TGIF!!

fivetimesnoluck · July 2016

What is everyone up to this weekend? Any big trips or activities planned??

I am going to be getting up bright and early tomorrow to drive 2.5 hours to get inseminated by a catheter! So sexy, right?!

Srsly, though... I am pretty excited. Poor DH is anxious enough for the both of us, so I am going to try and keep the scales balanced between anxiety and excitement.

Hope all of you have a great weekend!

SnobunnieMel · July 2016

@fivetimesnoluck

Aera11 · July 2016

Omg @SnobunnieMel I'm dying!! FX @fivetimesnoluck!

brooklyngirl18 · July 2016

YAY friday!! woohoo

@fivetimesnoluck good luck tomorrow! i'll be thinking of you.
@SnobunnieMel lmao that's so funny

I don't have anything planned and am looking forward to lounging around my house in the air conditioning. I am CD8 so maybe i'll have a few a cocktails, you know, to help keep cool in the heat wave

lilylover27 · July 2016

@fivetimesnoluck good luck tomorrow! FX!!

we are having new carpet installed tomorrow!! So excited to get rid of the ratty old carpet! Then preparing for the wedding in Florida next weekend the rest of Saturday. Sunday I have a baby sprinkle to go to, so that should be interesting. Same family that last time I almost cried seeing her pregnant because we would of been weeks apart. Saw her since then though and was fine so hopefully will be on Sunday too!!

fivetimesnoluck · July 2016

Thanks, all! I appreciate every good wish, prayer and vibe y'all offer! I need it!

@SnobunnieMel That image is hilarious! love it!

@lilylover27 It's always nice getting a little upgrade to the house! Random, but true: I grew up in the "Carpet Capital of the World" (Dalton, GA), so I can appreciate some good flooring!

@brooklyngirl18 Have a cocktail for me! Sounds like a great way to beat the heat!

roper2617 · July 2016

Finally Friday!
This weekend my plan is to not test. If I manage that it'll be a success (only 5 dpo but SS like crazy right now).

DH and I have our nephew over for the night. He's such a sweetie and lives 7 hours away so we don't often get to see him. He's staying with MIL but she needs a break so we're taking him.
Tomorrow we are going boating and Sunday I'm cleaning the house and packing for my trip next week.

Fx! @fivetimesnoluck

Aera11 · July 2016

We're getting a couples massage this afternoon and then going to pick up our new car! It's a self-indulgent day but that's ok, it's sort of a rare thing. Then I'm going to see a friend who had a baby on Sunday with another friend. I think it'll be ok. The hardest part is just that our babies would have been SO close in age since my next EDD is 7/31

I have a baby shower on Sunday that I'm dreading...it's for people I can't even consider friends at this point. Why am I going?? No idea... Please let there be mimosas

amberruka · July 2016

@fivetimesnoluck FX!!! Good Luck!!

My mom is visiting from Texas, arrived a day late because of the Southwest SNAFU, but it's all good. DH and I saw endocrine this morning and if my T3 goes down from my blood draw today, I am officially off. The. Bench. Oooooh, I hope so!

SoonToBeMommaHowe · July 2016

Good luck @fivetimesnoluck!! And fingers crossed for your blood draw @amberruka, getting off the bench will be exciting!

Cheers to mimosas and cocktails! I may also indulge in a beverage or two this weekend. I think it's CD1 for me so I'm basically on the brink of hysteria...might as well say screw it and have a nice cold summery beer.

@SnobunnieMel..you crack me up!

DH and I have his family's annual golf tournament tomorrow. It's supposed to be 95* and I'm terrible at golf so it should be awesome! Sunday we're going to my college bball coaches lake house and spending some time on his boat! I used to nanny his kiddos who are now 12 and 10, yikes! I'm really looking forward to hanging out with them

BornReady · July 2016

@fivetimesnoluck so excited for
yoir IUI! Sending lots of good luck your way!

@Aera11 enjoy your day! A couple's massage sounds great!

