TTCAL Check-In: Week of August 1

BornReady · August 2016

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new):

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.):

3. Rants/raves:

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.

BornReady · August 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): Prepping for FET August 11th.

3. Rants/raves: Not much! I've had a few great days. Last night we went to this local beach for a picnic and hanging out around sunset. It was so nice. Summer can be so short up in the North East, so we always try and stay outside as long as possible to soak it all up while we have it.

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.

My friends and I were all pretty retro...We loved Journey's "Don't Stop Believing'" and Bruce Springsteen's "Thunder Road". For some reason the opening beats to Dr. Dre's "The Next Episode" also stand out. Ahh memories!

Amdogger82 · August 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): TWW 3 DPO.

3. Rants/raves: Not much here either. We had a really nice weekend with my sister and her family visiting, and I have friends coming next weekend, so even if work is super stressful, at least is in sandwiched between a couple nice weekends! I'm also in the northeast @BornReady, and I completely understand needing to soak up all the warmth and sunshine possible. We've been trying to maximize our hikes, kayaking ans beach time!

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.
So, I think it was called "Ride with Me" by Nelly--this song was so huge my freshman year of college. It takes me back every time I hear it. And when I was teaching in Poland a few years later we celebrated every Friday night with a Justin Timberlake and a dance party in the kitchen while eating pizza and drinking vodka in apple juice.

beary67 · August 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): Benched 1 cycle after D&C on July 20th.

3. Rants/raves: I was pretty emotional last week, but feeling better this week so far. I have my 2-week follow-up post D&C on Wednesday morning. For anyone that has had a D&C, at your follow-up, did you have an ultrasound? I'm thinking the RE will do an ultrasound to make sure everything looks ok following the D&C, but I'm not sure. I'm hoping an ultrasound will also tell me if I have any follicles developing so I can know if I might ovulate soon to better tell how long this cycle will last.

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc Don't Stop Believing was a huge one. From my freshman year of college, Remix to Ignition by R Kelly was huge, so that's another one.

@BornReady I totally remember listening to Dr. Dre in high school driving around with friends. That album is totally bringing back so many memories now!

dpjennifer · August 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): CD 32. FF says I'm 8 DPO. No idea if that's true or not due to my half-assed temping and wonky chart post-MC this month. But it's been nice not to be obsessive this month!

3. Rants/raves: I went this weekend with a friend to see Star Wars: Into Darkness played on a big screen with a live orchestra playing the score. It was pretty awesome.

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc. Oh goodness... there are so many examples of this, since there are tons of songs that just take me back to high school and hanging out and summers. I think music is just like that. Certain songs stick to you for certain parts of your life.

@beary67 For my 2 week follow-up after my D&C I did not have an ultrasound.

beary67 · August 2016

@dpjennifer thank you! What happened during that appointment?

Amdogger82 · August 2016

@beary67 I didn't have a US either. The dr basically just checked in with me to see how I was doing and said that everything went fine. No exam what so ever (although the med assistant thought there was going to be a pelvic exam, so I had to sit through the whole conversation with my Dr. with no pants on...)

dpjennifer · August 2016

@beary67 well, my D&C was for a suspected molar pregnancy. So from what I remember she basically re-confirmed that it was not molar. I think she looked up there (like would be done for annual pap smear appointment) and said it looked like it was healing well. Said that since it was a standard missed miscarriage she talked to me about when we could start trying again and everything. It was pretty much just a follow-up to make sure things were healing, that I didn't have any concerns or fevers or anything that would point to infection, and to give me information about going forward.

beary67 · August 2016

@Amdogger82 thanks for your response! And I'm sorry your appointment was a little awkward!

ETA:
@dpjennifer that makes sense. Thanks for getting back to me with your experience!

SnobunnieMel · August 2016

@beary67 I didn't have any type of exam at my follow up. Just went over pathology and had a beta drawn. I wasn't having any prolonged spotting (I had none actually) so I was cleared to try then.

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): not new but have taken time away. MMC at 9 weeks on leap day follow by a CO first cycle trying and another CP two months later. Lots of things on testing. I'm a train wreck.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): benched.

3. Rants/raves: so bored waiting for the last set of results. Hopefully back by the end of the week but I already O'd this month so then waiting for AF. DH keeps asking me my temp every morning like it matters. *insert exasperated sigh*

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.

my throw back is 2003 Britney. I had a Jeep Wrangler and we would drive around with the top down belting those songs and trying to pick up guys like we were hot shit. We still continue to jam out to those 13 years later.

