Fellow cosleeping moms, let me hear ya!

amarie1504 · February 2016

Is anyone else out there cosleeping and not trying any sleep training methods? I keep seeing threads on different boards about CIO, Ferber, self-soothing LOs, and here I am bringing my little man in bed with me every night after about his second or third wake-up to nurse and sleep snuggled next to me all night. DH and I are both totally fine with cosleeping and haven't had any issues; I guess these posts just make me feel like I'm so behind or not doing something right. I don't want to create any major bad habits for my LO in the long run, but cosleeping seems to be his preference for the time being. He is EBF, and I work during the day, so the nighttime snuggles and nursing sessions are special for both of us.

I am not saying I no longer want to cosleep; I mainly just want to hear from other moms who cosleep as well so I don't feel so much like a terrible mom for not implementing strict sleep habits right now (LO is 19 weeks). I will say that even though we are now cosleeping most of the night, I have stuck to his bedtime routine, which includes laying him down in his Pack N Play to sleep in his own space. However, his bedtime routine also still includes a swaddle and being rocked to sleep. There is no drowsy but awake in this household. I truly don't know if we will put him in his crib and in his own room any time soon because his nursery is on a different floor of the house than our room, and DH and I just can't bring ourselves to be comfortable with that. I am hoping once we start solids his sleep pattern will see some improvement (or maybe once we get out of this regression). Plus, I think it is hard to expect him to self soothe if he is still swaddled. Once we can break free from the swaddle and he learns to roll consistently I'm hoping some of the self-soothing and better sleep patterns will kick in. He used to sleep through the night without cosleeping.

i just want to know I'm not alone in my lack of effort (and interest) in training my child to be a master sleeper right now. I will miss these days of sleeping next to him at night soon enough, so I want to enjoy as much as possible. I just don't want to feel so out of the norm...

KateLouise · February 2016

I'm right there with you.
My youngest of 3 is 5mths old. I bring him into bed at his first wake up and he snuggles straight back to sleep and generally sleeps through until 5-6am when he has his first feed. He is also EBF.

He is in his own cot in his own room, but our house is tiny, and with both doors open I can lie in my bed and see his cot and hear him, so it''s different than if the two rooms were a long way from each other.

I've bed-shared with both my older two (6 and 4 years) They both go to sleep on their own just fine, in their own room. The 4 yr old still comes and gets in my bed, but she was always very clingy and when I have the energy I'll probably work on that. Either way I'm confident I won't have to go on any of my kid's honeymoons.

I have zero interest in listening to my baby cry. Plus I'm all about getting as much sleep as possible, and bringing baby into my bed is what gives me that.

eta: don't know how old your LO is, but the 4mth wakeful is real, so you might find that baby rolling leads to an increase in wakefulness as baby gets all excited about practising his new skills.

NurseRieger · February 2016

I've also started bringing baby to my bed at the 1st wake up. I'm not against sleep training but I work nights and he's with my mom or dh 3 nights a week and neither of them are willing to sleep train so there's no point. It would just be a waste of crying. So we're Co sleeping for now because I can't deal with waking up every 2 hours anymore. He's down to a 3am feeding now, formula fed. I don't know if you're swaddling while cosleeping but it's actually less safe and not really necessary. Swaddling is for comforting baby when they're not being held, when baby is next to you they should be feeling secure enough that they don't need the swaddle. And yes I also prefer to cosleep rather than hear him crying in the other room, I'll deal with getting him out of my bed when he's older and more mature, but I don't have a set time limit.

SmrBrd2012 · February 2016

There's nothing wrong with cosleeping if it works for you and your family. Keep doing whatever it is that you're comforable with and what gets you all the max sleep! We used to cosleep after LOs first wake up in the MOTN but it just got to the point where he wasn't falling asleep easily anymore even when cosleeping. He'd just end up kicking/punching/playing/squirming so we had to do something because no one was getting sleep and LO was exhausted. 19 weeks is still really young. You have plenty of time to transition to crib if that's what you want to do.

valerie1132 · February 2016

Everything you said is exactly how I feel. No cio here. I call myself a reluctant co sleeper because I usually have to stay on my side when she's in bed (6 months) and I get rather uncomfortable. But other than not getting to sprawl out, it works. Nighttime nursing is much easier in my opinion than having to prepare a bottle.

