Still not sleeping through the night...

Sketner610 · August 2016

My son is 10.5 months and does great with his two naps a day. We stick to a strict schedule and have a bedtime routine that we do every night before bed (starting at 7pm). At 7:30, I nurse him until he is alseep (same as I do at nap times) and he will go down and sleep till around midnight. At that point he wakes up (fully awake and sitting and crying) and needs to be changed, then rocked back to sleep. Then he wakes up two hours later, and needs to be changed and rocked again. Usually with the second time waking up (and all other wake ups after that), he likes to nurse. This constant waking goes on all night, every two hours. Then he wakes up between 6-7am ready to play. So I don't know if I necessarily need to sleep train or do cry it out, since he has no issue going to sleep. It's just staying asleep. Any idea how to over come this issue? I can deal with it if I have to, and I have for the last almost 11 months, but how long is his considered normal? He's getting older and I hear about all these babies sleeping through the night and I'm just so jealous. Ugh

jennahkross · August 2016

So my pediatrician said it was important that my LOL start sleeping through the night before she turns one, or it will get even harder to change the behavior. My LO was getting up once or twice a night and I was changing her and feeding her. I started slowly reducing the amount she ate at each feeding, and unless she was poopy, not changing her diaper. Eventually she stopped one wake up and the the second one went away too. I found by not changing her she didn't wake up fully and it was easier to get her back to sleep. It took about 4, somewhat rough nights, but now she sleeps through the night (most nights!). I can't imagine how tired you must feel at this point! I have been there and it is not fun, but it will happen!

yellow1daisy · August 2016

Is he a back sleeper or a stomach sleeper?

My daughter was sleeping like this when she was sleeping on her back. I didn't find it bothersome since she went back to sleep easily. But when she started sleeping on her stomach (which I never thought she would because she wouldn't move an inch when put down in her crib and now she's all over the place), she started sleeping MUCH better.

ElleMF728 · August 2016

You think he doesn't need help falling asleep but he probably does. He needs you to put him to sleep now at bedtime so he also needs to you put him to sleep when he wakes up MOTN as well. Extra wakes are usually caused by a sleep association. If you are nursing right before bed this is probably the cause. Separate his last meal and bedtime by 20-30 minutes and these wakes will probably sleep. He may be upset since he probably doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own but not going into the crib awake (not drowsy) at this age is usually the culprit in persistent night waking. This link helps explain the importance:

https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-2/

This podcast is also an amazing listen if you want to hear more. The relevant part starts at 23 minutes so you can probably jump forward to that point.

https://https//www.preciouslittlesleep.com/diagnose-your-childs-sleep-ep-6/

ETA: When I started putting DS2 in his crib awake at bedtime and letting him fall asleep independently in his crib his nights drastically improved. We went from bed at 8, wakes at 11:30, 2,4:30 and up at 7 to either not waking at all or waking after 10 hours for a quick snack and back to sleep until 7 or 8 am.

kmcshane0211 · August 2016

I could have written your post a week ago. Then, I began night weaning. I started increasing the amount of time between feeds at night and having DH settle my daughter back to sleep instead of me. So, for a few days if she woke before midnight (for example) he would settle her and then anytime after midnight it was me. The next few nights it was 1 AM.

Yes, she cried...a lot for the first couple nights. Not as "gentle" as I would have liked, but gentle wasn't working for me. He just rocked her/sang to her, gave her a paci until she was asleep.

Not kidding...after four night of this she slept a 6 hour stretch, the next night 7 hours. We are gradually seeing a new consistent pattern being set just by her body getting used to not eating at those hours and sleeping that time instead. It's almost like her body is regulating to new habits.

Maybe try this?

booksandcleverness81 · August 2016

Night weaning is a good start, though I haven't been able to finish doing it because we were on vacation and now LO is sick, but I'm soooo ready because this is exactly what mine does. I also started with getting him to sleep awake at the beginning of the night by feeding him before reading and sleepy cuddles. Then I sing him the same 3 songs as I hold him and put him in the crib with an "I love you, lay down and go to sleep now love." He adapted pretty quickly, only when he wakes at night he still wants to feed to sleep and still wakes every 2-3 hours. Cutting night feeds are a little worse because they still feel hungry out of habit for a few nights so they may not be too happy about it. But there are a lot of ways to do it. Maybe just getting that first bedtime down will make him sleep much better and it will happen naturally, you never know. Good luck, I hope to follow suit really soon !

jwebbbber45678 · August 2016

I'm in the same situation. The baby is addicted to night boob. I think we're going to have to try the Ferber again, because it's a sleep association and when they can't soothe themselves to sleep, they wake between cycles and look for the nursing, rocking, or whatever it is. It's been ten months since I've slept longer than three hours in a row, it's decidedly time to try sleep training for the second time over here. We're just waiting until we move next week. Good luck with yours, I hope we can all sleep again soon!

ems028 · August 2016

I don't change my LO when she wakes up..or else it takes her a long time to get back to sleep.

chaser61 · August 2016

No advice here but we still wake quite a bit so maybe it is helpful to know you are not alone. For the first time this week, LO slept 6 hours straight. Usually he wakes every two hours. He has started giving me more 3 hour stretches this past month. I am just going to ride it out, and I do have faith that he will get longer stretches eventually.

