Benched/TTA Weekly Thread 7/18

beary67 · July 2016

***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.***

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer- even if it is for a good reason. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say, and treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and are "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons
TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA?

What brings you here?

How long do you think you'll be here?

How have things been going?

Any R/R/CS?

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in?

kiwi2628 · July 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Waiting until timing is right

How long do you think you'll be here? THATS A GOOD QUESTION. See below

How have things been going? Confusing. Halp.

Any R/R/CS? Ok, so I was set to get my period on the 24th. I am not temping right now because I did for 2 years and my secondary signs are ridiculously accurate and work 23 out of 24 months, and since we have sex ED or EOD, when it comes to making babies, I just wont find it that useful. I do use OPKs though so we know when we can stop pulling out. SO- I was set to ovulate on the 12th, but all my secondary signs came really early, like the 6th and 7th, which means I would have been Oing on CD fucking 7 or 8. Like...really. I didnt take any OPKs cuz I just thought I was starting symptoms earlier and I would continue until I Od, but all signs stopped on the 9th, and I tested from the 9th to the 16th and all dead negative OPKs. Like, not even a mayyyybe positive, all blank of a second line.

And then yesterday I started to bleed- not a lot, but enough to fill a light tampon. Today, no blood. DA FUQ. Is my period being weird and I ovulated mad early? Is this break through bleeding? I dont know if I should count yesterday as CD1 or what. Obviously I have to wait to see what my body does, but its confusing.

ANDPLUSALSO that means we may be pushing back TTC until sept because IF this was my perod, that means my august cycle will be too far from our portugal trip and I do NOT wanna be pregnant in portugal, so now maybe waiting until sept- which is fine, but I WANNA KNOW WTF IS HAPPENING IN MY UTERUS.

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in?
The kind with sugar.

hanshotfirst77 · July 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? New job, switching health insurance and finances.

How long do you think you'll be here? Optimistically December '16, but could be longer

How have things been going? Okay. New job starts August 1st. Should be able to schedule things with RE in September (HSG,Saline Sono, SA for DH). I am very sad that we cannot TTC and that we do not even know for sure when we can. I keep being reminded of things, like people asking about when DS will get a sibling or seeing FB announcements and such.

Any R/R/CS? Nope

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in?
anything with chocolate. I am a chocoholic!

LadyMillil · July 2016

Are you benched or TTA? SS - benched from IF treatments

What brings you here? moving and starting a new job

How long do you think you'll be here? I don't anticipate starting the next round of treatments until Nov/Dec

How have things been going? Busy with planning the move. My RE is sending a referral to my new clinic

Any R/R/CS?

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in? All of them

Nelbetron · July 2016

Edited: words
Are you benched or TTA? Tta

What brings you here? Husband is on medication temporarily that is linked to birth defects

How long do you think you'll be here? A few months + one sperm cycle... optimistic me thinks jan. Or feb? But it's really too soon to tell

How have things been going? Good... it was hard for me last week, when I got af, and officially knew we weren't trying until he was off these meds, but now I'm trying to focus on getting in shape and career progression, which are good distractions.

Any R/R/CS? Nope!

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in? Brownies!! And homemade chocolate chip cookies. And in summer, a big creamie!

izza2 · July 2016

@Kiwi2628 - If it was enough to fill a tampon or a pad - no matter how light it is, it's generally considered your period. Was it just one tampon that was filled, or was it multiple? I've had periods that were a lot lighter and a lot shorter (one day, two-medium-tampons-worth) than my "normal", but they were my period for that cycle. I'd mark it light on FF/whatever you use, and if you get a more 'normal' period when you would 'normally' expect it, then take it out or mark it as spotting.

Honestly, without temping, there's no way to know when you actually ovulated, so you can't tell if that was when your TWW was over, or not.

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? School

How long do you think you'll be here? Too long

How have things been going? Decent.

Any R/R/CS? The past two weeks have been psycho so I forgot to call in the prescription for my patch, so how I'm on day 3 of when I'm supposed to have it on, and still no patch. I called it in yesterday, but it takes them a day/day and a half to get it in, so it won't be ready until this afternoon or tomorrow. I'm already on CD 6 and usually ovulate around CD 10, so at this point I'm in my FW or right on the edge of it, so chances are I'll tell H to wear condoms for this cycle. Even if I put the patch on tomorrow when I get it, we'll have to use back up to be sure. Why even waste the patches at that point. I'll just make sure I pay closer attention to CM and keep the condoms at more eye-level so we remember.
We hear today on what H's potential new job can offer him pay-wise. The job is his if he wants it, it's just a matter of if the pay is there or not. I hope it is, because we're both sick of his current job, and I'm ready to move on with our lives.
I have yet to hear from my prospective college. I emailed her on Friday, so I'm emailing her again this morning and if I don't hear anything by this afternoon I'm calling. I hate calling, but I need to know.

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in? Cheesecake. Cherry cheesecake. REAL cheesecake, though.

Nelbetron · July 2016

@JediAlly85 sorry your sad... I get that way too. I don't know why, but every time I hear a pregnancy announcement, I get a little obsessive... like someone else gets to have what I dont! (Hence why I just popped in here this afternoon! I heard another one!) I hope these next few months are speedy for the both of us... just wanted to let you know I can relate

kiwi2628 · July 2016

@izza2, the lightness didnt bother me, just the 7 days early. But it re-started hard and fast last night, so its def a period. And I know people on here go gaga for temping- I did it for 2 years without issue, but my secondary signs are 100% consistent. I was just simply baffled that I ovulated on CD7 or CD8 since im usually a CD13 kinda gal. Oh well. Proof that you are regular until you arent.

