Soon to be single parent of 15mo old — The Bump
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Soon to be single parent of 15mo old

My husband informed me he no longer wants to be married. We have a 15 mo old son. My husband said he isn't happy, he doesn't regret having our son but having a family isn't what he thought it would be... I've seen an attorney and started our paper work. My husband has never been involved in helping take care of our son, unless forced to. He's never taken him in the car anywhere by himself, I have to leave a schedule of what to feed him/when, he's never gotten up with him during the night or in the morning on his own... So he's currently agreeing to me having sole custody, he'll get visitations. No weekends or over nights. Our son also has a few health problems that my husband does not handle well.

Does anyone know how specific I can get with the visitation requirements? We're going to put in the paper work that we will set a schedule basically on a weekly basis since my husbands work schedule would not allow a normal court ordered one. Plus he's already missed one visitation and been over an hour n a half late within the first week. 

Since he's never taken care of our son without assistance, I don't want him to be able to take him anywhere he pleases. My husband's family also isn't very involved with our son. But now my MIL and SIL keep pushing wanting to take my son places or over to their homes (which they've never done before). I don't mind them seeing him, but I don't see how they would have rights to take my son anywhere when they haven't been involved this entire time.

Any advice would be appreciated!!

Re: Soon to be single parent of 15mo old

  • I don't think the court can enforce that your sons dad doesn't go places with him. That's something u need to discuss with him and tell him your concerns. As far as the mil and sil, They don't have visitation to your child as far as I know. But if your husband has your son for his visitation and let's his mom or sister take him I'm not sure what you can do about it. When my brother had joint custody of his daughter he would pawn her off on me and my mom for the entire week. Some guys do that bc they can't handle the responsibility. Sorry I don't have better advice, I hope things work out for you. 
  • I think you can get as specific as you see fit.  If you're worried about how he is with your LO, I believe you can ask for supervised visits.  The supervisor would be a counselor or a police officer I believe, and I think it depends on what kind of supervision is needed.  I don't any experience with visitation through the court.  Based on the fact that your LO has health issues and your STBXH hasn't really bothered with helping out with those issues, you might be able to get supervised visits so that your LO will get the care needed while your STBXH has him.

    Good luck! Sending you lots of love!
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  • I am going through a similar situation and just wanted to let you know that I am here for you. My son is 16 months. EXH and I are separated and trying to navigate through all this craziness can be overwhelming. Your attorney should be a good source info for you regarding visitation needs/concerns. Good luck and feel free to PM to vent or if you have any questions. 
  • coriej4110coriej4110 member
    edited July 2016
    Thank you for the advice... I found out this week my STBXH was out all night long, hadn't slept in over 30hrs and drinking before he came over for a visitation. And he has been sleeping while here spending time with our son and I haven't been home. So I've already informed the attorney and am asking for him not to be able to be alone with our son.

    Just don't get why he just doesn't not come around if he isn't going to keep our son's safety and health as a priority. 
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