Lots of great advice here! The only thing I never knew could happen during labor was getting sick. Shortly before I was having contractions every 5 min lasting 1 minute I was vomiting. And it continued throughout 80% of my 28 hr labor. I don't say this to scare anyone but to prepare. I could hardly keep anything down. My doula ended up giving me honey sticks to suck on.
Oh an another thing. This one will be super hard but trust your judgment. I thought I was doing so many things wrong because I didn't know anyone who did it, ppl don't talk about it or our ped was telling us how to do something. Talking cosleeping, vitamin d drops, BLW, nursing and more. Do what's best for you and your family (safely ofc :-) )
Has anyone doubted they could do natural birth but ended up doing it anyway? Deep down I really want to try natural birth but I already assume I won't be able to.
Through out all of my labor I felt and said "I CAN NOT DO THIS." I felt so weak. I had an amazing support system that talked to these things with me and reminded me I WAS doing it.
Best prep for this my doula gave me when I asked her how she gages a laboring mom saying I can't do this vs a mom that rly is done (bc I anticipated this as well)
She said it's when a mom asks for intervention or says she's done in between contractions. Mom's say the craziest things during a contraction but come back to reality between.
It's a brief breather and opportunity to say I can do this.
I CANNOT recommend a doula enough if med free is the route you want to take. I could not have done it wit out her.
One thing I'd like to add is to be prepared for the mystery between you and your husband to completely vanish! For real, they will see it all. The good, the bad, the horrific. It does make for an incredible bonding experience though.
Baha this totally reminded of the pic of the mom in her PP diaper that was posted on fb recently! So true, ZERO MYSTERY!
Has anyone doubted they could do natural birth but ended up doing it anyway? Deep down I really want to try natural birth but I already assume I won't be able to.
The key is your support system. I almost gave in and begged for an epi, and my SO said "This wasn't what you wanted for your plan, you can do it without, you're doing great we're almost there" he told me he knew I'd be upset if I didn't follow through with my plan and he was right, and I truly was thankful he was able to steer me back in the direction I was on. Had he not said those supportive words, I probably would have made the rash decision out of pure exhaustion and feeling like I just can't handle it.
Thank you so much for all of this advice! I am writing things down haha.
I do have a quick question - fetal heart monitors during labor - what is the deal? Is it on all the time or only periodically? Were you able to do wireless or were you hooked up to a machine? I foresee myself really wanting to be up and walking around/moving (goal of a natural birth). So just would love a little more insight
Mine had to be on all the time, I wasn't able to have much movement. I was pretty high risk at the end of my pregnancy, my blood pressure was through the roof and I had GD, babies heart rate dropped a few times, so a lot of monitoring throughout labour was necessary. (26 hours)
One of my favourite tips was that if I wasn't 100% confident with nursing, instead of rushing home, ask for an extra night or 2 stay where lactation consultants and nurses can help. Don't be afraid to ask for help, for anything, ask all the questions.
Also, don't know about anyone else but after DD1, the vajay looks different. I guess it's pretty normal for skin pigment to permanently darken in that area. I only realized about 2 years later...
@MixedBerries88 I was so terrified, I had to just avoid thinking about any of it. Any time I would start to think about birth etc, I would force myself to put any thoughts to the back of my mind and kept saying I'll deal with it when I have to, instead of over thinking.
@Scarlett830 they wouldn't allow you to stay at the hospital without the Epi? Was there a reason that the option was Epi + breaking or could you not have just stayed and broke your water and waited it out?
I had to wear the fetal monitor because the baby was premature. Sitting in the bed killed my hips pre-epidural and that monitor hurt to bad pushing on me. Thank God for it though because it saved my baby's life when he had rapid dcels.
I thought of something I wasn't prepared for that hasn't been mentioned yet. After my son was born I would get hot flashes when he cried. Hormones do crazy things! Also, PPA/PPD can pop up long after giving birth. Don't discount your feelings if you're 6 months out and starting to feel off emotionally. My son was actually a year and a half when my lingering post-baby anxiety ballooned into full on anxiety requiring medication.
For a few weeks after my son was born, I would wake up practically drenched and have to change my pajamas because of hot flashes/hormones being crazy. No one ever mentioned that happening!
