Intro - hello (TW's)

Bok Bagok · August 2016

Hello, everyone. I didn't see an introduction thread so I hope its ok I'm starting this new one to introduce myself and my story, (TW's all over the place) and sorry this is long. I'm part of the March 2017 board, I don't post much there and feel like I belong here more I am lucky enough to have my 2.5 year old daughter, but since her birth I've had two missed miscarriages. The first was discovered at the 8 week scan and the second was discovered at my 12 week scan, there had been a heart beat at the 8 week scan.

I recently went through all the regular fertility testing with a specialist and they found out I have a chromosome issue that can cause early miscarriage and also a very small uterine septum. The doctor didn't think it was necessary to remove it.

My husband and I had just started to really come to terms that we might not have another baby and had given ourselves to October 2016 to get pregnant. This would give us a baby before I turned 40. Since the two losses I've really gone downhill and I needed to give myself a timeframe, I needed to know when I could move forward with my life. Anyway, here I am now 6w2d pregnant. It came as a big shock and at first I was doing really well, just going with the flow, but now I'm not doing so great. The past few days I started to have my usual morning sickness, so I thought ok well things are going along fine. Then today I started spotting, just that brown discharge that I know is so common and in fact I had it with all my pregnancies, including my daughter. But for some reason, it's got me spooked to the core. I just know this baby is going to end in another MC. And while before I thought I was handling this pregnancy all so well, cool calm and collected, I'm starting to feel panicky now and attached when I thought I was doing a good job at keeping it all at a distance. I'm even sitting here thinking "I think my sickness symptoms are gone", I feel like I can't trust my own judgement or instincts. My first US isn't until 8/19, two weeks away. I just don't even have the emotional energy to call the OBGYN and ask for an earlier scan or betas done.

Ugh, I'm a mess and I just needed to unload all that someplace where I know people would understand. Sorry if it was a little all over the place, it's like how do you fit almost two years of fertility issues in a short-ish post and cover all the important points, I tired

KyCade3013 · August 2016

Hey, first sorry for your losses. I had a strong heart beat at my 7 week with my last, small hematoma (which apparently most women just have and go on to have healthy babies) and lost that baby at 10 weeks. My son is also 2.5 and I'm 6 weeks and 2 days today. Anyhow, I get exactly how you are feeling and I just posted something really similar. I'm not someone who spots, even with the hematoma I had zero blood, so I'm completely in that dark where I have zero clue if anything is wrong right now because my body is annoyingly ambiguous either way. I have my 7 week scan Friday for the heartbeat- is it possible for them to push yours up to next week? From my understanding, the viability scan can be done from 6.5 weeks to 8.5 weeks. I know it's not a "safe zone" yet, but I think it may help give you some piece of mind at least for this week? There's also a crazy part of me that wants to buy a Doppler - but I know that's crazy and I need to calm down. (I think they don't work until over 12 weeks?)

edited for sp.

JustAnotherUsername16 · August 2016

Welcome to the board - you are always welcome here. You are also not the only March 2017 momma here - there are a few of us who can empathize through our struggles together. I wish I could take away your anxiety, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was drowning in it myself too. Just know that I am thinking about you and sending prayers your way.

Bok Bagok · August 2016

KyCade3013 said:

Hey, first sorry for your losses. I had a strong heart beat at my 7 week with my last, small hematoma (which apparently most women just have and go on to have healthy babies) and lost that baby at 10 weeks. My son is also 2.5 and I'm 6 weeks and 2 days today. Anyhow, I get exactly how you are feeling and I just posted something really similar. I'm not someone who spots, even with the hematoma I had zero blood, so I'm completely in that dark where I have zero clue if anything is wrong right now because my body is annoyingly ambiguous either way. I have my 7 week scan Friday for the heartbeat- is it possible for them to push yours up to next week? From my understanding, the viability scan can be done from 6.5 weeks to 8.5 weeks. I know it's not a "safe zone" yet, but I think it may help give you some piece of mind at least for this week? There's also a crazy part of me that wants to buy a Doppler - but I know that's crazy and I need to calm down. (I think they don't work until over 12 weeks?)

edited for sp.

Thanks so much. Im sorry to hear about your loss as well. It can make you feel crazy and run your mind in circles when you try to read your body's signs, especially if there aren't any. I keep thinking about calling the doctor and asking for an earlier appointment, but it's a new OBGYN that I"m going to, because I had such bad experiences with my previous one and I'm just worried about calling and giving my sob story. I always feel like I'm trying to convince them or justify to them why I want to be seen early. This might not be the case with these new doctors, but it certainly was the case with the last OBGYN office I went to. Maybe I just have shell shock from them. Secondly, my husband has gotten a new job and so our insurance will be changing the week of my appointment, so if I go sooner Id have to update the insurance with them a second time. I know these are totally lame reasons, and I'm just being lazy. But seriously, I'm just that down in the dumps that anything that involves the slightest effort is too much. Morning sickness doesn't help you have a clear head either.
Are you going to get the doppler? I saw on the March board that everyone is suggesting the Sonoline B (or something like that). I'm curious about them too, but I could just imagine me not being able to find it and sending myself into a panic. I did read someone said it worked for them around 9.5 weeks and others said 10 weeks. Your appointment is on the 12th? Good luck! I hope everything goes well and will be keeping an eye out for good news from you

Bok Bagok · August 2016

DaniBanani16 said:

Welcome to the board - you are always welcome here. You are also not the only March 2017 momma here - there are a few of us who can empathize through our struggles together. I wish I could take away your anxiety, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was drowning in it myself too. Just know that I am thinking about you and sending prayers your way.

Thank you for the warm welcome! It certainly helps to not feel alone.

chrstna618 · August 2016

You are absolutely welcome here! (and I'm a March mom too!) This is a safe place to share fears and get some reassurance from ladies who have been there and are going through it with you.

I have a sonoline B Doppler and was able to hear in the middle of my 9th week (now almost 11). I know the fear of not being able to find them but I've found Bean every time, though the first go took a while and practice. It's NOT a great thing to do often but it has helped me in this anxious time where my last pregnancy was lost (lost probably around 9w, MC at 12w) until my next appt at 13w.

Creepy internet hugs! May we all have sticky babies!

Bok Bagok · August 2016

Thanks all. I decided to call my new OBGYN this morning and ask them to see me sooner. My symptoms are going away and I've totally convinced myself the baby is gone. I don't want to torture myself anymore.

JustAnotherUsername16 · August 2016

FX. Keep us updated. We will be praying for you.

waterfall213 · August 2016

Welcome and good luck to you. I hope your appointment goes well.

Bok Bagok · August 2016

So good news! The new OBGYN office is so much better than my old one, they were able to squeeze me in today for an early ultrasound and we saw a heartbeat. Everything measured properly. I could not believe it, I had totally convinced myself the baby was gone. So for now I can relax. Thanks to all of you for the good wishes.

amwangel · August 2016

That's awesome that they were so accommodating! Hooray for good medical professionals!!

KyCade3013 · August 2016

That's amazing news!! So happy for you!!!

Regarding baby dopplers- I bought the most popular one on Amazon yesterday actually!! It's called womb music heart beat monitor. Over 900 reviews, 4.5 stars. I'm going to use it sparingly (if I get that far) to ease my nerves! Praying like crazy it goes ok Friday. Will keep you updated on what happens! Thanks @Bok Bagok

Intro - hello (TW's)

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