?" Oh well I guess. I know it's just a stupid freezer, but it's mine and I want it back damnit! lol
@Jab3 oooooh, did I miss that part? In that case, my instinct would be to try to stay calm and just double down on what I'd said. "I'm very sorry that the situation was miscommunicated to you, but I will need the freezer back on X day." And just like. Keep repeating that.
For the record, I do NOT blame you for wanting it back. I would do the exact same thing. And it's not like you're like, hi, give it NOW. She has months to figure out a new plan, right? I think the calmer you remain, the more she'll be forced to realize that she's being unreasonable.
@Jab3 I agree with PP you were not out of line at all to ask for it back and it sucks that your mom just gave it to her without asking you. I mean I'm guessing you don't need it until February so she has almost 6 months to figure out what she's going to do. I hope if you just keep asking her calmly she'll give into reason!
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@Jab3 she sounds a lot like my SIL (fortunately I have a mellow MIL though). It'll cause drama and she'll be pissed but I would stick with the I'll need it by X date plan. Mostly because I can't stand entitled attitudes and the more you give in to their fits the more they expect you to even in situations where they are clearly in the wrong. With SIL she tends to stay really pissed until she's moved on to being pissed at someone else, then she starts trying to play nice again.
I should also add that I'm typically a very non-confrontational person, so if she had been even a little polite or understanding about the situation I would probably have said just let her keep it and buy a new one, but to blow up on you about it is ridiculous. Had I been in her place in this situation I wouldn't have been thrilled about having to buy one, but I would also feel really bad when I found out that your mother hadn't checked with you before giving it away and would have been grateful to have some time to save up for a replacement before you needed it back.
@Gingersnap I looked a small amount to see where you posted about your NT scan. Mine is tomorrow and I am freaking the F out. I am so nervous and the fact that I'm nervous is making me MORE nervous... Ugh.
Do you get your results same day?
Did you already do your blood work? Mine was done a week ago, then they were able to pull them up and give me instant answers.
Mine was done a week ago as of...right now! And they still don't have the results for me! I've heard it can take up to 9 days but I can't wait that long ahhh!
I'm a semi-pro knitter, so if anyone needs any knitting tips I'm happy to help. I actually learned how to knit when I was 9, forgot and then re-taught myself when I was in high school using the internet. I'm working on a baby blanket now.
In other news, DH and I closed on our house yesterday, so we're almost basically grown ups! Ahh!
It was very surreal, we went in the house afterwards and were just like "Uh, this is our house" We're painting it so we don't move in until September, but it's still exciting!
Congrats @MrsDramaK !! I'm very happy for you. It's such an exciting time in your life when you finally have a place to call your house and not just your home
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
My oldest got glasses yesterday at the ripe ol age of 4.999 (turns 5 in 2 weeks). She looks like an adorable disheveled librarian and has already mastered the art of sending me judgy stares over the top of her specs.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@Jab3 If I were in your shoes, I'd tell my cousin that the freezer was not your mothers to give away. That you understand the amount of time makes things confusing, but understood she had a need for it having a baby and that was why you didn't bring it up till now since you need it back with the new baby coming. They really can't have a problem giving back a freezer they didn't even pay for. Just my thoughts though.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
So this morning I pack both my lunch and DH's as usual but then DH reminds me that he has a work lunch thing where lunch is provided so I unpack his. Then I leave mine on the counter. So after all the Panera talk yesterday I decided I'm getting Panera so I just tried their rapid order, we'll see if it works. Panera is always so crowded at lunch time and DH doesn't like it that much so I feel like I never get to go and I love it.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
So a post on TW made me genuinely curious with this question
I have and I didn't feel it was appropriate to ask it on the TW discussion page
thing. For those women who don't approve of their husbands questioning what the
eat, try to say what they prefer not eaten while pregnant, or in general don't
like being questioned/told what to do by their spouse - do you give the same
respect to your spouse by not questioning what they do/ eat? I am genuinely
curious, if you think about situations that women have described on this site
that their spouses do that you say make you angry for them or you would go off
on your spouse if they did it - do you do the same to your spouse?
