Today should have been my due date (my daughter was born sleeping 4 weeks ago) I stupidly took a pregnancy test yesterday wanting to believe I got pregnant that fast (yes I know I shouldn't be ttc so fast and I wont anymore) I guess I just wanted anything to take the pain away. My boyfriend isn't talking to me either he's kinda stressed right now, but I just want him to hold me and tell me everything will be ok. I hate that they should both be here, I shouldn't be alone in the least... but I am. It's quiet and there is no one to hold, only her blanket. I'm so mad I risked infection and injury ttc when I knew logically nothing would happen that fast. What's driving me more crazy is because of leftover hcg I got a false positive on the hpt I tried taking, it got my hopes up for a few mins before reality set in. Why did I put myself through that when I knew today would be hard for me. I hate these empty arms, I can't stand this empty blanket.
Hugs. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can be kind to yourself today and let yourself feel whatever you're feeling, and that you can get the support you need from your boyfriend.
About me: /loss mentioned/ TTC#1 July 2014 dx: MFI (morphology) IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!! hb 146 bpm at 7w5d 1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w d&c, followed by cytotec TTCAL April 2016 IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
I am so sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve in the way that you need to. Take care of yourself, and talk to someone who can give you support in the way you need.
I'm very sorry for your loss and that your boyfriend couldn't comfort you last night. I agree that sometimes you just need to be enveloped in love and caring when you're hurting so badly. I hope today you and your boyfriend may be able to connect or start being able to connect again, but sometimes it takes a little time to bridge the gap when you're both grieving differently. Wishing you comfort.
Me: 41 / Fiance: 35 + One DS, one dog & two kitties...
First BFP: 1/17/16 = EDD 9/21/16 (MMC)
Second BFP: 6/24/16 (CP)
Third BFP: 2/7/17 = EDD 10/20/17 🌈 *** BORN 10/23 *** 🌈
A little update: The boyfriend and I broke up today. Kinda wish it wasn't today but thats life, I'll make it through. I must admit I'm scared to be alone though. I guess this means I wont be posting on this board for a while, but I wish u all luck. I hope I can try for my rainbow in the not too far future. Thanks again for all the kind words.
Re: Alone at 4am, help?
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
Me: 26 DH: 28
TTC #1 since 06/2014
BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17
I am so sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve in the way that you need to. Take care of yourself, and talk to someone who can give you support in the way you need.
Married: 4-25-2014
TTC: March 2015
BFP: 2-18-16
Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
D&C: 4-2-16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17