@GlitterDragon I honestly thought it sounded nuts but then I thought that the world is getting crazy. I mean if sperm donors can eventually win visitation rights, why wouldn't a grandparent get visitation rights lol
Edit: in case someone actually concerned about grandparent rights checks into it and finds it to be garbage, please let me know. I just have no interest in even researching it.
Grandparent Rights are unfortunately a very real legal option. It varies state by state and country by country, so it might be that you're in a state that's very unfriendly to GPR, or you might be in a state where it is very possible for the grandparents of a child to sue you for visitation... (with all the financial costs and emotional stresses that are associated with it).
^ yikes luckily we haven't actually had a blow up with the family. And that was threatened at a crazy time in my life, when husband and mom were fighting like cats and dogs lol that's been long done.
@lj1846 Looks like she just got the right to have zero baby-related news given to her.
GTFO with grandparents rights. I'd move if that's what it took to keep prying grandparents in line. Saying that kind of shit is the first way to get me to put you at the end of the "need to know" line.
So I just went to my local mexican place - it's around the corner so we usually eat dinner there fairly often. I asked if the cheese was pasteurized, half because I felt obligated to and half for real concern. I thought all cheese sold in U.S. restaurants had to be pasteurized. I was really shocked when she said no!
Have you guys looked into this at all at your local joints? Man, I'm gonna miss their cheese dip and cheese on a tacos. It's going to greatly reduce the amount of food I consume there.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
@Tennis11785 are you sure she knew what you were asking/was speaking on authority? That seems so odd! I know from experience working in restaurants in college that my coworkers would often answer questions they didn't really know the answers to.
I'm sorry for your cheese less outing! That's the best part!
I was taken down a peg or two a while ago for saying I didn't believe grandparents rights were equal to parental rights. I am angry for you @lj1846! She was way out of line, I'm so sorry!
Sounds like she earned herself a backseat to news going forward
@Tennis11785 are you sure she knew what you were asking/was speaking on authority? That seems so odd! I know from experience working in restaurants in college that my coworkers would often answer questions they didn't really know the answers to.
I'm sorry for your cheese less outing! That's the best part!
I agree try and ask a manager next time, if you didn't already. I'm a sous chef and I can tell you that sometimes even the cooks don't know what they're talking about (re: allergens, pregnancy). A manager should have a book where they can look up all ingredients/ food handling.
@Jab3 Thanks, I needed that. I definitely feel like being miserable is taking a toll on my personality though. I know I should be thrilled to have two strong babies, but I've been stuck in a cloud. This too shall pass.
@Lakancook I'm so with you. My 5yr & 18mo boys have expressed similar gut wrenching requests. This is temporary; I've got to remember that.
@HeatSparks, it will get better! I was much sicker with my twin pregnancy than my singleton. You have extra hormones, extra everything. I know I started feeling better around 16 weeks, but it was hard. Hang in there!
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
thanks, @GlitterDragon and @homemake - honestly. No. I am not convinced she was correct. But I still didn't eat any cheese. I didn't see any of the staff that I know speaks fluent English (most of them speak enough to get by, but are mostly Spanish speakers. Which is fine, since it is a Mexican restaurant). I figured I'd play it safe for now and avoid the cheese, and would ask again the next time I'm there.
Thanks for confirming that I wasn't crazy for assuming the restaurant cheese would be pasteurized.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
thanks, @GlitterDragon and @homemake - honestly. No. I am not convinced she was correct. But I still didn't eat any cheese. I didn't see any of the staff that I know speaks fluent English (most of them speak enough to get by, but are mostly Spanish speakers. Which is fine, since it is a Mexican restaurant). I figured I'd play it safe for now and avoid the cheese, and would ask again the next time I'm there.
Thanks for confirming that I wasn't crazy for assuming the restaurant cheese would be pasteurized.
No problem you're definitely not crazy. It really should be pasteurized to protect their customers. People getting sick would be bad for business.
I hate how stressful pregnancy is in general. On top of crappy symptoms, I feel like I'm always worried. I remember that from being pregnant with DD and it just sucks. Even going to the OB and know for sure everything is fine, doesn't seem to really ease my mind. I really can't wait until we get to the point where we can feel the baby, though I still remember getting nervous later on. Pregnancy is just rough.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
That stinks @lj1846. I've told everyone we've told so far no fb posts bc I'm friends with my boss and other coworkers and am waiting to spread the news there until 2nd trimester. Now I have to look up if my state supports grandparent rights bc sometimes my parents are nuts. We haven't been getting along the best and it'd be just like them to tell me it's too soon to have a baby then demand visitation rights...
They could be telling the truth @Tennis11785. We went to a restaurant where I asked and a manager told me one of their cheeses wasn't pasteurized.
Question is unpasteurized cheese ok if it's cooked into something?
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@marriedhamstermom - that's the next thing I need to research. And how hot does it need to get to be safe. Like if I order some cheese dip "extra hot", would that be enough? I'd have no problem pouring the cheese dip on my tacos.
And if not, I'll just make tacos at home with regular old cheese. Obviously I wouldn't want to risk it.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
I'm willing to bet the shredded cheese you get with most entrees is pasteurized - probably comes in a giant Sisco brand bag. And whatever velveeta-like cheese they use for queso. Maybe not the cotija, though?