No two
marriages are alike and I am always curious how other households find common
balance or make things work. I have friends who the wife rules the roost so to
say, and their husbands walk on egg shell and things aren't equal, someone is
always getting short end of the straw. Then I have friends who the husband
rules the roost and the wife is the one on egg shells so to speak.
So I was
just curious if there are women here who think they are fair towards their
spouse or if they recognize that things can be one sided? I try to be fair in
how I run my household, but I know there are times I am selfish and my husband
gets the short end of the straw. It doesn't make me proud of myself, but it is
a flaw I recognize within myself. Curious if anyone else is the same way?
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
@bdesterhouse I would probably castrate my husband if he told me "you shouldn't be eating that" but I DO tell him when he is shoveling food. He sometimes eats like a child that hasn't been fed before in his life and then gets bummed out he ate too much.
I do get on my H a little bit about exercise because he has high blood pressure that is very much controllable if he exercises, and we've prioritized his health in our budget by getting him training sessions to keep him motivated. I see this as fair because I also prioritize exercise for myself. I want us both to be as healthy as possible and I'm not asking for anything crazy, just that we stay active enough for heart health. He'll also get on me sometimes about my unhealthy sleep habits, and that's fair. Neither of us take it to extremes.
I would never, however, tell him what to eat, or question a medication protocol described by his doctor. I think a lot of posters here (not necessarily in today's TW) have described situations where the H is acting like he "knows what's best for the baby" without sympathizing with the day to day realities of pregnancy, and that pisses me off. If my H, for example, told me to bring meat back into my diet because it was "good for the baby," I'd be furious. His discomfort with the idea of me eating raw sushi bothers me less, particularly since my MW agrees with him.
I dont feel like I'm expressing myself very well today, so I'll just love tit all the people who are bound to describe my opinion better.
@bdesterhouse I try to be as fair as possible but I will admit though that I am the dominant one in the relationship. However that is only because I need to be. My husband is Pakistani and very well educated in his field of engineering. He lived in London for 6 years until he was finally able to move here in May. There is a lot that he still doesn't know about Western society and how we do things. However, he knows way more than the average Pakistani were he to move straight to the US from Pakistan. Especially when it comes to stuff about Healthcare, he has no clue. And the most annoying thing is when his mother will tell him old-school stuff!! I don't talk to my MIL very much cuz she's stubborn and doesn't know how to listen. So what she will do is ask my husband about everything that's going on in our home. Especially regarding my pregnancy symptoms. Like right now, he has it ingrained in his head that I need to be eating. He sees me throw up everyday, he hears me complaining after every meal but he still doesn't get it. No matter how much I tell him. And I've had to explain to him what the uterus is and what the amniotic sac is. Because in Pakistan, they don't talk about these things. However, when it comes to engineering stuff....I don't butt in. He and my sister's husband are in the same field so they talk about it lot. And I told him, whatever advice you need, you get it from him because I have no idea on this subject. Long story short, I try to be fair.
@bdesterhouse I feel like DH and I are pretty fair in most areas. We both care about eating healthy foods as much as possible, but at the same time he knows what a hard time I'm having right now keeping things down. It's a very open conversation in our house. He usually just asks if there is anything I can eat, and then he'll include that amongst whatever other healthy options he makes. I usually try to eat some of the healthier options too, but that's more for my own benefit than his.
He has once or twice said no to something, but it didn't bother me.
So, have you all seen/heard about this new study that says Tylenol use during pregnancy is linked to side-effects in baby?? Like OMG!! It's ridiculous the studies they come up with. One day eggs are bad for you but the next day, they're GOOD for you!! Can't take the stress!
So a post on TW made me genuinely curious with this question
I have and I didn't feel it was appropriate to ask it on the TW discussion page
thing. For those women who don't approve of their husbands questioning what the
eat, try to say what they prefer not eaten while pregnant, or in general don't
like being questioned/told what to do by their spouse - do you give the same
respect to your spouse by not questioning what they do/ eat? I am genuinely
curious, if you think about situations that women have described on this site
that their spouses do that you say make you angry for them or you would go off
on your spouse if they did it - do you do the same to your spouse?
No two
marriages are alike and I am always curious how other households find common
balance or make things work. I have friends who the wife rules the roost so to
say, and their husbands walk on egg shell and things aren't equal, someone is
always getting short end of the straw. Then I have friends who the husband
rules the roost and the wife is the one on egg shells so to speak.