Aaaaaand it now means that I dont have my period in Portugal SO FUCKING YAY

Marley629 · July 2016

Are you benched or TTA? Benched it seems

What brings you here? Hysterscopy with polypectomy on 7/28 (3 days before typical O date)

How long do you think you'll be here? Hoping only 1 cycle though the doctor has not given me a straight answer

How have things been going? I'm trying to look at this cycle being benched as a positive thing - focus on losing weight and getting back into running. Also dr Google has helped give me hope that this procedure will somehow help my fertility so I'll hold onto that

Any R/R/CS? CD1 today and she's extra b*tchy

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in? Not much of a dessert person but I do love banana cream cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory

[Deleted User] · July 2016

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? PCOS diagnosis - waiting for appointment with RE

How long do you think you'll be here? Hopefully just until August... no idea though

How have things been going? Pretty shitty tbh

Any R/R/CS? I fucking hate being here. I hate not being ttc. I hate how powerless I feel. I hate how pointless the past four months of trying have been.

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in? SO makes a cashew milk chocolate ice cream that is the best thing on this earth.

beary67 · July 2016

@JediAlly85 I'm sorry you are over here but I'm happy the new health insurance should help move forward with testing and treatment!

@izza2 I hope you and your husband got good news regarding his potential new job!

@Marley629 I love your attitude about using this cycle to lose some weight and get back to running. I am going to adopt your attitude, too! Up until I found out about the M/C, I was following a gluten free/dairy free diet for PCOS and I was going to the gym daily. I have fallen off the wagon and plan to start over on Monday. DH and I have already talked about going to the grocery store on Sunday to get prepared. DH is going to wake up early and go to the gym with me, so we will be able to hold each other accountable, too!

@antoto Oh no! I'm so sorry. As much as PCOS sucks, you should be able to get pregnant--it just may take a little help. Around our house, I refer to PCOS as POS (Piece of Shit

) When is your appointment with the RE?

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Blighted Ovum confirmed on 7/5, Cytotec to induce miscarriage on 7/7 and 7/8 and now a D&C scheduled for this afternoon.

How long do you think you'll be here? After the D&C, we will wait until I get my next period, so one cycle, before we move forward with another medicated/IUI cycle.

How have things been going? Honestly, I'm just ready to move on. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since I found out this pregnancy was not viable, and I feel like I've been waiting forever to move on. While I hate the thought of having surgery today, I am relieved that we should be able to get some closure and be able to heal and move forward with trying again.

Any R/R/CS? Not at this time!

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in? I LOVE Angel Food Cake! And I'm soooo hungry right now and can't eat because of the surgery this afternoon and all of these GTKY responses are making my mouth water!

[Deleted User] · July 2016

@beary67 I'm so sorry about your appointment today! I really admire your positive attitude about wanting to move forward - you are strong as hell.

I don't have an appointment with the RE yet. I called yesterday and left a message but they never called back. I'll try again today as soon as they open.

Marley629 · July 2016

@beary67 we can do it together and hold each other accountable

MamaCoffin · July 2016

After spending 2 and a half weeks in the deepest, darkest hole I've been in in a long time.... I think I'm ready to come back over here.

Are you benched or TTA? benched

What brings you here? 3rd miscarriage. 1 in November at 12 week (d&c), 1 chemical in April, 1 just recently at almost 8 weeks. I started bleeding July 7th. Passed huge clots over that weekend. Just had to have the sac removed (it was stuck in my cervix) on the 21st. Dr wants us to wait at least 3 cycles before trying again and has advised seeking some answers.

How long do you think you'll be here? I have no idea. We aren't sure what we're going to do yet. My Dr is more than willing to refer me to an RE and get me going with some testing but I have mixed feelings. It's SO expensive. We already have two children and I'd much rather invest that kind of money in their future than on maybe not really getting any answers or solutions.

How have things been going? Really not well. I'm a mess. No lie. Since that positive test in September my life has been a whirlwind of emotions and stress. We also came close to losing our 2 year old in April. She spent 5 days in critical care and had transfusions and scopes and everything else you can think of. She's doing well now but we still don't know exactly what's wrong and she's continuing treatments. I just want a whole 24 hours where I don't feel like the universe is against me.

Any R/R/CS? I guess my above rant could go here. Ha.

GTKY: What is your favorite dessert to overindulge in? I'm really not a dessert person. But every once in a while if I get a sweet tooth I go for a cookie or a candy bar.

KirstinH88 · July 2016

@MamaCoffin I'm so incredibly saddened by what you are going through. Not just the miscarriages, but the unanswered issues with your daughter as well. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. The biggest of creepy internet hugs to you.

kiwi2628 · July 2016

@MamaCoffin, I am so incredibly sorry for your losses and your daughters health issues. My heart is aching for you.

MamaCoffin · July 2016

Thanks guys. In other positive news (and a little aw....

People kept asking what they could do to help. I set up a little gofundme thing for people who wanted to contribute to bedroom makeovers for the girls. I worked on my youngests over the weekend. It feels good to have the community around us and it also felt good to have some strength and drive back. I painted her floor and bookshelf. She loves it!

virginiaham · July 2016

@MamaCoffin I am so very sorry.

Marley629 · July 2016

@MamaCoffin my thoughts are with you right now. I'm so sorry.

AliciaGoose · July 2016

@MamaCoffin I am so incredibly sorry to hear about everything you are going though. My thoughts are with you and your family.

On the positive side, your daughters bedroom looks amazing. I am glad you are able to do something nice for them and that it has made you feel a little better. Big creepy Internet hugs to you.

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