Aera11 · August 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): WTO...CD14. Had an ultrasound this morning and the largest follicle was 12 so I go back wednesday morning for another ultrasound to see if that one grew and if I will get an HCG. The nurse said she is thinking this is an anovulatory cycle and I'll be moving onto shots next cycle. I am partly relieved just because all the timed BD is getting old.

3. Rants/raves: Well, I've had better days. Yesterday was my second EDD and I was actually okay yesterday. I think it hit me this morning since my appointment didn't go 'great', it just sends me back down the negative/depressed path. I am trying to wrap my brain around the fact that maybe it won't happen for us and I am still going to need to function... that probably sounds extreme but days like today make me feel like I need to prepare for the worst.

I am currently looking for flights to Hawaii and eating my second bagel...

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.

In high school it was a lot of Backstreet Boys, Blink 182, and then in college, Usher, Britney, Black Eyed Peas all for pre-gaming before the bar and getting ready to go out.

SouthernMommaCL · August 2016

1) Introduce yourself: Hi! I'm 34, DH is 33. We have been TTC for 6 mths before I found out I was pregnant. We were so excited. But at 5 wks 3 days, I had a natural miscarriage. It's been really rough on me.

2) WTO...I was surprised that I wanted to start trying again. But I am hopeful.

3) Rants/raves: Just raves. We had a wonderful weekend that started with a great concert and ended with some family time and lots of laughing. I have a sister date this week and a lunch date with my best friend so it should be a good week.

4) Party/fun songs?: I was huge into boy bands. Loved NSync and Backstreet Boys. So I would crank up Everybody and Tear in Up My Heart. Yep...completely cheese fest!

SnobunnieMel · August 2016

@SouthernMommaCL I am a HUGE fan of them too. My go to station while running lately is the Pandora " boy bands radio". It's so upbeat. Also cheesy. Beyond cheesy but you can't stay in a bad mood listening to it. Highly recommend.

NewMommyCoop · August 2016

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): I guess I don't fall into the new category anymore?

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): TWW - 8dpo

3. Rants/raves: We got a lot done in the kitchen and dining room this weekend and finished my SD bedroom. Finally started to feel a little more settled in our new home.

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.
Lots of 80's music. I love Journey, Billy Joel, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Guns N' Roses, , Cyndi Lauper, Tom Petty; the list goes on and on.

AliciaGoose · August 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): TWW - 28/4

3. Rants/raves: I'm ok. I was a Debbie downer this morning on the TWW check in so I'll try not to be here! At least not as much. Emotionally I've been doing pretty well lately, but tonight I had a big long ugly cry after I got out of the shower. A sad song came on pandora and I was already feeling a little emotional and the tears just started falling. It was cathartic though. I think I needed it. It has been over a week since the last time I got really emotional about my loss, and that time was initiated by my DH, not me. I feel comfortable where I am in the healing process, so that's a positive I guess!

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.
I have several from different times in my life and different people! Follow me by Uncle Kracker, Rock and Roll All Night by Kiss, My Own Worst Enemy by Lit, Miss You by Blink 182. I could keep going! Most of these are songs I had with a friend for different moments in my life like playing rockband while we were drunk or singing karaoke.

ladipale · August 2016

@BornReady - sounds like a great weekend. GL waiting for August 11!

@beary67 - I did have an u/s at follow up.. to make sure everything was gone (but I had to have 2 D&Cs after the first one 'failed'.... ugh, long story!) Then after my 2nd D&C I had an episode of very heavy bleeding so OB really wanted to make sure things were clear, but the appt was also a lot of re-hashing what happened, what to do moving forward, checking on me emotionally, etc. (I ended up giving my OB a gift at this appt, we both cried - it was a long and exhausting few months we had together)

@Aera11 - :: hugs :: sorry you are having a few bad days. Its ok to have days where you feel overwhelmed and sad and depressed - let yourself feel it and move on when you are ready. and we are supposed to go to Hawaii next month... keep reading for explanation of why it may not happen.

@AliciaGoose - sorry for the sadness. I hate how it can creep up on me out of no where...

1 - Hello! I'm Laura, have 2 kids age 5 and 2 and had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks at end of Feb. Took 2 D&Cs to take care of.