For a few weeks after my son was born, I would wake up practically drenched and have to change my pajamas because of hot flashes/hormones being crazy. No one ever mentioned that happening!
Me too! For a few months! I would have hot flashes and night sweats but also wake up freezing. It was tough!
Id liked to share about my birth! My water broke about 5 pm the night before I ended up having my daughter. It was green, yes green! She had pooped on the inside. So we rush to the hospital, it was supposed to be put last date night because I was getting induced in two days. Turns out baby had other plans! We get settled in and something I did not know was that you will continue to leak until you give birth acter your water breaks, so I couldn't walk around. Had an epidural so I could sleep that night, well epidural only worked on half my body so they redid it and it worked just fine the second go around. I was in labor for almost 24 hours and pushed about 10 min. first baby too! I like to share that because everyone liked to tell me how long I would push and how bad I would hurt, well I didn't hurt, I didn't need ice packs or even pain meds (after birth)! I was scared to death to go into labor but it's not as scary as many will tell. The most amazing feeling of it all is holding that sweet babe on your arms!
I'm going to throw a warning out here because it is the one thing NOBODY told me about and I was not prepared for.
In the very beginning, breastfeeding causes horrendous uterine cramping. I just remember coming home from the hospital, nursing my newborn daughter and all of a sudden having the worst cramping I've ever felt. I thought I was going into labor again. Literally nobody told me about this.
I can't tell you how much this thread had helped! Like @MixedBerries88 and @RunBooRun my excitement seems to have warn off, and now I'm just left with morning sickness and feeling tired and fed up. It's hard, but great to know I'm not the only one.
And thanks ladies for all the advice and 'you can do this' attitude, I think that's what us FTMs need to hear. I think we need to add a thread like this to our regular updates, cos I know I'll be needing it!
@briunit I totally agree. I thought I was the only FTM who felt over this whole thing. First month was awesome and fun and yaay. then morning sickness and all those other things set in and you feel like "what the hell did i get myself into?"
Ok question: when those of you who have given birth say "I was in labor for X amount of hours" what does that constitute? Is it that you had contractions consistently 4 or less minutes apart? Surely you would never push for like 24 hours right? So when did you start your labor count?
Ok question: when those of you who have given birth say "I was in labor for X amount of hours" what does that constitute? Is it that you had contractions consistently 4 or less minutes apart? Surely you would never push for like 24 hours right? So when did you start your labor count?
I say I was in labor for 30 hours. I start from when I first started feeling contractions, at 3am. The real intense part of active labor didn't start until 4 pm when they broke my water. So basically the first half of my labor was relatively reasonable. DD arrived at 9:06 am. I was pushing for 3 and a half hours. That's close to the max, at least in my area. If you are pushing for 3-4 hours, chances are there will be talk of intervention. I had a vacuum assisted birth, because LO was big!
@briunit I feel the same way, and I'm PgAL to boot (frustrated + anxious + terrified = so freaking fun). I think that when we start getting a bump, it'll be exciting again because it's becoming real. And then the last month or so, we'll be over it once more and super uncomfortable and back to feeling tired and blah. From what I gather, pregnancy is a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions.
@MixedBerries88 and @RunBooRun I feel the exact same way you guys do. I still can't really believe this is happening, and sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not more excited.
@Schumerator I was in labor for over 24 hrs with both previous children. I count from when I got to the hospital in labor to when baby was born. I only pushed for about 5 mins with second, had to have c-section with first. So most of the time was waiting to dilate (I'm extremely slow at that)
I've always been of the give me all the drugs mindset, but since finding out I'm pregnant I've been throwing around the idea of going drug free. Did anyone regret NOT getting an epidural?
@Schumerator Good question!! Lots of moms say hours upon hours.... Because they start counting when they started having small interspersed contractions. But you can have small contractions that really aren't a big deal days before real labor kicks in. And be partially dialated for weeks before baby arrives.
I personally think labor hr count should be when "active labor" starts around 4-5 cm dialated with strong consistent contractions. When you're really "laboring" and it gets difficult. So for me I say labor was around 5hrs with 1/2 hr of pushing.
