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MrsMcMilkshakes · August 2016

Hello, I'm new here and this is my first post! I saw that we're supposed to introduce ourselves so here it goes...I'm 22, DH and I just had our second anniversary and have been sort-of trying since we got married. I had a couple of ruptured ovarian cysts one after the other a few months after we got married so I went on OCP to try and regulate the cysts and pain. The pills made me sick so I stopped after a couple months and we decided we wanted a baby whenever it happened naturally. Here we are almost a year and a half after that and absolutely nothing. I've had another ruptured cyst and I think a few more non-ruptured ones (just chilling, making me miserable, y'know, no biggie) but when I was in for my last cyst they said they had no reason to consider a PCOS diagnosis at the time. I also get very sick before and during my period and have been diagnosed with dysmenhorrea (if that is how you spell it!)

I guess I'm not a classic case because I am young and relatively poor--we were kind of hoping for a baby to just happen and we would work hard to make ends meet since we don't mind pinching pennies and making sacrifices. It's hard to justify the medical bills for the tests since we want to keep and build our savings for a house and baby-expenses if that happens....but it's also so hard to just sit and wait around while it seems like there is something wrong. We've talked about doing the general fertility tests to see if they can find a problem and then deciding how to move forward.

It's been very hard to watch so many people I know get pregnant. I feel like my body has betrayed me and I struggle so bad with feeling like I'm less than my friends who get to have babies without even trying. And I feel like I'm not even allowed to want this or to be heartbroken because I'm not in the "classic" position in life where people start having their children. I'm trying to distract myself and have the opportunity to return to school completely on grants, so I am hoping that can sufficiently buy me some time before I lose my mind

Thank you all for letting me share your corner. I definitely appreciate any advice on this, especially on getting fertility testing done. This is a totally new realm for me.

-H

EverythingsBetterOutside · August 2016

Welcome! First, you're definitely allowed to want a baby naturally and to be sad it isn't happening. The good news is you're still young, so you should have lots of time. Personally, if you can swing it, I would get the fertility testing if just for that peace of mind that you do have time. My husband and I don't believe fertility treatments are right for us for ethical/religious reasons but got testing mostly to see if the inability to get pregnant is a symptom of something more serious with our health (tumors, thyroid problems, etc). I've also had friends who discovered issues when they were relatively young and were told something like, if you don't get pregnant in the next year or two it will not be possible. At least then you'll know if you'll be able to wait a while longer while you save more money, get more education, get further in your careers, etc. or is it's important to address this now.

joneser1281 · August 2016

Hi @MrsMcMilkshakes,

Welcome! I definitely know how you feel... Like everyone is just passing you by with pregnancies and wondering what is wrong with yourself. It may not be much comfort to hear (because sometimes I think nothing makes us feel better when we're upset about not getting PG), but you are young. I think it is great that you are looking into and addressing possible health issues now. You still have a great deal of time to learn about your health and have a family. I am constantly kicking myself that we waited 3 years into marriage (when I was 30) before trying to start a family. I wish we would have started as soon as we got married. Money is an issue for us too. We may not struggle as much as others financially, but IF tests and procedures are very pricey and most are not covered by insurance for us. We started with the least expensive procedures possible and kind of worked our way through the years. I always think if I had magic powers, I would make it so every IF test or procedure worked to give absolute answers or to give a couple a baby. For us, knowing we have to spend a great deal of money on procedures is hard enough, but knowing that there's no guarantee that they will work, makes it ridiculously hard to make decisions. I agree... If you can manage to have the testing done, I think it will make you feel a lot better. I hope you're able to get some answers to help ease your mind.

MrsMcMilkshakes · August 2016

Thank you both so much for your responses! We are thinking along the same lines, check to see if it's a pressing problem and if it's not, take our time and see what happens and wait for treatment (if we opt for it at all, we haven't decided what we'd be comfortable with yet) until we're a little more financially comfy.

IowaLove89 · August 2016

Welcome!

You are absolutely justified in your feelings! Also, distracting myself with school did help me. I hope it helps you, too.

Also, if you haven't already, if the time comes you want to seek treatment, I highly recommend doing the leg work of getting insurance codes for tests, appointments, and meds, and calling your insurance about them. Although "infertility" isn't covered for us, many of our tests weren't actually coded as infertiltiy- just diagnostics- which can made things much more affordable. Through doing this, I also found that letrozole (Femara) is covered while clomid isn't. I went from paying 80 some dollars a month to 3. It was a huge difference.

MrsMcMilkshakes · August 2016

Hi IowaLove89, thank you for the advice!! I hope school distracts me too...glad it works for some people

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