2 - I'm off the bench!! Hooray! I've been traveling a TON this summer so we wanted to wait until I was done traveling before trying again because I do NOT do well out of town while pregnant. I'm on my last work trip right now and on CD3... so we will see what happens this cycle.

3 - 2016 has been a total shit show for me and my family and I'm finding it really, really hard to stay positive. Miscarriage, then my grandpa died and my father in law was just diagnosed with cancer a couple weeks ago and starts treatment next week... if that is not enough he is business partners with my husband so its a double whammy - sick family member and my DH has to carry the weight of the business.... Going to be a tough few months for us. We should probably wait to TTC but I'm not going to suggest that to my husband. I'm almost useless from week 8 - 16 of pregnancy. As I alluded to above, we have a trip to Hawaii scheduled with our girls in the beginning of Sept but because of my father in laws illness, we may need to cancel. I totally understand why but I'm having a hard time because it coincides with my due date and I was looking forward to the positive distraction. Also, its one month to my due date today

4 - My friends and I were really into country music - lots of Tim McGraw and Garth Brooks.

BornReady · August 2016

@ladipale I'm so sorry to hear how much you have going on, how overwhelming. Sounds like you are due for something positive your way. Where in Hawaii were you planning on? We might tag along for a business trip my DH has in Oahu in October.

lilylover27 · August 2016

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new):
Not new but have been MIA for the past couple of days due to a wedding over the weekend so will do a quick recap. First pregnancy, missed MC at 8 weeks, discovered at 12 week appointment, Cytotec to induce MC, TTCAL as of June.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): WTO, CD 1 here, at least it stood away for the wedding!

3. Rants/raves: Kind of relived to be at CD 1 as our timing last cycle was horrible! Going to start this cycle off with a fresh start! Just got back from Florida and am happy to report that neither myself or DH had any mosquito bites so that put my Zika fears to rest! The wedding was fun but so happy to be back in my own house with my fur babies, not happy to be at work today though bleh.

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.
So funny this is the GTKY because we totally requested so many old songs from our younger years at the wedding this weekend! Let's see there was Spice Girls "Spice up you life" and N'Sync "Bye Bye Bye" and Britney Spears "Hit Me Baby One More Time" just to name a few!

fivetimesnoluck · August 2016

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): For those who are new, my brief summary is TTC #1 after five losses. Currently facing IF issues after never previously having trouble with conception. Fun times.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): TWW, 10 dpIUI. Beta is Thursday. Will POAS at home before that test, so DH and I know together. No real SS, because I am on progesterone and it mirrors my pregnancy symptoms, so I am trying not to go crazy over it. Like I said on the other check in, either I am or I am not. Those are the only two options.

3. Rants/raves: Took yesterday off to putz around the house after DH and painted and rearranged our living room on a whim Sunday. Had lunch with a friend, went to acupuncture, bought a bunch of stuff at TJ Maxx and then DH and I took dinner over and visited dear friends and their week-old daughter. (They had multiple losses like us, so we are sooo happy for them!) It was a good day!

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc. My GFs and I loved to rock out to I Will Survive, not sure how it started, but it was a crowd favorite. I wasn't much into the Boy Bands (though JT as a grown man is a-mazing!) or Britney, but recall lots of Outkast, No Doubt, Smashing Pumpkins, and all the typical classic rock stuff. Fun question!

lilylover27 · August 2016

@BornReady I feel like no matter what age everyone loves some Journey!!
@snobunniemel I hope you get you results soon so you can start moving forward!

nmd9168 · August 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): AF surprised me on Saturday with blazing fury. LOL sorry TMI

3. Rants/raves:Nothing really that has to do with TTC, but a cousin in law has invited me to her bridal shower but requested only gift cards from Home Depot or Lowes. There was a brightly colored note in the invite that said "NO GIFTS!!! Gift cards only from Home Depot or Lowes" Idk. I guess I felt like it was really rude/tacky. I'm a little surprised that she didn't specify a minimum gift card amount. When I got married, I didn't need anything so I didn't have a shower. It's going to be a very boring shower... I hope she doesn't open each individual card and say like "Oh Aunt Jane $50 Thank you! Natalie $40....Oh Thanks... Aunt Joyce $100 OMG Yours is the best!"

