One and Done?

rbflei · July 2016

I am just curious as I read so much about siblings if there was anyone else out there planning on this baby being their only one. It's funny, people don't seem to understand that yes, we love her yes, we planned to have her, we just want one. We just constantly hear about when we have our next one, it's kind of comical as we often hear more about it after we share that she will be our only baby.

HeartLikeMine3 · July 2016

I think if your sure your one and done good for you don't let anyone make you feel guilty. I was very one and done and my DH was not. We fought about it for two years after DS finally I gave in and couldn't be happier I did. DS was a very difficult baby and still is as a toddler. My baby girl is a breeze compared to her brother and I couldn't be more thankful. DH is getting a vasectomy next week part of his promise. People are like why are you doing that so soon? Because we are done people!!!!

StayingFocused · July 2016

I'm one and done!

adiaz132003 · July 2016

We thought about being one and done but we shifted from there and have already started planning the next. Lol but I know where you're coming from. I thought telling ppl I wanted no kids was bad? Haha nope when we used to say we only wanted one, Wed get the look and "but who are they gonna play with?", "You're gonna wish you had more so they can distract each other" ect. Um pretty sure there have been many only children that have done just fine. I had a brother who I hated and DH was an only child and his mom said we was always happy to entertain himself. You just never know so people need to lay off and mind their own.

Knottie13257900 · July 2016

I am one and done and my husband isn't. Easy for him to want another when I do all the work with this one...

26pointrunningfor2 · July 2016

We are one and done. I never wanted children at all, but I'm so glad my husband swayed me to have one. That said, I'm overwhelmed by the thought of having two to look after. One seems like plenty for me to handle.
I do however think about how our son will not have a sibling, which makes me sad. But we are 35 and I wouldn't be ready to go through pregnancy again until 40, and for me personally, that's older than I want to be as a mom to a newborn. So many reasons for us why 1 is perfect.

MistKeeper · July 2016

That's the plan! I told my MIL that we're only having one and she looked like she was going to cry (pre-. delivery). If she wanted more grandchildren, she should have had more than one kid herself. Personally, I am taking 1-3 years off work for this little guy. We planned for it, but it can't go on forever (kids get more expensive). I had the kid because I want to be there as much as possible. I need to work and if I have another, I won't be home with him/her. It would also be financially stressful and potentially require a move to a larger place. Best of all, I don't actually need any of these reasons: my body, my choice.

laurendiaz02 · July 2016

Yeeeeess! One and done for sure. I also didn't ever see myself having kids but my husband wants 5. Haha. So one is a good compromise. We love our squishy to death and couldn't imagine life without him...or with another!

egirl1025 · July 2016

I had initially always said three, now after one I am reserving the right to just have the one. I will be 36 this fall and I just do not see the time to fit three in before it just gets too risky. My hubby really wants at least two. If we go for two we will have two under two and I told my husband i wouldn't do it unless I had a full time nanny to be there when we brought the new little one home. I commend all mom's with multiple children going through this infant stage. There were days i barely remembered to go to the bathroom

vintagevix2016 · July 2016

One and maaaybe done. We're both perfectly happy with one but we have also weighed the pros and cons of having a 2nd. I would say we are just leaving the idea open for continued discussion. We both didn't want kids until we met and started dating. I dunno, something clicked and we both knew we wanted to raise and love a child together.

Tawny87 · July 2016

I was originally planning on one but then I had twins. Baby brother made 3 and now we are very very done!!!! Back to the original point, yes, people look at you like you have a 3rd eye when you tell them you just want one lol

amangels2 · July 2016

I also am one and done. I choose to be a single mom and I love my son so incredibly much. But I could not imagine having another one. I am exhausted. Plus there is no way I could afford another child.

AmberLiz99 · July 2016

My brother and his wife are one and done, and I think they get some flack for it, but it's pretty common in my are.

when people see that I have three kids they act as if that's a huge family! So funny how different areas have different ideas of "normal"

learning to ignore people's opinions has been one of the most vital parts of becoming a parent

adiaz132003 · July 2016

AmberLiz99 said:

My brother and his wife are one and done, and I think they get some flack for it, but it's pretty common in my are.

when people see that I have three kids they act as if that's a huge family! So funny how different areas have different ideas of "normal"

learning to ignore people's opinions has been one of the most vital parts of becoming a parent

3 is huge? Lol I met a woman who had 10!!! 10!!! Like she was real, this was real life!

AmberLiz99 · July 2016

adiaz132003 said:

AmberLiz99 said:

My brother and his wife are one and done, and I think they get some flack for it, but it's pretty common in my are.

when people see that I have three kids they act as if that's a huge family! So funny how different areas have different ideas of "normal"

learning to ignore people's opinions has been one of the most vital parts of becoming a parent

3 is huge? Lol I met a woman who had 10!!! 10!!! Like she was real, this was real life!

