Family rant/vent

ABombard12 · August 2016

So my mother sister and I have always been close. So close my nephew and neice are like my own children. Ever since I had my LO it has been so hard and it hurts because it seems every decision I have made from breastfeeding, not giving solids until six months and now that I'm giving solids what I give him isn't enough (I. E. He had grilled cheese with spinach and apparently that wasn't "solids enough" and why can't he have the pizza?) umm Bc I said so? Just never seems to be enough. Comments about breastfeeding etc. and tonight after me telling them over and over no ice cream or cake because I wanted to give him his first on his birthday Bc I'm excited about his reaction etx doesn't my sister give him some frostin behind my back and it's apparently funny. My DH thought j was going to punch her I got so mad. Please tell me others are having some issues with their family and their mothering decisions. And I'm not totally alone

ABombard12 · August 2016

It makes me so sad... Hate not having the support of my family especially those that I'm so close with.

missliz53 · August 2016

Nope, I think most of us are in the same boat with family overstepping our boudaries and not respecting us and thinking they know best. I think it's even worse if you are very close to them.

Totally off the subject, but I was warned ahead of time that you may want to let your lo have a taste of ice cream and cake prior to their b-day because not every kid goes nuts over that stuff on their first taste. My friends twins puked all over the place, and another friend's kid starting screaming when he tasted his cake. I'm guessing our smash cupcake is going to end up frostine side down on the floor. Not that it's ok for your sister to go behind your back and give that to your lo.

kmcshane0211 · August 2016

I think this seems to be such a common issue. I know I deal with these types of comments from time to time. It's tough to be made out as "the bad guy" when what you're actually doing is GOOD! Maybe try to just look at this behavior as annoying and try not to let it get to you.

cait040415 · August 2016

All the time!!! My mom makes jokes about giving LO 'sips' of Coke or tea and my dad gave my LO a Popsicle behind my back. I don't worry too much about sugar right now, but I am really not a fan of things with artificial dyes or lots of preservatives, so that made me pretty furious. The only thing that keeps me sane is remembering that my parents raised me and I turned out happy and healthy, and that with as much as they love LO, they would never intentionally do anything that would seriously put her in harm's way. Yes, it's rude as hell, but I think my family understands now that there are some boundaries they can push and some that are hard limits, and that I won't hesitate to take away their time with LO if they really cross that line. Stay strong, Momma!

ABombard12 · August 2016

I agree with everything you all have said. Thanks for making me feel like its not just me and my crazy family. I just hate the fact that I have respected their wishes with their kids 100% and now that its my turn they can't do the same. @cait040415 Funny you say that about taking the time away from them with LO, immediately after my sister said so does this mean I cant watch him anymore.. please just tell me I can? I wanted to punch her in the face hah (not really but was so aggravated). Im just SOOOOO over all the comments about breastfeeding and then me giving him food and then what im giving not enough... no I don't want him have Cheetos why when he can have a healthier option sitting right there!? I just don't get it maybe im a nut with food but then im a nut ha

@missliz53 It makes sense they don't like it right away - my LO is like that with most new foods makes a face the first time and takes like the third try to like it. I guess when she gave him the frosting he made a "gross" face and she kept telling me he didn't even like it... (and again had to tell her its not the point the point was I asked her not to and she did it anyway). Maybe I will try it out with him a little bit before his birthday so he enjoys his cake more. But again...as the mother I WILL let him try it

Who knows maybe im a control freak bc I have never felt that angry about something so small but I think my mama bear came out

booksandcleverness81 · August 2016

You aren't doing anything wrong! I don't understand why anyone criticizes breastfeeding, it just makes no sense to me. And how hard is it to understand that a baby doesn't need junk food? Tell your family to do a little research into what's in the foods they want to feed your infant, and ask exactly what in those foods they think is good for them and why they think a baby needs to be full of preservatives and sugar? It also sounds like they are way overestimating how much solid food an infant needs. Perhaps give them some literature on this (and a reminder that childhood obesity is way too common in America and this type of thing is part of the problem). I think if they don't seem to know that what they are doing is unhealthy, maybe some education will help them see your perspective on the issue. Good luck, we all seem to deal with this in some way or another. My dad just said the other day that now that LO is almost one I can stop breastfeeding. I was like... um, no, not sure why you thought that but it ain't happening. If I could breastfeed this kid till he's ten I would, lol.