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.
I really never went out much when I was younger, and really still don't. (If you mean going to partys or bars. I wasn't really into partying. My idea of a night out was going to a concert) When my friends and I were together in high school, the song really depended on who I was hanging out with and also what year. I guess what sticks out to me is "Pool Party" by the Aquabats or "All my Best Friends are Metal-heads" by Less Than Jake or Motion City Soundtrack "The Future Freaks Me Out". When I was in college, I listened to a lot of The Format, Arcade Fire, Fleet Foxes, and Minus the Bear.

nmd9168 · August 2016

@lilylover27 Isn't is nice to be in your own house and your own bed again? I like going on trips, but I always sleep so much better that first night back home.

brooklyngirl18 · August 2016

@BornReady picnic on the beach sounds awesome!
@Amdogger82 i'm lol picturing a dance party with JT and vodka with apple juice. sounds like a blast.
@beary67 omg yes to remix to ignition, that was huge when i was in college.
@SnobunnieMel i hope you get the rest of the results soon and can come up with a new plan. also, i love me some britney! we saw her in Vegas last year and my inner 18 year old self came pouring out.
@AliciaGoose my own worst enemy is one of my favorite songs ever, i always listen to it when working out. it puts me in such a good mood, i just put it on right now

@ladipale i'm sorry you've had such a rough year, i hope you can still go to hawaii and things settle down soon.
@lilylover27 i'm glad you had a good time at the wedding and so happy to hear you and dh are mosquito bite free!
@fivetimesnoluck i have everything crossed for you this month!

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): not new but recap- ttc#2 ectopic in february at 8 weeks. ttcal since May 2016.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): i think TWW, hoping 2DPO as opposed to 7dpo because 7dpo would have a zero chance of being ku.

3. Rants/raves: my rant is at myself. i wish i started opk earlier in the month and my rant is stupid hand foot and mouth disease that sidelined dh for 2 weeks and possibly ruined our chances this month. sigh. not feeling optimistic at all this month.

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc. what a fun question, i'm thoroughly enjoying all the responses and saying 'omg yes!' a lot. I remember rocking out to 'for my people' by little kim a lot, r kelly, usher, boy bands, britney, a little of everything.

chloe97 · August 2016

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): Benched for one last cycle hopefully!

3. Rants/raves: We had a great 4 days at my ILs lake house, but it was far too short. We didn't BD since we were worried others could hear us and now I have an HSG and will have to hold off on sex another 2-3 days. My FW starts this weekend and I told DH that no matter what I say we should not risk it this month. So condoms it must be until after I ovulate. Hoping that we get the green light to try again naturally from the RE next week after all the tests are back!

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc.

Oh so many good ones!! Living on a Prayer was always good for a bar sing along. My BFF and I had this weird dance we did to Maneater by Nelly Furtado. Crazy in Love by Beyoncé always brings me back to my early 20s along with with Yeah by Usher.

KarenBeth714 · August 2016

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): Karen from nyc

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): tww, but didn't really try this month bc we are beginning testing for ivf process. A couple bd's here and there but I wasn't tracking or charting, so technically tww.

3. Rants/raves: Went to see my cousin and new baby yesterday. This was huuuuge for me. I've been avoiding, but open with her about why. She's been understanding and supportive. We were pregnant at the same time. I made sure it was just her and me. I walked in the door and could not hold in my tears. Eventually I got it out and we had a nice visit.

4. GTKY: What are your nostalgic party/fun songs from your life? ie. What did you listen to getting ready to go out? What songs did you sing along to with friends? etc. Thinking back to late 90's early 2000s hip hop like outkast & tlc.

Fun times, but the music I really listen to is hippie music and enjoy going out to concerts as much as possible. Although vivid memories of singing bohemian rhapsody every time it came on comes to my mind!

SoonToBeMommaHowe · August 2016

Hi everyone! I've taken a couple days off TB to try to get my head back on straight.

