Please Help Me

ChrissyluvsPuppies · August 2016

Hi,
So- I've been recovering from pneumonia (thank you for the well wishes last month) and I just experienced a death in the family. It has been the worst few days in my life- I feel like my heart was taken. I don't know what to do. My husband is away on a business trip and won't be back until Sunday night. I'm alone. I'm so scared. I can't eat and haven't eaten since Sunday. I keep vomiting. I can't sleep. I have panic attacks. I am crying all day.

I am writing to see if anyone knows where I can get help? I don't know what the options are in terms of medication. I am so sad.

Please help. I am new to my town so I am not sure how to figure out who to contact.

LinziLoo09 · August 2016

First of all, I'm so sorry for everything you're going through, and please let me express my condolences for your loss.

Depending on your insurance, it may be good to start with a primary care physician. Especially if the anxiety is more acute - tied to your recent loss - a PCP may be able to prescribe something to help with anxiety attacks and refer you to a mental health provider in your area as well. If you want to start with counseling, I recommend that you start with Psychology Today's Find a Therapist search option. https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/ You can look for therapists in your area who accept your insurance and focus on your specific needs. These will be talk therapists, as opposed to psychiatrists, but I usually find that, for many issues, having a joint pharmacological and counseling approach renders the best results for patients. Please let me know if you have any questions, and good luck.

penelope4612 · August 2016

Hi

Im sorry for your loss and that you're having such a difficult time. Do you already have an OB in your new town? If you contact them they may be able to refer you to someone.

cjt121413 · August 2016

Hi. I'm so sorry you're going through this hard time. I would agree with PP that a call to your Ob would be a good first step. Otherwise, you might consider just going to the ER because it sounds like you're having a hard time eating and keeping food down. In the meantime, try to take deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing. Pregnancy hormones can be hard to deal with in the best of circumstances, and you're under a lot of stress.

Keep us posted. I'm thinking of you.

mysteryship · August 2016

I agree with PPs, your primary care or OB might be a good first step. In my experience they've been able to help me out with medication quickly, while finding a psychiatrist to manage meds can take longer. They may also be able to point you towards a good therapist who can help in conjunction with meds. Different docs may have different takes on meds during pregnancy - mine have been fine with me taking my antidepressant, saying it's healthier than not taking it.

Also, this isn't going to be your complete solution, but if there's a prenatal or restorative yoga class near you, it might help to take an hour to focus on relaxation. Or find a video on YouTube to coach you through some breathing exercises, it's definitely helped me in moments of panic.

I'll be thinking of you, I know you'll find a way through this.

ChrissyluvsPuppies · August 2016

Thanks you all. I called my OB- they want me to go to the ER- I can't afford another ER trip. I was in the ER early last month for the pneumonia. I also have a daughter and I can't be away from her when my husband is out of town and we don't know anyone who could watch her for an extended period of time.

I tried calling my Primary Care, but they can't fit me in until Friday. Urgent care won't accept me.

Thanks for your help- I will look into a therapist, I just feel like it's going to take a while to get the care I need.

jptrumptone · August 2016

I'm very sorry for your loss. Deaths in the family are very difficult to deal with! I lost my mother a couple of years ago and I had to change up my anti-depressants because the grief was more than I can handle.

Your insurance company should also provide resources for finding doctors in your area.

Exercise is also important to help manage anxiety and depression. You might find that taking a walk and calling a friend or relative, or even DH.

Be prepared to get some push back on medications with a PCP or Psychiatrist. Many are worried about interactions of anxiety and depression medication with pregnancy but Zoloft and Wellbutrin are generally considered safe. Also most of the concerns with these medications are related to the first trimester, which you should be out of. Also, remember that anti-depressants can take 2 weeks to work so they aren't really a short term solution, whereas meditation, exercise, etc might provide you some more immediate relief.

For sustenance, you might try to see if you can drink juice or even nibble on crackers. I know you probably don't have much of an appetite, but getting something in your system is good for you. I agree with PPs if you can't keep food down that going to the ER might be worth it just to a make sure that you get something.

