Mixed emotions

jenrn1216 · July 2016

Hi there, just a quick background.....H & I have been TTC for 3 years, recently saw RE for first time last month, now possibly talking about clomid. This has been something I have wanted for so long. I think I've just been so used to it never happening that now that it's actually a possibility, it scares the hell out of me! I never, ever thought I would feel like this! What is going on?? Anyone else feel this way? It's like here it is, right in front of me, and I don't even know if I'm ready for it.......it's just a very confusing feeling and I don't know if this is normal!

KirstenCas · July 2016

I feel like that too. I'm on my 3rd IVF cycle and I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing, if I'll be good at it. I think about how much it will change my life and will it be for the better, etc. I think those thoughts are normal. Actively trying puts us all in a slightly different situation where you are now constantly forced to think about it. I think that's what makes it scary, it's a choice now and we know we are all capable of making incorrect choices. Just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one scared

jenrn1216 · July 2016

Yes, you are spot on and I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! Thank you KirstenCas! And you will absolutely be good at it, this I'm sure of just from reading your kind words. Good luck to you

sasha29-2 · July 2016

When I went skydiving, I knew I wanted to when I was booking the reservation and driving to the field and filling out the paperwork. I was ready, I was physically and mentally and emotionally and financially prepared to do this. But that didn't make me any less scared when I stepped out the door of the plane into free fall. I think it's really similar to this. We all know why we're doing this and what we want, but going through these treatments and becoming a parent is of course scary and new. Of course you're still scared. There's a lot of emotion wrapped up in this, and whether you end up pregnant or not, the outcome will alter the path of your life. I'd be more surprised if you weren't scared at all.

You are definitely not alone.

KirstenCas · July 2016

what a great analogy @Sasha29

jenrn1216 · July 2016

@Sasha29 that was awesome, thank you!!!

LizzieJ13 · July 2016

One reason I am scared sometimes is that, it's one thing to try on our own and not have success, but it's another to pursue treatment and have THAT not work. If you haven't started treatment, it's still out there, and you can still think maybe (next treatment) will work! But to try something and potentially be unsuccessful is definitely scary. Does that makes sense?

mtpbadger · July 2016

@lizzyj13 That is totally what I was telling my DH the other day! We just had our first failed IVF (FET) cycle and I told him that even though I was upset when our IUI's weren't successful, IVF was still in our back pocket but now that we are having issues with my body responding properly to the meds for that, there really isn't a next step for getting pregnant myself and that is the scariest thing ever!

@sasha29 that is a fantastic analogy! Thank you for that!

jwg9101 · July 2016

I soooo needed to read this post today. I've been freaking out but couldn't put my finger on why exactly. This nailed it. This is IT. Like this is finally when things go from hazy image to clear and in my face. If this doesn't work then I'll know I wasn't meant to have someone I want so very badly. I'm absolutely terrified of being devastated each month (starting IUI this month). This process just terrifies me.

Hopeful_mom · August 2016

@LizzieJ13 i hear you!! KirstenCas i'm old too the 40...and how dare that be a reason

I guess i waited to long for my body to figure out what its suppose to do. I have low amh as well BUT my dr feels like it still should happen and its really due to my age. 40 is NOT the new 30 so whoever said that crap should stop! I always thought i would be a mom and to think that maybe it wont is still devastating to me every month...I did start TTC in my 30s yes 38 and apparently 37 was really the cut off....

katymarie101 · August 2016

Thank you to all of you I needed this. I'very been having these same thoughts a lot lately like if it was ment to be it wouldn't be this hard or take this long. I'm glad I'm not alone in my thoughts, I feel like if I keep talking about it with my DH he is going to think I'm nuts.

Mixed emotions

Re: Mixed emotions

Choose Another Board

Search Boards