shelbydd · August 2016

Yes. I got into a heated argument with my sister. I'm actually pretty laid back and try not to let most things bother me. She got a big chocolate brownie with chocolate frosting while we were out to eat a few weeks ago. She gave LO a small bite which I didn't get upset about but after the 3rd bite I told her that was enough. She ignored me and by the end of it she was holding pieces in front of him so he would reach for it, telling me "but look, he wants it!" And laughing when I got pissed off. Most other people do respect me enough as a parent not to do stuff like that but with my sister it's affecting our relationship. She got really hurt when my sister in law got to keep LO overnight for his first time away from me but when she asked I told her no. If she can't do what I ask when I'm sitting right in front of her why in the world would I think she would when I'm not there?

ABombard12 · August 2016

It is so hard and it seems all the criticism is surrounding food/breastfeeding. I originally thought when LO was an infant and me a first time mom that going to my mothers would be so easy as a couple first outings with LO because I could breastfeed him and not have an issue... well I still get the comments now.. "isn't he getting too old?" I now avoid feeding him there so planning trips I tend to nurse him before or right after just to avoid the stupid comments. Yes my plan was a year but I am letting him decide to wean if and when he wants and honestly I don't see an end in sight any time soon. I agree, little tastes of some food is fine but I like to know what is going in his little body. Even out and about feeding him I always think ok do I know exactly what is in this? I just figure he is so young and while I can I want to start his eating slate with clean healthy food because lord knows later he will be eating bad things im sure like donuts, fried food, etc. and whatever else when I can't make that decision for him. I don't know it just seems the whole feeding thing seems to be the foundation of all the parenting criticism which is also crazy because my mother is HUGE on healthy and organic normally.....just not with my kid? She used to yell at my sister because my niece would walk around with huge thing of cheese puffs or cereal and not eat real meals... and now I try to feed him dinners/full balanced meals and I keep getting the criticism now. I guess it just never ends ha (enter eye roll)

FatPony · August 2016

What the hell is it about breastfeeding that upsets ppl??!! We FF, but I don't get my panties in a snit when I see moms breastfeeding. Whip those boobies out and get your kid fed for free!!

If I can BF my next one (fingers crossed!!), I'm going to do it everywhere, with a baleful stare at anyone that seems to have a problem with it.

Sorry about the rant - I think you should be proud that you're nurturing your baby the way you want. Don't let anyone tell you different!

LoveLee85 · August 2016

I made the mistake ONE TIME of letting DH give our LO a finger nails shavings worth of vanilla ice cream....next thing I know people are trying to shovel chocolate cake with chocolate syrup and chocolate ice cream topped with whip cream in my 10 mom olds mouth?!?!?!?! How on Earth is that the same thing???? Frustrating. I stopped the spoon before it got to his mouth, thank goodness.

ABombard12 · August 2016

@lovelee85 what is it with the crap food/sweets that everyone wants to shove in babies mouths? I mean don't get me wrong I will let him have sweets later and what not but why do people want to force it so early!? you kno they will become toddlers and kids screaming for ice cream and ring pops either way! ha

Yiggle09 · August 2016

My husband is the one who is pushing the sweets and the juice and its frustrating. He goes its not any sweeter than the fruit puree and doesnt have any more sugar than fruit. I'm like its not about that its about spoiling their growing tastes and skewing it to want crud instead of good sugars and things that yes are sugary but are still good for them instead of cake or ice cream. I almost feel its like people get satisfaction at giving children things first no matter what it is

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