So I was
just curious if there are women here who think they are fair towards their
spouse or if they recognize that things can be one sided? I try to be fair in
how I run my household, but I know there are times I am selfish and my husband
gets the short end of the straw. It doesn't make me proud of myself, but it is
a flaw I recognize within myself. Curious if anyone else is the same way?
I am definitely the dominate one in our relationship, my husband calls me the Balabusta (yiddish for ball buster). As far as "fairness" goes, DH has high blood pressure and high cholesterol, so his doctor says he needs to work out and watch what he eats so I get on him about that. My doctor says I need to try and eat healthy, but at the end of the day it's more important I am keeping something down for baby then making sure I've eating every fruit and vegetable in the grocery store. So when DH yells at me for eating rice for dinner when it's all I can stomach that day I'm going to rip him a new one, but I'm not going to feel guilty when I tell him not to order a burger cause he's already had read meat twice this week. Fact is DH can stomach other things despite his health issues, right now I can't and since he's never been pregnant he doesn't get a say in how I feel.
@bdesterhouse I absolutely give my husband the same respect I expect for myself. He is a grown man. Even if I did feel he was eating a bunch of garbage I am not going to step in. I have kids to care for and he isn't one of them. If it was something he asked for help with I would step in only as far as he requested. (Ex. Remind him to take pills)
We are in an equal relationship. From day to day some things might naturally shift but we are partners. If both partners are fine with one or both commenting/making suggestions on eating habits/exercise or anything else that is fine for them. Dofferent things work for different people. It would not work for us.
The only thing I ever said was that I could not seriously date him if he smoked.
Edit We obviously have bumps on the way like everyone else. Sometimes we are all selfish or having a bad day but if it affects the other person we are called out on it and apologize.
I seem more dominant on the outside but he is more selfish so I have had to be assertive to keep things even. Its working so far.
I have 3 orders that got delivered today! And one is my first order from Stitch Fix and I can't wait to get home and try things on! I love getting fun mail!
So, have you all seen/heard about this new study that says Tylenol use during pregnancy is linked to side-effects in baby?? Like OMG!! It's ridiculous the studies they come up with. One day eggs are bad for you but the next day, they're GOOD for you!! Can't take the stress!
Honestly it looks like they used someone else's study to draw their own conclusions so I wouldn't be too concerned personally. It also said the study had parents assessing their children's behavior not psychologists, so reliability is iffy. Furthermore, 42% of moms were using Tylenol at 32 weeks (which is slightly less then half) and only 5% of the children in the study showed behavior issues. Correlation does not equal causation and I'm not even convinced there's a strong correlations, but of course check with your doctor if your unsure.
@afkash I'm another one who is not going to lose sleep over the Tylenol study. It is pretty fairly written, but they acknowledge that there's no known causal mechanism and the risk of behavioral problems is still pretty low across both groups. It could be a good jumping off point for further research, but the study alone won't stop me from taking Tylenol when I really need it.
I would say we are fairly equal about things esp when it comes to food and health.
So the only time he ever tells me what I should be eating when I have given him permission. Like when I have given him a box of girl scout cookies and I am like hold these for me and make sure I only eat one a day. He has much more self control then I do. So during the pregnancy I told him to remind me to eat a veg a day, I do not like veggies. So if he has not seen me eat a veggie, he will just ask hey what veggie would you like for dinner. But if do not give him permission he will not say anything on food with me,
Now where I get all dictated on his life is work/school. He is having a hard timing finding a better accountant job because he does not have his CPA yet. He wants a better job. But the only way that will happen if he starts studying for the CPA, he is naturally gifted so he has never study for anything in his life. He thinks reading over something before a test, is studying. Well with the CPA he has to actually study, soo I have been encouraging him to do that and he does not really approve but I tell him I gave him 3 years of him trying it on his own, you have lost that right I am now stepping esp since we have a baby on the way, you need to get your CPA done before the kid takes up all your time.
I'm getting increasingly annoyed by the threads started by randoms, who could just as easily post in a thread that's already designated to what they are talking about. Or, you know, here in the RANDOMS thread.