@Tennis11785 and @WinchesterGirl I googled it and there was an article that said to heat it to the point of melting and bubbling first and then it should be OK. Looks like milk can be pasteurized at 161 degrees F in 15s or at 145 degrees F in 30 minutes. Most milk that you get pasteurized is probably heated at over 300 degrees F though.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@Tennis11785 I've had the same problem recently with a few local restaurants who weren't able to tell me if their cheese was pasteurized or not. I ended up ordering my gyro to go and buying pasteurized feta at the grocery store to put on it.
on the topic of food safety, do all of you avoid lunch meats? I was told to but are they ok if they are heated up?
CallMeLauraJane, I'm just seeing what you wrote now. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. That's absolutely ridiculous. I hate to say it, but I've had similar experiences dealing with PCPs, pharmacies, psychiatrists, meds etc. So you're not alone, but that doesn't make it any better I know. No one, especially not those of us struggling, should ever have to deal with stupid shit like that. People don't realize that missing even a day or two of a med like that is no joke (both the physical and mental withdrawals are brutal almost instantly.) And then when you get back on it, it takes awhile to become consistently effective again.
I know mistakes are made, but there really isn't room for error to where this kind of stuff is concerned and what happened to you is unacceptable. These people are well educated and getting paid big bucks to do what they do too, there's no excuse. Good luck with finding a more competent provider. I also had to switch because I was done dealing with the BS. BTW I'm so very sorry to hear about your grandad too.
I wish there was a thread for those of us who would benefit from talking about dealing with depression/anxiety or any mental health issues. I had to wean off the med I was on because it's been deemed unsafe during pregnancy (unlike Zoloft) so I've been seriously struggling. I hope you're feeling better this week.
Re: grandparents rights, I unfortunately had to become knowledgable when MIL started throwing it around. It's my understanding that in MOST cases there has to be a deceased or estranged parent. For example, if the mother of the child passed and the father won't let the maternal grandparents have visitation- that's a case for grandparents rights. For the most part if you and your spouse are on the same page regarding visitation, there isn't much that can be done.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@lfrank12 I'm going to be real honest here, and this my be an UO, but I don't really pay too close attention to the cheese and meat thing. I mean, I avoid soft cheeses in general, but I'm not worried about the occasional cheese dip at a Mexican joint. And I do have to occasional cold ham sandwich. I also eat over easy eggs every Sunday and the occasional medium cooked steak. My doctor is aware of all of this and thinks it's fine.
@scifichick09 Thank you that makes me feel a lot better! This is my first pregnancy so I've been reading all the guidelines and feel like I have to tip toe around every meal to make sure I'm not eating something wrong. You have NO idea how much I've been craving a jimmy johns sandwich!
@peachesnbean I agree, most states have that as a proviso, and it's great that you are in one that does. Unfortunately, some states/countries have the only requirement be that the grandparents can "prove" they have a connection to the child and the child could be "damaged" by losing that connection. So if both parents start to feel that the connection is unhealthy and agree to dial back contact, in those states, the grandparents unfortunately still have a case, even though parents are on the same page. Then it would be up to the parents to "prove" their concerns are valid.
Don't want to sound alarmist, I'd just hate for someone to read your update and think they don't have to worry about it any further, if they are in a state that doesn't have the estrangement/deceased requirements for GPR.
I've had Jimmy Johns like 7 times so far. If it's the ONLY thing I can keep down and the alternative is losing more weight, it's a no-brainer in my book. Plus their BBQ chips are ahmaaaazing!
I'm not eating deli meats, but I rarely eat deli meats anyway. I do think it's funny that most of the time you hear of listeria outbreaks it's in items that are not on the list of things pregnant people should avoid. I don't know if that's just because it's expected there so it's not as widely reported, whereas when it's in things like frozen veggies there is more of a need to share that news.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Re: Monday Bitchfest (7/25)
Edit: in case someone actually concerned about grandparent rights checks into it and finds it to be garbage, please let me know. I just have no interest in even researching it.
GTFO with grandparents rights. I'd move if that's what it took to keep prying grandparents in line. Saying that kind of shit is the first way to get me to put you at the end of the "need to know" line.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Have you guys looked into this at all at your local joints? Man, I'm gonna miss their cheese dip and cheese on a tacos. It's going to greatly reduce the amount of food I consume there.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
I'm sorry for your cheese less outing! That's the best part!
Sounds like she earned herself a backseat to news going forward
@Lakancook I'm so with you. My 5yr & 18mo boys have expressed similar gut wrenching requests. This is temporary; I've got to remember that.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
Thanks for confirming that I wasn't crazy for assuming the restaurant cheese would be pasteurized.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
They could be telling the truth @Tennis11785. We went to a restaurant where I asked and a manager told me one of their cheeses wasn't pasteurized.
Question is unpasteurized cheese ok if it's cooked into something?
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
And if not, I'll just make tacos at home with regular old cheese. Obviously I wouldn't want to risk it.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
on the topic of food safety, do all of you avoid lunch meats? I was told to but are they ok if they are heated up?
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
I know mistakes are made, but there really isn't room for error to where this kind of stuff is concerned and what happened to you is unacceptable. These people are well educated and getting paid big bucks to do what they do too, there's no excuse. Good luck with finding a more competent provider. I also had to switch because I was done dealing with the BS. BTW I'm so very sorry to hear about your grandad too.
I wish there was a thread for those of us who would benefit from talking about dealing with depression/anxiety or any mental health issues. I had to wean off the med I was on because it's been deemed unsafe during pregnancy (unlike Zoloft) so I've been seriously struggling. I hope you're feeling better this week.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Don't want to sound alarmist, I'd just hate for someone to read your update and think they don't have to worry about it any further, if they are in a state that doesn't have the estrangement/deceased requirements for GPR.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17