Plus I think it's pretty ludicrous to expect infants to sleep 12 hours alone every night, in a crib, in another room. I think that has evolved to where it is because it is inconvenient to us parents otherwise. Newsflash, kids are not an inconvenience, they are tiny people who need nurturing. If we kept puppies or kittens or any other young away from the mom at night, we'd be charged with animal cruelty, right?

amarie1504 · February 2016

Thank you, ladies. It's just nice to hear that I'm not the only one. I enjoy cosleeping even though I'm unable to sprawl out in bed now, like you @valerie1132, and I love that LO needs me and is so comforted by my presence alone. I do eventually want him to be comfortable sleeping alone, but I don't feel like that's something we should start working toward right now when he's still so young. That's NOTHING against anyone who does sleep train; it's just not for us. DH and I both love having our little man close and waking up to his sweet face every morning. We are very, very family-oriented and sleeping together (all three of us) is working!

reneelanderson · February 2016

I co sleep! I don't even bother putting my little guy in his own bed. I love having him close to me. I also EBF so it's nice to be able to hear and feel him moving around and go ahead and feed him before he fully wakes up. I don't want to hear him cry. I love him knowing that I'm always right there when he needs him

jenboston22 · February 2016

I cosleep. LO starts off in his swing until I'm ready to go to bed and then I bring him with me. We both love it and I don't plan to do any sort of sleep training. He is a bit over 5 months.

One note -- I don't think we're supposed to swaddle when cosleeping; I think it's supposed to be dangerous. Anyway, I just wanted to throw that out there as a heads up in case you were unaware of this

amarie1504 · February 2016

@jenboston22 thank you for reminding me about the swaddle! I should have mentioned that when I bring him in bed with me I remove the swaddle straps from his arms and wrap them around his belly instead. He is in a Halo Sleep Sack Swaddle, so I like to keep him in the sleep sack part. Does anyone know why swaddling while cosleeping isn't safe? Is it ok to leave him in his sleep sack and wrap the swaddle straps around his arms?

NurseRieger · February 2016

@maral1015 swaddling while bedsharing is unsafe because if baby's face gets pressed up against something they can't move themselves. They need their arms free. I don't think I would even use the sleep sack at all. My LO was done with the swaddle by 10 weeks and I only started bedsharing at 5 months. I just have him in footed pjs so he doesn't get chilly. Really swaddles trick babies into thinking they are being snuggled. With baby close to mom at night they really don't need any type of swaddle.

amarie1504 · February 2016

Thanks, @NurseRieger. That makes sense! Ive kept up with the swaddle because I'm still laying him down in his PnP to start the night (in hopes that he will magically go back to sleeping through the night, I suppose

), and he still has too much of his startle reflex to sleep without a swaddle in his own space. If our pattern of cosleeping continues I will probably do away with it though. I've just been trying to stick to his usual bedtime routine of being placed in his own sleep space to start the night.

NurseRieger · February 2016

maral1015 said:

Thanks, @NurseRieger. That makes sense! Ive kept up with the swaddle because I'm still laying him down in his PnP to start the night (in hopes that he will magically go back to sleeping through the night, I suppose ), and he still has too much of his startle reflex to sleep without a swaddle in his own space. If our pattern of cosleeping continues I will probably do away with it though. I've just been trying to stick to his usual bedtime routine of being placed in his own sleep space to start the night.