AFM.. Met with a new therapist today, she was awesome. I'm excited that I liked her. I'm also a therapist, so I tend to have high expectations and be skeptical, but she seemed cool.

tomorrow I am going to visit my niece at camp. It's a long ride, but it is the same camp I went to as a kid and I haven't seen it in years. I'm excited for some childhood nostalgia!

also, got AF today so officially on the path to my frozen transfer! Bring on the high doses of hormones... Again.

AandDM2014 · July 2016

I'm finally for reals back on the TTC bandwagon! Yay! My plans for this weekend include a surprise party for one of DHs friends on Saturday then a meet-and-greet for one of DHs other friends who had a baby in January (that no one has met yet, they're very secretive). I should also be starting to plan out my oral med schedule for my upcoming FET, which will hopefully be next Thursday!

@fivetimesnoluck why is your DH anxious? I always find it strange when the ladies on the board talk about their DHs getting weird about giving samples and such. I guess I got really really lucky that my DH never once voiced any concerns about his procedures (though he did bitch about his one vial blood draw for months!). If he ever was nervous about it, he made sure I didn't know so I didn't have to worry any more than I already was.

@BornReady Yay! I'm so excited you can finally start the FET process! Hopefully you won't need tons of hormones! This time around, I've needed way less than usual. I'm at my highest dosage of estradiol, and I'm only taking 8 mg orally. I usually get up to 8 mg orally and 4 mg vaginally, and my lining is usually thinner.

@Aera11 Why are you going if they aren't even your friend? If I were you, I'd totally just skip it!

chloe97 · July 2016

@bornready glad you like your new therapist. I really need to get on finding a new one. This recent mood setback really has me thinking about it!

@aera11 Yay for a new car! We got one in December and I love it! I also got a massage yesterday.

@SoonToBeMommaHowe I suck at golf too. That's sound not like fun to me either,

@fivetimesnoluck Good luck at your IUI!! Will be thinking about you.

AFM I'm in a spectacularly shitty mood today. DH and I had a fight this morning and I don't even feel like making up. I feel like I could explode and rain down PMS on everyone around me.

Tomorrow we are going to a wedding of a friend who is my only friend both from high school and college. I was so excited to go, but now I'm DREADING seeing my friend who sent the the insensitive email announcing her pregnancy due the same month as mine, replying all to my horrible loss email. As a survivor if 4 losses, including a 3rd trimester loss, my best friend from college is usually my go to support person for this stuff. Unfortunately she's also pregnant and due in September and seeing her in person is going to be incredibly hard.

Somehow I managed to start down a rapid hole obsession of my BRCA1 variance of uncertain significant results- which basically means I could have the gene or I could not have it. My aunt got breast cancer at 44 and died at 55 -2 weeks shy of her son's graduation from high school. Knowing all of this, I start questioning whether I should have kids if I'm going to possibly leave them early. And I worry if I do get my rainbow, about my ability to give them a sibling at 39 or 40. Is it fair to them to just have one?? Sorry I'm down a deep dark hole today. I question every single decision I've ever made today.

roxgibbons · July 2016

@chloe97 sorry about the rough day and bad mood. It's ok to stew about your feelings. Sometimes it helps to just process things and let your feelings naturally fade. But add hormones on top of it makes things worse. Have you talked to your friend since you confronted her? That said- if she didn't have enough common sense to understand why you were upset in the first place, it's probably best you keep your distance. Ughh that's rough. I know you best friend is preggo and I know it will be hard for you tomorrow to see her, but she gets how you feel and I am sure she will be there for you to support you through all of this. I hope everything goes smoothly for you tomorrow and I'm sorry for the rough TTCAL day. I know where are at and also let's not forget the AMA thoughts on top of it. Hugs to you.