@Schumerator Good question!! Lots of moms say hours upon hours.... Because they start counting when they started having small interspersed contractions. But you can have small contractions that really aren't a big deal days before real labor kicks in. And be partially dialated for weeks before baby arrives.
I personally think labor hr count should be when "active labor" starts around 4-5 cm dialated with strong consistent contractions. When you're really "laboring" and it gets difficult. So for me I say labor was around 5hrs with 1/2 hr of pushing.
That sounds much less terrifying than 24+ hours! Thank you! But I do understand counting it from the time you are getting contractions too. I was just always curious lol
@Schumerator I count it from when I felt the first contraction because my labor happened all in one day - not even practice contractions or anything beforehand - so 18 hours.
@Schumerator I was in active labor (contractions every 4 minutes or less) for 43 hours. My baby was OP and my body needed a lot of time to move her. Since her head wasn't fully engaged, it took a lot longer to dialate. I pushed for an hour and a half.
Married DH 12/31/13 BFP#1 1/21/14 ended in loss DNC 3/5/14 BFP#2 7/2014 Baby Girl born 4/15/15 BFP#3 2/10/2016 natural mc 2/27/2016 BFP#4 6/25/2016 Due 3/2/2017
I also count from when I started timing contractions. I woke up at 6 am, hospital at 2:30pm and with 45 min of pushing, DS was born at 10:11 pm. I say 16 hours of labor.
I didn't get an epidural. I don't usually have a high pain tolerance at all, my mom was surprised I was going natural. I did use Hypnobabies and feel like it helped a lot and will be using it again this time.
I always say that from start to finish, it was about 12.5 hours total. My labor started by my water breaking at 5:45am and my son was born at 7:08pm. I pushed for about 30 minutes.
@briunit I feel the same way, and I'm PgAL to boot (frustrated + anxious + terrified = so freaking fun). I think that when we start getting a bump, it'll be exciting again because it's becoming real. And then the last month or so, we'll be over it once more and super uncomfortable and back to feeling tired and blah. From what I gather, pregnancy is a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions.
This is exactly how I felt first go round. It's up and down emotions.....you are over it and then get excited again and then just want LO here.
For me I started having contractions at around 3pm, got to hospital around 5pm and pushed for 15min and Kat was born at 1240am. I had super strong erratic contractions were some were every 30 Sec, there was no way I would have been able to do it without an epidural. I got the epidural within a half hour of being at the hospital.
Me: 35 Hubs: 27 Married: 07/04/13 BFP #1: 8/14/14, Baby Girl born 4/16/15 BFP #2: 6/21/16, Baby Girl born 2/11/17 BFP #3: 1/26/19, EDD 10/8/19 Fur Babies: 2 Cavalier King Charles Spaniels (Piper and Mia)
I will third the breastfeeding! It's stressful wondering if you are doing everything your baby needs. It's not like a bottle that you can literally see your child eating. However, don't let the lactation consultations freak you out! Over the 3 days total I was in the hospital with DD I had 4 different consultants come visit and each one told me something different. It made breastfeeding my biggest concern, so much so that I also asked every nurse that came in if I was doing it right. They have great tips but don't feel like you need to take notes when they speak, like I made DH
OMG those frakking lactation consultants! Those bitches practically accused me of not caring about my baby or I would be trying harder. That it was my fault I wasn't making my body produce milk. They had me in tears! And a few nurses didn't help by refusing to provide formula (I was in for a week after an emergency c-section and subsequent infection) even though I asked them. Finally one older night nurse brought me a couple of bottles and told me that my milk not coming in was not my fault.
****TW Signature****
DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
You should know that breastfeeding does not equal radical weight loss. As a matter of fact, often it is quite the opposite. Your body might go into survival mode and want to store ALL THE FATS to make nutritious milk. If you have a hard time dropping the baby weight just give it some time and try to embrace your new bod. When your LO starts eating solids around 6 months you will be able to see the weight go away faster:)
Married DH 12/31/13 BFP#1 1/21/14 ended in loss DNC 3/5/14 BFP#2 7/2014 Baby Girl born 4/15/15 BFP#3 2/10/2016 natural mc 2/27/2016 BFP#4 6/25/2016 Due 3/2/2017
Going off what @AverageAsh is talking about, don't crash diet or do insane workouts while breastfeeding. It will just cause your supply to tank. The weight will come off on it's own time and I always figured that breastfeeding was more important to me than my weight. You NEED to have an extra 500 calories a day and going below a total of 1800 effs things up!
