Anyone else have disinterested in-laws?

birdiedawson · August 2016

my husbands family never asks about my pregnancy, never checks in, and seems disinterested in anything I'm involved in. Until we had a gender reveal, and they barely said anything to me afterward. But now they're pushing we name the baby after my husband and his dad. What would make them shun me from their family?

ThePax89 · August 2016

Some parents just aren't that into it. My in laws are iffy on their interest level. They didn't acknowledge my pregnancy until my daughter was born. Honestly.

katesmama0706 · August 2016

My husband's family is overly interested in our lives to the point of insanity. I swear my MIL would tie any of her kids back to their umbilical cord if she could. But interested in my pregnancies? Not so much. They're interested in babies after their born but they couldn't care less about the actual pregnancy. Unless maybe it's to tell me I'm doing everything wrong.

hayhay2501 · August 2016

My inlaws are probably the most disinterested people in my life. To the point where the first time I saw them after getting pregnant I cried. The only question I was asked was when my father inlaws asked "so how did work take it." I told my boss this and he went - DID YOU TELL HIM YOUR BOSS CRIED HE WAS SO HAPPY?!

Theyve offered zero support, haven't checked in with me once and when we told them I was pregnant they say "we're too young to be grandparents." (they're in their 60's and DH and I are 30...)

So yea- I completely commiserate! But sadly can't tell you why your inlaws are so ducky. My husband says for mine it's because they're British but all my British friends are horrified. Adding to it my mom recently passed away so I would really love my mother in law to step up. Hopefully both of ours step it up over the next few months!

reenalamba · August 2016

Guess its no different anywhere in the world. .
I thought my MIL FI SIL GRANNYMIL ate the only one in this world who are behaving this way.. After we shared the news my mil fall ill... n whenever my health is down she also gets unwell. . On our second visit to gynae she also came along... i was like ok. . But there she said something in a very distasteful manner "pregnancy is not a disease"... We all know that rgt. . But the way she said that in front of gynae in a very taunting way asI was having fatigue, morning sickness, nausea...and apart from that she was back bitting abu me which I came to know. .
We had quite a bad argument once we returned home.. which turned bit ugly..my FIL was all in her support..

My whole first trimester after we shared the news because of all this was so emotionally drained out that all i was doing was crying all the time. . N expecting them to behave like my parents. .
but I built up my courage and now am least bothered dt dy don't care for me and they are making situations difficult for me. .
just believe in almighty n have faith in him. .
All we need is his blessings n love

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

My FIL and SIL are like this. They never reach out to me or ask how I/the baby/DD are doing or feeling. However, I honestly am pretty grateful for that because anytime I do have to interact with them it's miserable (they both have mental illnesses but refuse to acknowledge that they have them or get them treated so they can be very difficult to get along with). And, like your FIL, if this baby is a boy I can totally see my FIL trying to push us into naming it after him. Thankfully DH will not be on board with that.

ETA I will add that once the baby is here, don't be surprised if your in-laws show more interest in the baby when they're around him, but still don't reach out to you. SIL is obsessed with the idea of aunt/niece matching outfits, which I always say no to because I really hate matching outfits period, and FIL is the king of giving unwanted advice, particularly of the "Catholic schools are the best option and only bad parents send kids to public schools" variety (never mind that I went to public school).

gonetothesea · August 2016

Yep! I am in the same boat. They don't care much about anything. When we were planning our wedding 2 years ago, they didn't mention a peep about it, and left the reception after dinner. They're so weird. I think it's also strange to be because my family is the complete opposite, so I assume every family is as caring and interested as mine. But, sadly, it's not the case.

FIL and MIL are invited to the sex reveal next Saturday, but they haven't even called to RSVP. So who knows if they are even coming. Whatever.

stumptownmama · August 2016

I can relate. My Mil and Fil live 20 minutes away, as do my parents. They never call or ask about anything. We are trying to arrange a party to reveal the sex but they won't tell us if they are free the weekend we are considering (next weekend). They don't celebrate anything or make a big deal out of holidays/birthdays, etc. They said that we could just tell them over the phone.

Wholesome · August 2016

My in laws are super helpful, they contact my husband for periodic updates and were indispensable when I was so sick and couldn't function as a mom.

My family on the other hand, not so much. They haven't checked in on me once. I guess they figure I'll tell them what needs to be communicated. I don't have the touchy feely type of family that most peope have. We hug a first hello and final goodbye before we depart from visitations but that's just about as much physical contact as we do. My husband always feels weird around them because I guess we're formal... Haha, I always feel weird around his family because they have no boundaries... Like, seriously, do you have to hug me each time we see each other and each time we leave and do back rubs and casual touching everywhere they can inbetween?! I need to recover after visiting with them.

BrennansMom2012 · August 2016

My inlaws are pretty much the same way but weird as hell. They back out of commitments that are weeks in advance but (like the other night) drop by the house at 8p uninvited, calling to let us know as they're turning down our street--just to say hi. My MIL also informed me that her offer to paint the nursery can't be fulfilled because she has arthritis in her hand. Then she continued telling me about how great the bathroom she just re-did and her newly laid flower garden are. Um, I thought you just said you have arthritis. My hubby even looked at her like, wtf? Ever since they found out this second child is also a boy they are completely aloof and could care less. Last time I sent them a pic of the ultrasound they didn't respond for days. It sucks but a blessing in a way. I couldn't stand to be around them for long periods of time. Lol

gapeachrn · August 2016

I can relate. My in-laws haven't texted or called me to see how things are going. And mind you, this is after two late first trimester losses. My husband will talk to them once a week excited about starting the nursery and baby stuff, but they hardly ever have anything to add.
Also starting to rub me the wrong way that his family hasn't mentioned anything about possible shower days. We live in Ga and they live in Texas, so you have to plan months in advance for us to visit. Especially with the holidays at the end of the year and me being a nurse, it's hard planning time off. I'm leaving it at, "it is what it is." I'm not going to stress over it.

TinaBelcher · August 2016

I wish. I really like my MIL but I'm a private person, I don't want to talk on the phone for an hour after work I just want to relax with H and be left alone! (My family is also very close to each other but they give me space because that kind of constant interaction is exhausting for me)

AshleySparkle720 · August 2016

MIL is super uninterested this pregnancy. She was all in my business with DD and now she doesn't ask about me. We had a big falling out with her in January so at this point neither dh or I care that she's keeping her distance.

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