2. WTO, CD 12. Didn't O last month until CD33 so I have quite a while

~TW loss mentioned~
3. Rants: So last week I was bitching about my SIL who got KU'd by her married bf and then today we got the call that she lost the pregnancy at 10.5 weeks. I feel terrible and evil bc when they told us I was far from happy and told my DH they didn't deserve a baby. I'm the worst.
Rant continued: I think I got a yeast infection (TMI, sorry) and now we need to take like a week long break until I get rid of it. I guess the silver lining to Oing so late is that it will be all cleared up by FW

4. I'm a country music girl so there's something about Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks that just brings me back.

rainbowturtles · August 2016

@ladipale the DD for my first loss from 10yrs ago was also Sep 1...so sorry for your losses and all you are struggling with currently

Sorry for not being around as much or responding as much as I'd like! I've posted over on TTGP but it's been hard to keep up on both because I had a rare treat of having DH all to myself for SIX days!!! Was so good!

2. WTO, CD13

3. Just hoping that I either O soon or that it holds off until a little after DH gets back Thursday night or Friday! I'm so proud of our BD schedule this cycle that I'd hate to waste it by missing my O due to geography, if that makes sense lol

I'd also like to say that this is feeling more real which is awesome and scary at once and there's so much that makes me soppy lately, like seeing dads interact with their babies and children on tv/movies etc stuff like that and wanting to believe that this will happen for me but of course also being scared and having to stop myself from wondering if something is physically wrong a LOT. Trying to be patient for O and believing it will happen but worrying maybe there's a problem and trying not to worry like that. So many thoughts and feelings all the time!

4. GTKY: Aside from the fun 90s rap music I'd have to say Alanis and Shania Twain lol

rainbowturtles · August 2016

Also, @SoonToBeMommaHowe IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE NOT EVIL. YOU ARE NOT THE WORST.
Repeat.

dpjennifer · August 2016

@SoonToBeMommaHowe

Sorry! I know the feeling. I've felt bitter about a few people's pregnancies who hadn't been trying very long, and their path seemed so easy, and were just so unicorns and rainbows that I couldn't stand it, and a few of them lost theirs as well. I felt like utter shit about the whole thing.

Just remember that it's not YOUR fault and that you're in a unique place to be able to reach out to them if you want.

SoonToBeMommaHowe · August 2016

@rainbowturtles and @dpjennifer I just really can't believe how bitter and mean TTCAL/IF has made me. Before my MC, even when it was taking us a while to get a BFP, I would never have had a negative thought about someone announcing a pregnancy. And now for me to say they didn't deserve it...who am I?

This is is such a long, crappy road. After nearly three years I feel so numb to everything that I just expect BFNs at this point. I feel like hope is a thing of the past and I hate feeling like that. Stupid IF

fivetimesnoluck · August 2016

@SoonToBeMommaHowe Forgive yourself for the bad thoughts. We have all had them. IF/Loss changes us. Much of it is for the better - you know how strong you are, you have great perspective on the shit that really matters, (hopefully) it strengthens your relationship. But sometimes, we just need to bitch, whine and moan. And in my case, it is almost always about those who have babies and me who does not. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Not sure the relationship you have with your SIL, but like a pp said, if you want to, you have the chance to use your experience for good and offer her some comfort. But, you certainly don't have to if y'all aren't that close.

Much love to you. Be gentle on yourself. xo

Aera11 · August 2016

@SoonToBeMommaHowe some days, I am right there with you. I have come to realize it is ok to feel the way I feel because usually, I know I am not really unhappy for other people having babies. They are just who I take my loss and infertility frustrations out on. Some days are better than others and we have to let ourselves feel what we need to feel in order to get through the day.

I went back for a second ultrasound this morning and the largest follicle was 15 so I am either O'ing late or out for the cycle. The nurse said I could O Friday/Saturday but there is the issue of egg quality. She said it is up to DH and I to decide if we still want 'to try' this cycle, knowing that the odds aren't in our favor IF we do get pregnant. I feel like the logical answer is to not try/BD until AF comes again. Sigh...

On a side note, I just found out a woman I know through old co-workers is 7 weeks pregnant with twins and doesn't want them. I literally want to punch her in the boob... what is wrong with people?!?

*edited because I am so cranky I can't type right

KarenBeth714 · August 2016

Good luck @Aera11 and sorry about your coworker. I would be pissed for days and avoid her at all costs.

Having a rough day. I put a thread up on the Misscarriage/ Loss board if anyone wants to way in on my intense family issues problem started after my loss with my bro and sil announcing their pregnancy just a few weeks after. My intense feelings of anger just won't go away and my mom is making me feel guilty and pressuring me to see them. If anyone wants to give advice, please see full story on the thread. We are normally a very close family, but I just can't shake these feelings.

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