I'm getting increasingly annoyed by the threads started by randoms, who could just as easily post in a thread that's already designated to what they are talking about. Or, you know, here in the RANDOMS thread.
Yup. We gotta redirect people or it will keep happening. Come join the crusade!
@MrsDramaK and @Xstatic3333 I agree with you guys. It's ridiculous how much flip flopping they do. And if you don't understand the studies is easy to get freaked out. That's why I always continued to eat egg yolks and people would question me like "you know that's unhealthy for you, right?" Maybe, maybe not. But I'm not going to worry about it cuz I eat them every once in a while. Same thing with Tylenol. However, Tylenol doesn't even relieve my pain so I don't take it to begin with.
@skiingstark I just finished up with everything for the CPA exam earlier this year. It is a serious PITA. If he's open to suggestions on study material, the NINJA stuff from another71.com might be more up his alley than the Becker and Yaeger type courses (and it's boatloads cheaper).
Given your description of him (and granting that you can't know someone very well from a quick internet description) I'm guessing he thinks sitting through lectures and reading the books is a waste of time or just something that he doesn't need to do and that's the main focus for most courses. Where I think the NINJA material shines is that there are really good outline notes (both in written and audio formats) for each section that can help you stay refreshed on the overall section and the explanations and resources with the multiple choice questions are better than any I've seen.
If you poke around on the forums (at another71.com) there are even some people that only use the MCQ's to study from because they do better when applying the material and if it's something they don't know/get wrong the resources that are immediately available on screen to get you through it are very in-depth (assuming you decide to click through them all and read them which is the only way I think you can manage only working MCQ's).
I've used material from Becker, Yaeger, and NINJA and NINJA is by far my favorite and it's what I ended up using exclusively when I seriously started studying and sitting for exams (I also passed each part the first time with it mostly using the Notes, Flashcards, and MCQ's because I'm not a big textbook reader either).
Re: Weekly Randoms (8/15)
OH and that reminds me! Remember my smushed Kindle? I found one at work to borrow indefinitely
For the record, I do NOT blame you for wanting it back. I would do the exact same thing. And it's not like you're like, hi, give it NOW. She has months to figure out a new plan, right? I think the calmer you remain, the more she'll be forced to realize that she's being unreasonable.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
I should also add that I'm typically a very non-confrontational person, so if she had been even a little polite or understanding about the situation I would probably have said just let her keep it and buy a new one, but to blow up on you about it is ridiculous. Had I been in her place in this situation I wouldn't have been thrilled about having to buy one, but I would also feel really bad when I found out that your mother hadn't checked with you before giving it away and would have been grateful to have some time to save up for a replacement before you needed it back.
Mine was done a week ago as of...right now! And they still don't have the results for me! I've heard it can take up to 9 days but I can't wait that long ahhh!
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
In other news, DH and I closed on our house yesterday, so we're almost basically grown ups! Ahh!
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
@BumpasaurusRex @FishyMom Thank you for all the love
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
@peachesnbean She sounds adorable!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
So a post on TW made me genuinely curious with this question I have and I didn't feel it was appropriate to ask it on the TW discussion page thing. For those women who don't approve of their husbands questioning what the eat, try to say what they prefer not eaten while pregnant, or in general don't like being questioned/told what to do by their spouse - do you give the same respect to your spouse by not questioning what they do/ eat? I am genuinely curious, if you think about situations that women have described on this site that their spouses do that you say make you angry for them or you would go off on your spouse if they did it - do you do the same to your spouse?
No two marriages are alike and I am always curious how other households find common balance or make things work. I have friends who the wife rules the roost so to say, and their husbands walk on egg shell and things aren't equal, someone is always getting short end of the straw. Then I have friends who the husband rules the roost and the wife is the one on egg shells so to speak.
So I was just curious if there are women here who think they are fair towards their spouse or if they recognize that things can be one sided? I try to be fair in how I run my household, but I know there are times I am selfish and my husband gets the short end of the straw. It doesn't make me proud of myself, but it is a flaw I recognize within myself. Curious if anyone else is the same way?