Yeah we're doing that too. He starts in the crib at bedtime and at the 1st wake up I'm usually ready for bed anyway. When he sleeps at my mom's house she puts him in the crib again after his early morning bottle and she starts getting ready for work. I'm hoping he reaches a deeper sleep soon and can sttn. He's pretty cuddly though in the meantime.

theglitteredpterodactyl · March 2016

I cosleep! Baby sleeps in her crib more often lately, but that crib is still two feet away from our bed. Sometimes in the mornings if she wakes up too early I'll pull her back into bed with me and cuddle until it's time to wake up, and sometimes I'll just bring her to bed with us because I miss having her sleep right next to me. We stopped swaddling when she first started to roll (4mo) but we've started doing it again (6mo) with her crochet blanket and it works wonders, she'll sleep twelve hours easy. She falls asleep with a bottle and lol no drowsy but awake time in my house. She's an amazing sleeper and an excellent napper, so I don't see any reason to change tactics. Glad I'm not alone in this mentality!

missdaccortezz · March 2016

I use a co sleeper, we don't share a bed. No sleep training here. I just go with the flow. He's a great Napper but wakes 2-3 times at night. He's 6 months old. He's literally only existed half a year & yet so many ppl expect these kids to be experts at everything. Haha

Saramore10 · March 2016

I think it's important to go with what you feel is best for the 2 of you. Baby is still getting used to the outside world. I EBF as well. I try to keep a happy medium between a routine and getting snuggle time with my baby. I try to keep him in his pack n play mostly throughout the night. If I wake to feed him, I'll put him back in. Sometimes I fall asleep and so he stays with me. He usually wakes around 6-630 every morning so at that time I'll bring him into bed with me to feed him and he will take a little nap then too. Occasionally I'll nap with him during the day too. We stopped swaddling as soon as he started to roll which was about 3mo.

chime · June 2016

I am glad to have read this thread. I have felt like us co-sleeping had to be a big secret because of how dangerous it's made out to be. I understand the risks but it's the only thing that works for us. My husband gets up at 330am for work after maybe 5 hours of sleep and works 15 hour days 5-6 days a week. I am reluctant to spend those 5 hours trying to soothe a baby back to sleep in her own crib. She will sleep nearly 12 hours with maybe one or two drowsy nursing sessions while in bed. It works for her and us. Once she starts rolling and is through the 4 month sleep regression, I will be more interested in her crib. In the meantime, I love our night time snuggles.

BGoperadiva · June 2016

I am a sometimes co-sleeper. Usually my little man will start out the night in his crib, but my husband and I don't really feel like instituting any CIO methods. If he fusses a little bit, I'll leave him in there; otherwise, we will pick him up to soothe him, or rock him to sleep, or stroke his head and hold is hand until he falls asleep. LO most mornings will end up in bed with us when he wakes up around 5 or 5:30, and when we went on vacation last weekend, he slept in the hotel bed with us. I think all parents should do what they feel comfortable with, and whatever keeps everyone happy and healthy!

PaniaO · June 2016

I'm a reluctant bed-sharer, too. My kid will occasionally sleep 2-5 hours in his rnp but I don't have the patience to put him to sleep over and over on nights with more frequent wakings, and I always bring him to bed if I'm already asleep when he wakes up. I HATE sleeping on my side, so I'm eager for him to sleep in his own bed, but I'm not willing to do CIO or really 'train' him at all until he can understand what's going on and not completely panic when he's asleep and I'm not touching him.

Knottie59802221 · June 2016

We were co sleepers until we had a big scare a while ago. My husband had rolled and she was face first in a pillow and not moving or responding when we touched her. It turned out she was just sound asleep and got really cranky about being woken up. I had been so scared though that I was awake the rest of the night crying hysterically. So the next day I rearranged the entire bedroom by myself with my super mom strength and now she sleeps in the swing next to the bed. It was like a miracle, she goes right back to sleep as soon as I turn it on! No sleep training yet, but I feel like maybe I'll start soon. I don't want her to become too dependent on the swinging, but for now it's sooo nice to be getting a lot of sleep.

annawestt · July 2016

Been co sleeping since day one! My 4 month old sleeps with me after her first wake up. I adore waking up next to her and would not trade those morning smiles and coos in my face for the world. Only thing I'm working on is getting my nipple out of her mouth after motn feedings.. I can't usually sleep comfortably like that.

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Fellow cosleeping moms, let me hear ya!

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