@Aera11 The massage sounds great! Enjoy

@BornReady I'm so excited for your FET! One step closer

@SnobunnieMel you are the meme MVP- hope all is well.
@fivetimesnoluck GL tomorrow!! Sending you positive vibes

AFM: We are having dinner with friends tomorrow night but unfortunately, I am feeling a bit under the weather. I haven't been sick once this year and hope I am not catching something. I am swamped at work and can't be sick right now. I've been generally feeling really good, but today I feel like someone kicked my ass. Also- for the first time since my loss I have EWCM!!!! I can't believe it. I started a regimen of chinese herbs from my acupuncturist and I'm wondering if it's helping. It's CD 14 which is early for me since I usually don't O until CD 17 or 18 on un-medicated cycles. I am going to take an OPK as soon as I get home and see what my body is up to- dammit I wish I was temping!!

fivetimesnoluck · July 2016

@AandDM2014 DH suffers from some serious anxiety. Because I also have had issues with anxiety, I acknowledge that it's a real issue over which he has very little control. We talk openly about these things. He is mainly anxious about this particular event because he doesn't want to let me down. I told him it takes two!

He has always supported me when I'm feeling the pressure and I do the same for him. We are damn good team. I'm so lucky to have married my match.

Since we we have experienced five miscarriages, we have both been changed. DH started seeing a therapist last year and also recently started taking Lexapro after the therapy alone didn't address all the issues. After 3.5 years of this, I'm just thrilled that we have grown together rather than apart.

AandDM2014 · July 2016

@fivetimesnoluck Ah, that makes more sense then. I can see why he'd be worried about letting you down. I know I was always glad that the only thing I had to do that day was lay on a table!

SnobunnieMel · July 2016

Had our follow up appointment with the RE and pretty much exactly what we expected. Benched until DHs genetic testing comes back to make sure we don't match on any of the diseases I am a carrier for. If he does we go straight to IVF with testing. If he is "normal" then we start clomid next cycle with a trigger to make sure we know when ovulation is to start progesterone at the right time. We will do 3 cycles with clomid and if unsuccessful then IVF. All my CD3 labs look ok, except my AMH wasn't back. Typical. The important one.

As as for the rest of the weekend I am working tomorrow with a hair appointment. Finally. I haven't had my hair done since early March since every appointment falls when I was "pregnant" so I canceled. Then had a CP and i am so busy the roots are bad. Couple of surgeries Sunday so he whole weekend is already shot. Oh well.

AandDM2014 · July 2016

@SnobunnieMel If you don't mind me asking, what was your AMH? And I hope your DHs test results come back in your favor! It seems like you get pregnant easily, but don't stay that way. Hopefully the steps your RE is having you take will help one stick for 9 months!

Hopefulmommy1980 · July 2016

@bornready that is good you found a therapist you like. I can understand having a hard time finding one you like. I am a psychologist and have been reluctant to see anyone because I feel like I should be able to do it on my own. So I admire your willingness.

@fivetimesnoluck good luck

@chloe97 sorry things are so hard right now. It is easy to ask lots of what if when you are feeling down. I hope that you get to feeling better

my weekend plans are pretty boring. I plan to sleep in, take the dog to the vet to get her shots, and do some house work. This is the first weekend in two months that I haven't worked at least one of the two days

SnobunnieMel · July 2016

@AandDM2014 my AMH is the one test that wasn't back. My fsh was 7.2 but I care more about AMH.

BornReady · July 2016

@chloe97 I have a similar rabbit hole as you...how long with I be around for my kids? Is it unfair to have just one? Will my children resent me for being "older"? How far am I willing to go with this before the negative out weighs the hope? The list goes on and on. Oh and doubting every decision I've ever made in my life before, check and check. It's all so gross and I'm jealous of anyone who has never had to deal with these internal questions. I asked for some peace today in therapy and to shut up my brain. Those are literally my therapeutic goals. Sending you good vibes this weekend.

@Hopefulmommy1980 Thanks! It is weird isn't it? I feel like I have the "tools" in so many ways, but applying them to myself at this particular time has been challenging.

@SnobunnieMel Glad you had the follow up and have a couple of options for how to proceed. This whole infertility business is a lot of hurry up and wait.

@AandDM2014 Thanks, I hope I don't need too much either. I'm currently on the patch and 4 mg orally. Pending for an August 11th transfer. When do you plan to transfer? How many will you transfer? I'm sure you've mentioned this before, but I get lost with those long IVF threads on the infertility board!