ABombard12 · August 2016

Im still in this boat too! Every once in a while he gives a glimpse of hope and then takes it right back

I work full time so really the night time is when I get to cuddle with him the most so on good days I'm happy to cuddle...on bad REALLY sleepy days I wish he would sleep through the night ha

chaser61 · August 2016

ABombard12 said:

Im still in this boat too! Every once in a while he gives a glimpse of hope and then takes it right back I work full time so really the night time is when I get to cuddle with him the most so on good days I'm happy to cuddle...on bad REALLY sleepy days I wish he would sleep through the night ha

My feelings exactly. I work full time too and cuddles at night make me feel better about the situation. It works for us most days. But there are some days I just don't feel good and didn't want to be woken up from that deep sleep! It has been helpful to meet women in the same boat and this type of sleep is our "normal."

Sketner610 · August 2016

Thanks for all the replies! I've decided to attempt night weaning, in hopes that this will help get him out of the habit of waking and wanting to eat. Also hopefully this will lessen his went diapers during the night. When he does wake up they are super full (I'm already using night diapers) so I feel like I have to change him or risk them leaking. Last night was night three of night weaning and it is going surprisingly well. The first two nights we cut out the first feeding (around midnight) and then then last night, he slept from 8-2:30 which was shocking, so we worked on cutting out the second feeding. I hope we continue to improve here. I realize at some point I'll need to start putting him to sleep awake, but like a lot of you, I enjoy my cuddles before bed time and nap time (and I'm just not sure this is related to his sttn issues).

jen83mn · August 2016

Sketner610 said:

Thanks for all the replies! I've decided to attempt night weaning, in hopes that this will help get him out of the habit of waking and wanting to eat. Also hopefully this will lessen his went diapers during the night. When he does wake up they are super full (I'm already using night diapers) so I feel like I have to change him or risk them leaking. Last night was night three of night weaning and it is going surprisingly well. The first two nights we cut out the first feeding (around midnight) and then then last night, he slept from 8-2:30 which was shocking, so we worked on cutting out the second feeding. I hope we continue to improve here. I realize at some point I'll need to start putting him to sleep awake, but like a lot of you, I enjoy my cuddles before bed time and nap time (and I'm just not sure this is related to his sttn issues).

We dealt with a similar situation with our LO but a bit spread out. The first issue was I was soothing him back to sleep at every wake-up by nursing. Once I stopped that (and rocked him instead), he stopped waking up as much and expecting to nurse. We rocked to sleep until 10.5 months, laying him down in his crib asleep. If he woke up, we rocked him back to sleep. He's a pretty good sleeper, so some nights he would sleep through the night, other times he wouldn't.

At 10.5 months, when we rocked him to sleep and laid him down, he would wake up immediately and start crying. A few nights of this, with multiple times trying to put him to bed asleep only to have him wake up, we realized we were finally going to have to do the drowsy but awake thing.

We just started cold turkey incorporating it into naps and bedtime all at once so he wouldn't be confused and had childcare (our moms) do the same. The first time he cried for a bit, but was asleep in 7 minutes. I was shocked! The next few times he would cry, but calmed himself down within 5-15 minutes max and fell asleep. We turn on his white noise machine, light/sound projector, and give him a few lovies in his crib. The times that he did cry for longer than 15 minutes or really hard, we would go in to comfort him, give him a hug, restart his music, and lay him back down. The first few days was the toughest, but after less than a week, he was falling asleep within a few minutes on his own with no tears. (And we didn't have to rock him for 45 minutes only to have him wake up the second we put him in his crib!).

There are times that I do miss those cuddles, but I make up for it by hugging and swaying with him for a few minutes before putting him in his crib drowsy but awake. Since doing this, he's been sleeping 10.5-12 hours straight at night, and if he does wake up in the middle of the night, he soothes himself back to sleep. Learning to self-soothe (especially when waking up in the middle of the night) is important!

One book I read talked about how if you lay an older baby down while asleep (after object permanence has set in), they'll wake up remembering where they were when they fall asleep (in your arms) and freak out because they're now somewhere else (in their crib). Similar to if you fell asleep in your bed and when you woke up you were on a mattress on the front lawn - I would freak! So while the rocking to sleep isn't an issue in itself, it can contribute to night wakings if the baby wakes up in a place different than where they fell asleep.

Cutting out nursing at night is a great first step! Then depending on how that goes, moving to drowsy but awake if needed could help!

shelbydd · August 2016

We just completely cut out motn feedings about a week ago. I spent almost 2 months taking what was normally two 8oz feedings down to nothing. We started with just one down to 6 ounces and cut it down a little bit every week until we cut one out completely. Dropping the last one was a bit more difficult and we were stuck at a single 2 ounce feeding for a couple of weeks but about a week ago I put some water in a sippy cup and that's what he got. He was not happy about it at first but is fine with it now. He slept through the night one night and I think he would be every night if we weren't fending off the WORST diaper rash ever. It's getting better though so he's sleeping better. Anyway, my point is that weaning off night feeds seem to have done the trick for us as we went from waking every 2 hours to maybe once around 2am for a diaper change. He now sleeps from 8pm to 8am almost every night with just the one waking.

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