You might find that syncing your breathing to this might help:

Image: https://digitalambler.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/8d06cda5f63ac5e3b8e004587547fb72.gif?w=300&h=276

I know this is a super hard time for you, but you will get through it. Keep us posted.

cjt121413 · August 2016

ChrissyluvsPuppies said:

Thanks you all. I called my OB- they want me to go to the ER- I can't afford another ER trip. I was in the ER early last month for the pneumonia. I also have a daughter and I can't be away from her when my husband is out of town and we don't know anyone who could watch her for an extended period of time.

I tried calling my Primary Care, but they can't fit me in until Friday. Urgent care won't accept me.

Thanks for your help- I will look into a therapist, I just feel like it's going to take a while to get the care I need.

I know how expensive the ER is, and it's terrible. But they take payment plans, and if you can't keep food down, want to hurt yourself, or feel like you can't physically calm down, it's worth it to go and get taken care of. I know waiting at a hospital with a child is not fun, but if your daughter needs to go with you that's fine too. In the meantime, I hope you took the Friday appointment with your PCP.

Thinking of you....

kattyc-2 · August 2016

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. PP have all shared great advice. Only think I have to add is if you can't physically get to a therapist yet you may want to try googling therapist app. I believe there are services that will match you with a therapist, and the two of you text back and forth as needed. Please take some comfort in knowing we are thinking of you and care about you and your little ones' safety.

Austenista · August 2016

Here's a link to a hotline (last number) where you can get an immediate referral in your area.
https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/

This blog masterpost has a ton of helpful links. Some things you can do on your own if you need them and some information on how to help yourself.
https://clinicallydepressedpug.tumblr.com/post/75639033334/mental-health-help-masterpost

Christinaruth74 · August 2016

Thinking of you. PPs have already given some great advice.
I know you mentioned not having anyone local, but do you have friends/family long distance you could call? Also, have you communicated the severity of what you're feeling to your husband?
I think it's great and brave that you've reached out here as well as to your local providers, but perhaps talking with some close and trusted people in your life could help alleviate some of these emotional burdens.
Hugs❤️

LinziLoo09 · August 2016

If your PCP can't see you until Friday, is there a Doc-in-the-Box or urgent care center nearby where you could walk in? They don't have ER co-payments, but they may be able to provide medication to help you in the short run - particularly if they know you're just struggling to make it until Friday. My only concern would be to emphasize the need for pregnancy-safe medications. That said, during my last pregnancy when I was in the hospital, the OB-ER gave me (I can't remember which) either alprazolam or clonazepam for an anxiety attack I was having.

caffeinenut · August 2016

@ChrissyluvsPuppies I am so sorry for what you are going through. Everyone here has left good advice. My advice is to let your husband know exactly how you are feeling. Maybe, with an emergency, he can come home early? Also, with not being able to eat or sleep, and vomiting, I would suggest going to the ER. I know it is expensive, but you may be dehydrated now, and need IVs to help you. Any bloodwork will be back in hours, instead of days, so if you need medication you can get it sooner. Plus, they will have therapists on call to help you that day. And I'm sure the hospital will let you keep your daughter with you if you have no one to watch her.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

beff12 · August 2016

Everyone has already given great advice, I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Hugs lady.

dmontgo · August 2016

Sending positive and healing vibes your way.

slartybartfast · August 2016

Great advice here just want to say I feel for you and hang in there. Yes the ER is expensive but you and your baby need care and are worth it - though, like @LinziLoo09 said, an urgent care may be another option.

Mamax2 · August 2016

Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way. You've already gotten some great advice.

Amecsey · August 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss and everything else that is going on, and it has to be hard to have DH out of town! I agree you have gotten some good advice from people already, and I also agree about going to the ER and paying on a payment plan. The amazing child that is growing inside of you needs nutrients that it sounds like it may not be getting right now. I hope everything slows down and you get a chance to rest, get healthy, and process everything!

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