@fivetimesnoluck That's so great that this experience has brought you and DH closer as opposed to apart. I can totally see how this whole process brings people to divorce and other relationship issues. There are so many opportunities to feel anger, resentment, depression, etc. Glad you can both support one another and continue to your shared goal. Hoping it comes sooner than later, you've waited long enough!

AandDM2014 · July 2016

@SnobunnieMel When will you get the results? I hope it turns out favorably! I know I was shocked when I got the results from mine!

@BornReady That seems like a really long time from now for already being on estrogen! Oh, unless you just started. My transfer is scheduled for Thursday morning. We have three left, so we decided to transfer all of them. Our previous three transfers have all been 2, and none of them have resulted in a successful pregnancy past 10 weeks, so my doc was comfortable with transferring all 3, even though I'm only 26. And I hear you about the long IVF threads! I have a hard time keeping up, especially when 30+ responses show up overnight!

rainbowturtles · July 2016

Omggggggg. @SoonToBeMommaHowe do we all give off some sort of "pregnancy vibe" since we just want to be pregnant so badly??? I just performed and my friend said her mom asked her if I'm pregnant??!! I mean, I know I have a LITTLE period bloat going on but I thought I looked so nice! My friend said I don't look pg and it must have just been the way the wind blew my dress but jeepers, my body image is bad enough and now it's all I can think of. The friend knows I'm trying and was saying she wanted to tell her mom "no but she's trying" but she apologized for telling me and said she shouldn't have told me. Like, I want to BE pregnant, not LOOK pregnant!

chloe97 · July 2016

Thanks everyone for the kind words yesterday. Feeling emotionally better today. Im now 16 DPO and had a .4 degree temp drop and still cramping up a storm. I've had what I can only describe as super super light spotting. My one cycle I temped and got AF, I had bleeding the day after my temp drop, so I'm praying I get some sort of blood tomorrow. Either way I'm calling my RE on Monday because at the very least it should be CD 2 based on the temp drop. I hope they believe me, so my Dr's thinking temping is BS. I really don't want to miss out on DOR testing this cycle.

roxgibbons · July 2016

@chloe97 keeping my fingers crossed that AF comes today or tomorrow. I know how frustrating it has been for you. Sometimes trying to figure out what our bodies are up to is so nerve wracking and annoying. I'm glad you're feeling better and good luck at the wedding!!

@SnobunnieMel I remember it took a bit for my AMH results to come back as well but your FSH looks good so that's promising. I'm glad you have a plan lined up- although the journey can be frustrating having a plan seems to help.

@fivetimesnoluck I hope everything went nice and easy for you this morning.

HLD3194 · July 2016

Officially one of the crapiest weekends ever.....not 1 but 2 surprise announcements...not to say I'm not happy for them but just kind of hit me off guard and now I'm not in such a good place...and both of these women are in my life alot. I can't help but be so sad for myself and jealous and just completely upset. I feel like an asshole but I just can't help it

roper2617 · July 2016

@crazypt2285 so sorry to hear about being bombarded with unexpected announcements. Hugs!

Hopefulmommy1980 · July 2016

@crazypt2285 I'm sorry. Surprise announcements for hard. And even if you are happy for them you can be sad for yourself.

Aera11 · July 2016

I'm sorry @crazypt2285, surprise announcements are the worst! I know they're inevitable but so so hard. The baby shower I'm stuck going to today is going to be ridiculous and I'm literally only going so I can watch this bsc go down. My 'friend' who is having the baby doesn't want any photos of her on social media (uhh then delete your accounts) because her husbands cousin can't have a baby. These people are so stupid. Don't they realize that after this baby is born and they surprise that on the cousin, that that is actually a worse situation?
She also wants two gift tables...one if you want your gift opened and one of you don't. Uh once again....the point of the shower is to open your gifts.

chloe97 · July 2016

@crazypt2285 I'm so sorry for your craptastic weekend. I had to hang out with my 2 pregnant friends all weekend and hear about their birth plans and bitch about not being able to drink at the wedding. To top things off, my college BFF chose our boys name for her baby's name. I'm trying to remind myself that we were going to have a girl- at least with the 2nd pregnancy- so she would've gotten to choose her name first anyway, but it still sucks.