I know, right?

I have several friends who came from families of 6-10, but it's super uncommon in my current area.

ahernandez16 · July 2016

We were/are planning on being one and done. Both H and I come from families of 7 children and while having siblings is nice, there's a quality of life we want to provide for our kiddo that we might not be able to with more. Plus. We each have 6 siblings. He will have plenty of cousins, haha.

That being said, I'm not opposed to another if our financial situation changes. Time will tell.

AOliveira11 · July 2016

I am definitely one and done. LO is an ivf baby and that was a time consuming affair in of itself. Plus i had a c-section and my ob said if i was to have another it would automatically be a scheduled c-section because of this. The pregnancy was horrible and i was always throwing up even on the day she was born and the recovery for having a baby...i love my little girl but fhe physical strain my body took was enough for me to never want to do it again. Whoever said pregnancy was a beautiful thing obviously never had morning sickness lol

loveymay · July 2016

Lurking

My dh and I wanted 2-3, but once I was pregnant I said no more! Pregnancy for me was absolutely miserable, totally worth it though. I love my LO! We have talked about having 1 more, but Im still on the fence. LO is only 4 months old, but maybe when he is a toddler I'll miss the baby phase and want another. Though I have no idea how I will work full time with a toddler and a newborn, Im barely handling it now. My MIL also acted like it was the worst news in the world when my dh told her I didnt want anymore kids. I felt the same way PP did, if she wanted more grandkids then she should have had more than one kid herself! Pregnancy isnt rainbows and sunshine for everyone.

rlbrooks84 · July 2016

loveymay said:

Lurking

My dh and I wanted 2-3, but once I was pregnant I said no more! Pregnancy for me was absolutely miserable, totally worth it though. I love my LO! We have talked about having 1 more, but Im still on the fence. LO is only 4 months old, but maybe when he is a toddler I'll miss the baby phase and want another. Though I have no idea how I will work full time with a toddler and a newborn, Im barely handling it now. My MIL also acted like it was the worst news in the world when my dh told her I didnt want anymore kids. I felt the same way PP did, if she wanted more grandkids then she should have had more than one kid herself! Pregnancy isnt rainbows and sunshine for everyone.

So I told my MIL I didn't want more just to upset her! I'm mean like that, she started pushing me to have kids before DH and I were married, we had been together like 3 yrs.

vintagevix2016 · July 2016

rlbrooks84 said:

loveymay said:

Lurking

My dh and I wanted 2-3, but once I was pregnant I said no more! Pregnancy for me was absolutely miserable, totally worth it though. I love my LO! We have talked about having 1 more, but Im still on the fence. LO is only 4 months old, but maybe when he is a toddler I'll miss the baby phase and want another. Though I have no idea how I will work full time with a toddler and a newborn, Im barely handling it now. My MIL also acted like it was the worst news in the world when my dh told her I didnt want anymore kids. I felt the same way PP did, if she wanted more grandkids then she should have had more than one kid herself! Pregnancy isnt rainbows and sunshine for everyone.

So I told my MIL I didn't want more just to upset her! I'm mean like that, she started pushing me to have kids before DH and I were married, we had been together like 3 yrs.

Both the in-laws and my parents constantly make "next one" comments. At first I just laughed and said that we need to get a handle on having one before we even think of having another one. Now that we are going through the colic phase, we're both deeefinitely leaning towards one and done. (We literally just talked about it last night.)

I told my Mom about the conversation today and of course her response was, "You say that now! Once this is behind you, you might feel different." She isn't wrong but for now, I think this little guy will be it for us. Time will tell!

HeartLikeMine3 · July 2016

I just want to warn all you new moms not to do anything permanent unless your 200% sure. I was one and done after having a colicky high maintenance DS and here I am with the sweetest little girl. I'm not judging but a lot of people change their mind even when you feel like you would never put yourself in the depths of hell again lol. I've been there and here I am with two.

rlbrooks84 · July 2016

Oh and I should mention I have 3, but this really is our last. I don't love being pregnant, I seem to get food poisoning every time! But I did feel like 1 more would make our family complete and I love having a baby! I'm so sad she's growing so fast.

vintagevix2016 · July 2016

HeartLikeMine3 said:

I just want to warn all you new moms not to do anything permanent unless your 200% sure. I was one and done after having a colicky high maintenance DS and here I am with the sweetest little girl. I'm not judging but a lot of people change their mind even when you feel like you would never put yourself in the depths of hell again lol. I've been there and here I am with two.

Oh I definitely don't plan to do anything permanent! We may have a change of heart down the road, who can say. I just don't want to think too much about a second kiddo for the moment. I know my husband and I will revisit the topic periodically as time goes by.

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