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
I would never, however, tell him what to eat, or question a medication protocol described by his doctor. I think a lot of posters here (not necessarily in today's TW) have described situations where the H is acting like he "knows what's best for the baby" without sympathizing with the day to day realities of pregnancy, and that pisses me off. If my H, for example, told me to bring meat back into my diet because it was "good for the baby," I'd be furious. His discomfort with the idea of me eating raw sushi bothers me less, particularly since my MW agrees with him.
I dont feel like I'm expressing myself very well today, so I'll just love tit all the people who are bound to describe my opinion better.
My husband is Pakistani and very well educated in his field of engineering. He lived in London for 6 years until he was finally able to move here in May.
There is a lot that he still doesn't know about Western society and how we do things. However, he knows way more than the average Pakistani were he to move straight to the US from Pakistan.
Especially when it comes to stuff about Healthcare, he has no clue. And the most annoying thing is when his mother will tell him old-school stuff!! I don't talk to my MIL very much cuz she's stubborn and doesn't know how to listen. So what she will do is ask my husband about everything that's going on in our home. Especially regarding my pregnancy symptoms. Like right now, he has it ingrained in his head that I need to be eating.
He sees me throw up everyday, he hears me complaining after every meal but he still doesn't get it. No matter how much I tell him.
And I've had to explain to him what the uterus is and what the amniotic sac is. Because in Pakistan, they don't talk about these things.
However, when it comes to engineering stuff....I don't butt in. He and my sister's husband are in the same field so they talk about it lot. And I told him, whatever advice you need, you get it from him because I have no idea on this subject.
Long story short, I try to be fair.
He has once or twice said no to something, but it didn't bother me.
Like OMG!! It's ridiculous the studies they come up with. One day eggs are bad for you but the next day, they're GOOD for you!!
Can't take the stress!
Here's the link to the story. https://www.cnn.com/2016/08/15/health/acetaminophen-pregnancy-kids-adhd/
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
We are in an equal relationship. From day to day some things might naturally shift but we are partners. If both partners are fine with one or both commenting/making suggestions on eating habits/exercise or anything else that is fine for them. Dofferent things work for different people. It would not work for us.
The only thing I ever said was that I could not seriously date him if he smoked.
Edit We obviously have bumps on the way like everyone else. Sometimes we are all selfish or having a bad day but if it affects the other person we are called out on it and apologize.
I seem more dominant on the outside but he is more selfish so I have had to be assertive to keep things even. Its working so far.
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
So the only time he ever tells me what I should be eating when I have given him permission. Like when I have given him a box of girl scout cookies and I am like hold these for me and make sure I only eat one a day. He has much more self control then I do. So during the pregnancy I told him to remind me to eat a veg a day, I do not like veggies. So if he has not seen me eat a veggie, he will just ask hey what veggie would you like for dinner. But if do not give him permission he will not say anything on food with me,
Now where I get all dictated on his life is work/school. He is having a hard timing finding a better accountant job because he does not have his CPA yet. He wants a better job. But the only way that will happen if he starts studying for the CPA, he is naturally gifted so he has never study for anything in his life. He thinks reading over something before a test, is studying. Well with the CPA he has to actually study, soo I have been encouraging him to do that and he does not really approve but I tell him I gave him 3 years of him trying it on his own, you have lost that right I am now stepping esp since we have a baby on the way, you need to get your CPA done before the kid takes up all your time.
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
Or, you know, here in the RANDOMS thread.
Given your description of him (and granting that you can't know someone very well from a quick internet description) I'm guessing he thinks sitting through lectures and reading the books is a waste of time or just something that he doesn't need to do and that's the main focus for most courses. Where I think the NINJA material shines is that there are really good outline notes (both in written and audio formats) for each section that can help you stay refreshed on the overall section and the explanations and resources with the multiple choice questions are better than any I've seen.
If you poke around on the forums (at another71.com) there are even some people that only use the MCQ's to study from because they do better when applying the material and if it's something they don't know/get wrong the resources that are immediately available on screen to get you through it are very in-depth (assuming you decide to click through them all and read them which is the only way I think you can manage only working MCQ's).
I've used material from Becker, Yaeger, and NINJA and NINJA is by far my favorite and it's what I ended up using exclusively when I seriously started studying and sitting for exams (I also passed each part the first time with it mostly using the Notes, Flashcards, and MCQ's because I'm not a big textbook reader either).