Also, your hips spread when you give birth, and even if you drop back to pre-preggo weight quickly things will fit differently for awhile because of that. Don't get discouraged! You look better than you think you do, trust me.
I wonder why lactation consultants tend to be discouraging to new mothers breastfeeding? I don't want to sound like all of them are like this - like anything else, experiences and individual personalities vary - but it's been a common theme.
I wonder why lactation consultants tend to be discouraging to new mothers breastfeeding? I don't want to sound like all of them are like this - like anything else, experiences and individual personalities vary - but it's been a common theme.
I had fabulous LCs. I think it just might be that you don't hear about them as much.They are out there and they rock.
Married DH 12/31/13 BFP#1 1/21/14 ended in loss DNC 3/5/14 BFP#2 7/2014 Baby Girl born 4/15/15 BFP#3 2/10/2016 natural mc 2/27/2016 BFP#4 6/25/2016 Due 3/2/2017
Re: Get the Lowdown: Answers & Advice From STM+ to FTM
Best prep for this my doula gave me when I asked her how she gages a laboring mom saying I can't do this vs a mom that rly is done (bc I anticipated this as well)
She said it's when a mom asks for intervention or says she's done in between contractions. Mom's say the craziest things during a contraction but come back to reality between.
It's a brief breather and opportunity to say I can do this.
I CANNOT recommend a doula enough if med free is the route you want to take. I could not have done it wit out her.
Also, don't know about anyone else but after DD1, the vajay looks different. I guess it's pretty normal for skin pigment to permanently darken in that area. I only realized about 2 years later...
@MixedBerries88 I was so terrified, I had to just avoid thinking about any of it. Any time I would start to think about birth etc, I would force myself to put any thoughts to the back of my mind and kept saying I'll deal with it when I have to, instead of over thinking.
Good luck to all the first time moms!
In the very beginning, breastfeeding causes horrendous uterine cramping. I just remember coming home from the hospital, nursing my newborn daughter and all of a sudden having the worst cramping I've ever felt. I thought I was going into labor again. Literally nobody told me about this.
And thanks ladies for all the advice and 'you can do this' attitude, I think that's what us FTMs need to hear. I think we need to add a thread like this to our regular updates, cos I know I'll be needing it!
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
I personally think labor hr count should be when "active labor" starts around 4-5 cm dialated with strong consistent contractions. When you're really "laboring" and it gets difficult. So for me I say labor was around 5hrs with 1/2 hr of pushing.
BFP#1 1/21/14 ended in loss DNC 3/5/14
BFP#2 7/2014 Baby Girl born 4/15/15
BFP#3 2/10/2016 natural mc 2/27/2016
BFP#4 6/25/2016 Due 3/2/2017
I didn't get an epidural. I don't usually have a high pain tolerance at all, my mom was surprised I was going natural. I did use Hypnobabies and feel like it helped a lot and will be using it again this time.
I had 8hrs of labour with my daughter and 1.5 with my son. I never had early labour, just active.
Married: 07/04/13
BFP #1: 8/14/14, Baby Girl born 4/16/15
BFP #2: 6/21/16, Baby Girl born 2/11/17
BFP #3: 1/26/19, EDD 10/8/19
Fur Babies: 2 Cavalier King Charles Spaniels (Piper and Mia)
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
BFP#1 1/21/14 ended in loss DNC 3/5/14
BFP#2 7/2014 Baby Girl born 4/15/15
BFP#3 2/10/2016 natural mc 2/27/2016
BFP#4 6/25/2016 Due 3/2/2017
Also, your hips spread when you give birth, and even if you drop back to pre-preggo weight quickly things will fit differently for awhile because of that. Don't get discouraged! You look better than you think you do, trust me.
BFP#1 1/21/14 ended in loss DNC 3/5/14
BFP#2 7/2014 Baby Girl born 4/15/15
BFP#3 2/10/2016 natural mc 2/27/2016
BFP#4 6/25/2016 Due 3/2/2017