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May 2016 Moms
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Niece a little "too" into the baby?

michellabananamichellabanana member
in May 2016 Moms
So my 12 year old niece is so into the baby which I'm excited about.  She and my other niece actually fight over who is going to help me change the diaper!  Talk about love!

Well, she starts saying things how she wants my baby to be hers, saying she gave birth to the baby, and how she would be an excellent mother.

Mostly I've just been blowing it off, even semi trying to joke about how painful and tiring everything is.  But I'm starting to get a little worried about her.  Today I let her hold , the he baby on the couch, and went to pick her up, she turned away and said no.  I told her it's not a joke, she is not a toy, and when a mother tells you to give the  baby back, you give it back.  No playing games.

I am just worried,that she thinks a baby is so sweet and easy.  I tried talking to her how you're not just up one night, but for a continuous and infinity time. How we we were prepared as best as were for the baby (college, marriage , house). All the tests and doctors appt.  But it didn't seem to phase her.  She said she would live with mom mom and pop pop (my parents).  I wanted to say "news flash, mom mom and pop pop are in their 70s"

I wouldn't want to upset her about my parents aging, but I don't want her to think think that there house is an eternal safe haven.  

Maybe I shouldn't even worry about it, I'm not her parent, but I love her and don't want to see her stuck in any situation.

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Re: Niece a little "too" into the baby?

  • vinerievinerie member
    That's interesting...what is your relationship with her like? Perhaps she is trying to impress you, or "be like you." 


    Me: 38; DH: 41
    DS: Born 5-17-16 

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  • juliemay623juliemay623 member
    What exactly is your concern? The safety of your baby or that your niece is going to try to get pregnant so she can have her own baby? 

    If you have real concerns, I would speak with her parents, it's definitely not your job to have that conversation with her.

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  • michellabananamichellabanana member
    Well, basically she stays with my parents every weekend, she has her own room there.  We are actually very close...we do alot of stuff together, I've even gone on vacation with her (with her mother's permission of course) her mother always seems to want her to act older , saying the clothes we bought her were too little kiddish (hello,  that's what  girls are wearing lol). 

    I don't think it's just me cause she had said some of the same things about my sisters baby.

    She got to be part of the gender reveal party and helped in making games for the shower.  Saw how everyone was so excited for the baby.

    It's hard to explain to her how it's different when you're older.  My parents might not be the same with her anymore, her cousins and friends might not want to hang out with her anymore. 

    I hate to admit it, but one of my best friends got pregnant in the 9th grade, and I totally deserted her.  I could not handle the thought of it 

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  • camillaandcarsoncamillaandcarson member
    edited July 2016
    Can you openly talk to your sister about any concerns and how she as a parent would want you to address those concerns with her child?
    Sounds like she also has a baby sibling too?

    Why doesn't the child stay with her own parents every weekend? 
    What are the parents doing? If she is school age then she spends most of her waking hours at school during the week, when do the parents get to hang out with her if they give up all weekends too?  
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  • proudparent2bproudparent2b member
    You should discuss this with your sibling or parents. In the meantime, you might want to distance her from LO or help redirect her attention to more age appropriate things.
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  • michellabananamichellabanana member
    proudparent2b said:
    You should discuss this with your sibling or parents. In the meantime, you might want to distance her from LO or help redirect her attention to more age appropriate things.
    I think that is a good idea.  Keep her focused on her age things...it's hard cause that's all the stuff I used to do with her but can't really do right now.  Maybe I have to separate myself from her a little bit more.  

    She's actually my brothers daughter, but he works  all the time.  Shes the youngest out of 4 sisters (3 different fathers) her parents aren't ideal lol (but I guess whose are?).  My brother and her mother were never together after she was born.  She was a stripper my brother was a bouncer
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