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January 2016 Moms
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Feelings Rant

ShortStuff5ShortStuff5 member
in January 2016 Moms
I've been finding myself very bored lately. My husband was in the military and sustained injuries such as tramatic brain injury and post tramatic stress etc. He tries to sleep at night but usually ends up not being able to sleep or only sleeps a few hours and is right awake then stays up all night on the computer usually when our daughter wakes he's finally starting to get tired enough to lay back down and then proceeds to sleep most of the day until I bother him to get out of bed which is usually me getting upset he's sleeping all day because I feel I'm doing everything on my own. I wake with our daughter anytime she wakes up I do all the morning day and night shifts. 24/7 I'm spending time with her feeding her changing her everything. On top of all that I'm cleaning house doing laundry getting food prepared which we do eat out often seeing as we are on such different schedules. He recently quit his job 2 months ago and I am a stay at home mom for the time being I love that he is home but we still aren't getting enough time with him. Sometimes he will be gone most of the day doing things for family such as car trouble seeing as he is a mechanic or doing things for his dad who is in a wheelchair from Vietnam and then he will come home and want to get straight on the computer which usually ends in us bickering because I've sat at home all day playing with baby. I love spending time with out daughter all I'm really asking for is a 15 min break to get off the floor and rest my back on the couch. I'm not saying he doesn't ever help he does and some days he does help a bit but it never lasts. I need to find more things to do with our daughter but living in a small town there just is not much but going on a walk to the park in which all she can do is sit in the baby swing and the heat we don't stay long. She's 7 months old I don't have a ton of friends and one of the girls I graduated with had a daughter 5 days after me and I try to get her to want to get the babies together and she always says that's a good idea etc but never actually acts on it I know its just cause it's me I was never the cool kid in school because she will say she's busy but then hang out with one of her best friends. I feel lonely aside from my daughter who I love and enjoy spending time with all day everyday I just want to give her more than sitting at home in the living room playing with toys or in her Walker or her jumper. I want my husband to be more present. Yes we have had a talk he believes he's doing alot and sees no problems and I see it all in a different way. What do you Mommies do with your babies? What do you do to keep yourself happy and alive. I try to relax when she sleeps watch my shows or take a nice unrushed shower. Sincerely feeling frustrated!
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Re: Feelings Rant

  • l4rkl4rk member
    I have no idea what you should do but I do want to validate your feelings: I would be PISSED. As long as he's home, he should be doing 50% of the baby minding. If he wants you to take care of everything, then he needs to go back to work at the very least. My SO works full time and he exclusively watches our daughter from 6 - 8 am every day, and helps me out for at least a couple hours every evening. My attitude is "I don't care what you do or where you go but you're bringing a baby with you." Maybe a more concrete schedule for when he watches LO each day will help? Also if he's not listening to you, is it possible to rally your MIL? In my experience, they can sometimes get through to their stubborn sons when no one else can...
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  • stephanienjerstephanienjer member
    I'm going through something very similar. My husband sustained a brain injury from an auto accident, and we've been dealing with it for a year and a half. You know they struggle, but it doesn't help you out, does it?
    Do you have a support system in town?  I have a group of ladies I can call on for little things, but also that don't even bat an eye about me toting my LO EVERYWHERE. They just take her from me and we still get a visit, and my body gets a break. (I don't know about your LO, but mine is like a cross between a bear and an alligator when it comes to strength and squirming.) I had a little breakdown in front of a few of them, and next thing I knew, I was in the kitchen of one of them as they were all preparing me freezer meals--at their expense. 
    Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you had the means, you know you would say yes at a call for help, so remember you deserve the same. 
    The other thing I would suggest is to seek out a local babywearing group. Of all the groups I've tried--La Leche, Area Moms, etc., they are the most supportive, and the least agenda driven. You don't even have to be a regular wearer to fit it. Some people wheel their strollers right into our meetings--myself included. If you want to talk, feel free to message me. I really, really, know what you're going through.
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