All my friends were commenting about how we must not get up early because we don't have kids as if our life is easy and this is the way we want it. I feel like we are destined to be the child free couple of the group forever. And it just sucks.

Oh and I'm definitely on CD 1 or CD 2 and the blood is not coming out, so now I'm in pain. Eventually the blood broke free last time, so I'm trying not to call the Dr. I have a feeling I will be fighting with the nurse tomorrow about whether I should get DOR bloodwork if I have no bleeding since they define CD 1 as medium flow. Why does my body have to do weird shit all the time?!?

SoonToBeMommaHowe · July 2016

rainbowturtles said:

Omggggggg. @SoonToBeMommaHowe do we all give off some sort of "pregnancy vibe" since we just want to be pregnant so badly??? I just performed and my friend said her mom asked her if I'm pregnant??!! I mean, I know I have a LITTLE period bloat going on but I thought I looked so nice! My friend said I don't look pg and it must have just been the way the wind blew my dress but jeepers, my body image is bad enough and now it's all I can think of. The friend knows I'm trying and was saying she wanted to tell her mom "no but she's trying" but she apologized for telling me and said she shouldn't have told me. Like, I want to BE pregnant, not LOOK pregnant!

freakin A @rainbowturtles, we must. I'm really sorry that happened to you. Why would she tell you that?? It sucks so much..

If you can believe it, after my crappy weekend last weekend, I seriously got questioned by a lady at a church cookout on Thursday about "when I was due". I just rubbed it off and said oh I'm not, thinking she'd get the hint. Well today at church she came up to me, rubbed my belly (in front of DH) and said "I just love seeing these things and watching them grow. I love having new babies at church." The last time this happened (last Friday) I held it together but after three pregnancy announcements and two belly rubs in like a 10 day span, I just couldn't. Meltdown started in the lobby at church after I explained I wasn't pregnant and was full force by the time I got to the parking lot and into the car. I am just so so so sad...and to be on my period right now just amplifies the whole crappy situation.

Sorry about the surprise announcements @crazypt2285. The. Worst.

amberruka · July 2016

WTH @SoonToBeMommaHowe?! Is she senile?! Gosh, I am so, so sorry.

roxgibbons · July 2016

@SoonToBeMommaHowe that's insane!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. You too@rainbowturtles that's too much. WTH is wrong with people???

@chloe97 good luck tomorrow talking to the nurse. I hope it all works out and you get to start your testing.

rainbowturtles · July 2016

@SoonToBeMommaHowe you have GOT to be kidding me????!!!! I'd be a livid, sobbing mess

I'm so so sorry.

Tw: abortion---
And I don't know why she would tell me that either but this is the same friend who likes to compare her abortion to my miscarriage, saying that she understands...even tho that was her choice and she says she doesn't think she ever wants kids!!! She's lucky I'm incredibly understanding and patient with her but ya, I think she just really doesn't understand.
---Tw over

Sounds like we're all having a rough time; let's make sure we do something nice for ourselves today

edited for clarity

Aera11 · July 2016

@SoonToBeMommaHowe omg that is awful! I am so sorry. I swear people don't think. At my grandmas funeral lunch last month, the waiter made a comment to me about how "this was such a blessing" and pointed to my stomach. My husband was in shock and I just politely nodded. We thought she assumed I was KU since I was drinking iced tea and everyone else had alcohol.

@chloe97 I can totally relate to feeling like 'the friends who don't have kids'. I had that horrific baby shower today and one of the friends of the girl who is pregnant, was asking all our friends when they were having #2 (like mind your own damn business, you don't even know us), and all their kids are under 1. Then she came to me and said, "do you have kids yet? Do you want them?" I HATE HATE HATE getting asked both of the those...especially the last one. My friend next to me intercepted since she knows about my situation, but I can't stand feeling like I have to play wanting kids down to a maybe-kinda thing. No, we want them. Really bad actually, so thanks for asking. Ugh...

HLD3194 · July 2016

I'm sorry we're all having a shitty time but at least we have each other love all you ladies

TGIF!!

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